Will it get better? Am I going to regret leaving home as a teenager, in the long run?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 18 years old and about two months ago I left home. I never got on well with my dad and I was quite distant from my mother. I have serious middle child syndrome, I'm quite selfish and never satisfied. I was yearning emotion...
A. 25 May 2016: Please remember that you only get one set off parents in life. Think off it this way, if your mum and dad died in a car crash tonight how would you feel? Would you miss them? Be upset? Use these feelings for something positive. You don't need to ... (read in full...)
Am I truly being selfish? What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm very upset and I'm sorry this is long. I feel like I'm selfish and I don't know what to do. My mom isn't in the best of health but is pushing through. Now, my brother texts me and says my mom is really hurt cause she feels as ...
A. 25 May 2016: You are not being selfish at all they are. They probably like that you help with the bills and around the house, but that is not your responsibility. It is their house. Move out with your boyfriend and start your own life, your family will accept it ... (read in full...)
Why do people want strippers at celebration parties just before they marry?
Q. Hi this is a weird question because its a hypothetical. I think its very strange that before two people get married they are encouraged to have strippers at their bachelor/ bachelorette parties. I've never been to a strip club even though it w...
A. 25 May 2016: I don't think they need to have a stripper, I think what happens is whoever is organizing it will do it for a laugh. I think it is meant as harmless and fun. It depends the type of girl you will end up with, she might see the same view as you, or ... (read in full...)
I don't mind paying but resent being asked to
Q. Dear Cupid: I was on an on-line dating site. A man sent me messages saying he would like to meet me. We met at a place he picked, I told him I was good with just a drink (no food). I had one beer (it was happy hour), he picked up the tab which wa...
A. 25 May 2016: The thing is you are only getting to know this man, so for all you know this could be his sense of humor. All men are different, while yes he could be serious and feel that you owe him one, in which case you can decide that he is not the man you ... (read in full...)
I asked her about meeting up but she's gone cold. How can I become friends with her?
Q. I became friends with this girl I liked at work and also on social media right away. We get on well with each other and she always finds the time to talk to me. The only problem I have is. That I worry I say the wrong things to her and can't re...
A. 24 May 2016: You liker her, so you befriended her, great. It does not automatically mean she knows that you like her or even that she automatically likes you. You need to try and work your magic and show her that you care. If she is not interested hopefully she ... (read in full...)
Don't want this to feel like a parent child relationship. how to make him see where I'm coming from?
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for three years now and its been lovely. He cares about me a lot, we have our own separate lives and we don't live together but we are moving in together in a few months. I've really excited about this but w...
A. 24 May 2016: You can have the choice to do drugs if you want, he wants you to promise him not to because he cares about you and what these drugs might do to you? You have saw cases am sure where someone gets a bad tablet and boom they are dead. I have saw people ... (read in full...)
I don't mind paying but resent being asked to
Q. Dear Cupid: I was on an on-line dating site. A man sent me messages saying he would like to meet me. We met at a place he picked, I told him I was good with just a drink (no food). I had one beer (it was happy hour), he picked up the tab which wa...
A. 24 May 2016: I don't really see the problem, he may think he is showing interest in you but not vice versa, he could be hinting at you to ask him out so that he feels you are interested. ... (read in full...)
I need help ending this affair
Q. We both were friends from past 6yrs like since from our college days. We were close enough and one day conffessed him that I was having crush on him and so he confessed the same. Because of this we became more close and we used flirt with each ...
A. 24 May 2016: Stop being selfish and control yourself. Look you are getting married and he is married, therefore this needs to stop. How would you feel if it was your husband having sex behind your back? How do you think your partners are going to feel when they ... (read in full...)
I thought there were mutual feelings but that the timing was off.
Q. Definitely needs some advice here, So my boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time now, (3+ years). While I do care for him, we are opposites and have been on and off. 2 years ago, I went on a trip with my school and met a guy (al...
A. 24 May 2016: I can see why you feel crushed, because you have feelings for him, maybe he does for you as well, but I am pretty sure he probably accepted that you had a boyfriend therefore he carried on with his life and had you as a friend and nothing more.
H... (read in full...)
He wont talk to me after a fight.
Q. I've been talking with this guy for months now, but lately I'm juSt having difficulty dealing with him. He was really caring, and acts nice and always tries to keep the conversation going. We had a fight a 2 weeks ago, and I hurt him with my ...
A. 24 May 2016: He sounds like he is trying to get you to leave him alone, and you sound like you are being a bit clingy. Maybe he likes this other girl, and yes she has not been fair making up rumors about you, it sounds though like he has choose to take her side ... (read in full...)
Chance to see a girl at a party who I talked to online, before she rejected me. Do I try to speak to her? Do I just pretend it never happened?
Q. This is quite embarrassing but I met a girl online. I found out recently I have the chance to meet her. Really random and unlikely, so maybe its a sign we are meant to be? Either way all this time I still have not moved on and forgot about her...
A. 24 May 2016: I am guessing that you have never met this girl before when you say you have the chance to meet her. This is why online dating can be tricky, because people lie about themselves all the time. So I really doubt she will be quick to forgive you, time ... (read in full...)
I'm very grateful for my Mother's help, but why would a mother treat one son more favourably, financially, than her other son?
Q. Hello to all the Aunts and Uncles Okay, I'm really needing some help here. Basically I have lost pretty much everything. I don't want to really go into that side of things too much. But I've lost my home. My business. When I went under my ...
A. 23 May 2016: Talk to your mum, as I am sure she has her reasons. ... (read in full...)
He chooses the couch every time. Why doesn't my boyfriend want to sleep in the bed with me?
Q. I am 18 years old and I started dating this 39 year old guy 3 months ago and every time I sleep over at his house he sleeps on the couch while I'm in his bed. The first time this happened I didn't pay much attention to it because I had fallen a...
A. 23 May 2016: You are both at very different stage off your life, you are still very young, and you want to wait before you settle down and have children which is completely natural, but he is at an age now where he is probably in a hurry to have a family and get ... (read in full...)
Has anyone here cut ties with their own parent? Can I cut ties?
Q. Has anyone here cut ties with their own parent? This is going to come off terribly rude but I don't know how else to put it. My mother is a drug addict who also has mental issues, and treats me bad. After having a big argument last night over...
A. 23 May 2016: I think you need to cut her out, I can understand why it will be a difficult thing to do, she is your mother and you want her to be a good one. But the sad truth is she is not, she is toxic and she only brings you down. Can you actually name one ... (read in full...)
I never realized how lazy my boyfriend was until we moved into together!
Q. Hi everyone I've been with my boyfriend just under 4 years we have a 17 month old daughter and have just moved in together the problem is I didn't realise how lazy he is he goes to work and admits he does nothing comes home I have tea ready I sort ...
A. 23 May 2016: He sounds very immature. If he is not listening to you well then stop cooking him dinner. Don't do anything for him until he starts helping you. Don't do his washing or ironing, nothing. If he does not change I would suggest a trial separation, ask ... (read in full...)
Does it feel different having another person touch you than when you're touching yourself?
Q. Does it feel different having another person touch you than when you're touching yourself? I guess I'm a little weird because I can only get off when I just get direct to the point. I've read that you should stroke yourself everywhere like your thi...
A. 23 May 2016: Yes it does feel different when someone else is doing it, if you wait for the right person then it should feel better. If you are turned on by a partner then your body will become responsive to them.
Sweetie you are not weird at all, everyone is d... (read in full...)
Will a new lover help fix my sexual issues?
Q. Hello all, I'm looking for some advice regarding my sex life. I ended a 6 year relationship around a year and a half ago and in the time I've taken since then to get over it, I've realised just how damaging that past relationship was. He had ...
A. 23 May 2016: There could be several reasons why you have emotionally detached yourself from men in the past, it is quite possible you did not want any off them to hurt you therefore you mentally built up a barrier. You telling yourself that men only want sex so ... (read in full...)
I like him and don't know what to do
Q. So for this I'm going to use the letters K and W. Alright so I've liked this guy, W, since freshman year (of high school) he's a grade above me but he's also one of my really good friends. Well W also had a huge crush on my best friend. So while I ...
A. 23 May 2016: I am sure it was difficult for you when he likes your friend and you liked him. You say he is over her now, but you can never be sure, because only he knows how he really feels.
The thing is he has described you as a sister to him, so to me that... (read in full...)
Stressed, tired and fearful he'll look elsewhere
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together five years and we bought a house together three months ago. I've been working full time and studying for the last ten months. I finish my study in two months. I've been really busy and stressed. I've put on 10 ...
A. 23 May 2016: Your working and studying so I am not surprised that you are probably feeling tired and possibly stressed. My guess is that this is what is causing your problems not the relationship itself. You are finished your studies in two months, so stay ... (read in full...)
What's happening to me? Am I feeling all this emotion as a result of supressing my feelings?
Q. Hello its Military Man once again. The count down for deployment is 4 days and im starting to experience things I never really strongly felt before.....emotion. I mean Ive been hurt and understood this but I never been able to show it. Like whe...
A. 23 May 2016: Your feelings will catch up with you at some point in life, you cannot run away from them forever. It could be all steming from the fact that you need to leave your wife and children. Do you have a therapist that you can talk to? Someone to listen ... (read in full...)
Am I seeing too much into this? Or is he seeing me as more than a friend?
Q. Hello everyone, this is my first time on a site like this and I think it's just so great to find something that allows us to help each other through our own unique experiences. To get to my situation: I am an openly gay male and I recently came in ...
A. 23 May 2016: It is quite impossible to say if he is interested in more. If he is shy it can be hard to approach this subject with him, but it is possible. Next time you are hanging out, comment on a famous guy that you fancy and ask him what does he think? If he ... (read in full...)
What causes my GF to go from hot to cold towards me? Could it be depression or a mental health issue?
Q. I'm a gay female. I have a dilemma I need some advice about. I have been sleeping with a good friend of mine for about six months now. The problem is she blows very hot and cold on me regularly, and I don't know how to deal with it. For a mon...
A. 23 May 2016: Have you tried talking to her to see what she wants from you and her? This is a hard situation as it is literally two friends who are sexual with each other, but do you want more? Does she? Can you both openly talk about it? It would help if you ... (read in full...)
Did he or did he not? I am 16, why did my BF lie about losing his virginity and then change his story?
Q. So I have been with my boyfriend who I met at a concert for a month. We are both sixteen. We hadn't discussed sex at all until now. I was curious to know if he had sex before, but I wasn't bold enough to ask outright. So when we were finally talking ...
A. 23 May 2016: He probably did not want you to think he was abnormal or that he was inexperienced. I am glad he finally told you the truth, but he did not lie to hurt you, it was just his pride getting in the way, no guy wants to admit that they are still a ... (read in full...)
Can you recall regrets you felt as a result of getting divorced? Did people respect you less as a result?
Q. How many of you regret getting a divorce?? How many of you feel you made the right or wrong decision? I'm my situation there are no kids involved. Did you remain friends with your ex? How close were you to their family and was it hard telling ...
A. 23 May 2016: It should not matter what other people think about it, it is your life and something you need to take control over. If you are in an unhappy marriage and you have tried to make it work then divorce might be the answer. Try talking to each other ... (read in full...)
Yes my BF smokes but does that justify my family humiliating me and say abusive things. Is there a way to stop them doing this?
Q. My boyfriend smokes weed and is open about it, I have been with him for a few years now. I only smoke every now and again My sister has called me all sorts of names daily such as stoner, etc...if I question anything anyone says or say anyth...
A. 23 May 2016: Your family are taunting you because what your boyfriend does and what you sometimes do is illegal. They bring up paranoia because that is what weed does to you. It is your choice if you want to break the law, but that does not make your family ... (read in full...)
Anxious every Friday that boyfriend will be drunk when I get home. What therapy will help me?
Q. Hi. Can anyone advise what type of therapy would help me. Every Friday I become so anxious wondering whether my boyfriend will be drunk when I get home I can hardly to my work. He knows I don't like it when he drinks too much and it usually ends in ...
A. 20 May 2016: I don't think you need medication or CBT. I think you need to take control of your life and ask yourself why are you with someone who drinks so heavy that it is causing you to be anxious? The thing is you know why you are anxious on a Friday and ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my coach but does he like me back?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a massive crush on my coach for a specific sport and I'm wondering if he likes me back or if it is all in my head? I just started a few weeks ago and I've learned his name and a bit about him, what school he went to, how old ...
A. 20 May 2016: Going by your age bracket and him being three years older I doubt that he would see you as anything more than a student who plays on his sports team. He is older than you and he is in a position to guide you and he should never pass that line. If he ... (read in full...)
Should I cut ties with the friend who still hears from the mutual friend I fell out with?
Q. I have a dilemma about a friend (Girl A) of mine who is also a friend with another girl that I had a bad fall out with (Girl B). The thing is - I got hurt and betrayed badly by Girl B - so after the fallout I tried to disassociate myself from bot...
A. 20 May 2016: Girl A has done nothing wrong on you, neither has the friends off Girl B. The thing is when you disconnect innocent people from your life it just means that you will be the one that is left lonely and bitter. Girl A has done nothing wrong, maybe at ... (read in full...)
What comes after divorce? What will my life to be like afterwards?
Q. Debating divorce, what can I expect my life to be like afterwards?!?!?! I haven't been single since I was 16. I've only had one partner. I can cook, clean, pay bills, budget, keep books, fix minor mechanical issues in vehicles, I mow the lawn...
A. 20 May 2016: Your life will be what you make off it. Anything could happen really. ... (read in full...)
Is trust something you can work on with a partner, or is it a complete lost cause if you don't trust them?
Q. Dearcupid, is trust something you can work on with a partner, or is it a complete lost cause if you don't trust them? My ex boyfriend and I have been back in contact as of only a month ago. We were broken up for several months. I had broken up with...
A. 20 May 2016: In some ways you can learn and work on trust. However in your case it will be very difficult. The thing is this man lied and cheated on you. He was seeing another woman behind your back, so if he cared for you as much as he says he does well he ... (read in full...)
He is losing respect for me and its making me hate myself
Q. Don't get me wrong my manis god to me at times but I'm getting married in 2 weeks time but I need some advice on how to tell my husband to be to stop being so hard on me all the time especially the past 10 months. They're is in age gap between us it ...
A. 20 May 2016: Okay well sweetie the thing is you need to accept the way you look because your wedding is in two weeks and nothing is going to drastically change. If you are over weight well then you just need to accept it and then after the wedding do something ... (read in full...)
Is it time to say 'NO,' (with no guilt), to E and mean it? Do children have to attend parties put on by overbearing parents?
Q. There is this lady "E" who is driving me nuts! Her kids (boy and girl twins with the SAME gender neutral name,let's say J Lee and J Leigh) are turning 10 next month and she drove to our house to drop off an invitation and itinerary. Yes. An itine...
A. 20 May 2016: I do feel sorry for her children as they will be learning her traits and that is probably why nobody wants to hang out with them, it is probably because they hear their parents saying they dont like E as well. It really is a horrible situation to be ... (read in full...)
Should my adult son's disrespectful behaviour be the subject of a discussion with him or should I just continue to mind my own business and stay silent?
Q. I am a mother of a 24 year old son, I can honestly say he was a great kid . He didn't get into much trouble as a teen and has always been very respectful. I come from a big family and a lot of them will say how great he was and is. He has been dat...
A. 20 May 2016: This is a difficult one because as you said he is an adult. The thing is how did his girlfriend react to this? Do you think she was shocked and embarrassed or do you think she was happy enough with the attention?
By all means you can tell him how ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to visit my new Bf for alleged dental work. Is this a good idea? Am I overthinking potential problems here?
Q. I started seeing someone recently We met in the old fashioned way, no internet involved ;) . We are still in the getting to know each other phase and I'm sure we'll move to the next level soon. I really like the fact that we're are not rushing ...
A. 19 May 2016: I wonder why you and your ex are even in contact? Should he not be left in the past? Tell him to find his own dentist. ... (read in full...)
If he wants to treat me like a friend then why is he also flirting with me? Is he interested again?
Q. Hi, dear agony aunts! Moving straight to the issue- I was in a relationship with this man during the middle of the last year. He decided to break up with me as he was not "mentally detached" from his ex flames. And that too over a silly text me...
A. 19 May 2016: In my opinion I don't think he wants to date you or be friends with you, I think he is wanting a hook up from you so he is being smooth and nice. You didn't work in the past because he was thinking off other girls, I don't think much will have ... (read in full...)
Does he want a committed relationship? Or production of more children? Or the chance to meet me for sex to make babies? Confused by him.
Q. I am a muslim lady 30yrs of age. Recently got talking to an older guy of around 51 yrs.actually he is a family friend, got to know him the past 5 yrs but nothing was between us til recently, he started picking interest in me. Its now 6 months sin...
A. 19 May 2016: He is filthy rich and he wants a woman who will give him children, if you choose to go down this path then you are accepting that you will be in a relationship with a man that does not love you, nor particularly want you he just wants children as he ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend checking out of our relationship?
Q. I am very upset right now with my boyfriend. I was up until 3 in the morning crying. And did not get much sleep because I have been worrying. And crying a lot. My boyfriend and I see each other 2-3 times during the week. He has a fairly consisten...
A. 19 May 2016: Okay well first off it is normal in a relationship for things to slow down sexually sometimes. That should not be an issue unless he is avoiding being intimate with you.
Now is all this worry over one day of not seeing you or has he been avoi... (read in full...)
Is our new relationship doomed?
Q. dear cupid Now I think it is time to brake up with my boyfriend but I don't known if I should. On one hand I really love him and it is going to brake my heart breaking up with him but on the anther hand I don't think our relationship is going to...
A. 19 May 2016: He is your boyfriend yet you have never kissed or even been on a date? Sweetie you might feel like you will be heartbroken, but I think the idea of being in a relationship is what you think you will miss. How do you know you love him if you have ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with complex emotions and the feelings I have that my life will spiral out of control if I break up with her? Sexually she no longer appeals
Q. My question has so many angles I realy dont know how to sum it up. There are so many parts that need more explaining but I simply cant fit them all in. I will try to summarise. I am a 47 year old male. I come from a broken familly. I have bee...
A. 19 May 2016: We are always here to listen and to help :-)... (read in full...)
My parents forced us to breakup. Two months later what should I do?
Q. Hello all :) I am writing seeking some advice from you good people as I have been facing the pain of a breakup for the past 2.5 months now. I have become depressed and mentally unstable through all of this, but am working really hard to become m...
A. 18 May 2016: Sweetie he has asked you to give him the summer to have time to himself, so as much as you want to contact him you should give him what he has asked, if he is ready he will contact you, and if he is not well then you need to accept that he has asked ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with complex emotions and the feelings I have that my life will spiral out of control if I break up with her? Sexually she no longer appeals
Q. My question has so many angles I realy dont know how to sum it up. There are so many parts that need more explaining but I simply cant fit them all in. I will try to summarise. I am a 47 year old male. I come from a broken familly. I have bee...
A. 18 May 2016: I can see why you feel guilty, but remember she is the one that choose to help you, she cannot force you to love her, but she can help you. I think personally that you need to tell her the truth. Don't be blunt but just gently tell her you love her ... (read in full...)
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