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*unt honesty agony aunt

*unt honesty

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I am on here to listen to your problems, guide you and give you my advice. Some may like what I say, and some may not, but I am not here to make friends. I am simply here because I care about people who need some help with life.

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I'm still having a tough time moving on from my previous relationship!

Q.   I posted something a couple of months ago about my now defunct seven year relationship with this woman that started out as as a FWB arrangement, but progressed into a relationship. My social life has been packed to to hilt with activities in or...

A.   11 May 2016: Block her from your phone, social media and all other ways for her to contact her. Then forget about her and move on. If she does anything out of boundaries then contact the police and tell them.... (read in full...)

I'm still having a tough time moving on from my previous relationship!

Q.   I posted something a couple of months ago about my now defunct seven year relationship with this woman that started out as as a FWB arrangement, but progressed into a relationship. My social life has been packed to to hilt with activities in or...

A.   11 May 2016: The thing with women like this, is that when they realize they cannot have what they want it is like a game to them, I bet if you where to be single in the morning she would leave you alone because she would then have lost the thrill. Are you sure... (read in full...)

I'm still having a tough time moving on from my previous relationship!

Q.   I posted something a couple of months ago about my now defunct seven year relationship with this woman that started out as as a FWB arrangement, but progressed into a relationship. My social life has been packed to to hilt with activities in or...

A.   9 May 2016: Simple answer is she is jealous that you have found someone else and you are happy. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has turned into a jerk since taking sick leave

Q.   Hey everyone! My boyfriend is currently in a difficult situation - he is 41, a barman, and has been off work on sick leave since last August. He had an operation on his back in January and his sick leave ends in the middle of April, so basically he ...

A.   9 May 2016: You are right it is not your problem, he obvious didn't care about you if he jumped in to bed with another woman, time for you to rebuild your life and enjoy it. Good luck.... (read in full...)

Should I reach out first or wait for her to call this time?

Q.   My question is: Should I continue to be the one who calls first after a fight or should I potentially let the relationship end? Now, for the background. I apologize, it's necessarily lengthy: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend ...

A.   8 May 2016: I truly am sorry that you have to go through this, but if you mean so little to her and she treats you so bad when arguing then maybe you need to start accepting this relationship was not good and move forward. ... (read in full...)

The 'what if' person

Q.   Hey guys! I'm new here but felt like I wanted to share an experience with you which kind of made me lose sight of who I was. So there is a guy who for the past four years has decided to come in and out of my life whenever he fancies. He sav...

A.   6 May 2016: You write a lovely piece, however don't be quick to judge yourself and wish you had dealt with it different. We all meet someone in our lives where we regret allowing them to treat us badly. I know I did. I allowed a guy to treat me like crap, ... (read in full...)

I'm not Barbie enough. What's the answer?

Q.   Hi, I know this sounds like a stupid question but I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is obsessed with Barbie type looking women. If a woman with long blonde hair walks past he stares at her till she's out of sight. I'm the opposite with ...

A.   6 May 2016: You have both been together a long time now, therefore you must be doing something right or he would not be with you. Look men do stare and go gooey eyed when an attractive woman walks past, however if it is all the time then you need to be stra... (read in full...)

A week after our second date she has sex with someone then texts me making small talk unaware that I know about it. What does she want?

Q.   I recently went out with a girl whom we share mutual friends. I kissed her goodnight and later on she texted me what a pleasant time she had. The next day I texted her something about wanting to kiss her again before some party we were both invited ...

A.   6 May 2016: She is not interested in you, she is interested in the attention she might get from you, but she has no romantic feelings. I guess she is playing the field until she meets someone she wants to be with. Best thing you can do is leave her to it. ... (read in full...)

Why won’t he help me around the house?

Q.   Hi everyone I am just trying to make sense of things. My boyfriend (together for 4 years) lost his job and came to live with me while looking for another. I paid all the bills including his child's (not my child) school for 6 months. He got another ...

A.   6 May 2016: First off if he cannot afford his child to be in private school then he should remove them in to a state school not depend on you. You where kind to him supporting him and his child and that makes you a good person, but he was not kind to return the ... (read in full...)

What's going on? Should I disconnect myself from this person?

Q.   I need some dire help in trying to figure out this girl. Too shorten a long story last summer I had a major falling out with my very close female friend of 7 years. The falling out happened because all she did was complain to me about boyfriends and ...

A.   6 May 2016: Your new friend does not like you in a romantic way, you need to accept that, deal with it and move on, she never promised you anything. She said she would stop talking about guys with you so she did, and she lies. It is her choice what she writes ... (read in full...)

How would my old high school teacher interpret this letter?

Q.   Does this letter to a teacher sound good? Does it seem too touchy or weird? How would it make my old teacher feel? Dear [Name of Teacher], Looking back, my impression of you was that you were very thoughtful. Your demeanor was both welcome and supp...

A.   6 May 2016: You should send it, people like to know that their work has been appreciated. I am sure your old teacher would be glad to hear some positive feed back. You are very thoughtful and kind. ... (read in full...)

Can I possibly work things out with my guy? Or am I with the wrong guy?

Q.   Dear Cupid! I am currently in a relationship with my guy for 4 years and from the beginning of the relationship I was not sure if he's the guy for me but I ignored the feeling cause I'm not a risk taker and was scared to be alone. Now we have come...

A.   6 May 2016: You say you love your guy but how can you?? Read back on the post, you speak so negatively about him, he does not listen to you, he tries to force you to do things you don't want him to do, your family don't like him, he doesn't make an effort, no ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend likes meeting new girls and gets very flirty with them! Is this messed up or what?

Q.   I have an issue regarding my boyfriend. I don't know if it's a serious issue or I'm just over reacting. Basically to put it in a nutshell, my boyfriend likes meeting new girls and getting to know them. My boyfriend is a very nice guy, but is also...

A.   6 May 2016: Please do not allow him to keep walking all over you, he is treating you badly. How disrespectful to go out collecting girls numbers and flirting with them, off course he is entitled to friends, but it seems he goes out of his way to get these girls ... (read in full...)

My ex is flirting with me. How do I keep the friendship but not resume the relationship with my ex?

Q.   A few years ago I was in a bad group of friends. Drinking, smoking weed, job after job, no hope for the future, and I was with a guy who back then seemed perfect but now not so much. When my Nan died, I got myself together, went back to college w...

A.   6 May 2016: You cannot have it both ways, the kindest thing you can do is not have a friendship with him if he is wanting more. His relationship ended because you where talking to him a lot. It is time to let him go, if you don't want to go back their then ... (read in full...)

How should I deal with these financial expectations, that my parents regard as normal, in my culture?

Q.   Hi all, I'm in a bit of a quandary now. From where I come from (Asia), my parents have some form of expectations that when I get a job in future, I'll provide for them, or give then "allowances". They weren't joking about it when they mentioned it...

A.   6 May 2016: I am afraid that this is one you will need to decide for yourself. Where I am from we don't do this, so I can see your boyfriends point of view, but also that is the norm where you are from and how you where brought up. Therefore it has to be your ... (read in full...)

Am I missing the point, or is he being over dramatic?

Q.   Im not sure what I am asking, but I guess Im wondering if this is acceptable behaviour or not. When I asked my boyfriend today if he could do me a favour, he replied not right now. I said it needed to be done right away, and he just said he cou...

A.   6 May 2016: If the dog was about to do the toilet in the house, then you both need to invest time training the dog. It is not fair to buy a dog if you are not going to train it. If it is both of your dog and he is not sharing responsibility then I can see why ... (read in full...)

Should I add her on Snapchat?

Q.   I would like to add this girl on snapchat but she doesn't know me. I went to middle school and high school with her (She's a college freshman and I'm a highschool senior). We didn't talk at all, and I'm pretty sure she didn't even know I exis...

A.   6 May 2016: You are better just asking her straight out would she like to hang out next time she is home, following her to a place she has posted she is at, is borderline stalking and not a good way to go around things. If you want to get to know her, then talk ... (read in full...)

She’s annoyed that my parents won’t allow us to spend the night in the same bed! What should I say to her?

Q.   Hello, I've been seeing this girl for around 1 month and a half. We are both 19 and Last week i stayed over at hers and everything is fine and we stayed in her room in her bed. She is due to come over and stay at mine but she will be sleeping...

A.   5 May 2016: Tell her she should show respect for your parents, they are kind enough to allow her to come over and stay the night, if they don't want you to share a bedroom then that is their choice in their home. She sounds like a spoilt brat who is spitting ... (read in full...)

Am I missing the point, or is he being over dramatic?

Q.   Im not sure what I am asking, but I guess Im wondering if this is acceptable behaviour or not. When I asked my boyfriend today if he could do me a favour, he replied not right now. I said it needed to be done right away, and he just said he cou...

A.   5 May 2016: I think you are being over dramatic, what stopped you from getting up from your chair and just doing what you needed to do when you saw he was in the middle of playing a game? Fair enough asking him a favor if he is doing nothing but he was in the ... (read in full...)

Feeling shattered. Two days ago I saw my wife cheating with another man. What can I do?

Q.   I caught my wife having sex with another man. She says it was the first time she did this, but she did him with me just 30 feet away and right out in the open when i saw them. He says it was flirting that got out of hand. She says she don't...

A.   5 May 2016: There is nothing stopping you from leaving her. What is the point living your life in such misery? You choose to forgive her therefore yes she will think she can get away with having sex with other men. Time to leave, and look after yourself. If she ... (read in full...)

Should I reach out first or wait for her to call this time?

Q.   My question is: Should I continue to be the one who calls first after a fight or should I potentially let the relationship end? Now, for the background. I apologize, it's necessarily lengthy: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend ...

A.   5 May 2016: Have you ever sat back and thought about these arguments, how often do they happen? They are very unhealthy in the relationship, yes most couples have arguments but usually they can deal with them and move forward, you both don't seem to be able to ... (read in full...)

Why do I have this school girl type of crush?

Q.   I have a boyfriend but have a secret crush on a man that sometimes comes into my workplace.i also see him out and about regularly. It has been a bit of an obsession of mine for about six months now. I am literally crazy about this guy although I ...

A.   5 May 2016: Try and think about what it is you are obsessing over? Is it his looks? His personality? Try and think deep, then ask yourself are you really happy with your current boyfriend or is your mind trying to tell you otherwise. ... (read in full...)

Should I add her on Snapchat?

Q.   I would like to add this girl on snapchat but she doesn't know me. I went to middle school and high school with her (She's a college freshman and I'm a highschool senior). We didn't talk at all, and I'm pretty sure she didn't even know I exis...

A.   5 May 2016: Why do you want to add her? Why do you look at her twitter? Do you want to be friends? Meet her? Date her? I am unsure what you are wanting here. If you want to try and get to know her then yeah am sure you can add her and try talking to her. ... (read in full...)

His parents are egotistical and controlling! I'm in need of advice!

Q.   Ive been with my long term fiance and planning to marry soon. I know he cares about me and love me. But theres so much obstacle and problems in our relationship. His parent is egoist and narcisstic parent. They controlled their children eventho...

A.   5 May 2016: Why do you need to rely on your fiance for support financially can you not go out and get a job for yourself? A career where you make your own money and living? Look his family are what they are, they are close to their children and yet they are ... (read in full...)

How can I move on after the breakup, and stop being so competitive about him? How can I build my self esteem?

Q.   I dated a guy on and off for the past two years... but it never got serious because he never took the time to get over his ex. I know it was a mistake to continue to date him even casually, but I did because I have self esteem issues and I did...

A.   5 May 2016: Okay first off, delete all ways of contacting him, you have feelings for him therefore a friendship will never work. If you want closure then you need to end all contact with him so that you can heal. It is a long process but it can happen. You need ... (read in full...)

Should I reach out first or wait for her to call this time?

Q.   My question is: Should I continue to be the one who calls first after a fight or should I potentially let the relationship end? Now, for the background. I apologize, it's necessarily lengthy: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend ...

A.   5 May 2016: She could be playing games with you, she has not blocked you from social media, which means she knows that if she takes the picture down that you will see it. It is possible it is her way off getting your attention. I know it is hard and I do feel ... (read in full...)

Should I reach out first or wait for her to call this time?

Q.   My question is: Should I continue to be the one who calls first after a fight or should I potentially let the relationship end? Now, for the background. I apologize, it's necessarily lengthy: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend ...

A.   4 May 2016: It is normal to miss her, if you didn't miss her then it would not be worth all the agro, but the important thing here is you want to find out is she missing you, is she wanting to be with you as much as you her. That is why you need to see if she ... (read in full...)

Why does my mother always seem to favor my sister over me?

Q.   My mom treats my sister better than me and makes me share everything. We're 14 and 13 and about the same size so when we go clothes shopping she makes me go with what M (my sister) wants which is usually shapeless pastel t shirts or lacy dress on...

A.   4 May 2016: Okay sharing with your sister is a good thing, you need to learn that. It might feel to you like she is siding with your sister, but it sounds to me like she just wants the both of you to get along as friends and sisters. Maybe try a little harder ... (read in full...)

Money issues are driving a wedge between us. Am I being selfish or childish over this?

Q.   Hi there, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and we live together. Six months ago he quit his part-time cafe job so that he could focus all his energy on starting his programming career. While I know he is definitely looking for a jo...

A.   4 May 2016: I agree with Chigirl, you are not being childish, although you are paying his way and therefore enabling him to spend his money on weed and sit around playing video games. Who pays for the games? The electric? I can understand that he may be look... (read in full...)

Should I reach out first or wait for her to call this time?

Q.   My question is: Should I continue to be the one who calls first after a fight or should I potentially let the relationship end? Now, for the background. I apologize, it's necessarily lengthy: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend ...

A.   4 May 2016: No I don't think you should contact her this time. You need to learn not to go running to her all the time, and she needs to learn that you will not always keep running back. The reason she is being like this is because you are allowing her to treat ... (read in full...)

I miss him when I can’t see him and I like being around him, but do you think this might be too toxic?

Q.   I'm very much into this guy i've known for several months he is sober and in a 12 step program as I am and I guess that for me is me a bit of comfort. Having a similar background not having to explain myself to him I know he likes me but he also ...

A.   4 May 2016: I think that this might be a disaster waiting to happen, what exactly is it you want from him? A relationship? A partner? A friend? You need to ask yourself that first and then see is he willing to give you this. He says he is a sex addict and even ... (read in full...)

After our marathon 8 hour fight, what can I say to my LD guy?

Q.   Before knowing my current boyfriend (lets call him S) I went to a party and kissed a guy who was way older than me, I was 16 he was 20. It was nothing else apart from a kiss, caused by being tipsy and 'lovin the single life' so yeah.. In my opinion, ...

A.   3 May 2016: It sounds like your boyfriend is very insecure. This should not be an argument in a relationship at all. The thing is you are both young, and to add to that this relationship is long distance, that usually makes things a lot more difficult because ... (read in full...)

How can I relax and enjoy an orgasm after all the pressure I suffered in a previous relationship?

Q.   My ex and I both took ourselves way too seriously when having sex, and it was probably too soon for me to doing the things I was doing based on that immaturity level. Sex was always VERY serious, it wasn't fun or exploratory. He had an anger ...

A.   3 May 2016: It just takes time. You have been traumatized from your last relationship which is understandable, these things just take time to heal. When with a new partner just take your time and get to know them, explain to them what happened in the past and ... (read in full...)

Should I say anything to my sister? I don't want to appear judgemental

Q.   I have an older sister who I feel is making bad decisions but I don't know if it's my place to say anything. Growing up I admired her drive and work ethic but since she got with her child's father she has changed. They are no longer together...

A.   3 May 2016: I am afraid it will look like you are interfering if you say anything to her. Yes you are worried about her, but she is an adult and she is capable of making her own decisions. If you fear that your nephew is being neglected well then yes you should ... (read in full...)

He has a short temper. How can I handle him when he reacts this way?

Q.   I had fallen for a guy who is staying beside my home. He is a kind of short tempered person. But the time whenever he is getting angry he doesn't even know that what he is doing. Whenever his expectations are not meeting he is showing anger th...

A.   3 May 2016: The simple answer is you cannot handle him. This is who he is. He seemed okay to begin with because he hid it well, but now that you have both become closer he is slowly showing his real self. Now you can continue on like this and it will get wors... (read in full...)

He swears there's nothing romantic going on. Should I believe him?

Q.   Hi guys. I'm a single mom, I'm stuck in a rut. I've been seeing this guy for a year now. We've had some major ups and major downs. Lately though, it's just all downs. He's befriended a waitress at his local bar (he goes just about every day)...

A.   3 May 2016: I am sorry that you had to see it to believe it, I hope you don't give him a chance to talk you around. ... (read in full...)

I feel so ugly that I cry myself to sleep!

Q.   I need advice , I'm 21 and im getting married in 5 weeks and I feel so incredibly ugly. I have very low confidence to a stage where i can't get out of a car unless there is no one there and I cant seem to get rid of this feeling. I have never felt ...

A.   3 May 2016: Okay look it sounds like you could be suffering from depression so as Denizen says go and see your doctor and maybe contact a therapist. Secondly join slimming world, it is time to stop beating yourself up and start being positive, do something ... (read in full...)

Is this primarily a health issue for me, not ED, or is it because I am feeling as if my wife is less attractive?

Q.   for the past year or so ive noticed that my sex life has been getting worse. Embarrassingly enough i cant keep an erection for too long during sex. Its weird because i can get an erection no problem, maintain it no problem, get a blowjob and fini...

A.   3 May 2016: If you feel a bit over weight then it will do no harm eating healthy food and going to the gym. It might actually work well for you. You might be feeling anxious during sex in case it happens again and you lose your erection and that could be why ... (read in full...)

Am I being a fool or should I see him again?

Q.   I met this guy about 5 years ago. He was the sweetest. Well for the first time ever I felt myself being in love. He was the man of my dreams and even though I had a boyfriend and a kid, we still managed to hit it off. He was my secret lover for ...

A.   3 May 2016: I think the first thing that you should do is break up with your partner. I can understand why you want your child to grow up with both parents, but your child can still have two parents, you don't need to be together, you can still be good parents, ... (read in full...)

How soon is too soon to go on a trip together? I'm a virgin.

Q.   I've been seeing someone for 3 weeks, seven dates, and we speak daily. Our connection is amazing and we share everything. However one subject we haven't mentioned is sex. I went to his place once and we didn't do anything physical except kiss. Just ...

A.   3 May 2016: I say follow your heart. Yes it might be quite soon to go away with this man but you have to make your own choices in life. I could say yes it is to soon and don't go away with him, but I would be a hypocrite, because I took that chance once after a ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend sometimes blurts out something that just sounds wrong! What do I do in this situation?

Q.   Hello, Need some advice. My boyfriend is a really wonderful guy! My only issue is that sometimes he means to say one thing and it will come out wrong, especially with friends/acquaintances or when a little tipsy. For example, we were meeting ...

A.   29 April 2016: Okay so yes he speaks and then thinks, it can be a common problem in people. However people who know him, will know what he is really like and can just laugh it off. Talk to him about how you feel, but I don't think you will be able to change him. ... (read in full...)

Why doesn’t he want this other bus driver to know who the gifts are from?

Q.   dear cupid, I like this guy his a bus driver I know him about 3 years we talk a lot on the phone not every day but ever other day so on holidays I get him gifts but now he what’s me to get this other women gift she also a bus driver which she's ...

A.   29 April 2016: Maybe this bus driver is married and this other female driver knows his wife, therefore if you are giving her a gift then it does not make it look suspicious that he is getting one as well. ... (read in full...)

Can you change a player just a little?

Q.   I'm trying to decide if I should have sex with a guy who's a player. If i don't have sex he'll just ignore me. If I do, then I'll get ignored after...but I was thinking, even if I can't get him to commit, what if I got him to at least do nice things ...

A.   29 April 2016: Sweetie it sounds like you are willing for this guy to just use and abuse you. If he is a player then that is who he is, you are not going to change him, nor can you make him do nice things for you for a little while. Think about what it is you ... (read in full...)

I'm still having a tough time moving on from my previous relationship!

Q.   I posted something a couple of months ago about my now defunct seven year relationship with this woman that started out as as a FWB arrangement, but progressed into a relationship. My social life has been packed to to hilt with activities in or...

A.   11 April 2016: Yes it could be that she wants sex from you, but do not let her in again, as feelings will rise and you will only end up back at square one. The best thing for you to do is not respond to her and tell her that you have moved on from him. Don't give ... (read in full...)

I'm still having a tough time moving on from my previous relationship!

Q.   I posted something a couple of months ago about my now defunct seven year relationship with this woman that started out as as a FWB arrangement, but progressed into a relationship. My social life has been packed to to hilt with activities in or...

A.   8 April 2016: It's not odd behavior at all, it is the behavior of a woman who doesn't want you, but also who likes the attention from you. She doesn't want you to be with anyone else, but she also is just using you for her own benefit and to make herself feel ... (read in full...)

I'm still having a tough time moving on from my previous relationship!

Q.   I posted something a couple of months ago about my now defunct seven year relationship with this woman that started out as as a FWB arrangement, but progressed into a relationship. My social life has been packed to to hilt with activities in or...

A.   29 March 2016: Maybe you are just not ready to be out dating again. You still have feelings for your ex, and am sure all these other women you are comparing to her and making yourself feel even worse. I think you should be alone for a while and concentrate on ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has turned into a jerk since taking sick leave

Q.   Hey everyone! My boyfriend is currently in a difficult situation - he is 41, a barman, and has been off work on sick leave since last August. He had an operation on his back in January and his sick leave ends in the middle of April, so basically he ...

A.   29 March 2016: I think you need to take a step back, you are doing way to much for him, and it sounds like he is not even thankful. Yes I can see why it is tough on him, but he needs to stop taking his stress out on you. You have done nothing but support him. A ... (read in full...)

Feeling shattered. Two days ago I saw my wife cheating with another man. What can I do?

Q.   I caught my wife having sex with another man. She says it was the first time she did this, but she did him with me just 30 feet away and right out in the open when i saw them. He says it was flirting that got out of hand. She says she don't...

A.   17 December 2015: Leave her, explain to your daughter that mummy and daddy still love her but that they will be living separate. Also if she is addicted to painkillers then maybe she should not be left with your daughter, this is something to discuss with a social ... (read in full...)

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