A
female
age
30-35,
*ictoriaK
writes:I have this problem, my significant other always want blow jobs, or anal sex. I've done both before, but anal hurts me, and i dont like the taste when i give him a blow job. This is really making me sad because he told me that "I dont satisfy him". I really love him, so can some people help me about this. I dont want this to ruin our relationship. Whats something I can do to "spice things up" without making me uncomfortable??
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (12 September 2008):
 Guy sounds like an ass. I would leave him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): I agree with saltwater and irish; your SO is being honest with you in letting you know there's an issue he wants to talk about - but BOY, what a bad way to bring it up :-(. No cookie for him on this one.
Yes, anal is absolutely an optional activity. It's been said before, if the guy is being insistent, ask him to let you try it with him, first. Not to be nasty or spiteful, but both of you have butts, and the sensations are very much alike. It also gives him first-person info on what he HAS to do to make it comfortable for you, in all ways.
As for the oral - I'm interpreting this to mean, you don't like the taste of his semen. Fine enough; a nice blowjob followed by a wet handjob when he's ready to climax, and he finishes on your breasts. If he complains about that not being enough, then you can know he's being really selfish about it, especially if you've already had the talk about trying different foods (pineapples, etc) to sweeten him up and he's not willing to make the effort.
Ask him about other fantasies or activities he'd like - mild bondage, showing you off during a car ride, etc; I'll bet there are other things you can both enjoy, if you can both talk about what you each want.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): Saltwater is right on the money. (great advice!) Actually, I too, am shocked your bf would even tell you this. Wow! And here you are scrambling to find tips, ideas and the 'ultimate' solution to sexually satisfy this guy. What solutions has he offered? Is he helping with problem? Is he compassionate about your pain during anal, is he deeply and lovingly concerned about you? If he said what you stated in your posting (that you don't satisfy him) , I am guessing perhaps, he's not loving you in the same degree you care about him. When two really love each other in the most honest, caring, mutual way, lovemaking is supposed to be a satisfying experience for both people, isn't it.
So here you have a bf, who can shame you and pressure you into giving him something he wants, all the time, that just is not part of your 'sexually' natural state. He's seeking a way to get what 'he' desires because he won’t accept nor acknowledge what you like and dislike about sex. And acknowledging what you don't like, implies some big changes on his part, too. Is he up for that? If not, it seems you both may be incompatible in the sex department to a certain degree and I have a feeling his very words "you don't satisfy me' was his cruel taunting way of forcing you to do what only 'he' wants. That tells you a lot about his character and his lack of respect for you.. If you stay with your boyfriend, you will grow tired of his demands. Or he will tire of pressuring you to do something you will always not want. I hope someone else has better advise for you and I cannot help you with tips, on how 'you' can spice things up. Frankly, if this guy is this disrespectful and selfish' enough to state to you that "you don't satisfy him', I think you have to muster up some 'balls and accept that if anal and bj's are the only things that satisfy him, you two are a sexual mismatch. Your future with this man doesn't look bright and happy...sorry.
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A
male
reader, saltwater  +, writes (12 September 2008):
 Hi there
"I don't satisfy him"
Quite frankly that's a terrible thing to say to your partner, and it doesn't have the hallmark of a loving relationship.
I think your boyfriend is being unfair to say the least. If anal sex and blow jobs are the only thing that pleases him then you sure did draw the short straw. Most men consider anal sex as a luxury for a woman to want to receive...if she ever does! Oral sex is the same with all couples; both like to receive it; but neither want to give it.
Does he ever give oral sex to you? Sex is a two way thing where by you both try to please EACH OTHER. Is he pleasing you? If he isn't then tell him. See what his reaction is.
If he thinks it is solely you that should be satisfying him then leave him.
Sex is a two way pleasure highway...not one.
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