| Latest articles: How to spot trolls
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 December 2021: How to spot our regular troll(s) 1) Our troll loves to give their characters names. Most of our genuine posters don't do this. They refer to "my boyfriend" or "my mother" or "my best friend" but our troll talks about "Tarnya" or "Brooke" or "Lup...
Let go of your hate
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2016: A thought for the day (or for tomorrow since it's nearly midnight) Not too long ago I was in a play. In the final scene I had to stare at someone with complete contempt. I searched my soul and into that stare I poured every single bit of hatred I ...
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Does God notify all women that I am gay
Q. I asked a friend from school who I’ve know for many years about a lad who was really strange and asked what his name was, as I remember certain things. he didn’t seem to know if he was gay or not and he can’t think why he came to mine or what the ...
A. 21 November 2021: Thanks for the follow-up OP. Ruminating on the painful memories from the past is a nasty experience and also a futile one but it can be hard to shake. It's actually a form of OCD and can be helped somewhat with therapy. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural ... (read in full...)
My wife won't go topless at a nude brach
Q. my wife and I have been to nude beaches and she likes looking at nude men and I would like her to take herr top off but she refuses...I don't understand why...
A. 19 November 2021: Have you actually asked her why yourself? She's the only person who can tell you the reason? All we can do is speculate? ... (read in full...)
Does God notify all women that I am gay
Q. I asked a friend from school who I’ve know for many years about a lad who was really strange and asked what his name was, as I remember certain things. he didn’t seem to know if he was gay or not and he can’t think why he came to mine or what the ...
A. 19 November 2021: Try dating atheists then - God doesn't communicate much with athiest.
But seriously, why is this bothering you so much now? The experience you had with another guy happened when you were a teenager and you're now in your 30s. What has happened... (read in full...)
My wife's obsession over bills and no sex has lead me to having an affair
Q. I'm a 33 year old man who's been married for 5 years. I am writing in embarrassed but I caused the problem and don't know how to get out. I've been having an affair with a 24-year-old woman since September and this has all been because of my ...
A. 19 November 2021: But this is another post from our resident troll - except that the pet cavies have been replaced by a cat this time... Almost all the other hallmarks are there. ... (read in full...)
Has a man ever been turned off by a woman once he has gotten her naked?
Q. I am a 34 year old female looking to take things to the next level with my current boyfriend. I have been divorced for 18 months and was with my ex for almost ten years. Even though I was married, I am rather inexperienced. I have only ever had sex ...
A. 5 November 2021: My own experience is that most guys aren't really that bothered by bodies that are different to the stereotypical ideas of beauty. And your boyfriend already knows that you're larger than average so it's not going to be a complete shock.
I hav... (read in full...)
My husband is a paraplegic. I thought toys would be enough but they aren't
Q. My husband is a paraplegic. We have been married for almost two years. We only can use toys as sexual pleasure for me. I thought it would be enough and I would be okay with that I really am missing the real thing. He was upset at one time because he ...
A. 5 November 2021: This is a "specialist" question that requires "specialist" advice which I doubt you'll find on this site.
In the UK there are several charities that provide advice and support for those with spinal cord damage and their loved ones and I expect t... (read in full...)
How do I find an asexual community in the city that I live in?
Q. I consider myself asexual. I pretty much never had a sexual attraction towards another person. I never met another person who is asexual. I was wondering if there is anyway to find an asexual community where I live. How do I find an asexual ...
A. 5 November 2021: You go onto Google (or your search engine of choice) and search for "Asexual community" followed by the name of your city. If you live in a fairly small city be prepared to widen your search parameters to the nearest large city or your whole state. ... (read in full...)
Am I a narcissist or do these girls just really not like me.
Q. I just recently moved to college and I made some friends. We all live next-door to each other so it’s really hard to avoid them consistently which is why I’ve been trying to salvage our friendship over and over and over again. There’s three of them ...
A. 26 October 2021: @Wiseowl.... Where does the poster state that she is a gay man? ... (read in full...)
Why was it so hard to tell my mother the truth about how I wanted to be a girl my whole life ?
Q. I found myself interested in girl's clothes as far back as I can remember. I rarely went outside other then to go to school and even then, I was laughed at and made fun of. One day when I was about 14, my mother asked me if I was wearing ...
A. 1 October 2021: Maybe your question would be better off posted on a forum for transgendered people. It's not a question that non-transgendered people can really answer... ... (read in full...)
Our daughter took illegal testosterone and we don't know how to handle the situation
Q. Last night our daughter Sarah who's 17 told us she had a confession to make. We asked what it was and were expecting it to be something really serious or drugs. As it is, me and my husband are not that hard on drugs since we're not really squ...
A. 30 September 2021: Find your daughter a therapist that specialises in gender issues. ... (read in full...)
How many people would find it impossible to tolerate someone in their home being rude and obnoxious to them?
Q. My question is this: How many people would find it impossible to tolerate someone in their home being rude and obnoxious to them? I find I have a quick cut off point where I don't want to tolerate rude, obnoxious or threatening behaviour. I ...
A. 24 September 2021: I agree with HoneyPie. This post is too vague to give really succinct answers.
Who exactly are these people? Your family; your in-laws; your friends? Or are you living in a multi-occupancy house? Or does it happen with everybody who walks through ... (read in full...)
How does a first time father prepare for triplets?
Q. My wife is pregnant with triplets. We are prepared with all the stuff they will need like diapers, bottles, clothes, beds, etc, but I am not mentally prepared at all. Twins run in her family but I never thought we'd have triplets. Especially not t...
A. 13 September 2021: Congratulations. Check out MultiplesNZ which is a non-profit organisation supporting parents who have multiple births. I did try to copy and paste the link but no luck. Their website offers moral support as well as links to other organisations and ... (read in full...)
I am in a new relationship with a man who is uncircumcised and I have zero experience!
Q. I am in a new relationship with a man who is uncircumcised and I have zero experience. I’ve read up a lot, but most of the information out there is quite medical and is good to know…..but I need some “hands on” advice… I don’t want to disappoint or ...
A. 25 August 2021: I'm experienced with both circumcised and uncircumcised penises and there is very little difference.... except for guy it's attached to. As the other aunties have said, different guys like different things so talk to him. Some uncut guys like their ... (read in full...)
My mother-in-law has come out as a trans man but my husband can't seem to cope with it
Q. My husband told me on Wednesday he needs help but doesn't know how to get it for his problem. His mom has come out as a transman after knowing for 15 years but struggling with the issue, and my husband can't cope. He's started stress-eating to ...
A. 25 August 2021: There are charities and internet forums in the UK which which provide support for relatives of transgendered persons who are struggling with their loved ones plans to transition. I'm sure there will be something in Canada too. I think you and your ... (read in full...)
Relationships and incontinence
Q. Im doubley incontinence and have to wear nappies-diapers and plastic pants and have done so for a very long time. As i result ive had no relationship of any kind and get deeply depressed. Just wondering if anyone else went through the same problems...
A. 15 August 2021: I agree with YCBS. This is a"
"specialist subject" which needs a specialist forum like the British Continence Foundation. I'm sure you'll be able to post there even though you're not from the UK. Ask your GP if there's an Irish equivalent. ... (read in full...)
How do I explain how my boyfriend and I met?
Q. How do I tell my fiance's parents how we met without revealing our secret? I met my fiance at a concert and had sex with him in the bathroom. I know it was risky and stupid but I was young and wild at the time. I thought it was just going to be...
A. 29 July 2021: Just say that you first met at a concert but actually got to know each other properly later online. No need to go into any other details. ... (read in full...)
Is there any way around using our current landlord for a reference?
Q. Been living in a private rented accommodation for 2 years. We don’t want to stay where we are long term and looking to move but are not in any rush to get out. Our past landlord didn’t do anything in the house we rented from her and if we did find ...
A. 21 July 2021: Call the Citizens Advice Bureau and ask them for advice. This is the kind of question they get all the time.... (read in full...)
Why is my profession hated
Q. Thank you to all who respond. I know people are busy but the responses to thd questions I see here are really good. I am a high school spec ed teacher and as my students are high needs and could not do remote learning I was in person in my classroo...
A. 5 July 2021: I don't think the profession is hated. I know loads of teachers and they're lovely. I respect them very much.
But I do think that many people don't really understand the profession which leads to a lot of misconceptions. And these misconce... (read in full...)
Adult separation anxiety
Q. Hi, is there anyone here that suffers with separation anxiety from their partner/spouse? For the past 2 years I constantly worry Incase my husband dies and im left alone (we have no children and I don’t get in with my family and he has no f...
A. 25 June 2021: Hi,
I haven't had separation anxiety but I have had generalised anxiety which can be quite crippling sometimes. Medication never did very much for me either although I do take medication to help me sleep from time to time when it's at its worst. B... (read in full...)
It is normal to be horny during my period?
Q. Hi,i really feel so horny during my periods,is it normal...
A. 23 June 2021: Yes, this is common and normal. ... (read in full...)
I want to help my ill brother but I don't want to be a part of his life
Q. My brother and are not close to the point that we haven't talked in over 30 years. My parents and I are barely on speaking terms. I don't need my brother in my life and I don't want him in my life. My parents told me that my brother has canc...
A. 14 June 2021: Go for the test to see if you are compatible but tell the medical staff that you wish to remain anonymous even though the potential recipient is your brother. By law the medical professionals will need to adhere to your decision.
Then tell you... (read in full...)
Do I have symptoms of herpes?
Q. I went to the ER twice because i was having a burning sensation around what felt like my clitoris area. It was worse when i urinated,i had a frequent urge to urinate even when i didn't have to. I even didnt make it to the toilet once. Now im ...
A. 7 June 2021: This is an exact copy of a post from nearly 6 months ago.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/does-this-sound-like-herpes-symptoms.html
And I agree with HoneyPie. We can't diagnose you here. And the ER is not the right place to have it treated.... (read in full...)
My 17 year old song met up and had sex with a male prostitute. We don't know how to handle this
Q. My son, Carl, is 17, and told me a few days ago he had a confession; he'd slept with a male prostitute a year ago (in February), not long after his birthday. He admitted he'd paid the guy $250 (well, technically it was two payments of $125...
A. 14 May 2021: You should contact the police to discuss this. Just because the age of consent is 16 in your state does not mean that no crime has been committed. For example, the age of consent is 16 in the UK but it is still illegal for a sex worker to accept ... (read in full...)
My son's father has anger issues and its starting to show up in our son
Q. So my partner has a short temper and anger issues and I don’t know what I can do to help. He isn’t willing to help himself and try and change but whenever I offer help or advice it makes him worse and he snaps at me. We have a son and he is now 2...
A. 26 April 2021: Did you call your health visitor today as I originally suggested? Please could you post a follow up so we know how you're doing. And feel free to private message me on this site if you want additional support.
Take care. Love Ruby... (read in full...)
My son's father has anger issues and its starting to show up in our son
Q. So my partner has a short temper and anger issues and I don’t know what I can do to help. He isn’t willing to help himself and try and change but whenever I offer help or advice it makes him worse and he snaps at me. We have a son and he is now 2...
A. 23 April 2021: Yes. Call your health visitor tomorrow. Or Monday at the latest and explain to them what has been happening. They can help your boyfriend access anger management and parenting classes. Don't delay on this. This needs prompt attention. ... (read in full...)
My husband has been pan-handling
Q. I was told by a good friend this week they saw my husband panhandling and apparently he was begging for money outside a local supermarket and people giving him snacks and cash. I was surprised, I thought he'd just gone to the supermarket when...
A. 23 April 2021: You ask about your husbands mental health almost as an after thought. Have you heard of something called fugue?
Call your GP or family doctor and explain what's been going on - and ask if there's anything that can be done to get his mental h... (read in full...)
A policeman is harrassing my husband for intimate photos
Q. My husband told me he doesn't want to go out shopping as much, because a guy he used to know from high school is harassing him.... this was three weeks ago. The kicker? He's a cop now. Jason used to be in high school in Alberta with my husban...
A. 23 April 2021: If your husband continues to be harassed he should make a formal complaint.
You can complain to the independent police complaints commission or the Canadian equivalent - each state or territory has one. I can't send you the link for your area, as... (read in full...)
My husband took the kids and left me for his dominatrix lover
Q. I found out on Wednesday that my husband left me and took the kids to move in with his lover, who's 35 and a dominatrix. The note read "I've gone, aint not coming back because youre not the personn I fell in love with and Ive taken the kids j...
A. 22 April 2021: Why are the police investigating "slowly"? I mean, if your post is true (and you haven't left important information out of your post) this is a case of child ABDUCTION and the police should be investigating at a national/federal level. Did you tell ... (read in full...)
What will be the fallout/possible outcomes of my husband divorcing me for another woman?
Q. I've used some affair jargon in this post, and also, names have been changed. OW = other woman AP = affair partner BS = betrayed spouse HW = homewrecker STBXH = soon to be ex-husband WS = wayward spouse If you see these in this post, that ...
A. 22 April 2021: Well, it seems to be that you've got your priorities all wrong. You're busy musing over how your husband will cope in his new relationship and how you will manage a blended family rather than thinking of safe-guarding your own child by divorcing ... (read in full...)
I'm unsure what to do about a female stalking me. The cops won't do anything!
Q. I'm a delivery driver, and been doing the job for 14 years now, got it at the end of the last recession, but it's a stable job. I've got a problem which is causing me a lot of stress; a female nurse is stalking me, and the cops won't do a thing...
A. 10 April 2021: I doubt the veracity of this post - or you've omitted many details from your post.
What public domain do you think she used to get your details. You must have had a pretty long conversation with her in that public car park and at least given he... (read in full...)
Who still uses vaginal spermicide contraception?
Q. Who still uses vaginal spermicide contraception?...
A. 10 April 2021: Hardly anybody these days because it's so unreliable and there are so many better alternatives.
Why do you ask? Are you taking a survey?... (read in full...)
Husband's secret past is worrisome
Q. I've been married to my husband for 3 years now, and found some quite strange pictures of him online by accident; the photos were of him wearing a bikini and leather skirt, and him eating a doughnut. It was a rather old-fashioned website with loa...
A. 10 April 2021: I also wandered how you managed to stumble across this website.
You ask why your husband might do this.... there could be any number of reasons why someone chooses to cross-dress.
Some people are sexually aroused by it, some people are gende... (read in full...)
My dad's mental health and his get rich quick schemes
Q. My dad's become very, very into get-rich-quick schemes recently; for the past year he's been sending ideas to video game companies of a video game where it's basically men in their tighty-whities running around and taking over the White House from a ...
A. 10 April 2021: And I'm going to write a fantasy version too with a unicorn in it called Al - he Gores people to death........ (read in full...)
My dad's mental health and his get rich quick schemes
Q. My dad's become very, very into get-rich-quick schemes recently; for the past year he's been sending ideas to video game companies of a video game where it's basically men in their tighty-whities running around and taking over the White House from a ...
A. 10 April 2021: Nah - not Gold pants for assassinating Nixon - they'd be (im)peach(ed)........ (snorts even more)... (read in full...)
My dad's mental health and his get rich quick schemes
Q. My dad's become very, very into get-rich-quick schemes recently; for the past year he's been sending ideas to video game companies of a video game where it's basically men in their tighty-whities running around and taking over the White House from a ...
A. 10 April 2021: "I mean, would you really want to play a game where the main characters are men walking around in their tighty-whities and taking over the Oval Office or does that seem too ridiculous?"
Actually, the more I think about it, your dad's idea is prett... (read in full...)
How can my husband and I obtain common ground so we can adopt a child?
Q. Not really sure where else to discuss this. I've been married for 4 years and my husband and I both want children. Not our own, but adopting a child. I didn't want the medical issues that came with pregnancy (my mum told me that giving birth to...
A. 5 April 2021: It sounds like you need to do a hell of a lot more homework!
To adopt a child in the UK (whether domestically or from overseas) the whole process is overseen and approved by your local authority) Any agency you use MUST be a registered partner ... (read in full...)
I like to sleep naked. Is there any concerns I should have?
Q. I enjoy sleeping completely naked. Is there any concerns I should have? I keep my bedroom window covered up and I know not to near my front windows without putting clothes on. So there is no chances of my neighbors accidentally seeing me naked....
A. 8 January 2020: It's fine to sleep naked. The only other thing you might want to consider is what would happen if you had to leave the house quickly - such as a fire.
Just leave a robe near the bed so you can grab it if necessary so you don't have to run out into... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a woman calls a man "doll"
Q. Can someone help me understand the meaning of the world "doll"? I am not a native English speaker. My grammar is good but I have trouble understanding some slang. Maybe someone here can help me. When I was backpacking in Australia not long ago, I ...
A. 8 January 2020: It's the accent. I think they were saying "darl" rather than "doll". Short for "darling". Just like an American woman might call you "honey" and a British woman might call you "love" or "pet".... (read in full...)
Why do men want women to emulate their "fantasy" woman?
Q. Why are women so often told to try and see what their man likes inmpirn an emulate that . How can a woman possibly be Swedish, Asian , big breasted , small breasted , tall , petite , black , white or any of those other things that men so often seek ...
A. 8 July 2019: "I see time and time again people saying to women , see what he likes and give him that"
Do you really hear that time and time again? Where? I've never heard it.... and I'm a long-term singleton whose love-life has been positively disastro... (read in full...)
Why did a man I know take my hand to examine my rings?
Q. Why did a man I know take my hand to examine my rings? He just grabbed a hold of my last three fingers and slowly twisted my rings back and forth while examining them. Do you think this behavior is strange? Does it seem flirtatious? ...
A. 8 July 2019: Even further additional information from you please....
Question 1 - what were the circumstances of this incident? You say he is your doctor, so was this during a medical consultation? Or was it somewhere else - a party? church? grocery shopping... (read in full...)
There's a weird movie-like scenario playing in my head where I imagine my boyfriend and his ex pining for each other and wanting to get back together!
Q. My boyfriend (26) and I (22) have been together for ~9 months. This is my first ever relationship and, at this point, we're going pretty strong and live together. I feel more confident in my relationship that I ever have. Except for one thing. ...
A. 2 July 2018: The first poster is right - except that it's normally called RETROACTIVE jealousy rather than retrospective jealousy. And some people call it retrograde jealousy.
But whatever it's called - it is a form of OCD and usually requires speciali... (read in full...)
Has anyone completely moved and drastically cut everyone off because I want to do just that
Q. Has anyone felt this way in their thirties? I love in a major city in the east coast (US) and I want to so desperately leave my job my family my everything behind - I almost want to disappear and go missing - a lot of things in my life have turned ...
A. 23 May 2018: I think you're one of our regular posters (just an observation - not a criticism). And if I remember rightly, you are already in therapy so perhaps chat to them about it.
But let me explain a little about what your friend means. Moving house or... (read in full...)
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