A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My brother and are not close to the point that we haven't talked in over 30 years. My parents and I are barely on speaking terms. I don't need my brother in my life and I don't want him in my life. My parents told me that my brother has cancer and needs a bone marrow transplant. I want to be tested, and if I am a match, I will donate my bone marrow to him.My issue is how is the best way to do this without my brother or parents using this as an opportunity for my brother and I to rebuild our relationship? I don't want my brother to die but I also don't want him as a part of my life. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2021): Hi
Very sad and strange circumstances to find your self in after all these years. I agree with the others that if it can be anonymous, then try, if you feel that you want to, this is your choice.
I also believe that if somebody can't give with love, then it may fail anyway, may be best letting him have a good chance with other donors first and keep you as a last resort.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2021): You can simplify the whole ordeal by getting tested and request that the donor be kept anonymous. You first have to know whether you're a match, and that you don't have any form of infection that can be transmitted to the recipient. There is no guarantee you're a match.
If you feel so totally uninterested in any reconciliation or forgiveness, why bother at all? There will be other donors.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2021): Do it anonymously.
It's easy and quick, I mean the testing. Maybe you are not match at all.
Since you don't want anything to do with your brother or your parents, I hope they want pressure you, since they won't know you did the test, if it turns out to be negative.
If you are a match, I guess they won't care where the donation came from.
And btw, just because someone is your "blood", he or she doesn't deserve automatically to be cared for. It has to be earned.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 June 2021):
 I agree with Ruby.
Go get tested to see if you are a good match, and request anonymity.
You can do this for him and NOT have to talk to him ever. It's up to you.
If you are not a good match, that can happen too with siblings.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (14 June 2021):
Go for the test to see if you are compatible but tell the medical staff that you wish to remain anonymous even though the potential recipient is your brother. By law the medical professionals will need to adhere to your decision.
Then tell your parents that you have taken the test but sadly your bone marrow is incompatible (even if it actually is) and there's nothing more you can do so they might as well stop badgering you.
Then, if your marrow IS compatible with your brother you can donate it to him and he and your parents will never know it was you.
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