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Can a girl get back their virginity back?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2009) 11 Answers - (Newest, 27 October 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

can a girl get back their virgin after she stop having sex for 3 yr? i had sex my ex bf, and i about to marry with other man after 3 yr. can he know that i am not virgin?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks so much you are so sweet!!!!!!!!!1 hope you meet someone who is sweet and lovely..

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A male reader, RosesAreRed86 United States +, writes (26 October 2009):

Unfortunately no. By definition, your virginity can only be take once. It has nothing to do with the hymen membrane. Even if you were to get that surgically fixed (which I really wouldn't suggest) it wouldn't make you a virgin. It's like if you were once cut and had stitches to mend the wound, that doesn't mean that the cut never happened. Virginity is about never having shared that physical connection with anyone else, and (as I'm sure you recognize) it is more of an emotional milestone than a physical one.

With that being said, I really, really urge you to just be perfectly honest with your boyfriend and tell him the truth. Since you are between 22-25, I really think that your sexual past of just one other partner is absolutely, undoubtedly and positively nothing to be ashamed of, and if your boyfriend is at all reasonable he should be able to accept it.

In this day and age, of "Sluts and the City" when practically every girl is willing to give it up to any warm body capable of sweet talking them, you really are a virtual saint. If your boyfriend can't accept your one other partner, he really needs to get his head out of the sand and wake up to reality. Many girls your age have slept with 10-50 (I know, I have difficulty believing it myself sometimes) partners, most of whom just saw them as a warm place to stick it in.

I would trade my left arm to have a woman like you who preserved her sanctity for a select few worthy men. Tell him the truth, cause if he catches you in a lie, you'll be a lot worse off. And if he doesn't want you anymore, forget about him, cause I'm sure there are millions of other men out there (myself included) who would proudly take you as their wife.

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A female reader, Fiona xxx United Kingdom +, writes (13 March 2009):

Fiona xxx agony auntIn any case a guy can tell if you are a virgin or not by how you act when you are together. A virgin would be more tense when making out or foreplay because they are not used to the contact, whereas a non-virgin is more relaxed because they have experienced things before and are more used to it, even if it's a long time ago. A hymen can be broken without sex, so it's not just about that, I am sure guys can tell from how you are eg no longer so coy etc.

Fiona.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009):

No, once you have been penetrated, you are no longer a virgin. I'm sorry, but there is no way back. I suggest you being honest with your new partner. Starting a relationship with a lie is no good for anyone.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009):

Even if you get a hymen by surgery you would still be loose.A virgin is really tight.Its very obvious.

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A male reader, passionatelynumb United States +, writes (12 March 2009):

passionatelynumb agony auntUnfortunately, your virginity can be given away once and only once.

Personaly though, I would cherish the fact that my wife had only slept with one other person besides me.

Sure I'd be a little jealous, but it would be minor compared to what I deal with concerning my fiance.

No one saves their virginity for their spouses anymore. Its really depressing.

Being with only one other person is rather noble these days. Most girls your age usually have had sexual partners numbering in the double digits.

I wouldn't try to hide this from your fiance. Don't lie to him if he asks. It will be a lot easier to deal with now than after 10 years of marraige. If he marries you thinking you were a virgin and finds out later that you lied to him, he will definitely feel betrayed.

So its better to tell him now. If your future husband can't get over a single ex boyfriend then he is a fool.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009):

yes but it would be really false to do this. some plastic surgeons will... i woud not even think about it.

talk to him. its important. there are some other posts to look at what this can do later...

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/lied-about-virginity-12-years-agotrust-has-been.html

be honest its better...

Star.x.

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A male reader, SlackersACE1  United States +, writes (12 March 2009):

Virginity is more of an ideal than a body part. You can have it rebuilt surgicly, however it doesn't give you your first time back. Just be honest with him, you two ARE getting married after all.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009):

do you want to know if you can get it in your mind or between your legs?

It is possible to get it back by a short operation just a couple of days before making sex. but it is not possible to get it back in your mind. Because you can never forget the moment that you lose it...

TUNC

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A female reader, kaylagal United States +, writes (12 March 2009):

kaylagal agony auntYou can never get your virginity back. Don't enter the biggest union with a lie. Just be honest.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (12 March 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntNope you can't get it back and no he won't be able to tell for sure that you aren't a virgin because not all women bleed their first time.

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