A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend asked me if I ever wanted to try anal sex. I'm not interested in puttig anything up my hiney. Exit only please! He mentioned that one of the biggest and best orgasms he ever had was with an ex who fingered him in the anus during sex. I'm not too crazy about the idea but want to make him happy. Too, I feel almost that I am competing with his ex who gave him this incredible orgasm...(and yes i know LOTS of LUBE!!)I want to give him one even bigger and better, but i'm not comfortable with anal, giving or receiving **shivers**
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anal sex, his ex, orgasm Reply to this Question
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female
reader, missa +, writes (30 October 2008):
dude it really ant that bad i was the same way you were afraid to try different things but he finally convinced me and we did it wasnt that bad felt kinda good to just make sure your lubed pretty good and your legs are spread as far apart as possible it makes it feel better
A
female
reader, Aunty Em  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it just yet. Engage in conversation with him concerning the matter first. Let him know how you feel about this competing with his ex - which, isn't nice! I'm sure he'll understand and back off a bit.
Be creative. I'm sure you can give him a bigger and better orgasm in totally different place.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): Nice of him to make you feel like its some kind of competition. If only they did a certificate of achievement which really meant something, we'd all have done it by now. Thing is.... what happens if you do the dirty deed and its the most pathetic orgasm of all time. Where will you stop in your pursuit of mind blowing volcanic eruption orgasms. If it makes you feel bad be the bigger person and say no. There is pleasing someone and then there is compromising yourself. Which is it??
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A
female
reader, hello kitty +, writes (29 August 2008):
if it disturbs you that much say to him that your not comfortible with it and if he doesnt like it then you shoulnt like him and move on or maby if you want to give it a try them its best to first to try with a dildo .
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A
female
reader, epifanatical  +, writes (29 August 2008):
 you should try to loosen up sweetee.. anal stimulation for a guy is very pleasurable.. and its true.. men do have a male g-spot along the front wall of the anus adjacent to the prostrate gland.. if your only fear is mess and not pain.. i would suggest you get your guy to thouroughly douche beforehand.. and theres always the opportunity to wear gloves.. if on the other hand your fear is pain.. there are great desensitising creams avail at the chemist that will completely numb the area before any penetration (make sure he wears a condom! and use lots of lube.. always practice safe sex with anal).. either way.. anal sex is extremely satisying for both sexes.. also.. dont knock anything till you try it.. how do you know you hate it now? before youve had it?.. try it first and then decide.. even if it is only once.. who knows you just may like it.. between two healthy people that practice good hygiene and safe sex.. anal sex is no dirtier than sucking on a thumb or someones toes.. best of luck sweetee :)
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A
female
reader, abbeymom  +, writes (29 August 2008):
 Lazy guy has it right. I'd simple say you are willing to consider what turns him on and makes him happy as having a fullfilling sexual relationship and intimate relationship is based on telling each other yours thoughts, needs and wishes.However please refrain from saying your ex did this for you and that it doesn't make you feel good to hear it. It's like saying she gave you something you didn't and since each sexual partner we have is different (good or bad) in different ways. It's not fair to bring them into it.Now if you are feeling icky about using your finger and really not into it as you say. Both of you go to a sex shop and pick out a small finger vibrator. I know you're saying... a what? They make them for men and women and it helps to increase the sensation and pleasure for each. You can use it to reach his g-spot and BANG! He's happy, you are happy because you aren't sticking your finger there.Wish you luck!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (29 August 2008):
 Understandable that you feel a icky about it but it is often claimed that the male g-spot is in the anus.
If it works for him, then denying it to him is not exactly being an attentive lover. After all, he merely asked you if you wanted anal but doesn't seem to be pressuring you for it. Merely that you do it on him.
You can ask him to clean thoroughly beforehand and use later gloves.
But yes, the competition with his ex is a bit nasty, after all you only got his word for it, he can tell you she did anything and then you would want to be better. How would he feel if you told him about your ex with the 9incher?
The bedroom shouldn't be a competition with your partners past, but indulging your partners fantasy is all part of the give and take of two lovers.
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A
male
reader, Replacement +, writes (29 August 2008):
 It almost seems like he's trying to pit you against her, to make you feel competitive and jealous, hoping to push you into something you're uncomfortable with. Don't let him boss you around, if you do decide to experiment a bit, do it because you want to not because you want to beat his ex-girlfriend. There are other ways you can give him a great orgasm, and other ways to experiment in the sack. Find a way that you're comfortable with.
As for anal, If you're not comfortable with it, then don't do it.
But it's not really as bad as it sounds, you don't have to shove your whole hand up there or anything, just the tip of a finger will probably be enough. As long as he's clean and fresh, the 'ick' factor is pretty minimal.
You'll get huge bonus points with him for doing it, so long as you are enthusiastic and don't have an 'ew' look on your face. Maybe start just with touching the taint area (between his balls and his anus), and slowly work your way back (you can use your fingers or your mouth, but if you're uncomfortable with it, I suggest fingers). Stop as soon as you have reached your limit, as soon as you feel uncomfortable. Over time maybe you'll find your way to his butt.
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