I'm separated from my husband and he's asking me for help on a dating website!
Q. hi, i've been separated for 5 years and only just sorting out a divorce. My ex hubby has bi-polar, which makes him not always see situations as they are and causes him severe depression when he's on a low. He was in a relationship for the pas...
A. 19 August 2011: Try saying this.
"No." Works great.... (read in full...)
Am I wrong in thinking that my husband should have backed me up when I needed it?
Q. I am a nurse and about 10 months ago I was mildly assulted and bullied at work by another nurse with no witnesses. I wrote up this nurse and turned it in to my HR and to my nursing director. Nothing was ever done I was never supported they just bru...
A. 19 August 2011: I think you are being unreasonable expecting your husband to step into your work and berate someone for something he did not see. He can support YOU and your feelings regarding the matter, but show up at work?
He is not your Daddy or your Kni... (read in full...)
How can I convince my husband that having our child's toe removed is a good thing?
Q. We have agreed to wait 2 and a half more years or until we have reached our personal goals and can afford a child. It was only brought up because I had my mother look at our fiances and she told us we should be able to reach them much sooner if we ...
A. 19 August 2011: Wait. You do not even have a child yet and you KNOW this will absolutely happen?
Since you know that being judged for this anomoly caused you some trauma, focus on THAT and not the power trip of who is right and wrong regarding surgery for this... (read in full...)
I've found old messages my BFs ex had sent to him
Q. I found some old messages from my bfs ex to him (from before him and I even went out), and they were from my bf saying things like "you look so good naked", "can you wear that tiny thong again" and "i love waking up to you naked". I know it's in the ...
A. 18 August 2011: You kind of got what you deserved poking around where you did not belong.
For the record-it is not unusual or "special" that man says he likes to see his lady naked, sleep with her naked or wear something that turns him on. He probably told her... (read in full...)
Trouble with my in-laws!
Q. i met my husband 11 years ago after we both had very bad marriages,we first became best friends and soul mates,we still are.i had 3 children i brought to the picture and he has been a wonderful father to them ,the youngest one ,now in the army feels ...
A. 18 August 2011: DO not share anything more other than the most simple responses. Your Mother in Law is a bully.
How are the kids? Fine, thanks for asking.
How is your husband? Fine, thanks for asking.
How is work/the car/the home...fine, thanks for askin... (read in full...)
How do I fix this?
Q. My boyfriends family dont have that much money (well they didnt before but do now) and my family have been always been comfortable lets say. I am use to giving and receiving big gifts at birthdays. My boyfriend has a very good job and big savings so ...
A. 18 August 2011: You are not seeing it from his point of view. You did not listen to him. He asked you to put a limit on the monetary value of a gift.
This is not about his parents or him not appreciating the thought you put into the gift. You overlook... (read in full...)
Our friendship is heating-up but can we ride this tiger?
Q. A couple of years ago, I met this lovely woman from another country at a conference for a shared interest (in yet another country). We got on really well, and afterwards be-friended one another on Facebook, and stayed in touch irregularly, but with ...
A. 18 August 2011: You are old enough to understand...
"DO not play with fire, and you will not get burned"
You already both toyed with the idea of a possible affair. You admit you both acted innappropriate.
If your spouse was right next to your side at the... (read in full...)
Is he guarding his heart because of this miscommunication about a future with children?
Q. I just learned my boyfriend thinks I really don't want children. He really does want them (his eyes just light up when he imagines it!). I barely touched on the issue early in the relationship because I didn't want to freak him out about 'the ...
A. 18 August 2011: You are asking strangers to guess what is in your Bf's head.
You have only been together 9mos, while it is normal to think about bigger commitments with someone, is'nt it really a bit too soon to sort that out?
... (read in full...)
Before love comes into the picture, is dating basically just a way of women getting men to pay for sex?
Q. I want to get to the bottom of something... If there is no love involved (or before love comes into the picture), just sexual attraction, and the man pays for dinners or whatever, he is, underneath it all, paying for sex. Love is an additional re...
A. 18 August 2011: I have been treated out to a meal many,many times over the last 25 years and not ONCE did I ever feel that I was being paid in advance for sex.
There is no hidden agenda.
I am sure there are a few gold diggers out there that expect spoilage ... (read in full...)
Difficult marriage and now in-law problems on top of it!
Q. I have been married for last 14 years and have two kids. My marriage is just like a catastrophe. I have been a victim of abusive relationship throughout my married life. We have been arguing every other day for last 5 years at least. We are so fed ...
A. 18 August 2011: You are married to an american citizen and have two children from a 14 yr marriage.
If your husband has hurt you and continues to threaten to hurt you or the children, go to the police and get a lawyer.
Who CARES what the sister and broth... (read in full...)
I don't get hit on! Is it because I'm a redhead?
Q. Hi guy, just a question thats been troubling me for sometime now. I hardly get hit on by the opposite sex. I was wondering if its to do with the fact that im a redhead and have a lot of small freckles on my face and body?. After seeing comments...
A. 18 August 2011: I am 42 and a ginger/redhead, curvy, hot temper, etc...
Some men are not attracted to redheads, just like some are not attracted to (fill in the blank). It does not mean you are unattractive:)
I do get hit on and some men LOVVVVVVVVVVVE r... (read in full...)
Why do people think its okay to berate women who sleep with married men?
Q. I'm so fed up reading people taking the moral high ground on every topic, especially that of married cheats and 'home wreckers' There is so much contraversy surrounding cheating at the moment on this site and I would like to express my views as...
A. 18 August 2011: "I want somebody to reply and tell me exactly why and when a law was made stating that women who sleep with married men are wrong?"
In a nutshell. Because it is wrong in just about every culture, lawbook and religion on the planet.
Unless y... (read in full...)
I am virgin, but do not fit the description of most virgins.
Q. Hi, I'm 18 years old, male, and still a virgin. With my ex-gf of 2.5 years, all we did was have oral sex countless times, almost every time we hung out. We never had sex because she didn't want too for some reason. But this isn't the problem. The ...
A. 18 August 2011: Smile and say in a cheeky way.."Why did you need to know?"
Then brush it off.
If they pester again..."Well, you looked brighter to take the hint, guess you are not..." Then change the subject or walk away.... (read in full...)
He spent more money on his ex than he does with me, did he love her more?
Q. did my partner spend more money on his ex because he loved her more? He was with her for a short time but furnished her house and paid her rent, got her a car and paid for her boob job. With me, he is not like that. ...
A. 18 August 2011: Money is not a sign of love. He had different habits then, maybe he learned from them? After all, look HOW good that relationship turned out! ;)
What would you rather have? Rent? Car? Boobs? or Him?
He isnt trying to buy your affection or mai... (read in full...)
My BF seemed to forget my hospital appointment. Am I being over sensitive, or does he not really care?
Q. Dear all, Please can you tell me if I am over analyzing or reading into this. I have been with my BF for around coming up to six months now. I told him over the weekend, I have an important hospital appointment on tuesday. I saw him on the sunda...
A. 17 August 2011: He probably didnt have a clue it was that important to you.
He did apologize when he realized there was some significace to you. With that response, you need to cut him some slack and be comfortable with speaking up more about your future e... (read in full...)
Heartbroken father of three loves his wife with all his heart, but.....
Q. My wife sent extremely sexually suggestive photos of herself to a guy that she had a sexual relationship with just before we started dating. We had been together for nine years when she did this. It was a part of some extremely sexually suggestive ...
A. 17 August 2011: You have a right to feel distrustful and insecure! She did not earn your trust back. She did not show that your marriage meant more to her than flirting with this ex.
Her calling you jealous and distrustful is a psychological blame shift; p... (read in full...)
I cant get over the fact I'm not going to be her first kiss!
Q. I've never been kissed. My girlfriend has. We met in person, now long distance, it has been almost a year. She was kissed years ago, and it still makes her feel used to me. It hurts so bad, and I am so depressed. I've waited my whole life for h...
A. 17 August 2011: It is unrealistic to expect a girl of that age to have NEVER been kissed!
If that is what you really, absolutely expect in a relationship, then you need to get a wake up call. The past can not be undone.
If you TRULY love her, then look past t... (read in full...)
My Fiancé still in love with a dead woman...Do I, or don't I, leave him?
Q. My Fiancé is a generally wonderful guy; intelligent, sweet, loving and kind. He's a doctor and very passionate about his work. While he does lab research now, he did do many years with Doctors Without Borders (D.W.B.) and I know he saw some really ...
A. 17 August 2011: I work in the medical environment and from my experience Doctors make the worst patients.
You acknowledge that he is hurting and still haunted.
You also love him.
My suggestion is to postpone any wedding plans and take the talk of marriage... (read in full...)
How do I approach my supervisor and let him know I am interested whilst keeping everything private?
Q. He everyone I could really use some sound, constructive and useful advice, I would be much obliged. I work with this guy who is one of my supervisors, I like him a lot and he befriended me on FB. Anyway my question is I need to approach this ...
A. 17 August 2011: It is a really horrible idea to date a supervisior.
It is incredibly unprofessional and he could be blamed for favoritism if you get ANY sort of special treatment.
You could get an awesome review based on hard work, and suspicious cowor... (read in full...)
His ex won't leave us alone!
Q. I know this is long, but it covers the "high points" Please read... I am 23yrs old. I have been dating a man who is 39yrs old. We practically live together with his 2 sisters and his 2 kids. I gave this man everything I could, I sacrficed so mu...
A. 17 August 2011: You do not have a boyfriends ex problem. You have a BOYFREIND problem.
He is taking advantage of you and not respecting the relationship. He is not the only one with a choice here.
He also had a drinking problem! You are being codependant in t... (read in full...)
Her mom found me hiding in her closet and now the family doesn't like me! Help me make it right!
Q. my girlfriends parents, i WAS on good terms with her but with the past events with my gf, i think she really dislikes me. the reason: i went to my girlfriends house without her parents knowing,and i swear all we did was kiss on the lips and tal...
A. 17 August 2011: You may not be a bad kid, but you made a BAD choice.
You can not convince her parents of anything.
You see, she is still a kid in their eyes, a minor, and they get to make the rules as they continue raising her until adulthood.
YOU were an... (read in full...)
Am I over-analyzing/ over-stressing about my situation? Or is my restlessness justified?
Q. My boyfriend and I met in college where we were first friends and now have been dating for 4 years. I would love for him to propose to me sometime soon. However,I do not have a job and without the financial stability of two incomes (his and mine), ...
A. 17 August 2011: You are actually UNDER thinking this.
You are setting yourself up for failure in a relationship that means the world to you.
You are focused on the fantasy need of wanting the dream wedding and trying to make your circumstances fi... (read in full...)
How do I ask a girl out if I'm shy?
Q. ok so I have never asked a girl out before and I have dated around 10 girls since i was in middle school and until now that i recently graduated high school.. some relationships were not serious and we were just fooling around i have not dated a ...
A. 17 August 2011: You are just asking a girl to get to know you, spend time with you and enjoy your company. You are not proposing marriage! :)
Rejection is part of the dating game. It will help you grow thicker skin with practice.
Remember that when a girl... (read in full...)
How do I get over him?
Q. I spend 15 months with him. he was my world he was my first for so manything.. and he broke up with me. that ways a year ago.. i tried to forget i tried to move on ive dated other guys. but he has my heart i cant forget him the way he hugged me ...
A. 17 August 2011: Our first loves really never leave us, but we can move on without feeling a constant wound.
Very,very rarely is a first love, a forever love.
To move on, first realize that he was only meant to be in your life for a season. It was beautiful an... (read in full...)
Anyone have experience with anorgasmia?
Q. Hi I'm a twenty five year old male with a bit of a sexual problem. I am experiencing extreme problem with anorgasmia any time I am actually lucky enough to get with a girl. I have no problem getting erect and having penetrative sex but then after a ...
A. 17 August 2011: Well, I have experience the female version of it. VERY aggravating. In my case it was due to a combination of depression and anti depressants. One of the rare side effects was anorgasmia.
If you can, see a doctor, ideally a urologist that spe... (read in full...)
Not even been for our first date yet and he texts saying 'Love ya'. What does this mean?
Q. I'm going on a first date and the man I've been talking to and texting he texts me and out of the blue says love ya what does that mean ?...
A. 17 August 2011: Take it casually.
Keep in mind that texts are not true testimonials of one's feelings. Words are fleeting; actions show real intent.
... (read in full...)
His partner died 9 years ago, is it still healthy that he's grieving over him?
Q. Hi I am in a relationship with a guy for the last two years and we live together for the last 6 months, my partner had a partner who died 9 years ago and they were together for 18 years and were very happy My partner is very close with his partner...
A. 16 August 2011: Tears over the ex at this point does not sound like he is still grieving his loss...it sounds like he is honoring his memory. He loved him.
His death did not make him stop loving him.
Loving him, and reflecting on him with family and frien... (read in full...)
I am helping to support and care for my family but I feel like none of them care about me
Q. Hey guys forgive me for the long question but that's just how far the problems stretch. I have a family relationship problem going on. I am 31 yr old female and a first born in a family of 2 girls and 2 boys. My mother has raised us as single parent ...
A. 16 August 2011: I think you are right to be upset!
""Whenever I try to correct my siblings from doing something wrong like staying out till 2am, making noise etc, they sulk with me. Once one of my brothers told me I make noise at him because I pay his tuition ... (read in full...)
Does he want to come back?
Q. My husband cheated ...I forgave him not completely..I think he never forgave himself....but went back online and started a relationship on facebook with another woman...now he slowly trying to get back into my life...everyone hates what he did to me ...
A. 16 August 2011: Doesnt matter if he does or doesnt...
Why would YOU want HIM back? Run free like the wind and enjoy new possibilities!... (read in full...)
I don't know what I want to do with my life!
Q. I've been always trying to avoid to answer when someone asks me about my dream and what I wanna be because I've never been able to tell. I don't know what I want and what I wanna be. I'm 21 now with no goals. I'm not sure of my life. I'm studying ...
A. 16 August 2011: When I was at that stage of life, I concentrated on the basic courses and took at least one "exploring" course in a different field.
I learned more about what I did NOT want to do-which lead me to what I do now:)
Remember, the education is onl... (read in full...)
He had been drinking a lot but said he wants to marry me one day.....did he mean it?
Q. The other night my boyfriend was drinking a lot and we started a very in depth conversation about what is in store for our live and what we wanted out of it.... long story short he told me that he was going to marry me. That he wanted to marry me so ...
A. 16 August 2011: It may be the truth, but never take what a person says under the influence seriously.
Watch a persons actions if you want to know the truth behind mere words.... (read in full...)
She ended it saying she wasn't ready; should I wait or move on?
Q. Hey :) I'm in a bit of a pickle here and not reaching any decent conclusion on the matter, wondered if you had any advice. The story is this: I'm almost 18 and have been semi-courting a girl called (for the sake of using a name) Daisy for 5 months. ...
A. 16 August 2011: I think Daisy is making a beautiful and mature choice to say "I am not ready for this".
It is not that she does not like you-it is because she has more she wants to do than just what you have planned.
You are my SON's age and I would praise him... (read in full...)
She said she wants to "sleep with all the black guys at school", and now she's befriended my boyfriend!
Q. My bf (let's call him Mike) and I started dating 9 months ago. We met in college (freshmen year) and he "chased me for almost two months until i decided to finally go out with him. He's the star basketball player at our school and is black and ...
A. 16 August 2011: Never worry about the school slut.
Be focused. Is your bf the type that can be seduced by such a gal? Then he is not a prize. It is HIS integrity you want to care about.
... (read in full...)
Filled with regret for the way things ended with BF.
Q. I am filled with dread and regret after breaking up with my boyfriend of 9 months. I don't want it to end but it couldn't stay as it was. He was being cold, not returning my phone calls for days and then I found evidence that he was flirting wit...
A. 16 August 2011: It sounds like your guy was looking for the escape hatch and then blamed the deterioration of the arrangment on you.
You may not have meant to do it, but your actions showed his true nature and the result was probably the best thing for you!
... (read in full...)
Virgin wants to have an affair with a married man
Q. Okay. This is really crazy but I want to have an affair with a married man. He wants me, too. BUT, I am a virgin!!!! He has no idea. I have been putting it off because I am a virgin but it has come to the point where we can't hold off sex any ...
A. 16 August 2011: Not judgement free on this.
SO, you are going to allow yourself to be used by a married guy who will probably make you his dirty little secret.
You get to carry that memory the rest of your life that you participated in his unfaithfulness. ... (read in full...)
I fear that I may be wasting my time if my partner waits any longer to make commitment. HELP!
Q. I have been with my partner now for almost 3 years (on and off). About 6 months ago I left him for 3 months then gave the relationship another try, I did truly miss him and my heart did linger for him only. He is 38 years old and I am 24, I live ...
A. 16 August 2011: ""(No nagging, no complaining, no fighting, no thinking what if, and am I really meant to be with him) but the second I get back to work after that weekend and I am back at home. ""
The only person making you unhappy is you. Getting married ... (read in full...)
I think I got involved with a liar, maybe even worse
Q. In June of this year, I met a man on craigslist. I answered his ad, and now I am kicking myself. This person claims to live in another state, but posted in ad in the city where I live, hoping that the woman he found would eventually move to where he ...
A. 16 August 2011: Do I need to hand you a pair of running shoes?
WHY do you keep talking to this man????
RUN GIRL!!! RUN LIKE A TOKOYO CITIZEN FLEEING GODZILLA... (read in full...)
He says he can't give me more than what I am getting now. Do I leave?
Q. A man I have been seeing, has told me that he cant give me more than what im getting now, he said he is a selfish man and still wants to do things, he also brought up ex girlfriends saying they broke his heart and so on. What should I think about ...
A. 16 August 2011: There may be feelings on his part, but if a man is REALLY in deep love, he will move mountains to be with you.
He will do whatever it takes to be with you.
This guy can not, and will not do that.... (read in full...)
Is this guy a creeper or harmless?
Q. Ok here goes. I am a single woman with two teen daughters. One of my daughters is in a theater group. I help out a lot there. I run the lobby and give the parents their jobs. In the spring play I needed a 50/50 person and asked this very nice ...
A. 15 August 2011: This man was emotionally unstable from his first hello.
He needs a therapist! You sort of invited him in for a shoulder and he grabbed it. Now you are trying to remove him like lint off of velcro.
You need to realize that you have been waaaaa... (read in full...)
Why do I keep losing my erection?
Q. A few times now, I seem to lose my erection just before entering my girlfriend's vagina. Why is this? During foreplay it seems fine. After I lose my erection I can't get it up again. We use a missionary position. Why do I keep losing my erection ...
A. 15 August 2011: It is called performance anxiety.... (read in full...)
How can I get him to climax faster?
Q. I love my boyfriend very much and dont want to offend him but he takes a very long time to reach orgasm... can anyone give me advice on making him climaz quicker? thanks ...
A. 15 August 2011: Here I am thinking....why make it faster?
Maybe your bf is a marathon runner and not a sprinter!
Tell him you want him to come. Find out where his hot buttons are and push them. Does he drop hints about what would send him over the edge?... (read in full...)
He says he can't give me more than what I am getting now. Do I leave?
Q. A man I have been seeing, has told me that he cant give me more than what im getting now, he said he is a selfish man and still wants to do things, he also brought up ex girlfriends saying they broke his heart and so on. What should I think about ...
A. 15 August 2011: He told you what he was. Believe him. Expect nothing more.
If you want more-you will not find it with him.
Simple as that.... (read in full...)
| *edAthena's friends
These are mutual friends, so *edAthena has
added them and they have added *edAthena!
|
