I feel trapped. What should I do? I've had a threesome and my husband does not know.
Q. Hi i'm 32 year old wife and a mom with a kid of 3 years old . I'm feeling confused and trapped with a dilemma all because of my mistakes. Almost 3 months before I met a nice and good looking girls who's 23 years at the gym. We had the same gym ins...
A. 24 August 2011: You cheated. You gave yourself sexually to another person outside of your marriage. Male or female does not matter.
If your husband knows about this arrangment and you have an open relationship-fine. If you have kept this secret-of course i... (read in full...)
Why can't he stop seeing this woman? He still lives with me
Q. my husband told me he is having an affair and that he had to tell me. we are still living in the same house we are still making love from time to he says he dont want to have to choose he tell me thing that hurt me so much he say i can stay here...
A. 24 August 2011: You still live in the same house, but do you still share a room/bed?
Why are YOU still having sex with him?
You both attend church. Have you spoken in confidence with a trusted clergy member for advice/spiritual counsel?
Both of you sho... (read in full...)
What is the purpose of a prince albert piercing?
Q. What does a prince albert piercing feel like for women? What is it's purpose?...
A. 24 August 2011: Isnt this type of piercing for men?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Albert_(genital_piercing)
Genitial piercing in general is for looks, but I have heard it causes more sensitivity/better orgasms.
Since I work in a medical clinic;every e... (read in full...)
Wife doesn't want to leave me, but isn't 'in love' anymore. She's happier with her FWB.
Q. I'm a married man, and my wife has just said that she still loves me but is not in love with me. She says I'm a great father and husband and she doesn't want to hurt me. Then, she explained, she has a friend which has gotten into the "with benefi...
A. 24 August 2011: Wow, I am so sorry this is happening to you.
Your wife is playing mind games with you. She wants to have the comfort of a marriage and the comfort of a lover, but not in the same person.
She says she does not want to hurt you, but she obviousl... (read in full...)
My parents are headed for a divorce and I am afraid if we will financially survive. Advice?
Q. Hey everyone. This is not exactly a relationship question, more so a divorce question. My parents have been having problems for about 4 years. My dad has changed, doesn't treat her like he loves her, and has been borderline emotionally abus...
A. 24 August 2011: I am so impressed with your level of thought and compassion that you have for your Mother and sister.
Your family is very lucky to have you.
You can be an encouragement to your Mom and help your Mom find information where she can get financia... (read in full...)
Am I the only woman not threated by porn?
Q. I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question. Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and w...
A. 24 August 2011: I am not bothered by it and I do not feel threatened by it.
I accept porn as part of human sexuality. I do not necessarily want to watch Porn with my lover, as he prefers stuff that does not turn me on.
I see porn as sexual fast food. Quic... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby with my ex if I don't get married before 35. Is this wrong?
Q. A few years back I was with a guy, great looking who was very attracted to me. I didn't love him so one day I left him saying we should meet when we are both more mature in judgement.(as in HE) Ever since I was in destructive relationships and I en...
A. 24 August 2011: As a single Mom, I find that people do not judge me, but it is a LOT harder to raise a child without a team mate and a great male role model.
Many women have a baby to experience Motherhood if there are no prospects of marriage and family in the n... (read in full...)
He acts like he's interested in me but he hasn't finished with his girlfriend
Q. The other night i went a party and we were ment to be sleeping be there also, I knew people that were going but not that much and as soon as i got there a boy started flirting with me, he's lovely and gorgeous but the only thing is he has a ...
A. 24 August 2011: If he can have that conversation about his gf with you...
he could do the same thing to you.
He is looking for his back up plan if he decides to escape.
Some people leave a relationship mentally way before they leave physically.
He is... (read in full...)
Old flame and I can't keep hands off of each other but he's married!
Q. I dated my first real love in high school for 2 years and we were madly in love. Had names for our future kids and talked to our parents about marriage. We broke up cuz his parents didn't approve of me. He latergot another girl pregnant and ...
A. 24 August 2011: If he really were that great of a guy, he would not have a sketchy past history and he would not be cheating on his wife.
He came looking for you to meet his needs that were not being met by his wife.
Did he get married to be in a relationshi... (read in full...)
Do I play it safe or go for the guy where the sparks fly?
Q. I have been dating ineclusively for quite some time. In the last 6-7 months i've been dating two men. Two really amazing guys! Lately i feel like im ready to take my relationship to the next level and date only one guy exclusively and start a life ...
A. 24 August 2011: You weigh all the pros and cons and figure out which has the greatest long-lasting potential for happiness.
What would make you happiest over time? Who would be the best FIT for you?
Since you have kids-the person you commit to would be a part ... (read in full...)
Premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and a boring girlfriend
Q. Hi, I have recently been suffering from both PE and ED (the ED is suspected from low testosterone levels - only 20 years old - and the PE from anxiety etc., however, despite being prescribed cialis\viagra my girlfriend of a few months does not ...
A. 23 August 2011: You need to talk to her that you want to work TOGETHER on your sexuality and that includes trying oral on you.
Problem or no problem. If oral might help make things more pleasurable and possible for the two of you, talk to her that you want to ... (read in full...)
Can I believe him even though these sites tell a different story?
Q. Really upset, i thought id found the man of my dreams now ive discovered him on fu##book and various other dating sites which were logged onto 2 weeks ago, the thing is we have been here before and he told me they were old sites which he couldn't ...
A. 23 August 2011: People who have nothing to hide...hide nothing.
Of course you are invading his privacy if he has something he does not want you to see. Unless he is in government or some highly sensitive business deals that would compromise others private ... (read in full...)
Can I date several men at the same time?
Q. need help from females After several years with the same man it appears the relationship is not going to move forward in any way. Id like to know if its is normal for a woman to date several guys at one time and how do I go about doing this. ...
A. 23 August 2011: If you know the relationship is not going anywhere it is a lot like making an investment with no return.
Sit down with the man and tell him with no ultimatums what you want from the relationship and you do not feel that can be with him. Let him ... (read in full...)
He wants to work over seas...does he not see our relationship as a serious one?
Q. I feel so confused at the moment. I have basically been in a relationship with a lovely guy for the past 7 months. He is in the army, so it has been hard going but we have made it work. But now he is talking about being made redundant, which is ...
A. 23 August 2011: Worrying will get you no where. Sit down and talk with him.
You have been in this for 7mos, but has there been any serious discussion about your relationship?
Ask him how serious are his plans for moving overseas and if that means he expects... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is annoyed that I won't wear what he is telling me to
Q. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 26. For the past week or so he's been asking me to wear a bikini and halfshirt 24-7 and is getting angry that I won't do it. I told him no, it's inappropriate, but he thinks it'll be good for our relationship and it'...
A. 23 August 2011: Dressing up for your guy once in awhile is fine. Being TOLD what to wear all the time is an issue of control.
The fact that he gets angry is disturbing.
What is the reasoning that dressing up for him like that will make you appreciate HIM m... (read in full...)
Did he enjoy the sex or was I just another score?
Q. Hello! I got a friend that I gotten to know through work. We speak everyday and facebook casually. Well, people have been saying he likes me and even his best friend hinted to me. My responses are ''I don't think he does!'' The other day after 14 ...
A. 23 August 2011: You had sex. You did'nt develop a relationship prior to that, only a friendship.
You might have been another score-only time will tell if he continues to contact you casually or looks for more.
If you want to really find out what he thinks-y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend complains when I eat his food!!!
Q. Hi. Me and my bf have been togther almost 2 years and we are about to buy a house togther. He is fronting all of the deposit and paying for most of the fees (around £20,000). However, sometimes when I go round to see him and want to eat his food...
A. 23 August 2011: Since he is saving and budgeting his money-he gets to decide what to do with it. He is putting a lot into the deposit of a home, but chooses to keep is food budget tighter.
Just contribute more to the food budget with items or cash! Bring ov... (read in full...)
My ex kissed another girl. Should I forgive and forget?
Q. Hi guys, basically I have been seeing my now ex boyfriend for 8 months, he is the most caring loving honest person ever. I have trust issues due to my past and I accused my boyfriend almost everyday of cheating on me, fancying my friends and even ...
A. 23 August 2011: Well he was not your bf when he kissed another girl.
He told you because he wanted to be honest with you if you are going to give your relationship another chance.
He kissed another girl while drunk. I can see why it would bother you, but he ... (read in full...)
I want him to either realize that he loves me and be committed to me or I want him to leave me....
Q. I don't know how to explain my situation. I'm madly in love(for over a year now) with a younger guy. We've been best friends and all and our relationship developed from there. We have sex, we kiss, we talk on the phone endlessly, but he doesn't ...
A. 23 August 2011: Why would you want to be with someone who leaves you feeling so unsure, has a semi-casual relationship with you (are you friends with benefits?) and possibly questions his sexual orientation?
Why does he need to be the one to leave you? (When it... (read in full...)
He said I'm loose down there and now I'm really worried!
Q. Hey please help me... Ive recently lost my viginity (on holiday with my bf this week) and he is larger than normal. At first he said i was loose however i explained that i have been very experiemental in my past. however after 3 days of sex he...
A. 23 August 2011: Your bf is a ignorant jerk. Vaginas come in all shapes and sizes.
Nothing is wrong with you. If you broke your hymen during your first experience with him, yes you would be tighter that time.
Otherwise the only that is loose are the sc... (read in full...)
Premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and a boring girlfriend
Q. Hi, I have recently been suffering from both PE and ED (the ED is suspected from low testosterone levels - only 20 years old - and the PE from anxiety etc., however, despite being prescribed cialis\viagra my girlfriend of a few months does not ...
A. 23 August 2011: You might have a slight medicial problem and congrats to you for going to address the possibility...
But you also have a relationship problem because you are not sexual equals. She is inconsiderate of your pleasure and your sexual wellbein... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says I'm not loud enough during sex
Q. My boyfriend and I have really good sex but he still asks me if I'm enjoying it. I know it's good that he wants to make sure I feel good but it's his reasoning that gets me. He says he's not sure because I'm not loud enough. I moan like the whole ...
A. 23 August 2011: If you are not noisy-then it just is not going to happen.
Faking for his ego inflation and sexual elation is not about you having sex as a couple-it would be about him.
You could always tell him-"If you want me to scream your name in ecstasy,... (read in full...)
My step-daughter wants me as a mother and I'm petrified!!!!!
Q. Im terribly sorry everyone to write such a long post but am very very desperate for as many opinions on this as pos!!!! You see when i met my now husband he had a rocky-relationship with one of his daugthers (from his preveous relationship) a...
A. 23 August 2011: I think you might be punishing one daughter for the wrongdoings the other one did.
You might be scared of hurting again or being taken advantage of?
The daughter that is reaching out to you is asking for a second chance. Instead of meeti... (read in full...)
I want my b/f to buy a hamster for me. Is it wrong for me to ask?
Q. I'm poor. I don't have a cent to my name, and have been trying to get a job to have income for the past three months. I have a boyfriend and he always seems to have plenty of money. I am with him because i love him deeply (not for money... he never ...
A. 23 August 2011: Chigirl nailed the perfect answer.
If you do not have the means to care for the animal, then you are not ready for the hamster anyway.
Animals never make good gifts.
Bf's are not gift giving vending machines. If he gives you a gift, it shoul... (read in full...)
Will a guy still like you even if you don't want to have sex?
Q. Well I was reading someone's question on here about Teen Sex, my question is, will a guy still like you even if you don't want to have sex? I mean, I would love to find a guy that likes me for me and fall in love, but I don't want him to leave me ...
A. 22 August 2011: Depends on the guy.
Some guys will be focused on a mainly sexual relationship, some are emotionally focused. But, most guys are going to want to be sexual at some point in the relationship.
Stick to what is right for you. If a guy dismisses yo... (read in full...)
My FWB creeps me out during sex
Q. Hey! Okay, so I've been messing around with my Friends and Benefits for a couple a months now and he does this thing in bed that kind of creeps me out but at the same time romantic. Whenever we are having sex, he constantly stares into my eyes and ...
A. 22 August 2011: That is usually a sign of a more intimate connection.
Some couples in FWB's situations have rules like limited caresses, little or no kissing, no cuddling afterwards, etc. That just tends to create bonding feelings.
If it makes you uncomfortabl... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend have to tell me that he finds other women attractive?
Q. Can anyone explain why my boyfriend has to tell me when he see's an attractive girl? When we are out together he will say things like "She is an attractive girl", or sometimes he just continues to stare at a girl we are passing by. Please can ...
A. 22 August 2011: So Very Confused already beat me to my favorite bit of advice..my version is "Feel free to look at the menu, but dine at home!"
I would not get too annoyed with your guy appreciating beauty in someone else as long as he is appreciating it in you f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend jokes when I want to talk about our future
Q. My bf of 9 months and I live together, are serious, want to get married and have kids etc. He's 35 and I'm 28. Lately we've been having some financial difficulties. Lately when I mention our future he makes a joke, I said I didn't like that and he ...
A. 22 August 2011: You have not been with him long enough to talk about your future with him. He is joking to lighten the seriousness of the topic.
He was considerate of your feelings to not joke; this is good. That IS your reassurance that he cares for you and ... (read in full...)
Anyone understand the reasoning behind making high schoolers wake up so early?
Q. This really isn't a good dear cupid question but i have no where else to ask this. Does anyone know why they make high school students wake up so early as opposed to middle schoolers and elementary school students? In my school district, th...
A. 22 August 2011: Our school district has similiar schedules.
I know a few educators, so I asked them why this schedule was established.
In regards to High Schoolers, it is to prepare you for work life. Eventually, you will have to get up that early and plan o... (read in full...)
We constantly fight, are we not meant to be together?
Q. Lately, my girlfriend and I have been fighting so much, and I can't stand it anymore. It seems like all that we do is fight, and somehow it's always my fault, and I'm always the one who's getting left bruised by the argument (emotionally, not ...
A. 22 August 2011: All couples fight. HEALTHY couples fight FAIR.
You have a lot of negative behaviors going on in this relationship that are extrememly counter productive and immature.
You are defending yourself and giving up a huge part of yoru own santity so t... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish in expecting him to come away for weekends without his elderly mother?
Q. Hi there I could really use some advice here. I have just turned 40 with 2 grown up children. I was single up until 3 months ago when i met this nice man. To give a bit of his background, 3 years ago he split up with the mother of his child, at th...
A. 22 August 2011: After reading your follow up, I wish I could give you a big hug!
That is a tough decision to come to, but I nodded when I read "look for a man who has his own house, not his own bedroom lol".
I had to break up with a man for similiar reasons... (read in full...)
I really want a Mexican guy to marry but I don't know if I can!
Q. Every day on Dearcupid, there are multiple posts from students in love with their teachers, and now the tables have turned. I'm from Florida, and a TEFL teacher in Mexico, and I have feelings for a student. Before you freak out, it's NOT...
A. 22 August 2011: Dear,
I believe you have posted many times about being a teacher in Mexico and desiring a latino man.
Every time, it has been suggested that you have an unhealthy obsession and depression regarding Mexican/latino men.
This is the first... (read in full...)
Dating is taking a toll on me, but I am so lonely! Should I take a break?
Q. I am struggling at the moment and need some encouragement more than advice! I had a date over the weekend with a really great guy - we were very similar in lots of ways - maybe too similar if there is such a thing? Well, we have decided to be ...
A. 22 August 2011: I took a break from the dating scene because I was discouraged too. Then I learned that I was approaching dating with only ONE focus-to find a companion.
I changed my attitude to date to meet people and have social interaction; not necessar... (read in full...)
I want to try to be a vegetarian. Any advice?
Q. Hi. I'm considering becoming a vegetarian. There are many reasons behind this, but I need some advice. I'm an animal-lover and a bit of an environmentalist. I don't like our general lifestyle either. I know that people have always relied on meat a...
A. 22 August 2011: I would head to your local library and google websites on vegetarianism. You want to make sure you are getting proteins and minerals that you would be missing from a meatless diet.
Study what KIND of vegatarian you feel is best for you.
Wi... (read in full...)
Do normal women find doggy style demeaning?
Q. The doggy style position makes me feel like I am losing my feminity and also lack of contact/caressing with my lover during sex. Is it normal for women to feel like this or is it just me?...
A. 22 August 2011: I have spoken to many women over the years about positions. Some women LOVE doggy style, some hate it, and some just put up with it because they do like pleasing their lover.
Your choice is normal for you:) You do not feel comfortable, intimate... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that my 26 year old BF now says he is "too young" for marriage?
Q. What can a man do when he is in a committed relationship that he cannot do once he gets engaged? I ask because my boyfriend of several years (who I live with) told me last week that he was too young for a marriage committment at 26 when we were tal...
A. 20 August 2011: He is'nt ready.
Think of a mountain climber. Think of different plateaus of a mountain as stages of a relationship.
Right now, you see the summit and you are ready to go there and claim that top of the mountain! You have your flag in han... (read in full...)
I left my lover to return to my wife. my lover just wants to be friends now. nothing more
Q. I am a married man with 2 wonderfull children but I just don't love my wife anymore. For this reason I have has a lover for the past year. That is until recently... I left my wife for my lover briefly, but I missed my kids and couldn't handle b...
A. 20 August 2011: How to get her back?
Become a single man! You just can not have all the benefits without some sacrifice on your part.
Going back to your wife may have jolted her away that she did not want to be the other woman.
Stay out of her life ... (read in full...)
Did I say the wrong thing and break this up? Or is his reaction the problem?
Q. i met this guy on plenty of fish coming up to a year in september we havent met yet but we do talk all the time via txt or phone, We have been meaning to meet but for various reasons, different jobs and place we live, it never seem to happen, ...
A. 20 August 2011: Maybe you have been wasting your time in a deadend situation.
It is not really a relationship, but more of an arrangement that you two have on the phone and via texts.
Nothing has moved forward in almost a year of knowing him?
Sure you... (read in full...)
I thought I was pregnant and needed some empathy from DC but I didn't get it!
Q. Dear cupid, you have done an excellent job and I am happy to be connected to this page. However, when I enquired if I could be pregnant(anonymous, 30 yo, fingered,?preganant),I needed an answer with some empathy. Your response was correct but ...
A. 20 August 2011: I believe the advice and response I gave was the same as anyone elses-in a nutshell. See a Doctor.
A 30+ yo woman should know that. It is a simple, non-sugar coated truth. As you said in your own post...
"...seems I just can't handle any c... (read in full...)
I thought I was pregnant and needed some empathy from DC but I didn't get it!
Q. Dear cupid, you have done an excellent job and I am happy to be connected to this page. However, when I enquired if I could be pregnant(anonymous, 30 yo, fingered,?preganant),I needed an answer with some empathy. Your response was correct but ...
A. 19 August 2011: Strangers can not meet all your needs and preferences.
I do not recall your original post and since you did not have a link to it, we can not refer back to where you feel others were insenstive or unkind.
Sometimes a direct answer is best. ... (read in full...)
I'm separated from my husband and he's asking me for help on a dating website!
Q. hi, i've been separated for 5 years and only just sorting out a divorce. My ex hubby has bi-polar, which makes him not always see situations as they are and causes him severe depression when he's on a low. He was in a relationship for the pas...
A. 19 August 2011: Try saying this.
"No." Works great.... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish in expecting him to come away for weekends without his elderly mother?
Q. Hi there I could really use some advice here. I have just turned 40 with 2 grown up children. I was single up until 3 months ago when i met this nice man. To give a bit of his background, 3 years ago he split up with the mother of his child, at th...
A. 11 August 2011: My first response. EW. NO!
No, you are not being selfish. If he is concerned about her care while he out of town, suggest he has another adult come check on her or hire a temp. care person to assist her.
Do not expect to go to the Holiday Home... (read in full...)
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