A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Yo so I got a question. My girl broke up with me last week because she says our relationship wasnt movin forward. I asked what that meant, I asked if it meant she wanted me to propose marriage. She said no, she didnt mean that, it was just that the relationship just wasnt moving forward. She said she couldnt explain it.Can anybody here help me? What does it mean when a relationship "isn't moving forward"? where is it supposed to go????
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (4 August 2011):
 I am wondering if she was having a hard time describing something she felt SHOULD be there emotionally.
Maybe she did not feel that DEEP, emotional, "thing" that she felt she SHOULD be feeling at that stage in your relationship.
She probably did not see a future with you in it.
Moving forward could be substituted for "something more".
She wanted more and did not see it coming..it did not have to be marriage...but what ever it was, it was not going to be with you.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 'we're not moving forward' 'its not you, its me' 'we just want different things' 'it's not what it looks like!' 'the cheque is in the post'
these are the bog standard answers to the difficult questions we sometimes face.
as long as you know that you are not acting like a teenager who refuses to grow up then you have nothing to worry about. she says she does not want to marry you/live together so what else could you have done to 'move forward'?? - makes me think her reason is an excuse, you just weren't right for her, but you will be for someone
x
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (4 August 2011):
 I think it is just excuses to end a relationship. Similar to "my partner wasn't going anywhere." or "I'm confused." She can't define it probably because there isn't anything to define. Sadly this is over now because she doesn't want marriage or proposals.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 So her solution to that is stop moving at all? As if breaking up will make you realize what to do?
You have to let her know that it takes two to make a relationship work. Although you are in love you are not a mind reader. Perhaps she is scared, feels vulnerable, perhaps she feels you are only seeing her for sex. I think without saying every girl would expect a guy to mention marriage even if she hasn't initiated that topic. She wants to feel like a princess that any man would dream to marry.
Even though she said she didn't mean marriage in her heart she is crying out, "why hasn't he proposed yet, or at least talked about living together?" That really depends on how long you have been dating. If it's over three years and you haven't said anything, then it's understandable why she is upset.
What you do now is express if you have intentions of marrying her, what helps you to move forward with her, then just leave it to her and give her some space. After everything calmed down let her know even though the break up shouldn't have happened, you are still hurt, and in the future there needs to be a better way to communicate.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): Yo hi Im the OP. thanks both of you. Annalisa I guess maybe we didnt talk about the future enough but that was because we were still in the middle of dating and stuff. I asked her if she wanted me to marry her and she said no it wasnt about that. I mean we was still getting to know each other, I guess not fast enough?eyeswideopen: damn you think so?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 August 2011):
 It sounds like it went out the window. She just wanted out and came up with that excuse.
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A
female
reader, catcher00 +, writes (4 August 2011):
It depends. It could mean any one of several things. Maybe she has noticed that you haven't taken it to the next stage in a bunch of different ways-- moving in, introducing her to your friends and family, spending more time w/ her, treating her as the next-level of gf. . . like if you're still treating her or regarding her in the same way you did when you guys had just started dating... she may have expected a promotion by now. Guys are funny about time when it comes to relationships. They feel like there are different milestones, like they regard a girl as being more important if they've been with her for a while. She moves up on their list of priorities... this is probably what she meant. Sorry I can't be specific, but we really don't know anything about your relationship.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (4 August 2011):
She probably didn't see a future. She didn't necessarily want to be proposed to, but she did want to see that she could end up with you. Where is your life going? You got a good job and career? How is your financial situation?It could have seemed like a deadend relationship - in that it was fun when it started out, and maybe she saw a future at the time, but things didn't progress. She probably looked around at other people in her life and realised hers wasn't going in the direction she wanted it to.Remember that women are more time-aware than men, because biologically many need to have children before they are too old and risk complications. It looks like you didn't show her that you also want to "move foward" in your life?
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