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This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2009: Continuing the Harry Potter update thought I'd let you know I had a first date tonight with my bus girl. It went really well and she sent me a text saying as much too. Catch is, I look so much younger than I actually am she was pretty shocked w...
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How do I get a vibrator
Q. ive just turned 14. ive been masturbating for about a year and havent found my g-spot. i use the handle of a hairbrush, my fingers so massage my clit and the shower head. its fun and enjoyable but thats all. i cant seem to find my own way of doing ...
A. 3 November 2007: Apologies if I'm out of line here but isn't this question more than a little suspect? If not then I agree with previous advice (maybe overly cynical/cautious.)... (read in full...)
How do I get a vibrator
Q. ive just turned 14. ive been masturbating for about a year and havent found my g-spot. i use the handle of a hairbrush, my fingers so massage my clit and the shower head. its fun and enjoyable but thats all. i cant seem to find my own way of doing ...
A. 3 November 2007: Apologiesy if I'm out of line here but isn't this question more than a little suspect? If not then I agree with previous advice (maybe overly cynical/cautious.)... (read in full...)
Not so much a question I suppose - more of a cry from the heart - even doing the right thing can hurt like hell.
Q. Does knowing the answer help the heartache? In short, I'm married, she's married, both have kids and work together. Recently we told each other how we felt - head over heels in love - and have been meeting after work or at lunchtime - purely to talk ...
A. 3 November 2007: an update. I've left my wife and you know what? It's the best decision I've ever made. I realise now that the other woman was not the issue as we still will never be together- that was very much a distraction from the issues in my marriage which was ... (read in full...)
My hubbie is controlling, we have a 4 yr old daughter, if I leave it will be all my fault , or so he says, help me!
Q. I have been married for 7 years now and I must say my life with him has been a roller coaster. I have never really felt "in Love" with him.(this I think was because of my age when we got together and the fact that I was very insecure) Sex is awful...
A. 3 November 2007: I'd just want to say that I've just left my wife for similar reasons. For me, no matter what a so called 'good wife' she wanted to be, somehow, something was missing. Since I've left, I know It's been the right thing to do and, despite the hurt, and ... (read in full...)
I cheated with his brother, how can we sort this one out.
Q. I have a boyfriend and we are having problems near enough all the time, we have been together for a year. He hasnt got alot of trust for me as 2 weeks into our releationship i cheated on him with his brother ever since when we argue he says things ...
A. 3 November 2007: In short, I'm afraid It's unlikely you can sort it out. Messing with family is never a good idea- having a brother I know I couldn't go with someone he's been with- I reckon your b/f feels the same. I suggest, and I know it will prob hurt, you move ... (read in full...)
After Years Of Cheating, I'm Undecided On How To React
Q. Hey everyone, I'm a 24 year old girl and I have just split with my boyfriend of 3 years after I found out he had been seeing a girl for sex over the whole of out relationships, about 5 times in all. I've suspected as much the whole time...
A. 3 November 2007: ok I know that this may sound harsh but it sounds very much like this guy is using you I'm afraid despite what he's saying. It's gonna hurt but in my opinion You've gotta move on - especially given that he's been violent. No relationship is worth ... (read in full...)
My friend started self-harming. How do I help her without losing her as a friend?
Q. im 14. i self harmed with a razor about a year ago and then found out that a friend had been doing it as well. people said we did it together for attention...but it wasn't true!! for months we suffered from the bullying and teasing because of it ...
A. 3 November 2007: First thing's first- I've been there too and my daughter is going through something similar. There's one thing above all - you and your friend are SPECIAL AND BEAUTIFUL- don't ever forget it. You need to speak to someone- maybe your parents but I ... (read in full...)
We split 10 weeks ago now and we managed to stay friends but suddenly she has backed off. Why would she be avoiding me now?
Q. My ex broke up with me about 10.5 weeks ago now. I've been going out on dates, getting attention from other chicks, and feeling better as of late. It's been 3 weeks since I last talked to her, which is the longest stretch since we've met. I dec...
A. 1 September 2007: My ex kept contacting me after we broke up. she wanted to be friends, I wanted to get back with her. I could only move on properly by completely cutting off contact. Maybe that's how she feels? ... (read in full...)
Is it true the longer you wait to have sex the harder it gets ??
Q. Hey I am 16 and I am still a virgin I feel worried that I will never find anyone to have sex with because all my friends have boyfriends and are having sex and saying how good it is. I am afraid that the longer I wait the harder it will get. Is it ...
A. 1 September 2007: It took me until age 21! No, it's not harder, what is difficult is knowing that your friends are doing it and you're not. It will happen some day- and it's worth waiting for if it's someone you REALLY care for. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends giving me the cold shoulder and i dont know why???
Q. Hi folks my girlfriend came home from classes today kinda distant (or so it seemed) When I asked her about it, she didnt respond until later, phoning me to give me some cold shoulder sandwich. I overreacted, said how i didnt deserve that ou...
A. 30 August 2007: Man, if I had a penny for everytime I got the cold shoulder... despite the blatantly twisted and sexist comments of the first respondent, I must agree that you shouldn't assume it's anything to do with you dude. Maybe she just had a bad day. if you ... (read in full...)
I do have a loving passion with my boyfriend, but I have never felt this so sexually charged for a person in my life.
Q. I am in my 20's. I'm in a serious relationship with my boyfriend who I love an undescribable amount. However, when we were having problems, we broke up for a month. In this time, I dated a male friend. We stopped dating because I knew he...
A. 30 August 2007: In a word- yeah. Sounds to me like your bf (ex?) ain't so serious anyway- you're young- enjoy while you can! ... (read in full...)
I've never felt so deeply in love before, I'm going crazy faking the smiles and hiding the tears...
Q. Hi, I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 years now and I love him to death but the initial butterflies are gone and it's deeper, he's more like a family member. His friend and I became really good friends over the past 5 years too and I can't figure ...
A. 30 August 2007: If you look at the question I've raised before, you'll see I'm in a similar impossible situation. I feel for you. I have no answer but you're not alone! My gut reaction is to follow your heart but that can lead to loss of both the people you love ... (read in full...)
If you like someone but are unsure how the land lies how do you pursue them without being too obvious?
Q. A question for all the guys and gals out there....if you like someone but are unsure how the land lies...how do you pursue them without being too obvious??? AAaggghhrrr..for almost a year now I've been good mates with a male colleague. We em...
A. 30 August 2007: I can relate completely to this. In a similar situation myself. If you two are not involved with someone else, what the hell, arrange to meet after work,or at lunchtime- sounds to me like you're both just waiting for the other to make a move! In ... (read in full...)
I want to be casual with my ex but she's made it clear that would hurt her. How can I deal with this???
Q. hey, ive recently become mates which my ex girlfriend, after a year and half relationship there were plenty of arguments after, but it is all good now. The problem i'm having is I feel like I'm having sexual attractions over her which in one half I ...
A. 30 August 2007: I feel compelled to answer this as a bloke due to the previous answers! Yeah it's tempting to have just the physical with an ex - problem is that one of you will probably want or need more. Best not go there dude- It'll probably end in tears - maybe ... (read in full...)
We have an age gap and his children dont approve. What to do???
Q. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 51 with two teenage boys. This past weekend we both had said to eachother that we are 'forever'. Well last night his sons had sat him down and expressed how they do not approve of the age gap. Now for him and myself, we ...
A. 30 August 2007: I reckon it's down to your partner to deal with his kids. In my opinion, the age gap doesn't matter. Then again I can see why his kids have concerns. really do think it's not down to you tho' - you can't help who you fall for! If you mean a lot to ... (read in full...)
He's a major flirt! It's very frustrating!
Q. What to do? Should I ask him to leave? We've been married for nearly twenty years and have two doting children. But you can bet that almost every holiday we have ends up in frustration and near separation, because of his prolonged eye-contact with a ...
A. 30 August 2007: As a bloke, first off, I can't honestly condone his behaviour as it's something I'd never do- especially when I'm with my wife! I can understand how it can hurt but sometimes lust is just that with guys and it doesn't translate to love. Sounds ... (read in full...)
I'm worried i could be pregnant! Is my mind giving me the symptoms???
Q. I don’t know if I am pregnant or my mind is playing with me. I had sex on August 19 (unprotected), my ovulation days were August 20, 21, 22 and 23. I started felling weird last week, cramps, my breast hurt and this week not only they hurt but they ...
A. 30 August 2007: From experience, with an ex, yes, stress can cause missing periods. The only way to tell for certain is by testing tho'. hope it works out for you. ... (read in full...)
I like this guy, but I dont know if he likes me!....
Q. Hiya :) ermm if u can give me anyyyyy advice i'd reallllly appreciate it because i'm really conufused and i don't know what to do :( well i'm 17 i really like this lad who's 18 :) i've known him along time, bout 6 years actually :) we've both al...
A. 29 August 2007: Hey there- yeah, know what that's like! There's really only two ways to go here and you sound sensible enough to know what they are! either you tell him how you feel and risk it or you don't and will never know. maybe it's cos I'm older but I'd go ... (read in full...)
Is it worth continuing to talk to her or should I just give up and move on?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for almost 3 years and she never introduce me to her parents. I kept asking her when and she keeps saying not now and making excuses and such. Early this year we broke up for no apparent reason. She was ...
A. 29 August 2007: this may sound harsh and it will probably hurt but I reckon you gotta move on dude. One of my ex gfs continued to contact me after we split- didn't do either of us any good. sounds like she's not interested anymore- it's hard, I know, but you ... (read in full...)
My wife has lost her dad and I want to help her. Anyone know how I go about this in the right way?
Q. Hi everyone, i was advised to come on this site by a friend who said you lot where very good so hope you can help me out here. Well my wife has recently lost her dad to a liver failure, this has hit her and her fmaily very hard, infact its even made...
A. 29 August 2007: just a couple of thoughts on this-first of all, as it seems you've experienced, everyone deals with grief in their own way and in their own time . my mum took days to cry when her parents died, my uncle slept for a week when his brother passed. Just ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and I want to have anal sex with my girlfriend.
Q. I'm 19 and I want to have anal sex with my girlfriend. We have done it before and she liked it but now she won't. It is my favorite by far and I really really like doing it. Like 1 or 2 times a month would be great but she just says I'm sorry. I ...
A. 22 August 2007: If you're a couple, you should only be doing things you both wanna do. If you keep asking her to do something she doesn't want to, you risk her putting up barriers and not wanting to have sex. Worse, you'll make her feel inadequate. yeah, anal can ... (read in full...)
Not so much a question I suppose - more of a cry from the heart - even doing the right thing can hurt like hell.
Q. Does knowing the answer help the heartache? In short, I'm married, she's married, both have kids and work together. Recently we told each other how we felt - head over heels in love - and have been meeting after work or at lunchtime - purely to talk ...
A. 22 August 2007: Well thanks for the comments people! To the angry people, yes, I know it's wrong. Since we got married, I have never even considered anyone other than my wife and have similar views to you about people who cheat. I've never let myself get even close ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend needs to last a bit longer
Q. Someone please help me out. I have been on here before with somewhat of the same question. I have told my boyfriend that I aint satisfied with sex. He dont last long he last maybe less then a mintue sometiems a minute at most. I hate it I just dont ...
A. 31 July 2007: there are lots of techniques and aids which can help prolong your guys performance - a web search will have lots of suggestions. try lots of things - you'll have fun! ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't get rid of his porn collection. Should I find someone else?
Q. Another porn question. My boyfriend of 16 months has thousand of porn pics/clips. He says that it was from the years he was single, however all the material he has makes me wonder how long everyday he would look at it and get off to it. When we ...
A. 31 July 2007: it's a classic question where the basic differences between men and women show through. first thing i'll say is that the use of porn may not mean he doesn't love you or want to make love to you. i had a similar issue and basically what happened ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my fiancee's parents that he hits me?
Q. How can I approach my fiancee's parents (with discretion) by letting them know that he hits me at times when I disagree and or just have my opinion towards some topic. I'm afraid of talking to them because they would think Im just lying since...
A. 30 July 2007: the first thing i will say to you is that there is NEVER any excuse for him to be violent towards you. it's completely out of order. i'm so glad you're seeking help on this- too many women put up with it for years. can you speak to him about it- ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with a married woman. How do I get over my obsession??
Q. i am obesessed with a woman of 37..i am 57...we were workamates...nearly had sex..i panicked..now all i do is think about her..every waking minute of my life...i imagine her making love to her husband..my question is..how do i get over an ...
A. 30 July 2007: i'm there myself too. i can't tell you how to get over her - all i can say you have to be brutally honest- can you be together, is it worth the hurt ? it's not easy but you gotta be realistsic. .... (read in full...)
I want him to sleep in my room, with me.
Q. I need your help on how to tacticly approach a situation. I am 19 and my boyfriend is coming up (from the other end of the country, we met at uni) in a few weeks. Now my stepbrother has just moved back in with us so there is nowhere for my b...
A. 30 July 2007: agree with the last post- speak to mum about it- as a parent- if it seems serious enough and given your age- i'd have a lot of respect for you asking! you may not get the answer you want tho so be prepared... (read in full...)
I'm his wife, yet he loves his first fiancee more.
Q. my husband and i have been married almost 2 years, together for 4 1/2. about a month ago he announced he wanted a divorce. apparently he found the "love of his life" a woman that had been his first fiance, 27 years ago. i was unaware that we were ...
A. 30 July 2007: move forward. find someone who will love and need you because your,e you! it will not be as hard as you think! you sound well grounded - yeah it won't be easy but what he.s saying is that you're second best- you don't wanna go there girlfriend! ... (read in full...)
Still in turmoil over my ex, I want to date her, but dont think shes ready, but I cant let go!!
Q. I'm having trouble dealing with my ex-gf -- we had dated for a short while, wasn't too much into each other, then broke up when it was time to graduate from school and we had moved to different places. We have a somewhat odd relationship with each ...
A. 29 July 2007: dude, there's only one way to find out. if it' s gonna happen, it's gonna happen but if it ain't it' s time to move on hard as that may be. sometimes you just gotta take the hits ... (read in full...)
We're both too shy to make the first move!
Q. Hey The guy i love has recently told me he likes me, he says he has never loved anyone this much before, so all is good there. But the problem is we are both to scared and shy to make the first move. I txt him all the time, but when it comes do...
A. 29 July 2007: just do it- make the move. if someone doesn't, it might never happen and it sounds to me like you both want it to! ah young love- those were the days! ... (read in full...)
Getting over someone who does not love you back.
Q. hey guys i was wondering if u could give me any tips on dealing with or getting over loving someone who u know doesnt love u back, im finding it so hard...
A. 29 July 2007: i can only offer stuff from experience as everyone will cope in different ways. seeing your friends more- maybe going out more and possibly concentrating on a hobby can help take your mind off her. there's no magic wand here- it can hurt like hell ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong in stopping my kids seeing their dad who has a drink and drugs problem?
Q. I seperated from my partner and father of my three children 14 months ago life has been pretty hard as when we first seperated i found out that i was pregnant with my third child he gave me no support during this time. A week after i gave birth he ...
A. 29 July 2007: One of the most beautiful facets of human nature is the love that mothers have for their kids- of course you are absolutely right in my opinion by not letting them see their dad if he.s in that state- it's dangerous. is there a compromise ? for ... (read in full...)
My wife has health problems and is totally dependent on me..I feel trapped! Any advice?
Q. ok so i'm 39 and have been married for 7 years and have a 15 year old step daughter. we've had our share of ups and downs. thing is because of health and mental health issues with my wife, she's completely dependant on me and i feel trapped and i'm ...
A. 29 July 2007: thanks for your thoughts- not that easy to get time to myself tho-only time i really get is on the bus to work, when i do the shopping or in the bath! couple of weeks ago i went out for a drink with the lads after work and after 45 mins i had 15 ... (read in full...)
When you have to pee why do you get an erection?
Q. when you have to urinate why does your penis get hard...
A. 29 July 2007: mine doesn't tho i've seen it happen in infants-i'd be interested to find out if any other blokes get a similar effect tho... (read in full...)
Never had sex but my period is late, why?
Q. Hello, Im 15 Iv Never Had Sex Of Any Kind, But My Period Is Late.. Im Always Regular And Come On Ever Month Which Is Why Im Abit Worried.. The Thing Is I Cant Remember When I Was Due On But I Know I Am Late.. What Can This Be?? Im Abit Worrie...
A. 29 July 2007: There are many possible reasons for this- it could be something physical. you should speak to mum or an aunt about it and perhaps see your doctor. don't worry too much- it happens to lots of girls- my daughter included! ... (read in full...)
Should i move up and down?
Q. I was just wondering...when a girl goes on top during sex what exactly does she do. This sounds stupid but does she move up and down or what? Thanks...
A. 29 July 2007: i'd say you just do what feels good for you! why not try moving up and down or around in circles? just experiment - It'll be fun! ... (read in full...)
12 and been having sex with a married man. What should I do?
Q. hi i am 12 years old ands I live in wisconsin. I've been having sex with this guy (i baby sit for) he does not use condums when we doit he says hes alergic to them. I dont know what to do but i think i am pregnant. for the last 3 months he has not ...
A. 29 July 2007: I can't stress enough that what this man is doing is wrong and you really must tell someone about it. you also need to stop seeing him right now. if you can't find anyone that you feel you can tell, is there a child's help line you can call in ... (read in full...)
After 30 years of marriage my husband confessed to a one night stand (20 years ago).
Q. After 30 years of marriage my husband confessed to a one night stand (20 years ago). His behavior during the first 20 years of marriage was selfish (did what he wanted all the time) without regard to me and our children. His actions in those years ...
A. 29 July 2007: OK, I'm no expert and still have a lot to learn but two things stike me:
1. 20 years ago is a long time and the fact taht e's still with you - does that say sonething (although absolutely no excuse!) at least?
2. You say you don't live the s... (read in full...)
I can't decide if I love my husband or if I'm just used to him
Q. hello everyone i have another question. i sent in a question early about marriage and 3 kids. in respnose to the answer someone gave me. It is not the problem of having time alone we have babysitters it him. i have been thinking about this for at ...
A. 29 July 2007: To me, you have to look at what you actually have, and what you'd lose. And sometimes, once those questions are answered - honestly - it turns out there is actually still the love - just a different kind...... (read in full...)
Does he want to break up, or is he unsure? Any advice?
Q. He does not manage to break-up... why? I have been dating a guy for about 1.5y including 1y on a distance relationship. We now live back in the same city. Things are not going well. We are getting closer and closer to breaking up. Still, he does not...
A. 29 July 2007: I reckon you should lay it on the line and not give him the luxury of an answer of anything other than 'yes' ot 'no'. Guys are like that, no grey areas.
You also need to work out whether YOU want he break up - sounds like you perhaps do - in which... (read in full...)
I get too serious-too fast! How can I stop doing this?
Q. Hi all. Just wondering, since I have come out of a serious relationship, when I finally get into a new realtionship, is there anyway that I can settle with the idea that the relationship will not start seriously? I have only ever really been i...
A. 29 July 2007: Have had long-distance relationships in the past so kinda know where you're coming from.
The way I worked it (if it can be called that) is to make it clear what the score was at the start. i.e. if I was into a girl and she was into me, I'd actu... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I still haven't had sex. She's never in the mood!
Q. Hi there. I've been with my girlfriend for about 1 year and 2 months. We still havent had sex, we're both 18. She isn't "in the mood" very often and we always stop half way through foreplay because she isn't in the right frame of mind or she g...
A. 29 July 2007: As a bloke, first of all, I can relate to the frustration...
But anyhoo, as pointed out by a previous ansa, is there anything in the past that's making things difficult for her? If so, mebbe u guys need to talk?
If not, then it's a matter of... (read in full...)
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