A
male
age
30-35,
*k0
writes:Hi there.I've been with my girlfriend for about 1 year and 2 months.We still havent had sex, we're both 18.She isn't "in the mood" very often and we always stop half way through foreplay because she isn't in the right frame of mind or she gets sore. She gets sore really quickly, i dont know whether its me doing something wrong, she says it isn't but i can't tell.I don't think it is though. I don't know what it is...?We are both 18, she is very petite, around 4ft 9" and around 6.5 stone. I wouldnt say she is skinny-skinny, she doesnt look ill with her weight, i think she looks great and i dont like skinny girls, but the problem is her periods are so irregular. Her last period was a week ago but it only lasted 3 days and before that her last period was a few months ago.I'm a little bit worried, and kinda sexually frustrated. I don't not love her any less and it isn't really effecting our relationship much, i just want some advice and comments about both situations.Thanks very much, i hope to hear back from anyone.JK
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foreplay, in the mood, period, petite, sexually frustrated Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007): well, have you ever thought that it could be to do with her childhood?
maybe it was violent, abusive?
maybe when you begin to get close it brings back memories?
all you have to do is talk, and be open. say your worried, and its not just because you havent had sex, but your worried for her.
honest is the best.
good luck x
A
male
reader, jk0 +, writes (31 July 2007):
jk0 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks :D thats very good advice... i will try it. thanks 'anonymous (30 JULY)' i will mention it to her.thanks : )keep the advice coming... it's great to hear from a different perspective. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): It's nice of you to be so concerned about her feelings but maybe she's saving herself for marriage. Have you asked her about this? (you didn't mention if she was a virgin or not). Or maybe it's the way she was brought up. I know my parents never mentioned anything about the topic and just stayed away from it all. When I finally did have a relationship, my bf and i waited almost 2 years and still, I felt really dirty about it. It wasn't until I sat down with my bf and discussed how I was feeling (and seperately with my girlfriends) and finally realized that it isn't an evil thing.
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A
female
reader, babygirl2727  +, writes (30 July 2007):
JK you sound like a very understanding boy. I wish my boyfriend was like you:) Take her to a beautiful park or a very romantic place and talk to her about it. Give her some candies or flowers. Try foreplay before actually having sex with her. Trouch each others body parts, lick, suck, finger. That should get you both sexually aroused in other words very horny. Hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, jk0 +, writes (29 July 2007):
jk0 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice people. i'll give it a go. i love her to bits, i'm really not that bothered about the sex, i was just concerned n stuff thats all.thanks very much though.x
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 July 2007):
 Yep i agree with Quarky, lots of cuddles, no pressure, make sure she knows the cuddles arent going to lead to sex. Us women are a classic for thinking that! heheAnd talk about it, but NOT in the bedroom.Keep us updated.C xxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (29 July 2007):
 As a bloke, first of all, I can relate to the frustration...
But anyhoo, as pointed out by a previous ansa, is there anything in the past that's making things difficult for her? If so, mebbe u guys need to talk?
If not, then it's a matter of seducement - again, per previous answa, candles are a good idea. Set the scene, take her out 4 a meal, make it romantic, make sure you're in a completely relaxed atmosphere - and don't rush it dude - just take it easy. And make it fun - it's so much easier when you're having a giggle about it all!...
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (28 July 2007):
You sound a lovely person JK.
I'm too getting the feeling this isnt right. It is more than fair to want an intimate relationship after this length of time with someone. Prefectly normal.
With the dryness thing, that will be because shes not producing enough natural lubricants. If there is an issue with sex, that will be why. Is she a virgin?
Possibly there are some issues from a long time ago that are getting in her way of getting too intimate with you, and i would say prehaps both go see her doctor?
Because a year is a long time at your ages to wait to start having sex.
Hope you work it out.
C XXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): Why would you be having sex if you weren't married? Wht if she gets prego? Condumns and birth control aren't 100% foolproof you know. My advice is to wait and not do it. See a doctor or talk to your parents first.
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A
female
reader, angel-kate +, writes (28 July 2007):
 why dont u get some candels light them around the room, play some calmin music & see if that helps to get her in the mood.
rememebr life isnt all about sex!
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