| Latest articles: Bus girl blues update!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2009: Continuing the Harry Potter update thought I'd let you know I had a first date tonight with my bus girl. It went really well and she sent me a text saying as much too. Catch is, I look so much younger than I actually am she was pretty shocked w...
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Should I get out now or wait until the whole family is imprisoned?
Q. For the last 6 months I have been in love with a wonderful man who I had every intention of marrying. Recently his past relationships have come to the fore a lot esp regarding his young son who is always getting into trouble. This child has recently ...
A. 16 July 2009: I think you know what you should do. Everyone has baggage that they bring to a relationship but some baggage is heavier!
It sounds like you can't accept the issues that this man's family is causing and I totally understand why - and I think th... (read in full...)
What do men do when they realise their game doesn't work with you?
Q. What do men do when they realize their game doesn't work with you? In other words, you can pretty much see right through their bull. Do they try harder, freak out, or become tame? ...
A. 16 July 2009: What I can't understand is how men like that actually succeed! Do women just not see the BS or just play along cos that's what they want too?
Never been able to get my head around that!
... (read in full...)
My teenage boyfriend is horny and sweet talks to let him finger me, even when I am not ready
Q. Hey, I'm 13 almost 14 and I have been dating this guy for 6months and I absolutly love him. Please don't judge me cuz of my age. Well, he has been wanting to finger me but I'm scared and that's normal. But, I asked him if he would be mad if I ...
A. 15 July 2009: I think you're very sensible-you should stick to your guns and only do things you're comfortable with. And yes, he should respect your decision-if he doesn't you can always find someone else who does.... (read in full...)
How do you tell a guy you're still waiting for an orgasm?
Q. I slept with a new man the other night--in our texts he kept telling me about all the things he would do, oral, etc. But in reality we had intercourse twice, and I sucked him off for a while. But not once did he try to go down on me or please ...
A. 15 July 2009: Or you can bring him off then say 'it's my turn'. Or ask him to do the things he said he would in his text. He'll hopefully get the hint... Or it could be he's waiting for you to ask him too-some guys are incredibly thick sometimes and ne... (read in full...)
Could my personality be a barrier in the relationship?
Q. I'm 25 years old and still trying to grow-up as far as financial and emotional independence goes. Recently, I met a man who is 19 years older than me, never been married, but had several serious relationships in the past. He showed special ...
A. 15 July 2009: It could be that he's making these comments because he's a bit worried about the age difference and why would someone so young be attracted to him. I'm not sure that he'd use it as an excuse to sabotage the relationship-he may just need reassu... (read in full...)
He wants to spice things up in our sex life should I go along with it?
Q. i am 16 and have been having sex with my boyfriend for ages but he wants to change it and try tying me up and adding spice to it but i feel like it means that normal sex with me is boring and thats why he want to spice it up. am i just being stupid ...
A. 14 July 2009: I very much doubt that he thinks your boring in that area so don't worry about that! Blokes are usually quite happy with the basics as far as that's concerned.
But there's nothing wrong with a bit of spice now and again-as long as you both enj... (read in full...)
I love to pursue men, it's a part of my personality, yet I am afraid of how others think
Q. I've got a guys (player's) mentality towards sex and relationships. I'm ashamed to say i sometimes have more than one guy on the scene at once. Just for sex. But i don't get much emotional attachment to them. I make them feel like princes treating ...
A. 14 July 2009: Nothing wrong with that! I would say 'to Hell what others think', enjoy while you can, just be careful.
But there are some guys who may have issues with this (sorry to say) if and when you want to settle down but as long as you're aware of that-... (read in full...)
Amazing "other" woman causing headache/distraction
Q. an old flame has return into my life, literally months after I got engaged. This old flame is amazing.. I mean she turns heads wherever she goes. My current/future wife is a great woman. She will be a great wife and mother (eventually). But I can't ...
A. 14 July 2009: I'm afraid it just comes down to sorting out, in your head, what your priorities are and concentrating on that.
If that means forgetting about the other woman and moving on, so be it.
If that means you no longer want to be with your curren... (read in full...)
Guy is 27 and she is 15, is this really going to work?
Q. one of my best friends is 15 and a guy that's 27 likes her, do you think she should go out with him ? yes or no and why ? help me by the way he has two kids. ...
A. 14 July 2009: Not only the MAJOR legal aspect but there really is little hope of any sort of relationship developing out of this. Your friend should enjoy her youth while she can-hang out with friends, snog boys her own age and not even consider getting involved ... (read in full...)
How can I make things different when I go down on him?
Q. My man wants to go down on me while sucking an ice cube, I love the idea but I want to return the favour and do something different when I go down on him. Any ideas?...
A. 14 July 2009: How about taking him to the edge then stopping, keep doing that a few times until he can't take it anymore?
Works for me (:
Some guys also like anal stimulation when ejaculating...experiment, ask him what he'd like, and have fun!... (read in full...)
Are married women more flirtatious than single women? This study has me confused!
Q. confused and need help.. lately i saw a video on the youtube showing a confusing study that says marreid women or those who are in a stable long term relationship are more flirtarious than sinlge women !! the study was made in a club and it ...
A. 13 July 2009: I agree with k_c - I wear glasses and I'm not a geek!
Oh...wait a minute, actually I am!
And proud of it!
:D... (read in full...)
He said "we can begin as good friends with no hidden agenda" what does this mean?
Q. I'm really confused. I have split with a long term partner. An old admirer has neen in touch, texting every day, bringing lunch over and flirting by hugging touching my hair etc. I felt a little overwhelmed by his attention and said I needed to ...
A. 13 July 2009: yeah, I agree- I think he's probably doing the sensible thing to do!
He's taking it slow-wants to be a friend first and foremost and take it from there-if something more comes of it, all the better!
In my opinion getting to know someone as ... (read in full...)
Dealing with major failure
Q. I thought I would write a post about failure. I know failure is a part of life but realizing it exists and dealing with your own personal failures is very different, and the latter is sometimes impossible to get over. These past four years ...
A. 10 July 2009: I suspect everyone has had 'failures' and anyone who says they haven't are not facing up to them.
And that's my point really, you simply have to face up to them, deal with them and move on.
I say 'simply ' like it's easy-but it's not-some yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves his computer more than I
Q. my boyfriend seems to be more in love with his computer than me. this has only been a recent thing but im really getting angry and frustrated over it. when i try and make plans with him its like im bothering him and he cant even talk on the phone ...
A. 9 July 2009: Get a screwdriver and take the fuse out of his plug.
ok, may be a bit flippant but seriously, he needs to realise What's more important.
Guys need their own time just like women do but if it's getting in the way of your relationship... (read in full...)
Move on or wait for him?
Q. 've known my best friend since I was 13 (he was 14) and he has always been in love with me. I wasn't attracted to him initially and I would tell him that I wanted to just stay friends. As I grew older, I became curious about why I wasn't attracted ...
A. 9 July 2009: How long are you prepared to wait?
Do you know that you'll be together after 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years?
If he really wanted to be with you, maybe he would be more sure of wanting to be with you.
Maybe it's time to draw a line, stop hoping... (read in full...)
How do I start dating again after 15 years?
Q. i am 40 yrs old and i haven't dated in 15 years. i recelently lost weight and now i feel better about my self and i want to date. i looked up an old friend that use to be interested in me when i was big so i know he would love to see me now. i never ...
A. 9 July 2009: Yep, I agree, take it slow-start off by not making a 'date'-just get together for a coffee, a drink after work. Get chatting and see how it goes -good luck!... (read in full...)
Should my baby be circumsized?
Q. I am 8 months pregnant and I am having a baby boy.. I don't know what to do about circumsizing??? His father was not circumsized and is currently not in our lives due to being controlling and abusive.. I have read the pros and cons of either way but ...
A. 9 July 2009: I'm not sure if you're asking how to get it done or whether it's a good idea or not.
if it's the former, then you should speak to your Doc about it-they'll be able to advise when and how it can be done.
I was circumcised when I was very young (... (read in full...)
How can I feel closer to him and show my love in our long distance relationship?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. We are engaged. He has been away for a couple of months now and I wont be able to see him until December. How can I feel more closer to him in your LDR? I want to show my love to him and I need ...
A. 9 July 2009: Hey there-one thing I did during a LDR is write-often - and I mean snail mail rather than email!
There's something special about getting a hand written letter from your lover.
Why not write a diary of your week, tell him when you think of him... (read in full...)
We both should divorce our spouses and work on our relationship with each other, but I'm not sure what to do
Q. Okay here goes. I am seperated and I have a friend of the opposite sex who is also sepereated so we have a lot in common. We have some of the same friends and he is really good friends with my older brother. Well we have hooked up while seperated ...
A. 9 July 2009: I'm separated too and ask myself the same thing and although I've met someone, it's very early days.
OK so technically, you're still married and yes, it would be 'proper' to wait until you're both divorced to get involved in another relation... (read in full...)
What can I do to make son realize his girlfriend is destroying him/family?
Q. Hi, I'm not sure if this is where I should be asking for help but I figured it was worth a try.I have 26 yr old son whom I love very much and thats the hard part.He has been into drugs for some time, I'm not sure what he's on, I know at first , ...
A. 8 July 2009: I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I can emphasise to an extent as I myself have gone out with, and indeed married, what my mum, and lots in my family, have seen as someone 'unsuitable' for various reasons, including drugs.
All I can say is t... (read in full...)
I'm married, she's married, we're both unhappy and have an affair, should we keep it going?
Q. Hi I'm a 36 y.o man unhappily married with two beautiful girls ages 10 and 6. My lover, whom I met 9 months ago is also married she's 33 and has a teenage boy. My marriage has been on the rocks since about 3 years ago. thanks to my wife's me first ...
A. 8 July 2009: Just one thing too add really-if you do decide to leave your wife, is there a cast iron guarantee you'll end up with your lover? and would you still leave your wife if there was no lover?
Maybe not, then you'll be left with no-one. Think you just... (read in full...)
Torn between sexual love and safety!
Q. I feel pretty desperate and in so much uncertainty. I left my wife 6 months ago. We've been married for nearly 22 years. For many of those years we didn't have a good sexual relationship. For the past 10 years we didn't have sex very often at ...
A. 8 July 2009: For once I don't feel any sympathy for you at all-only for your wife who you continue to cheat on and the woman who has fallen for you.
'Having your cake and eating it' is the phrase that comes to mind.
If you can keep it going, what the ... (read in full...)
He is mistrusting, paranoid, insecure and trying to control my life
Q. This story sounds minor but it pretty much sums up my relationship with my boyfriend of two years, who I love dearly and he wants me to move to Italy (where he is from)... So I bought two pairs of shoes, I work in a professional setting. The he...
A. 8 July 2009: The very fact that you've had so many answers to your question shows that it is not at all 'minor'!
And I agree with the previous answers too. For your sake (and his, incidentally), you should, and no doubt will, find something better!
Sorry b... (read in full...)
I need help understanding shy guys, does he like me or is he just being polite?
Q. Shy guys are very confusing and frustrating. This guy at my work is around 26. He is so so shy his dad tries to set him up on dates and from what I have found out he only has had one girlfriend. One of my friends at work told him that I thought he ...
A. 7 July 2009: I think he clearly likes you but wants to be sure that he's picking up your signals right.
I think you should make the first tentative move-maybe hold his hand next time you're out, look into his eyes and hold it there-some guys are painfull... (read in full...)
Do men talk to their friends about women they like/are interested in?
Q. Do men talk to their friends about women they like or are interested in? I was seeing this guy for a little bit a few months ago and we just kind of started talking again. After going out, he took me to his place since he had just moved and wanted ...
A. 7 July 2009: In my experience, I'm more likely to talk to a sister, aunt or close female friend that I'd discuss affairs of the heart with-mainly because their advice is probably more useful to me!
And yes, it does sound like this guy likes you!... (read in full...)
I can feel his erection when we hug! How do I let him know in the right way?
Q. First off, my boyfriend and I work together. We don't have a lot of days off together, so we see eachother at work most of the time. Coworkers aren't allowed to date, so we act like everythings normal when people are around, so naturally there's ...
A. 7 July 2009: Yeah, make it light-hearted-tell him you don't mind, that you like it. I wouldn't' try and joke about tho it in case he takes it the wrong way!
... (read in full...)
He takes creepy picture of other girls and is addicted to porn! Should I leave him?
Q. Dear Cupid, Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and a half. Anyone can plainly see that were madly in love with each other. In the beginning there were problems with him being faithful and he "talked dirty" with another girl and...
A. 6 July 2009: Probably contrary to most of the answers you'll get but I think he just needs to grow up and get his priorities right. If he truly loves you, he'll stop hurting you with this. In my opinion, you should take a hard line on this-ok don't threaten to ... (read in full...)
I don't want to use birth control and don't want her to get pregnant
Q. when is it ok for me to cum inside my girl???wit no pill and no condoms.. and please dont tell me to use a condom cuz its not the same and i dont want to hear .make her take pills.. ...
A. 6 July 2009: Even condoms or pills are not 100% effective. Basically there is no sure fire way of having penetrative sex with no risk of pregnancy. The risk is however substantially reduced with contraception. There are other methods, incidentally, other than ... (read in full...)
I feel like a dirty, cheating tramp! Please help....
Q. i really need some help as i just feel awful. i feel as thought i can never forgive myself for something i did, 6 years ago i was friends with a guy at work. i liked him a lot to talk to and he made me laugh. i ws engaged to another guy at th...
A. 6 July 2009: We all make mistakes in life and love - it is learning from them and moving on which makes us strong. I can understand why you feel how you do but you really shouldn't beat yourself up about it. I bet both the guys you mention aren't in tears ... (read in full...)
I hate having these negative feelings about women and it's consuming me....
Q. Hi where do i start. Im a 27 year old man and im really struggling with handling how much casual sex i see around me, though friends and people i meet out on a night out. Iv just come out of a long relationship almost 6 years. it was over due a...
A. 6 July 2009: Yep-totally agree with some of the things you say here. I've always avoided the type of girl/woman who just seems to want a quick fling-in fact my friends have been incredulous that I haven't taken advantage of such obvious 'conquests' when the ... (read in full...)
Did I have a seizure?
Q. this isnt the right site to ask this, but i cant seem to find any suitable sites so i was wondering if any 1 could help me? last night i was on my way home from work in a taxi, with me was my manager. i remember siutting there, just glad to be ...
A. 6 July 2009: It could be lots of things-low blood pressure, exhaustion, or a seizure.
You need to make an appointment with your Doc as soon as you can to get to the bottom of it.
Hope that helps!
... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and I really want a baby!
Q. Ok guys I know this may seem a little extreme or even stupid, but I am 17 and I want a baby. I have always been obessed with children and in my household sex before marriage is frowned upon. I had sex between 7-10 times and I've been trying to get ...
A. 5 July 2009: There are lots of single parents in this world who manage fine-thing is they usually have the support of family and friends. If that is an issue for you then you need to think carefully about being dependant on state benefits for a good while. ... (read in full...)
Does she love me ? and other issues...
Q. I've been living with my wife for the last 16 years, married since 10. Two years ago, I realized I did not love her any more and had to do something about it (ie. had to separate). We separated for about two months. She was broken hearted and I felt ...
A. 5 July 2009: As often as not, posters here pretty much know what they should do. Getting an independent view can make all the difference. In some ways, ending a relationship whilst the child is young may be better than the child growing up in a relationship w... (read in full...)
Does she love me ? and other issues...
Q. I've been living with my wife for the last 16 years, married since 10. Two years ago, I realized I did not love her any more and had to do something about it (ie. had to separate). We separated for about two months. She was broken hearted and I felt ...
A. 5 July 2009: This isn't really about the feelings this other woman may or may not have for you I think. Breaking it down, I think you have 3 options.
1. Leave your wife for good this time and be free to pursue other relationships. Catch is the pain you'll c... (read in full...)
Guys: do you normally 'check out' good looking girls? Ladies: are you bothered by this?
Q. my question is out there mainly for the guys but ladies theres one for you to: is it true that most men so called "check out" any girl who is showing a bit of flesh or has a perfect figure i.e big breasts and big bottom lol? is it almost "natur...
A. 4 July 2009: It's something that's been hard coded into our genetic makeup over thousands of years-as with many creatures on this particular tiny pale blue dot.
But that doesn't mean there is more to it than looks alone-getting to know someone for who they... (read in full...)
17 and asked to move! How do I get out and onto my own 2 feet?
Q. I hate living with my family and they dislike living with me, because I don't contribute to anything in the house and just sit in my bedroom or go out, I've been wanting to move out for over a year now but only ever played with the idea, my Dad has ...
A. 3 July 2009: you should also be entitled to support by way of further education grants and possibly other financial support. There may be help and advice available at college or maybe try citizen's advice or other such organisations.
flat share will probably... (read in full...)
Paranoid about my man's co-worker who has a crush on him
Q. Am I being paranoid?...B/f works with a woman who's had a crush on him since day one. They used to spend time out in the field; she'd make up any excuse to accompany him, even when it wasn't part of his job. But he came home to me every night. Once ...
A. 3 July 2009: Ok this does to me sound like there is something going on that you don't know about. It may be as innocent as your bf describes but it does seem unlikely from what you say.
It boils down to discussing it with him rationally(cos guys don't like and... (read in full...)
Is this me or is it moving to fast?
Q. I have a good friend and his wife left him four months ago and they were together for 12 years. For three months he begged her to take him back. As far as I know, he didn't do anything bad and this break-up was out of the blue. He met a girl 4 ...
A. 3 July 2009: sounds a bit fast to me I must admit. There's a danger that he will start to treat relationships with some disdain which will not help him or his partners. Frankly tho' no amount of telling him otherwise may make a difference - something he has to ... (read in full...)
All chip in! How do you know when your in love?
Q. Ok, everyone has to chip in here, since it's a very varied thing; how do you know when you're in love? :)...
A. 3 July 2009: When it hits you like both barrels from a 12 gauge. When you both feel you're the only 2 people in the world and nothing else matters. And not necessarily at first sight. Been there once-blew it. It's easy to mistake lust or attention as love so ... (read in full...)
Do guys think it's sexy or good looking for girls to have six packs?
Q. hey i have a question and am looking for teenage guys to answer. im 15 years old 5'5" and 110 pounds. im quite thin compared to people around me. Do guys think it's sexy or good looking for girls to have six packs? just in general give your opinion ...
A. 3 July 2009: Some guys like girls fully fit with six packs, some guys don't. What's important is that you're happy with the way you are. If you're not, it's more of a turn off to guys!
Be happy in your bod!... (read in full...)
Why all these emotions when I rub my nipples?
Q. Hey, I've discovered that when I rub my nipples for a while, I start to get really emotional, and even cry. Why do I get filled with these strange emotions when I rub my nipples? Like, at some points it almost feels like 'love' in the sense of a d...
A. 3 July 2009: I've not experienced similar sensations (it just tickles!) but that doesn't mean you're odd. Hell I still cry at 'Breakfast at Tiffanys'.
Nothing wrong with guys feeling such emotions, unless there are underlying issues that should be dealt wi... (read in full...)
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