A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:hey guys i was wondering if u could give me any tips on dealing with or getting over loving someone who u know doesnt love u back, im finding it so hard Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): you can tell whoever you like about your fellings and go from there it happens to me all the time so dont fell like your the only one
A
female
reader, ponygal  +, writes (18 September 2007):
I am still in the beginning throughs of the same thing and need help too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): I'm going through this ordeal right now as a matter of fact. I have been dealing with this person off and on for a year now. I always kept my true feelings for them bottled up because they did not like to have emotional conversations. However, during our most recent reconnection they disclosed to me that I was the one they really want to be with. Well, I took that idea and ran with it. Much to my dismay, they started distancing themselves as usual. Finally, I put it out all there in an email to them for which I have received no response from except a text message that stated they were taking it all in and that it was a lot to accept. Meanwhile, they are sleeping around with others. It hurts like hell, but it shows me that they really don't care. So, I had to make it up in my mind that they are not good enough for me, and I deserve better. On the flipside, I believe this person is my soulmate, but I learned that I don't have to be theirs in return. I'm using this time to focus on me...don't get me wrong though. It's a very difficult process as I am not ready to explore dating anyone else until my mind frees from this individual. Who knows how long that will take? My advice: just take it one minute at a time, and try to get closure from them one way or another. It would sure help me in my situation. They say no response is closure but I can't buy that from someone I've known a year especially when they admit they care for me so much and really "like" me. In my email I asked them to spell it out for me for once. It hasn't happened thus far, and it's all I really need. I don't believe that's asking for too much from an adult. I hope I didn't suck you further into the abyss with my issues...just keep trying to get closure. I think it's a basic human right.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): That's a very hard thing to do. You'll find yourself in a quandry and wanting to be tere all the time. Just leave it well enough alone and save your love for the person who really deserves it. Get out and meet different people and learn new things. It'll give you a different perspective on life and love in general. Give other people a chance to see how wonderful a person you really are and the right person will come along and meet you halfway. They would be understanding and patient with you as well as loving and tender. Don't settle for second place from anyone. There's someone out there who'll make you their #1. It might be closer than you think.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): Pray and ask God to help you. Make sure you are sincere when you talk to him. Focus more on yourself and the things you like to do and want to do. You may want to consider making your schedule so tight that you absolutely have no time to think about that someone who is not loving you back. Hope this helps you.
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (29 July 2007):
i can only offer stuff from experience as everyone will cope in different ways. seeing your friends more- maybe going out more and possibly concentrating on a hobby can help take your mind off her. there's no magic wand here- it can hurt like hell but you'll get over it in time- trust me!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): It takes time for feelings of love to go away. Be patient and eventually these feelings will fade away.
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A
female
reader, cockneybabe +, writes (29 July 2007):
 this has happened to me many times and it still doesnt get better as you get older im afraid
the best advice to get over him is
a: store him as whatever name he is right now in your mobile, i stored my ex as W""ker and every time i looked at it i thought to myself why would i want to get in touch with him
b buy the book "its called a break up because its broken" bloody good book tells you to have no contact for 60 days it works and he ended up contacting me in the end im over him now and seeing someone who is far better
you will get there in the end xx
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A
female
reader, deutschangel +, writes (29 July 2007):
I personally find the best way to get over someone in this situation is to go out and enjoy yourself. Find different activities to do that you know the other person wouldn't have liked. give yourself time to find out who you are again!!
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (29 July 2007):
 Im so sorry that you are feeling this way. If it helps, most of us have been there at some stage including me. Try doing something that you enjoy first, like have a nice bubble bath, a walk in the park, or a girly chat with a friend. Anything that would feel like a nice treat for you just to make yourself feel a bit brighter. Next learn that skill you have always wanted to master. Take driving lessons, a cookery course, learn a new language or practice ti'chi. Not only will you be getting out of the house and not brooding, but you will be filling your thoughts with the constructive rather than destructive. You will also meet new people. That can only be good. Lastly, the most obvious, get out with your pals. Do not neglect those closest to you for they are often our greatest source of strength when we need help. Go into town, plan a cinema trip or even learn a new skill with a friend. There are lots of ways you can spend time with your mates. Remember you are a wonderful person, with a lot to give. This love was not right for you but there is someone out there who will appreciate you and will consider themselves lucky to have found you. I promise what you are feeling will lessen given time.Best wishes and I will be thinking of you, Skye xx
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (29 July 2007):
 Is it from a break up or is it a crush? More information is needed.
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A
male
reader, Stanley Cup +, writes (29 July 2007):
It is never easy getting over someone whom you have had feelings for. What you need to do is get out in social settings and meet new people. Go out to places that have something to do with things that you are interested in. At these places you will meet other people that share the same interests as you.Also, you will want to avoid places where you will see this other person. It takes time to get over a former love, but only one quick moment to be reminded of them and have them in your immediate thoughts.So remember, go out, try to avoid places where that remind you of this other person, and meet new people. Pretty soon you'll meet someone else who feels as strongly about you as you do about them. That is the best advice that I can give you on how to get over someone.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (29 July 2007):
 It is always hard when you love love someone and they don't love you back.
You will get over this in time, the best thing you can do is go out and enjoy life to the full. Have fun with friends and over the natural course of time the feelings will eventually fade. You will soon meet someone who loves you back, probably when you least expect it.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, angel-kate +, writes (29 July 2007):
 everyone has to find their own way of dealing with this kind of stuff. what i do is concentrate on having a good time with my friends and family. my mate's way of dealing with it is goin on holiday fro a week or two and trys to find a holiday romance to take her mind of him.liek i saaid, veryone has a different way of dealing with it.
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