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... Send *ica a private message | | | *ica's profile:I am older and wiser! If only the current me had been around to give the younger me some much-needed advice .. not that I would have listened anyway. As a teenager (and beyond) I thought that sex'n'drugs'rock'n'roll were the best goals in life .. how wrong I was. Ok for light relief but not to be pursued as a lifestyle. |
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150 girls or less!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and, except for my problems with his past and the number of one night stands he's had, everything has been fine. Today, we were talking about it and he said I'm being silly and I'll never find someone ...
A. 24 August 2006: I always think it's kind of telling when they've kept the score that long ... ... (read in full...)
Prison Break
Q. Dear cupid im going through something right now my boy friend is in jail for a couple of months and me and my girlfriend was hanging out with her boyfriend and his cousin and i really like him i dont know what to do should i tell my bf thats its ...
A. 24 August 2006: Please don't dump your boyfriend while he's in jail - it's hard enough for him in there. If it's only a couple of months then I'd say wait and if you feel the same then finish with him once he is out and can get on with his life. I know this seems ... (read in full...)
He says he won't get a divorce for 2 years and wants no strings sex. Should I go for it?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for about four months, however he still lives with his ex, I wanted to wait till he moved out before we became serious, but he said he didnt want me to throw away what we had. I thought i loved him and things progress...
A. 24 August 2006: It's amazing the guys you meet who claim they live with their "ex" ... I do tend to wonder if the "ex" realises that she is an "ex". Anyway, he didn't want you to throw away .. yeah right. Take the others' advice and stop sleeping with him. in fact, ... (read in full...)
Why won't he talk to me now?
Q. My questions seem to be a long string of problems involving 1 boy. Anyway this might be the last one in the chain but I've thought that about many of my questions. Anyway...the lad in all my previous questions now said he doesn't want to talk to me ...
A. 21 August 2006: If he says he doesn't want to talk to you, then don't talk to him. leave it, get on with your life. If he misses you, he'll let you know. But don't let it keep happening.... (read in full...)
My penis "head" is really sensitive... almost painful to touch!
Q. OK I know this sounds weird and a lot of you who read this will probably think i'm an idiot asking this. Is the type of skin cells on a clitoris the same to that on the "head of a penis"? The reason I ask is that I heard something like that and when...
A. 21 August 2006: My understanding is that it's the same original part of the embryo/foetus which develops differently into male or female so I guess that's a yes.... (read in full...)
Chat up or shut up?
Q. This letter will probably just sound like I'm having a bit of a whinge but anyway, I'm 26 and have been single for just over a year now, the thing is I'm totally useless at chatting up girls and I'am becoming increasingly frustrated with exactly ...
A. 21 August 2006: I think bars and clubs are rubbish places to meet people. Barnzy is right. Join something, go somewhere where the focus isn't on 'meeting'. It's much easier to talk when there's a common interest.... (read in full...)
Cheating uncle
Q. My aunt on my mothers side died last year from cancer in her late fifties, My uncle has now told me he is, and has been, having an affair with my separated sister since 7 days after my aunts funeral. I can't deal with it and find it repulsive. ...
A. 21 August 2006: I think helpful girl is too harsh .. bereavement does strange things to people. If it started very shortly after his wife's death then it could well be a reaction to that event. I don't mean to be unkind by saying you should keep out of it but as ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a boy behind his girlfriends back and she confronted me at my house!
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 6 months behind his girlfriends back. He says he wants to be with me but wants to break up with his girlfriend without hurting her too much and without her finding out. She suspects something is going on and even came to ...
A. 21 August 2006: How do you know there's only the two of you? ;)... (read in full...)
My BF can't remember one drunken party -- and now a woman is claiming he's the father of her child!
Q. OK so in trying to do some research on how others may have handled this situation, I came across this site. Seems like a good outlet for someone like myself so I figured I would try... To get right to it, me (28) and my boyfriend (31) of ...
A. 21 August 2006: Sorry, but you had been seeing him for 2 months & he slept with someone else? Blame the drink or the woman if you like, but he still did it and truth is you wouldn't have found out if the pregnancy hadn't happened. So they didn't use contraception ... (read in full...)
Is he having thoughts about dumping me ?
Q. Hiya, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months now. It's my 1st relationship in some time and I really like him, however, maybe im a bit paranoid but recently he has been acting differently. He will only say I love you if I say I love you to him ...
A. 17 August 2006: You might want to cool off the relationship monitoring - I don't want that to sound harsh but instead of worrying about how things are, have fun instead. Think of things for the two of you to do that that you will both enjoy and take you mind of ... (read in full...)
We have been together 2 years, hes just found his "lettesr box" but wont let me see.. I feel put out!!
Q. Hi there, I have been with my boyfriend for two years. He had four previous relationships, each only lasting 10 months, but pretty intense I think. The first of these, in particular, was very full on, although they were both young at the time ( it...
A. 17 August 2006: To be honest I don't know why you want to see his personal mementoes. If he's not poring over them every day then they are just items from his past. I think you should respect his privacy and let it be. Personally I wouldn't want anyone reading my ... (read in full...)
Age difference is creating problems with starting a family
Q. I am a 22 year old girl, in a serious relationship with a 32 year old man. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and broght a house together 18 months ago. Everything is going well but I now have growing concerns about our age difference... We b...
A. 16 August 2006: sorry about the multiple posts - error!... (read in full...)
Age difference is creating problems with starting a family
Q. I am a 22 year old girl, in a serious relationship with a 32 year old man. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and broght a house together 18 months ago. Everything is going well but I now have growing concerns about our age difference... We b...
A. 16 August 2006: What is it that you want to do in the next 6 child-free years? Can you do some of it sooner? I'd suggest why not half the difference as a compromise & make it 25 rather than 28. I don't think 38 is too old for him though it sounds like you yourself ... (read in full...)
Age difference is creating problems with starting a family
Q. I am a 22 year old girl, in a serious relationship with a 32 year old man. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and broght a house together 18 months ago. Everything is going well but I now have growing concerns about our age difference... We b...
A. 16 August 2006: What is it that you want to do in the next 6 child-free years? Can you do some of it sooner? I'd suggest why not half the difference as a compromise & make it 25 rather than 28. I don't think 38 is too old for him though it sounds like you yourself ... (read in full...)
Age difference is creating problems with starting a family
Q. I am a 22 year old girl, in a serious relationship with a 32 year old man. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and broght a house together 18 months ago. Everything is going well but I now have growing concerns about our age difference... We b...
A. 16 August 2006: What is it that you want to do in the next 6 child-free years? Can you do some of it sooner? I'd suggest why not half the difference as a compromise & make it 25 rather than 28. I don't think 38 is too old for him though it sounds like you yourself ... (read in full...)
Two days left? What does this mean?
Q. my fella has told me that we only have 2 days left of our relationship!! why has he given a deadline? what does this mean? im risking everything for him and now we only have 2 days left together!! i am so confused as i love him so much! i do i love ...
A. 16 August 2006: Honestly? Tell him he's run out of time already and dump him. Harsh I know, but no-one who loves or respects you would behave like this. If he has an issue then he should discuss it with you. He has absolutely no right to hand out ultimatums like ... (read in full...)
I dont want to have to tell the new guy about "my situation" until im settled, how should I handle this ?
Q. I have a conundrum. My long term boyfriend and I broke up a month and a half ago. We lived together, and I am staying elsewhere until our lease is up at the end of Sept. After that I will get my own place, etc. It was coming for a while, not a ...
A. 16 August 2006: Good advice below - you might also want to consider how you'll feel if the new guy doesn't ask you out. I'm not trying to put you down, but I'm wondering if the break-up is less easy than you are making out and by focusing on ... (read in full...)
Stomach pain after sex
Q. just a quick question, me and my girlfriend were having sex, and it was really good, but afterwards she complains about ehr stomach hurting for the next 3 days or so....why might this be??...
A. 11 August 2006: For anything involving painful sex for which you have no explanation a visit to the doctor is advisable, even just for reassurance. I have no idea what it could be - there may be no connection - but a qualified person should. ... (read in full...)
I am not a sexual person so can those relationships work?
Q. I think this question might be a bit BIG to ask here, but I only ever think it to myself so it's nice to know that other people can finally know my thoughts [on relationships]. Ok... I am young[ish] (i'm 24) and although I've had sexual relations...
A. 11 August 2006: Sorry, but I don't understand why you want to meet a man for a relationship when you admit that you're not interested in the physical side. What do you want from a guy given that you've already drawn a boundary? There probably are men out there who ... (read in full...)
My "one off" guy sort of became my boyfriend, hes treating me oddly at the mo and I dont know what to do because I love him!
Q. about 3 months ago i cheated on my boyfriend (he is now my ex) and went with a 45 year old man, i am 17, and yes i was drunk and it wasnt supposed to have turned out to be anything more than a one off. but once me and my ex boyfriend had split up he ...
A. 11 August 2006: Get away from this guy, he is no good for you. No-one who "loves" or even simply cares about you would strangle you, push you to the ground and leave you to walk home at 3am. Don't make the drugs the reason for this treatment, if anything that's ... (read in full...)
I didn't go to my prom as I didn't have a date!
Q. has anyone ever been to a prom without a date or in a limo. Well that would have been the case for me. All of my friends had dates except me and by the time I asked if there was any space in 1 of the 2 limos my friends got, there wasn't. Because of ...
A. 11 August 2006: I totally agree with Bev, the things that seem so Big at school cease to have any meaning after you've left. You feel bad now, but it's done and won't change so focus on future events and good luck with those!... (read in full...)
Are people really content on living the way my friend does ?
Q. I have a male friend who is in his 60's and is 20 years older than me. The thing is, he thinks he's Mr. Don Juan and thinks he can still hang out with the young bucks, going to the dance clubs, strip clubs, bars--whatever have you. He doesn't have ...
A. 11 August 2006: He seems to be fine with it, sorry but the problem is yours. Can't say he sounds like my kind of person either though! Sorry but I really don't understand what you want him anyway - he has "nothing to offer"??! He's mean to you, has a lifestyle you ... (read in full...)
I'm 30, I'm shy, I'm boring and have had only 2 bf's.i, in my past. I want to find love but not sure if I should go for it. Any advice?
Q. I admit it i am a sad boring cow. I am 30 years and have only had 2 boyfriends. I am very shy and it takes me a while to warm up to people, i have never been interested in getting drunk in a pub or club and much prefer a good book! I work with a lot ...
A. 11 August 2006: But you are desperate ;)) Go on, give it a go, have some dates and get out there. Net dating is very popular now, in fact it has become an accepted route for romance. You'll potentially meet guys who like you aren't interested in pubs and clubs. ... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Girls come to hate me after just a few days!
Q. Hi I'm kinda worried as I'm now 20 and the past 4 girls I have met seem to hate me after only a couple of days but why I don't know. I'm a nice, funny, good looking, kind person and a gentleman, but for some reason they don't think so even after we ...
A. 11 August 2006: You bought them drinks and told them they were beautiful .. were they? Sounds to me like you might appear a bit too keen, or fake. Don't feel you need to do or say certain things to impress. Just relax and be yourself. ... (read in full...)
Broke up with my BF and he said he doesn't care if we're friends or not!
Q. im 17,almost 18 and i broke up with my bf 2 weeks ago because he never calls or calls me back. He always said he had plans whenever i asked if we could hangout (many times) so it got to the point where i couldnt take not seeing him and barely ...
A. 11 August 2006: Oh, and PS, don't go down the friends route. Just prolongs the heartache. Cut all unavoidable contact.... (read in full...)
Broke up with my BF and he said he doesn't care if we're friends or not!
Q. im 17,almost 18 and i broke up with my bf 2 weeks ago because he never calls or calls me back. He always said he had plans whenever i asked if we could hangout (many times) so it got to the point where i couldnt take not seeing him and barely ...
A. 11 August 2006: It will end, I'm afraid, when you put some distance between the two of you. You missed what you two had, but you don't have it any more. He's been a real coward, not even bothering to split up with you, just letting it hang so you eventually get the ... (read in full...)
Am I right for being upset he looks at porn?
Q. ive been with my boyfriend over three years hes cheated on me before and let me down many times promising to change and not sticking to it, hes realy nice to me nicer than any other guy i know and our relationship has been great for a while. h...
A. 10 August 2006: He cheats and lets you down but he's a lot nicer than anyone else? I'm just sorry you've met so many losers! I don't think anyone can change their partner, we can try to tolerate differences and work together on things but it does sound like he does ... (read in full...)
What age do you know?
Q. When is a person/what age is a person ready for a true, intimate, maybe life-long relationship?...
A. 10 August 2006: Sometime in their forties or fifties I reckon.... (read in full...)
What does our gay tomfoolery mean?
Q. I went out with my mate today both 18 and had a really good day together we fool around but are not gay !! We went back to his house and drank loads way too much, didnt know what we were doing really - then all of a suddon we were in bed to...
A. 10 August 2006: Gay and straight aren't set in stone and many, many people experiment at some time outwith their 'regular' sexuality. Don't beat yourself up about it. I'd say talk about it but guess that would be pretty difficult. Do you want it to go further? does ... (read in full...)
How do I treat my ex who lied about why he dumped me?
Q. so what do you think of a guy who breaks it off with you because he realized he didn't need a girlfriend right now even though things with you and him were going real good and then you find out three days later he's going out with someone else? I ...
A. 10 August 2006: Smile, say "hello!" and don't stop. You've moved on. ... (read in full...)
I love him but I can't resist the temptation to cheat on him. Any advice??
Q. hi, I am in a turmoil.I have been with my current boyfriend for about 3 years on and off.I'm 17 and going to university in september, about 2 hours from where i live now. I know that you will all probably start having a go at me, but i have cheated...
A. 10 August 2006: Don't kid yourself, you don't love the guy, you just like the security of having him there to go back to once you've had your fun. How will it be any different in the future or would you keep cheating on him and making him a fool? Do him a favour, ... (read in full...)
How many times do I forgive him!
Q. Please advice - My partner is keeping secrets from me, and I need to know - does not matter how bad. Forgiveness will be given because we have a connection....
A. 10 August 2006: Odd to ask the question if you're also saying you'll forgive anyway. Sounds like you two need to talk.... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for the man who dumped me, but I refuse to chase him!
Q. I am having a tough time deciding what to do about my ex boyfriend. We were together for a long time...nine years but he told me he was not in love and moved to another city and took up with another girl almoat immediately. I guess I thought that ...
A. 10 August 2006: Be strong and move on. It's hard I know but if he's prepared to mess you around this much, he isn't worth it. Personally I'd not be able to trust him again - you responded once but were then rejected. I'd say cut all contact. Sorry.... (read in full...)
I want to "date" this guy even though he just is a friend
Q. I fell in love with a college friend of mine a few years ago, but I never told him. We hung out a lot with other college pals, just as friends. I heard from someone else, though, that he was also very attracted to me but he didn't want to do ...
A. 10 August 2006: I think you should give it a try. Maybe not tell the whole love story the first time you see each other, but perhaps just ask him out and take it from there. If you've still got mutual feelings then it happen naturally between you. It might have ... (read in full...)
My ex couldn't handle having a girlfriend, but I want him back!
Q. I was going out with this guy and a little while later we broke up because he couldn't handle a girlfriend. Now I know he still likes me but he won't go back out with me. So what do I do to get him back?...
A. 10 August 2006: What has changed? Why could he handle having a girlfriend now, if not before? Don't be someone other than yourself to suit a guy - it won't work or last. Move on - don't be available. Sorry.... (read in full...)
Ladies, tell me why you would want to have sex with a man who looks at porn and gets horny over other women?
Q. It is totally incredible to me that some women will still want to have sex with a man who uses porn. Ladies doesn't this make you sick? Why would you want to have sex with a man whos gets horny over other women? I dont understand. To the argueme...
A. 10 August 2006: I'm sorry but I disagree on this one. Men and women generally speaking are wired differently. Women prefer emotional porn - crying at weepy films, love stories etc. Men don't see the attraction in that. The idea that your man should never have a ... (read in full...)
He decided to get engaged to her after only a week, but we were so in love, now he wants to be friends!!
Q. My bf of 1.5 years broke up with me, and got himself engaged to a woman of his parents choice in a week's time... he met this woman and in two days time he decided he wanted to marry her and got engaged in a week. My life has been very, very ...
A. 10 August 2006: I'd say forget the friends idea, it might salve his guilt but it will be much, much harder for you. Put yourself first - he's put his own needs first. I know it's tough but don't be hanging around in the background, available when it suits him else ... (read in full...)
I'd rather not go out. I prefer being at home. Does that make me a bad friend?
Q. Me and my best mate get on really well when we are at school and we love being together. She has a problem with me because I don't like going out at weekends and holidays and to each others' houses and stuff like that. I'm the sort of person who ...
A. 4 August 2006: If you want to stay in then stay in but don't be surprised or indignant if your friend makes new friends and does things with them, excluding you. She's having a go at you because she wants to maintain your friendship and do more. You seem to suit ... (read in full...)
Do women prefer a hairy chest or shaved chest?
Q. what do women prefer, a hairy chest or a shaved chest?...
A. 4 August 2006: If she likes the guy, she won't care.... (read in full...)
Can he get in trouble for getting me pregnant?
Q. I am a 17 year old who is dating a 20 year old, and I want to know if he can get in trouble if he got me pregnant, if my mom knew we were having sex?...
A. 4 August 2006: If you don't want to get pregnant then use contraception. If you don't and end up with an unwanted pregnancy then you'll have a lot more to consider than just mom's reaction.... (read in full...)
What about his history? Can I trust him?
Q. I have just started to see this guy for a week and I have found out that he used to sleep with anything that walked and ended up with a sexual disease, so by then his wife had found out and chucked him out! I'm not sure if I can trust him! What do I ...
A. 4 August 2006: "Used to sleep with anything that walked"??! But he gave all that up when he met you, right ;))... (read in full...)
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