| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: about 3 months ago i cheated on my boyfriend (he is now my ex) and went with a 45 year old man, i am 17, and yes i was drunk and it wasnt supposed to have turned out to be anything more than a one off. but once me and my ex boyfriend had split up he rang me up, and i went with him again, and again, and again, but now i dont know where i stand...one day he will tell me he loves me and wants me to move in with him and everything, he wants us to geta house together, but then sometimes he says little things that annoy me like ah your not my girlfiend and everything, but then he says i am... its really confusing, and then bout a month ago he was drugged up and we had a row and he strangled me and pushed me to the ground and let me walk home on my own, in the dark, pissed up and at 3 in the mornin, what do i do? i am in love with him, but i dont want him to mess me about, i love him with all my heart and in a way i know he loves me a little bit...
View related questions:
cheated on my boyfriend, drunk, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Love this guy or not, he has physically and emotionally abused you.
You really need to see this guy for what he is sooner rather than later. Get out of this relationship before any real damage is done.
I dont think your family would turn their backs on you, they love you and will do whatever they can for your welfare.
This man has shown glimpses of his potential, you will be much happier and safer without him.
A
female
reader, midgetgem +, writes (15 August 2006):
 darlin' get out of this relationship before this man does you some serious damage. He's an abuser, emotionally and physically and the abuse will only get worse if you stay with him.You're only 17, you can do so much better than this. Don't let this man destroy your guture.GET OUT NOW
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni thought i should let you know that my family and friends do not know about this man, its been a secret since it first happened... i dont know whether or not to tell them... it wouldnt be awise decision to tell them because i would end up homeless...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): One other thing:
Victims of the Emotionally/Physically abusive and controling men make the claims..."but I love him" as they believe if they just love him enough...he will be the loving and caring man that he is while in the honeymoon stage.
YOu are a victim of abuse.
Please see this, know this, get strong and leave.
You have so much promise and this man seeks to kill it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): CYCLE OF ABUSE: Honeymoon stage===pent up/ feelings of anger, hate build=== EXPLOSION/ABUSE (verbal, putdowns, slurs, swearing, physical, strangling, mental...attacks on your stability and self love, self awareness) === Apologies,promises (that are never kept)=== Honeymoon====
This man is a very abusive man. Sweetie is also predatory; abusers know who to pick.
Get some individual counseling as well as suggest couples counseling. I believe 45 yr old will see counseling as a threat as it means he has to own up to his abuse as well as sexual attraction to some underaged girl...as well as you getting stronger, wiser; loving yourself more and trusting in yourself more.
Please get strong and cut all ties. Where are your parents and friends? Where are the people to love and care for you???
*hugs*
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou all for your advice, i know i should leave him and i promise i will try, but i do love him more than anything, but you are all right.. i need out, now! thankyou again :) xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, sbw1989 +, writes (13 August 2006):
 I know this is hard to hear, but this guy is a user and a loser. Drugs or no drugs- he physically hurt you, put his hands round your throat, tried to KILL you. No way is that love- NO WAY. I once had a friend who would abuse me, but I was convinced she was my friend. This is no different. In both cases there's no respect, and no love or friendship. This man is a bully. Get away from him- leave him. He does not deserve your attention. The man does not love you, and he is almost 30 years older than you. He is old enough to be your father, but is acting so childishly, grasping onto his long lost youth. That is the only reason he is even giving you the time of day, and he thinks he can push you around. Leave this man- get him out of your life permanently, it's no more than he deserves.If you value your life at all, you will leave him behind.
...............................
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (11 August 2006):
Get away from this guy, he is no good for you. No-one who "loves" or even simply cares about you would strangle you, push you to the ground and leave you to walk home at 3am. Don't make the drugs the reason for this treatment, if anything that's even more reason to get away from him. Forget him, he's too old and has his own problems. This would only lead to more heartache. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, sexylinz +, writes (11 August 2006):
 hi
im sorry to hear about everything that you have gone through. but the best thing that you can do honey is leave him. if he's trying to strangle you (weather he's high or not) its not accepable and not what you deserve.
i know you love him but once you have made that big step and left him it will get easier. if you stay with him the abuse will only get worse as he will think he can get away with it.
he is seriously not worth your time. please please leave him for your own good.
all the best
Linz xxxx
...............................
A
male
reader, badbrit +, writes (11 August 2006):
Apart from the obvious fact that the age difference is going to cause you major problems, there is an important issue here. He strangled you and you still love him and havent left him??
Hello?? you really need to leave this man, he acted in a dangerous way, could have harmed you, showed no regard for your wellbeing and next time may do worse.
If you dont end up dead, you will end up broken and dead inside with no respect for yourself.
Find someone nearer your own age, and someone who will treat you with the respect and love we all deserve
...............................
|
