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... Send *ica a private message | | | *ica's profile:I am older and wiser! If only the current me had been around to give the younger me some much-needed advice .. not that I would have listened anyway. As a teenager (and beyond) I thought that sex'n'drugs'rock'n'roll were the best goals in life .. how wrong I was. Ok for light relief but not to be pursued as a lifestyle. |
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If I was her current boyfriend I would be put off by the way she is behaving!!!
Q. Hey guys, I didn't get a lot of response to this one (thanks for the advice for those who did). Thought I'd ask again, still driving me a bit nuts... I'm still in love with my ex girlfriend and we hang out on occasion even though she has a boyfri...
A. 25 October 2006: Hmm .. why did you two split up? To be honest I think you need to get over her, get some distance. What's her new relationship to you? If you had been so great together you wouldn't have split up and she wouldn't be with someone else. Suspect this ... (read in full...)
What are good romantic background music to play while making love? Any tips?
Q. when you have sex is it better to have romantic music on in the background? if it is why? and what songs would you have on?...
A. 25 October 2006: Sounds like you are looking for a recipe for seduction. Ther is no one-size-fits-all I'm afraid. You should think about what your partner likes and how to make them feel comfortable, relaxed. There's nothing worse than a guy "casually" putting on ... (read in full...)
Are we or aren't we ...together? He acts like we are but says "No we aren't". I'm confused!
Q. Dear Cupids, Been seeing a guy for nearly two months, I am 25 him 29. We have been getting on really well, sex is good, we have a laugh together and there doesn't seem to be any awkwardness. We have been seeing each other a couple of ti...
A. 23 October 2006: Can see why you are confused .. sounds like you are together. You maybe caught him off-guard. Some guys just don't like to talk about It and are better judged on their actions. Don't beat yourself up about "ruining" things - you did the right thing ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and never had a boyfriend!!!
Q. i'm a 15 year old. i've never had a boyfriend and all my other friends do. i'm quite jealous. but i'm so afraid to go up to guys and it's much harder because i go to a girls school. i really want a boyfriend but i don't think that i'm attractive in ...
A. 23 October 2006: Sam Teasdale, please don't hit on 15 year olds here regardless of what age you are. You could be some creepy old guy .. poster, send no photos.
... (read in full...)
I am getting the silent treatment because of finances. Please help.
Q. Last night, i had an argument with my fiancee over money issues about our new house that we are moving in to in 2 months time. She said she was afraid I was turning into this person who always thinks and worries about what Im paying for the whole ti...
A. 23 October 2006: Different attitudes to money can put a real strain on a relationship, especially if one expects the other to continally pay more. I read somewhere that it's one of the main causes of arguments. I hate to say this but I think you should stick to your ... (read in full...)
Why is it that the women I try to talk to..are so cold and rude to me? What should I do?
Q. why is it that i find that many girls are so cold towards me...can someone ( preferably female) tell me if these scenarios are normal ? 1)I like to say hi or smile to girls in the street, but they rudely walk by without saying hi back. 2)Or i...
A. 23 October 2006: Do men always acknowledge door-holding or do you not bother about them anyway? Have to be brutal, the hitting on strangers in the street is quite creepy; if you are in a constant trying-to-pick-up mode you are probably giving off a rather ... (read in full...)
Should I visit the doc before I do it?
Q. Do I have to or is it a good idea to go to a female sexual health doctor before having sex? so they can do anything they may need to do...tests...prep me for anything...etc. Also I'm nervous I don't want to go to my boyfriend "um...i heard this ky ...
A. 17 October 2006: Expressions like 'hurt' and 'ripping hymens' (!!) are a bit unnecessarily .. if you are fully in the mood it will be uncomfortable but nowhere near what people might suggest. Also, actually having intercourse is a totally unfamiliar sensation. If ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends dad keeps flirting with me!!!
Q. Im a 19 year old girl, and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, basically the problem is that his father(53) flirts with me, well i think he does. The only problem is that my boyfriend always suggests that im the one leading his dad on and ...
A. 17 October 2006: I definitely think you need some distance here - touching and tickling are not on for a start. You think it doesn't mean anything - sounds as if it does to him. That's maybe why your boyfriend has tried to warn you off. Be less available and don't ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to not want to carry a child myself and have a host mother do it for me??
Q. Ok This is a weird question- But is it morally wrong to want to have a host mother have your kid instead of you having your kid( ie your usbands sperm with your own egg, but another woman carries it till birth?) Even if you are slightly infertile ...
A. 16 October 2006: If you haven't got time to be pregnant how can you possibly have time to have a child?? Don't do it.... (read in full...)
She doesn't seem to want to know us when she is hanging around with her other friend!!
Q. my best friend and I are both 16. Lately, things have been getting weird with us because she started hanging out with this other girl. My other friends and I notice that when this girl is around, my friend more or less ignores us or goes off with ...
A. 15 October 2006: It's what teenage girls do, sorry, I remember it well. You can't make things go back to how they were before. Your friend and the 'other girl' want to have their own group and you'll just have to let them - you've invited them and they didn't want ... (read in full...)
I don't drink because I don't want to and yet my friends and boyfriend won't stop going on about it!
Q. I'm 17 and have recently been feeling a LOT of pressure to drink alcohol lately. This pressure has been coming from many people at my part time work (most of them are over 18- the legal drinking age in australi), one of my close friends and my ...
A. 15 October 2006: Because you are making a stand about it - and good for you - people will take that as a challenge and want you to drink all the more. It might be better to play this down - even say "tried it but didn't like it". Stick to your guns, not everyone ... (read in full...)
I graduated 2 years ago but I'm still in love with my gym teacher! Will fate ever bring us together?
Q. i graduated 2 years ago from highschool and in my sophmore year i fell in love with my gym teacher. we always would talk, not on a intimate basis, but we have deeep convos about anything. i really trust him..and when we talk he looks deep into my ...
A. 15 October 2006: I think 'fate' is pretty over-rated. Is life really all written in a book somewhere? People just use it as an excuse to go out and do what they please regardless of the consequences. You know the answer. he's older, married and not for you. Makes me ... (read in full...)
When someone is drunk are they likely to be more honest or to lie? What do you think?
Q. When someone is drunk are they likely to be more honest or to lie?...
A. 15 October 2006: There's an expression I've heard, 'pub talk', which is really an acknowledgement that things said under the influence have some basis in fact but if they aren't expressed in more sober circumstances are unlikely to become real. For example, people ... (read in full...)
He is just so set in his ways that he buries his head and pretends it's not happening!!!
Q. I have been married to a nice man for 15 years. "nice" is the word everyone uses to describe him but this includes a bit boring maybe. he is 10 years older, I was young when we met, and I was already feeling a bit dissatisfied in that I am havin a ...
A. 15 October 2006: I think you need to get to the bottom of the financial issue. It doesn't sound good at all and may well be the reason your husband is burying his head in the sand. If you can't get him to talk, perhaps you should get legal advice. Good luck.... (read in full...)
How do I ask her for a sex only relationship??
Q. i want to embark on a sex-only relationship with a girl i know. how should i introduce this concept to her?...
A. 15 October 2006: Wow, you're some catch. (Are you for real??)... (read in full...)
I've been reading this book about how to talk to women and the things that are a no are how I am!!!
Q. Im currently reading a book 'How to talk to women' The co authors seem to know a lot about this as they seem to have done many years research. They talk a lot about how you should not take the mick about yourself when joking with women as it ...
A. 15 October 2006: How to talk to women?? Hmm .. how to make money from unsure young men ;)) Seriously, by all means try to increase your own confidence but don't feel you need a particular kind of personality to attract women. We're all different and so are men. Be ... (read in full...)
I want to leave him but I can't...what can I do???
Q. Hi my name is steph, please please3 help me!! ive been with my boyfriend for bout nearly two years. im only 17 and iv just moved fom hull to lincoln with him, i havent got no family or friends here. I feel like i want to leave him! well i have done ...
A. 15 October 2006: I'd guess you feel bad about admitting that you've made this big change and it's gone wrong. There is nothing to be ashamed of in that - we've all learned from your mistakes. Put your worries about him aside - if he's hit you he's not worth it. The ... (read in full...)
He says he will leave me if I don't have sex with him....I'm a virgin!!!
Q. I am going out with this guy, he is 18 and I am 16. I really love him. A LOT. We've been going out for about three months. He wants to have sex, but I don't. I am a virgin and I am kinda scared. He says he's gonna leave me if I didn't give him what ...
A. 15 October 2006: Anyone who says "I love you" and then "but I'll leave you if you don't do X for me" (especially sex, especially to a virgin) is a major loser and does not care about you. Please, please listen to the replies here and take heed. I know you think you ... (read in full...)
Two lumps on my penis and I have no idea what they are! Any advice?
Q. I have two lumps on my penis, but they are both very very different lumps but I have no idea what they are. One is just near the top, very hard, under the skin but it doesn't feel like it is attached inside, i've had it for about 3 years about 2 ...
A. 15 October 2006: David L is right, please do go to your doctor. I know it's embarrassing, but if you see a man he really will have seen one before ;)) They are professional people who will understand your concerns and deal with you appropriately and also I think be ... (read in full...)
How do you ask someone why they are acting weird without causing offence?
Q. There was someone at work that I asked out but he decided against it due to the fact that we worked together, however it started a mutual friendship. The thing is that he left work for another company and I thought our frienship was growing but as ...
A. 15 October 2006: I don't think he's being weird as such, he seems more to be staying clear of giving you any indication that he's interested in you. You say the second 'asking-out' was casual but he may well have thought that you'd want more, given your history. You ... (read in full...)
We think our friend was raped but she's refusing proper medical testing, to be sure! How do we talk her into this?
Q. my friend was out last friday night and suffered a really bad beating that has left her unrecognizable basically whoever did this to her left her for dead, she was left lying in a waste ground for 3hrs unconcious when she was found she had no ...
A. 14 October 2006: You are being good friends and that's great. I suggest contacting a rape crisis organisation for advice on how to handle this - I'm sure they wil be glad to help you. I hope your pal gets the medical attention she needs; keep supporting her.... (read in full...)
I think of him all the time...is this a crush or what?
Q. hi im 15 and whats wrong wiv me!?! im not sure if i have ever fancied someone cos basically... i have a mate thats a boy and we are quite good friends. the thing is i have started to think about him when im not with him all the time, and i mean ALL...
A. 14 October 2006: You are attracted to him. The fact that you don't like "his looks" means nothing really - you still like him, yo're looking past that. Which is a good sign as you must like him as a person rather than just an image. Personally I think "in love" is a ... (read in full...)
He's unhappily married and wants me to give him "a happy ending"! What should I do with this guy??
Q. a man that I really like wrote me a letter which was vague and said "that he wanted a happy ending". I know that he is unhappily married, and like him too but would never want to break up a marriage. He ended the letter with " p.s Don't forget the ...
A. 14 October 2006: I think you'll have to ask him (and then tell us!). He could mean that he wants to be friends with you but nothing more - it's friendly but an ending. Anyway, he's married, get your own happy ending.... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but when I do have sex I want it to be good!
Q. Im still a virgin, but when i do have sex i want to be good if that makes any sense. can anyone give me some advic on how to wow him?...
A. 14 October 2006: I wouldn't worry about wowing him, sex isn't a test - if it feels like one then you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Take it slow, enjoy petting without intercourse for a while so you are relaxed with each other. Then full sex will be more of ... (read in full...)
Would having sex with my married male friend...change things between us? If so, how?
Q. To those people who answered my question about 'how im friends with a married guy', to me its not really a 'sexually thing' as such but i dont know. But i definatly dont call it an affair because im not cheating on anyone, so how can u call it an ...
A. 14 October 2006: You are kidding yourself. I am friends with a lot of married guy and I've never seen their genitals. That's hardly a 'friendly' thing. It's sexual, end of story. Sounds a bit like that famous guy who tried to convince the world that oral sex didn't ... (read in full...)
Why does he not answer? Is he really my "boyfriend"?
Q. Do you think that you can call a guy your boyfriend, if you only see him about once a week, he doesn't call you rarly, and same goes for txt messages pretty much? And when i do try to call him, he answers it maybe 1 out of every 10 calls i make to ...
A. 14 October 2006: Regardless of what you call him, it doesn't look like he's that interested and you obviously want more. I think if you want to keep seeing him you'd be best to play it down to others and not take it very seriously.... (read in full...)
His ex wife can't get over the split from my bf and calls him constantly. What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend's ex-wife calls him constantly! They have no kids together, no property. He gave her $30K to move. She now lives in GA. We are in FL. We are planning to move in together. She cannot get over him and calls his cell 3x a day (sometimes ...
A. 13 October 2006: She keeps calling because she knows he'll call back. Get the cats to her (safely!) and any other of her property, tell her the hard truth and change all your numbers. Anything else is just dragging it out. Why won't he let go?? He'd be doing her a ... (read in full...)
His ex gf claims to be pregnant with my bf's child! She only did this because she hates me..what should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half we have a 8month year old son. Hes 36 and im 22, I love him dearly he has an ex girl friend (10 year relat) that harrasses him all day long stalks him and unfortunately he cant shake her off no ...
A. 13 October 2006: Sorry, it does sounds like a bad situation to deal with, having his child and all, but I think you are letting him away with too much .. the "business he owns is in her name"?? She is "being difficult"? so he handles it by sleeping with her. Most ... (read in full...)
Will he know I am a virgin?
Q. heya this lad im seeing thinks im not a virgin! but i only told him iv had sex twice b4, will he know im a virgin or not? ...
A. 13 October 2006: If he's a virgin too, or even just inexperienced, then he may well not know! Yos is totally right - you shouldn't lie about your virginity. It's something you only have once so don't feel you need to deny it or throw it away. Don't feel obliged to ... (read in full...)
Is he just playing me or is he genuinely confused!?
Q. Is he just playing games to intentionally hurt me? I Was in a relationship for 6 months with the love of my life, but we split up out of the blue because he was scared of falling in love with me and wanted to be single (even though it was hi...
A. 13 October 2006: I bet he does seem sincere, sounds like he's had lots of practice ;)) When you don't want him, he pulls on you, then when he has you, he doesn't want you. Even if it's not intentional - just convenient - I agree he doesn't seem to know what he ... (read in full...)
How do I know if a guy isn't going to use me?
Q. How do I know if a guy isn't going to use me? I'm a virgin (18) and I'll save you the whole male/daddy issues I've got, but practially I've been in several relationships where the guy has had to break up or I've broken up becuase I just can't trust ...
A. 13 October 2006: I agree that a counsellor could be a good idea. I don't think the net is a good place for strong stuff .. counsellors at least should be trained and experienced, unlike the general net population ;) Good luck.... (read in full...)
I love this guy, but the death of a gf he loved, haunts him! What can I do?
Q. My on/off boyfriend fell in love when he was 13 and was in a relationship for two years with this girl. While they were still going out he had to watch her die as she was hit by a bus. This has seriously screwed with his head as you can imagine. I ...
A. 13 October 2006: Aside from his past, he's an 18 year old guy and not necessarily ready/wanting a long-term relationship anyway... I really don't think you can do anything to change the situation, sounds like a lot of girls have tried ;) If he's off/on as it suits ... (read in full...)
Should I take the plunge and ask him out ?
Q. I've meet this great looking guy,he works at a club i go to as a barman,i went there other evening and when i went up to the bar his eyes lit up when he saw me. my friends started calling my name out when he came round to collect our glasses.so i ...
A. 6 October 2006: There's no real need to rush into asking him out if you can potentially see him regularly at his work. Get to know him first. Just chat, be friendly. In a short time it shold be clear if you've got potential - then think about taking it further. ... (read in full...)
14, got really drunk, and fooled around with my best friends man while my BF and her were downstairs...
Q. Fourteen, and in major trouble. Saturday night i got really drunk, like really out of it. And i ended up in a room with my best friends boyfriend. She was downstairs with my boyfriend talking about me, while i was getting licked out and giving h...
A. 6 October 2006: So don't do it again. In fact, give up the sex and the drinking - although you've already said you don't stoop to that with younger guys. PS why keep telling us your age? Could it possibly not be 14 after all?... (read in full...)
I was offended when this guy told me I had big breasts!
Q. hi im 16 and i told my boy mate that i fancied one of his mates for a joke lol. and my boy mate went up to his mate and said will you go out with her? Then he said no cos it was all sorta like a joke between us. Then my boy mate asked another boy ...
A. 5 October 2006: You were understandably offended because he said something stupid and personal. He's your mate so you'll know if he's generally decent - if so, he might feel bad now that he blurted that out. If he is a good friend you could mention it and clear the ... (read in full...)
Horrible thoughts about something I did as a kid. Any advice on how to cope?
Q. Ever since my ex boyfriend i have been getting unwanted sexual thoughts about anyone. I would never ever act on it but i even get them for a kid i babysit who is 1. I think i only get them for him though because when i was 5-7 i got on top of ...
A. 5 October 2006: I think you need to talk to someone but honestly my love, if that's all that happened then I say you were just a kid experimenting. You didn't hurt anyone, I bet they've forgotten it anyway. Stop beating yourself up about it and I think it'd be best ... (read in full...)
Gf broke up with and I want to sort things out. Who should make the first move?
Q. hi, if your girl friend breaks up with you and you want to sort things out who should approach each other first...
A. 5 October 2006: Sorry I disagree with everyone else. She broke up with you, she can come and ask you back if she wants. She knew you still wanted to see her when she broke it off. If she doesn't get in touch, she doesn't want to.... (read in full...)
I suggested we have sex in the office, she turned me down, but has done similar with others ? Am I just being selfish ?
Q. Me and my Girlfriend have been living together now for almost 3 months and one day she came down to my work with my and the place was completely empty and no one was expected to arrive either, so i wanted to have sex (you kno something exciting keep ...
A. 5 October 2006: For whatever reason she didn't want to. (Why do men always think it's periods?!) Perhaps she couldn't feel relaxed that day, that time (a workplace can be pretty unpredictable). A "valid point" would imply that she should have had sex with you just ... (read in full...)
She finished with me out of the blue, then her mum called the police, I was arrested for harrasment, I didnt do anything.. please help!!!!!
Q. My ex girlfriend finished with me out of the blue so i called her but he mum got me arrested for harrasment for leaving 7 missed calls. Now i can't talk to her until she talks to me or i get arrested and i know she wont talk to me. I have done ...
A. 5 October 2006: She might not have met someone else, it might just not have been working out for her. So she finished it and she feels bad about hurting you which is why she's now more scared to face you. Best to cool off. You don't need to have done "anything ... (read in full...)
I like him but he already has a gf! How do I let him know how I feel?
Q. I currently work with a great guy- friendly, easygoing, great manners, etc. I used to just be friendly with him but now my feelings for him have started to change, and I don't know what to do. The hitch is that one of my co-workers told me he has a ...
A. 5 October 2006: Aunts below are correct. Also, you don't want to make the workplace a difficult place to be for both of you. Leave well alone.... (read in full...)
The guy I like is engaged but he likes me - how do I get him to leave her for me?
Q. I met this guy who was engaged and we were good mates. He told me wasn't happy with his girlfriend and didnt really want to marry her, he told me he really liked and kissed me said he couldnt leave her coz he will lose his house. I really like him ...
A. 5 October 2006: Get a bigger house than she has, sounds like he'll come running then.
Seriously, forget him. He realises a lot more than you think so stay clear of him.... (read in full...)
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