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... Send *ica a private message | | | *ica's profile:I am older and wiser! If only the current me had been around to give the younger me some much-needed advice .. not that I would have listened anyway. As a teenager (and beyond) I thought that sex'n'drugs'rock'n'roll were the best goals in life .. how wrong I was. Ok for light relief but not to be pursued as a lifestyle. |
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I think my house is infested with fleas...how do I get rid of them?
Q. I think my house is infested with some kind of fly or flea, me and my family are constantly being bitten. Anyone got any tips on how to get rid of them?...
A. 24 November 2006: You can now get an electronic pet comb which zaps fleas and saves the hassle of lotions and potions and stressed out animals .. if you use it over a few days then you can stop the cycle because they are not getting time to breed (yuck). Most pets ... (read in full...)
Iquickly kissed my fiancee's workmate...should I tell my fiancee or not?
Q. Should I tell my fiance or not? Last night my partners work mate came over so I could keep him company, as he has recently split from his girlfriend. I was very tipsy, and a sympathy hug ended in a kiss on the lips, it was very quick and it was only ...
A. 24 November 2006: I say let it go it if was just a quick affectionate peck. Chances are that once told it could get way more significance that it deserves. It doesn't sound like you had any intentions towards the guy so don't beat yourself up. ... (read in full...)
I've asked her out twice but she keeps saying no, but i really want her!
Q. there is a girl at my school and i want to go out with her, ive fancied her for a while now and ive asked her out twice both ending with the bad word no. i want to show my love for her but if i do and she says no i dont know what to do....
A. 24 November 2006: People are trying to say that she's just playing hard to get. I'm going to be harder and suggest that she isn't interested. You should move on and try to meet other girls but not because you want to keep the first girl interested. You should move on ... (read in full...)
Saw my ex, gave him a blow job, and he still wants to talk - does he want me back?
Q. Me and my ex are friends, but he called me to meet up yesterday, and it turned out he'd split with his girlfriend. After a lot of flirting he ended up kissing me and from there it went to nipple licking etc. He asked for a blow job, which I gave ...
A. 24 November 2006: Analyse his behaviour? Well, he asked for a bj & got it. Having split with his girlfriend he had no immediate prospects of that happening so he's pleased that you agreed and will likely want one again so he's happy enough to chat vaguely about ... (read in full...)
I'm paranoid about this mark... was it lipstick on his collar?
Q. I am in a relationship with someone for about a year. I realize that i have insecurity and trust issues with him. Although in the past he has not given me any reason to not trust him, I developed a habit of looking through his cell phone to see who ...
A. 24 November 2006: No-one here can tell you that a stain you saw some time ago on your boyfriend's collar was or wasn't another woman's lipstick. What everyone picked up on and responded to is that these fears are making you unhappy. Please address that. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I have a long distance bf who I love a lot! Have apprehensions about moving to him...help me!
Q. I really need your help! I am in love with my best friend who lives ages away from me! He lives like about 12-14 hours drive which equals to about a 2 hour plane trip. I have felt this way about him for quite a while now. Since about July I think....
A. 24 November 2006: I don't think that at your age you should reroute your life - i.e. move - for a relationship. You haven't known each other that long, if I'm reading correctly, just a few months. I know you have strong feelings for each other and it's hard but you ... (read in full...)
Does she fancy me back?
Q. I am in abit of a difficult situation with a girl from work, in the way that i am absolutely crazy about her. i am 30 and she is 20 and we flirt all the time, we have been for about 4 months now. We are always sharing long glances from across the ...
A. 24 November 2006: Does anyone ever get any work done? Sounds like an awful environment - I guess that you two are the entertainment just now but that anyone and everyone is a target. If you get another job you can ask her out when you leave. Until then, maybe you ... (read in full...)
Everytime I talk to her she takes it the wrong way
Q. I just want to try this out before I register. I am having a problem and I am not really sure what to put it under. I will try to explain it as best I can. I have a "friend", well I am trying all I can to be friends with her. Without saying ...
A. 24 November 2006: Does she know that you're just being nice for his sake? I think that may well come across as totally fake, if she knows you'd rather not bother. If you do have to talk, at least be real - I'd not bother showering her with compliments, that's just as ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of a crush I know I shouldn't have?
Q. hey guys I'm 17 and about a year ago I got a "forbidden crush" on someone that is older than me (mid 20's?) just because he is so mature and nice and always greets me with a hello and smile. I am well aware he is married with a baby. I've neve...
A. 24 November 2006: All the way through life you wil be attracted to people who are unavailable. This can happen even when you are with someone. There are always things we can't have and if you accept from the start that married or attached men are off limits then you ... (read in full...)
I'm paranoid about this mark... was it lipstick on his collar?
Q. I am in a relationship with someone for about a year. I realize that i have insecurity and trust issues with him. Although in the past he has not given me any reason to not trust him, I developed a habit of looking through his cell phone to see who ...
A. 24 November 2006: You said it yourself, you have trust and insecurity issues. You need to get these addressed. You should not be routinely checking someone else's phone trying to catch him out. Please get counselling.... (read in full...)
I am female and over six foot tall! I'm insecure about it. Tell me-- Do men find tall women attractive?
Q. This is a stupid question, but I am very insecure as I am so tall. I am six foot and tower over people, especially when I wear heels. I am very slim and used to be a model so everyone thinks I am so confident, but the truth is I hate it so much. I ...
A. 23 November 2006: Being tall is the significant physical thing about you - if you weren't tall then it would be some other feature and you could be just as insecure about that. I bet the small dainty women are looking at you and envying your size. I can understand ... (read in full...)
Update: My husband who left me for a much younger woman...should I confront this woman?
Q. i would just like to thank the people who took the time to answer my worries on my husband left me for a girl 15 years younger . and to say yes i do have kids but they dont know about this because im hoping to get back with him. i love and miss him ...
A. 23 November 2006: I agree with the other aunts, why target the girl? She didn't leave you, she doesn't know you. To her you are just some anyonymous woman. This is obviously a horrible situation for you but your husband is the person who has let you down. Don't let ... (read in full...)
She says I am more like her best friend than her bf. What should I do?
Q. Hi there, what should a guy do when his girlfriend mentions every few days that he feels like her best friend and not a boyfriend?...
A. 23 November 2006: She's certainly hinting at something - ask her what she means.... (read in full...)
It's been 11 months since we broke up and I'm still having a hard time!
Q. its been 11 months now from i split up from my ex boyfriend of 4 years and i just cant seem to come to terms with it that we are no longer together. I have my good days but mostly i am depressed and hurt with the fact that he has moved on and i am ...
A. 23 November 2006: There's a book "It's called a Break-up Because It's Broken" which I'd recommend you read. It's sole aim is to help you get over a break-up and it's funny and kind too. Have a look, hope it perks you up. You do need to move on. FYI there is no ... (read in full...)
No period since September..am I bloated or pregnant? What should I do?
Q. I stopped taking the pill at the end of Sept, i had a period but this was only for one day. Ever since i have been using condoms. My problem is I haven't had a period since. My stomach is getting bigger but i think that could just be where I am ...
A. 23 November 2006: A pregnant woman doesn't start to "show" - i.e. her stomach gets bigger - until 3 or 4 months of three pregnancy have passed. I think it's unlikely that you are pregnant and that your body is just responding to the change in your hormone. I think ... (read in full...)
We split up 16 weeks ago and I am struggling. Any good advice to helping myself is appreciated!
Q. Hello, its 16 weeks since my husband of 7 years and I split up, I wasnt expecting it and have really struggled although my friends and family have been very supportive. I havent cried now for 2 weeks, even though he is on my mind constantly and I ...
A. 18 November 2006: You're doing the right things, keep doing them. I think he'll be on your mind a bit longer but that is normal; you can't just cut out the memories. I don't think you should feel any obligation to do anything at Christmas - hiding away needn't be ... (read in full...)
I'm not ugly, I'm not fat, I have a good personality. Why is no one interested in me?.
Q. Recently, I've noticed that I cannot get a boyfriend at all. My friends always have guys trying to be in relationships with them, and this makes me jealous. Everyone tells me to wait, I'll find someone soon but in my opinion, I don't think I wi...
A. 18 November 2006: You say you want "a boyfriend" because all your friends have once. That's not the basis for a relationship - there needs to be mutual attraction, not just a vacancy. Try to put it out of your mind and concentrate on studying / working and enjoying ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on an employee of a rival company!
Q. I am a successful hard-working journalist but I have gotten a hopeless crush on a rival at another paper. He's so hunky and in the newspaper there's lots of photos of him wearing a nice scarf standing by a bus stop. If I ever went out with h...
A. 17 November 2006: Are you for real?? "Hunky"?? Scarf and bus-stop?
Why not pitch the idea - just an idea, obviously - as the basis for an article? See how everyone takes it. You'll soon get the gist.
No, I think someone somewhere is having a little joke ;)... (read in full...)
Is the strength of my feelings for him a Bad Thing?
Q. There's a guy that I'm crazy about, and however much I tell myself he's just another guy and I don't need him when I'm not with him, just to look at him or him to say one word to me and I seem to just surrender to him. I'd do anything for him even ...
A. 17 November 2006: He has control because you give it to him. The fact that you are questoning this is a good sign though. I suspect there's a self-esteem issue involved .. somehow, how you feel about yourself is tied into how he feels about you. You're looking for ... (read in full...)
Madly in love, but Im scared of letting him know?
Q. hi this guy iv been madly inlove with for ova 5 years, hes a bit of a player and all the girls love him. we joke about alot txting and i think he likes me to. but i scared of letting him know i like him incase he doesnt like me in the same way. he ...
A. 17 November 2006: Honestly? He's a waste of your affection. He's stringing you along - maybe some night he'll be interested but you'll just be another conquest. If he was interested in you he'd make way more effort but it sounds like he is totally playing the field ... (read in full...)
We're both in bad marriages and cheating on our spouses, but I'm not sure of his true feelings...
Q. I am married and also in a relationship with a married man. Our spouses are very much alike, so we can relate to each other. We are both in bad marriages, but do not want to punish our children by divorce. This has been going on over 2 years. I am ...
A. 17 November 2006: I think you are both using each other as an escape from your marriages. That said, there's no guarantee you'd be together were the spouses to magically disappear - in fact, that tends not to happen. First, stop seeing him. Second, attempt to fix ... (read in full...)
In a relationship for 6 years and I'm fed up with doing everything! What can I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship for six years. I'm getting fed up of doing everything around the house, but when I mention it he always has an answer which I can't argue with. He also has a mother who constantly calls. She is ill but I feel as if she ...
A. 17 November 2006: He might not "mean" it but he also might not know any other way to be with you. Once roles in a relationship are established they can be hard to break, i.e. you do everything around the house and he runs after his mother. What if you stopped doing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend puts me down and now i believe it
Q. Lately my b/f has made comments about my hairstyle, stating that I never change it - or my eyebrows (he thinks they're too thick). So while we were visiting family out of town, I went to the salon one day, got my eyebrows waxed, got highlights in ...
A. 16 November 2006: I don't know if you will ever be able to please him - sounds like he'll just the move goalposts whenever you try. He may well get a kick out of seeing you try and fail though. Perhaps best to leave him to deal with these issues himself, sorry.... (read in full...)
He broke up with me, but still wants sex! It's really messing with my head.
Q. my boyfriend of 2 years has recently told me he doesnt want a girlfriend any more. Im heartbroken nothing serious has happened he just said he wants to spend time with his mates. He says he is getting older and doesnt wants to do stuff and its not ...
A. 16 November 2006: You should be totally unavailable to him. Don't allow yourself to be downgraded from girlfriend to casual sex provider. And as he's made this suggestion I'd say don't consider getting back with him at all in future.... (read in full...)
I'm falling for someone else and can't bring myself to end it with my current bf!
Q. I dont know what to do. I'm in a bit of a rut with my current boyfriend. I've been with him since I was only 15 and I'm now 19. I feel like I've out grown the relationship and hes done some things in the past that i cant get over. The problem is ...
A. 14 November 2006: Sorry but you don't stay in a relationship because he has nowhere to go, you can't afford it and your other guy might not work out. Do you plan to spend your entire life with him? It doesn't sound like you want to be with him for its own sake. Sorry ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends ex-wife is still calling him up all the time and it's upsetting me!
Q. Hello, I would like some advice about ways to deal with my boyfriends ex-wife. She filed for divorce and has regretted it ever since. They have been divorced for two years now. They have two boys together (8 and 5). My boyfriend and I have bee...
A. 14 November 2006: She's a single mother with two young boys. That's pretty hard. Do you think she should just get own with it herself? It's about responsibility. And so what if she dresses up .. don't you? You know, maybe it's actually not all about you. Kids take a ... (read in full...)
I'm bisexual..I like a girl but I fancy this guy a lot! What should I do?
Q. hi everyone, i have a few problems, first Me and my boyfriend have been going out a month, I really love him problem is im Bi-Sexual! my best friend who is my also still my Girlfriend knows about him, she doesnt mind, it just a bit of fun when we ...
A. 13 November 2006: Being bisexual isn't an excuse to fancy everyone. I'm not clear what your problem is unless it's that you don't know who to sleep with next. I guess that's up to you as long as everyone else is as casual about it and isn't expecting more of a ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my fiance and now she's devastated. I feel so guilty. What now?
Q. Hi, I feel so bad i just want to die somewhere alone. I got engaged to my girlfriend because she loves me to death and i thought that i would grow to feel the same way. I broke up on Friday the 10th three weeks before our marriage. She's complete...
A. 13 November 2006: Better than marrying and regretting. You did a brave thing and you did the right thing. I also think though you should cut all contact with her, for both your sakes.... (read in full...)
We used to be like rabbits, now there's hardly any sex. I think it may be because of someone else!
Q. Sex with my girl has gone off. when i got with my girl 13 month's ago the first 6 month's was like 2 bunny's on heat all the time fucking very night doggy, on top everything and after the 6 month's past it droped alot to 6 time's a month (not good ...
A. 13 November 2006: Have you actually been notching the bedpost each time? Hope she finds someone new, now that she's got over her miscarriage and depression, which seem to have inconvenienced you.... (read in full...)
I'm 16-he's 28 and he confuses me! Not sure if he's really interested or just stringing me along?
Q. hi! well...ive recently got this new job which ive been at for a few weeks now. When i first started i connected really well with my supervisor, actually i just thought we were friends who just made jokes and acted silly. But one night at work i s...
A. 12 November 2006: He's quite a bit older so he's much more experienced than you but more significantly he's your supervisor - to be honest you should avoid getting involved with him while you work there. It would be better to make friends with the other girls. And on ... (read in full...)
I'm 17, She's 14 and I like her but she is pushing me away.
Q. hi im 17 i was seeing a girl that is 14 but when i was seeing her she was acting wierd i asked her what it was it took me a bit off time but i got it out off her and she said she just whats to be mates but we can still flirt but i dont think that is ...
A. 12 November 2006: Sounds like she's a kid who has got out of her depth with you. You're getting a mixed message because she doesn't really know what she's doing. She wants to please you, hence the sexual contact, as she thinks that is what you expect. I think you'd ... (read in full...)
I think women need to stand up to the men who insist on using porn..what do you all think?
Q. How bloody stupid can some men be????? Despite the fact women are telling them over and over again porn is degrading and unacceptable (as they obviously dont have the intelligence to work that out by themselves) they still persist in trying t...
A. 12 November 2006: Apparently dirty pictures have been around since the printing press was first invented - what a surprise! - but I fear Yos has a very good point about internet porn now setting expectations - 14 year old boys wanting anal sex and the girls to shave ... (read in full...)
She dumps all her problems on me and I'm sick of it! Any tips on what I should do?
Q. Hey guys. I have a 'friend' that rings me everynight telling me her problems. The thing is, it takes up my whole night and I don't want to tell her because how can I say that to someone who has rang me for advice. I'd introduce her to dearcupid...
A. 12 November 2006: Is she actually your friend - have you friends in the past and she has changed? Or is she just leaning on you just now? I think you've put in a supreme effort so far but you can't fix her. Perhaps you need to tell her that. I'm unclear as to whether ... (read in full...)
Broke up with this guy based on little things that didn't add up...did I do the right thing?
Q. Okay, i've been seeing this great guy for about a month now. I just got out of a 2 year relationship about 3 months ago. I'm not sure if i'm not ready to date or not but I just ended things with the new guy based on little things that "added up".I ...
A. 12 November 2006: You're maybe just not ready - potential guy, wrong time. That happens. The little things annoying you could just be your way of getting out of the situation. Whatever it was, you've done the thing you knew to be right for you and with relationships ... (read in full...)
He thinks I am always lying and he's paranoid! Should I break up with him?
Q. I live with my boyfriend, I love him, but I can't be with him anymore. Lately he's been acting crazy. Accussing me of doning terrible things. Whether it's having orgies when he's not home to doing hard drugs with our friends. I can't handel his ...
A. 12 November 2006: Actually I think he could be suffering from some kind of mental illness. The behaviour you've described goes way beyond the everyday insecurities that we all have to some extent. Do other people see a change in his behaviour? Can you speak to a ... (read in full...)
I am an 18 year old female..slept with 15 guys since I was 14...Is that a lot of people for my age?
Q. im 18 years old. iv slept with 15 guys. 6 were 1 nite stands i lost my virginity aged 14 4 were relationships I only used protection with 5 of these.The rest pulled out. Do u think that it is a lot of people for my age!!????I dont dare have a...
A. 11 November 2006: I'm curious as to why you are asking. If aunts say yes, what will happen?? I guess what matters most is the context. Do a lot of them know each other? Did you do it because you wanted the sexual contact itself or because you wanted their approval, ... (read in full...)
I like this guy that my friend likes to and I think he likes me!
Q. hi i am 15 and i like this 20 yar old we talk all the time and we get on really well but the thing is that i think he is to old for me. My mates say that it doesnt really mater what age they are. He tells me that he is in to me and that he fancys me ...
A. 11 November 2006: rnb is totally right. I say too that age doesn't matter but attitude does and this guy is no good for you or your friend. You don't need a 20 year old using you for phone sex. Stop doing it, stop contact with him, he is using you all the way down ... (read in full...)
He treats me badly! But I don't think I can love another guy...please help me understand?
Q. Hi! Am really having a hard time...the thing is after all what I've been through I realized that I choose wrong and eventually it turns against me and I get to be the 1 tht suffers! Anyways 2 cut it short, I've had a bf since Febr. and we've been g...
A. 11 November 2006: What if he does talk to you? It will just be the same, nothing new. He isn't going to change into the guy you want him to be. Please listen to your friends, move on from him. He really isn't worth it. Sounds like he has his own problems so leave him ... (read in full...)
My parents are overprotective, what can I do?
Q. help i am nearly 18 and i have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now and and my parents are still overly protective. they wont let me sleep at his or him sleep at mine and tehy wont let us go on a little overnight stay away from home. i am ...
A. 11 November 2006: Well, I guess you could get your own place then you could do what you liked but that costs money and brings responsibilities like bills. Regardless of age it's 'their house, their rules'. I know you think you're an adult next week but when you say ... (read in full...)
This on/off situation with is screwing with my head! Help!
Q. I'm 16 years old and I've found the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. We had an amazing relationship and a deep understanding of eachother. Unfortunately neither of us are mature enough to keep an adult relationship going for longer than ...
A. 11 November 2006: No-one will compare to him because just now you won't let them. I'd say don't bother beating yourself up about him or holding this torch for him too tightly. So, you like the guy and you hope you might have a chance in the future. Well, perhaps, ... (read in full...)
Should I shave 'down there' before my bf and I take things further?
Q. okay, so this is my question. my boyfriend and i have been at second base, but were not going further than that right now. and i was just wondering, should i shave *down there* or not, or how much or something. please help. 3 ...
A. 11 November 2006: Hair is not dirty. Assuming you wash all over at least daily then you don't need to worry. I agree, trimming can tidy up in a flattering way that stubble in that area can never be ..... (read in full...)
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