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... Send *ica a private message | | | *ica's profile:I am older and wiser! If only the current me had been around to give the younger me some much-needed advice .. not that I would have listened anyway. As a teenager (and beyond) I thought that sex'n'drugs'rock'n'roll were the best goals in life .. how wrong I was. Ok for light relief but not to be pursued as a lifestyle. |
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Should I shave 'down there' before my bf and I take things further?
Q. okay, so this is my question. my boyfriend and i have been at second base, but were not going further than that right now. and i was just wondering, should i shave *down there* or not, or how much or something. please help. 3 ...
A. 11 November 2006: Hair is not dirty. Assuming you wash all over at least daily then you don't need to worry. I agree, trimming can tidy up in a flattering way that stubble in that area can never be ..... (read in full...)
he said I'm a geek and need to be more chavy. How much should I change about myself?
Q. right im not sure weather this is a relationship question or a fashion question lol. anyway i was talking to this lad and we were arranging to meet..he said "this wolud b easier if you were ma g/f but no offence bt ur such a geek...chav it up a bit ...
A. 9 November 2006: Simple answer is never change to make someone like you. He doesn't want you for you, he wants you if you fits a certain image. What happens when he changes his mind again? Forget him. Meet some geek guys ;)... (read in full...)
He calls me dumb and jokes about my insecurities! How can I talk to him about this?
Q. He calls me dumb and jokes about my insecurities. he rarely compliments me. How do I go about talking about this with him?...
A. 8 November 2006: Hey, mister anonymous. You've been busy. Either be brave enough to register and have some kind of visibility or keep your unhelpful suggestions to yourself.... (read in full...)
I don't want to date my sugar daddy, but i want him to keep buying me stuff!
Q. I'm 18 and a student at a university. One of my teacher's assistants is this guy Paul. One night I went out with Paul for drinks and his friend Jimmy came along. Jimmy paid for all my drinks, and even though I wasn't attracted to him, I let him. ...
A. 8 November 2006: Nah .. I'm not buying, even if you claim some old guy is.... (read in full...)
I lied about getting my period! When are they really supposed to start?
Q. I am 14 years old and for a long time i have been pretending to my freinds that i have periods as i feel embarassed as they all have a period.Im in so deep now that i dont know how to get out.I dont know how they will react if i tell them i have ...
A. 7 November 2006: Well, chances are that if you have lied so have some of them. I wouldn't bother telling them about it, just let it be a non-issue. It's possible to have very irregular periods at first too so you could go months without one anyway. Everybody ... (read in full...)
Slept on our second date and I've not heard from him. Forget him or contact him?
Q. Dear Agony Aunt, I have been single for a year and recently met a guy. We went out once or twice and we ended up sleeping together on our second date! I dont regret it and he was really loving and held me all night long. When i left he said that...
A. 7 November 2006: I wouldn't call him. If he likes you and thinks you're worth the effort, he'll make it. That does happen, believe me ;)... (read in full...)
We broke up for the 4th time - I love him so much but should I take him back again?
Q. I know this question is a book and a half, but please I need your advice you can e-mail me directly and not post my question if it is to long.please. I’m 21 years of age and have been in a well, serious relationship for the last two and a half ...
A. 6 November 2006: There's a book "It's Called a Break-up Because It's Broken" by Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt which contains a lot of good advice. I'd say get hold of it if you can. Sorry, but I think serial breaking-up is a sign that you're not well ... (read in full...)
My bf takes his anger out on me and wHen I take it to heart he calls me mental! Advice please?
Q. My partner yells at me and calls me names like, idiot and stupid and it doesnt matter what form of employment i am in he calls me a failure. I often wake up feeling worthless and feel too tired to get out of bed as though i havent slept. He ...
A. 6 November 2006: You are not his punchbag. The other posters are right, he needs to sort himself out and not take his life out on you. This treatment will have ground you down. Stop trying to please him - it obviously doesn't work anyway. I think you'll need to take ... (read in full...)
He loves to hunt and fish...but I hate it when he leaves town to do this! What can I do?
Q. my boyfriend loves to hunt and fish. he knows that i don't mind if it is local. i don't like for him to go away for 2 or 3 nights. i sometimes think that he wants to do this more because he knows that i don't really care for this. how do i take ...
A. 6 November 2006: I have a friend whose husband enjoys fishing and he's in a fishing group. They have organised weekends away to various places and she goes to but spends her time doing other things wherever they are. Could you agree on doing this for some of the ... (read in full...)
My gf has missed a period! Does having first time sex throw off a woman's menstrual cycle? Advice please!
Q. I'm 18 years old and my girlfriend, who is also 18, just told me she's a week late. Does this mean she's pregnant? I'm not sure because she was a virgin and by having sex doesn't that throw off the menstruation cycle? Please help. ...
A. 5 November 2006: Well sex tends to throw off the menstruation cycle when a woman gets pregnant, yes ... but apart from that, no. It's too late for contraception this time - yes you can get pregnant the first time - but hopefully this will just be a scare. Get a ... (read in full...)
He's my ex and his Mother keeps telling me all about his gf! What should I do?
Q. A mths ago I split up with my b/f of 4 mths. I had known him for 14mth before we got together. At first we hated 1 another, and even though his mam knew this she still threw us together. Then she kept dropping hints that he hated girls and would ne...
A. 5 November 2006: Probably nothing if she's intent on it. You can only change your own behaviour. Sounds somehow like you can't totally avoid her, but try to keep contact to a minimum. I think you're doing the right thing not telling about your own life. Be polite, ... (read in full...)
When is the best time after your perid to get pregnant?
Q. hi everyone, i need ur help. i wanna get pregnant. i want to know when is the best time after your period to have sex and likely to fall pregnant. i keep on hearing all didnt things like its harder to fall pregnant straight after period, so when ...
A. 5 November 2006: I feel a need to wade in here .. there's no mention of a partner, please don't go getting pregnant without the full support and knowledge of the baby's father. It's hard, hard work alone.
Apologies for this if I'm in the wrong - you'll apprecia... (read in full...)
He and his parents have big issues...should he keep seeing them?
Q. Hello.. I've been with my fiancee Shaun for almost 3 years. We've had a very rocky relationship, but things have been good for the past year. When he first moved in with me he would visit his parents every sunday. When he returned he was different...
A. 5 November 2006: Difficult. I have to say I don't understand "he later discovered that his father had molested him when he was young". Sorry but you mean he's only worked this out in the last 3 years? He didn't remember or he remembered something but didn't know ... (read in full...)
He smokes weed a lot..should I just forget about him?
Q. i like this guy alot..but he smokes weed ALOT! should i just forget about him?...
A. 5 November 2006: Yes. Unless he wants to stop - which is unlikely - it will always be a bigger priority that you, your home, your kids... His need for the weed will be more important than everything else in his life. I've seen that happen. Let him throw his life ... (read in full...)
coffee on teh first date...but why is he too cheap to take me to dinner for a 2nd date. Should I ask him?
Q. I'm going on my second date with a man that I met on-line (we are both middle-aged). We met for coffee on our first date. However, we are going out for dessert on our second date. He is quite comfortable financially as he owns a home, is a ...
A. 5 November 2006: Do you actually like him, or are you more concerned with how much money he'll spend on you?? Get to know the guy before judging him to be mean. You don't know what financial obligations he has. How have you appeared to him? What you've done on other ... (read in full...)
I cheated, we split - now he's cheating on his pregnant gf with me!
Q. hi me and my ex were together 2 1/2 years and we have a 1 year old son but we recently split up as i cheated on him it was the biggest mistake of my life and i live with the regrets everyday but my ex has a new girl who is having his baby but ...
A. 3 November 2006: You have a child of one year old, you just split up and he has a pregnant girlfriend already? (How many more kids will he stack up in the next fews years??) Sorry but you should do yourself a favour and only see him to share responsibility of your ... (read in full...)
He turned sweet, then became bad again! I want him back but is it worth it?
Q. I fell for this guy because he was a heartless bastard, a complete badboy and a bit of a womanizer. I like a challenge! He also had something that drew me to him. We went out for a month, and throughout that time he said he loved me and i was naive ...
A. 3 November 2006: Wow! all this falling in and out of love so fast. You know what I'm going to say .. forget him. Whatever his priorities are, you're not high on the list. Sorry.... (read in full...)
I think about wanting an older man - is it just wanting what I never had?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 16, now soon to be 19. He's my best and only true friend. We've been through so much and are the same age(he's slightly younger). He's also been my only real relationship. He's helped me m...
A. 3 November 2006: He's certainly part of the family - you are still young and perhaps it's just all a bit suffocating. You say he's your only true friend? Change that. Don't limit yourself to being with him. Get into some hobbies, catch up with old female friends, ... (read in full...)
I get absolutely no attention from guys! What kind of woman do men really prefer?
Q. What kind of woman do men really prefer? I get absoluty no attention from guys except for the occasional goofy guy who comes up to make me smile. They will stare at me, but never a single word. My bf gets load of attention after we decided to ...
A. 3 November 2006: There's nothing wrong with you. Thing is, you sound like a very strong individual - and nothing wrong with that. However, the average guy will likely feel intimidated and not approach you. But you've got a boyfriend, why do you want them to approach ... (read in full...)
This guy is in a gang and is hot and cold for me! What do I do?
Q. I met a guy a while back now in the local pub and got on really well. We met up a few times mostly whilst out while drinking, but few times popped round 2 my house and stayed over. I went out one nite with my sister and he actually asked me out. He ...
A. 3 November 2006: He likes you when it suits him - when you're available and he's got nothing better to do. I'm sorry this has happened but you might want to hold off in future - if you start acting like he's The One that could freak a lot of guys out. It is allowed ... (read in full...)
Does having sex make breast tenderness (due to PMS) better? Any thoughts to share?
Q. Is it better to stay in the house or to go to the gym when you have an awful breast tenderness associated to the premenstrual syndrome, does sex make it better or worse I cannot stand touching me that area those days or about having sex is it ...
A. 1 November 2006: Diet can also have an impact - cut back on caffeine and sugary things, drink more water and you might find that your PMS symptoms lessen overall.... (read in full...)
How do I get him to take things to the next level??
Q. I've been in this relationship for almost two years. He is in and out, claims he loves me, doesn't want to let me go, nor does he ever go away completely, but he won't commit nor take the relationship any further ( to the next level.) We were once ...
A. 1 November 2006: Honestly? I don't think he will. From where he is, he has everything he wants. He's perhaps not deliberately messing you about, but he's moving to and fro in such a way that he's not really considering your feelings. He doesn't seem sufficiently ... (read in full...)
Can you get addicted to masturbating?
Q. is it possible to become masturbation addicted? i have to masturbate at least once a day and is it normal?...
A. 27 October 2006: I think it's only a problem if you're refusing all social invitations so you can stay home alone and, well, please yourself! Other than that it's perfectly normal.... (read in full...)
We still do all the stuff we did as a couple..just that now there is no committment! Am I setting myself up to get hurt?
Q. im 18, my ex-bf broke up with me more than 2 months ago, he wanted space and told me i was too clingy and he didnt want the responsibility. Thing is we've stayed friends and getting closer and closer each day. I've tried to simply move on a...
A. 27 October 2006: He appears to have downgraded your relationship. You are providing him with whatever comfort he requires from you but you're not getting what you need from him. Sorry .. you should move on and get him out of your life. Don't accept less than you ... (read in full...)
If you don't have sex, is it true that your vagina closes up?
Q. I lost my virginity this july, and i prob wont have sex for a while now! is it true that like your vagina closes up (and what does that really! mean by the way) Advice plzz...
A. 27 October 2006: No. Absolutely not. And your hymen doesn't grow back either. ... (read in full...)
His Mother keeps his old wedding pics up on her wall! This has upset me..what do you all think?
Q. hi im the one who thinks my boyfriend is ashamed of our relationship . i forgot to tell you about his mum decorating their house . when she decorated their house i thought when it was finished she wudnt hang up his wedding picture again but she did ...
A. 27 October 2006: Just a thought .. he has kids, they are her grandkids. Perhaps she was/is close to the kids' mum. Perhaps she never took it down because of the kids. If it's been there all this time, it's not about you. Maybe she didn't approve of the break-up. ... (read in full...)
He cheated on her with me...do I find a way to tell her so she finishes it so I can have him???
Q. A guy i'm into cheated on his girlfriend with me. They've only been going out for 2 days. I know that if she found out what we did they'd break up and he would be free for me to have him, but I know that he wouldn't be all that pleased with me. If ...
A. 27 October 2006: Don't think he likes either of you that much to be honest. And if he cheated on her for you .. well .. why would he not cheat on you for someone else?? Forget about him.... (read in full...)
Still too hung up on my ex...it was a horrid break up. How do I deal with this?
Q. i went through a terrible break up this year and found my life to be shattered. i lost friends, people i considered family and numerous material possesions. i lost my future, i had it all maped out and it now seems to have been cruelly snatched away ...
A. 27 October 2006: You're just not ready yet - that happens. Maybe you're ready for some dating and TLC but not talk of marriage and kids. That's okay. I think you should sit this new guy down and explain things to him if you haven't already. Don't bother to look too ... (read in full...)
Is an age gap of 8 years too big?
Q. hey i recently met this lad when i was out and we exchanged numbers etc he has text me asking do i want to go out sometime, its a good chance to get to know him better but the only prob is that he is 8 years older than me im 18. is that age gap too ...
A. 27 October 2006: A great expression I saw on this site was 'stage gap' - although the age difference is just a number, are you both are the same stage in your lives? Do you want to do the same things? There's no harm in going out with him and getting to know him - ... (read in full...)
Am I going to be alone forever?
Q. My first love and I have been seeing each other since high school, I'm 34 now and recently divorced again...My ex has been married to the same woman all this time, however we have never really quit seeing each other. Now that I'm single I'm having ...
A. 27 October 2006: Well he's been able to let go at least partially because he's stayed married. You can get over him but you have to try and that means not seeing him. You haven't managed yet because you haven't really tried. Maybe you thought that if you were single ... (read in full...)
Women...do you get the urge to cross examine your boyfriends after a night out???
Q. How do other women resist the urge to question their boyfriend about his nights out? Who was there, what women he was speaking to, etc? My boyfriend is always very untalkative about nights out and it makes me suspicious. I always want to question ...
A. 27 October 2006: No, because I trust him. He doesn't need to account for himself to me - I wouldn't like him to quiz me after a night out. I think the male anon reply below has made a good point (though a bit strongly!). And sorry, but I don't think the texting ... (read in full...)
To be with him he thinks I should leave my faith and join his!!!
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and i have been on for about a month now. He is very kind, spiritual and pure. But that is the problem really. He expects me to imitate him and has strict standard that i really dont think i can keep up with.I really di...
A. 27 October 2006: Sorry, I can't help but think that he needs to love you as you are, not as you will be once you've improved yourself to be of his faith. Going to the cinema to please you isn't bartering - sounds like he wouldn't have gone if his faith didn't allow ... (read in full...)
Bf lacks confidence and it's breaking up our relationship! What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. He is 22 and I am 19, but we act a lot older, which is sometimes good and sometimes not. I honestly love him very much, and we have plans to get married when we feel we're ready. (That's w...
A. 27 October 2006: Sounds like the 3some is a fantasy idea which turns you both on but would be better not brought into the 'real world'. It hasn't even happened and looks what it's doing to you already. Don't do it, and maybe stop talking about it to each other for a ... (read in full...)
He wants me to move in....I don't understand why I am feeling scared!!!
Q. my boyfriend wants me to move in with him i am 42 and he 48 we are happy together but i dont understand why i am feelinf scared plz help me...
A. 26 October 2006: You're feeling scared because it would be a major change in your life. You're feeling scared because it potentially changes the future you have anticipated. Do you know what he expects from the relationship and what might change if you live ... (read in full...)
My heart hit the floor when I saw my husband's profile on AdultFriendFinder!
Q. I got home from work last night and i was trying to find a wed site i was at the other day, so I went into the "history" part of the computer and found that my husband signed up for adultfriendfinder.com and alt.com, is he thinking about cheating on ...
A. 26 October 2006: FYI aunts & uncles, google Adult Friend Finder and you'll see it is the "largest online sex community." Don't be misled by the name - he wasn't looking for his mates..... (read in full...)
It has been year since we broke up and now he wants to meet back up!
Q. help... i'm still in love with my ex though it finished over a year ago. He finished it and I was very depressed for several months. I bumped into him recently and he chatted to me all night then asked if we could meet up "for a cup of tea". The ...
A. 26 October 2006: Possibly, but what would have changed between the two of you that would make it any different? If the break-up was that bad for you I think you'd be best to move on. Do you want to put yourself of risk of going through it all again? You've already ... (read in full...)
Is he really over his ex?
Q. Hi,there's this guy who i dated for awhile...after some stuff that happened with us,we realise it's better to be friends. However friends meant...he would still call everyday and let me know what he's doing. We were still very close even though we ...
A. 26 October 2006: I don't really get this - you're not a couple. You were, but it didn't work out so you've stayed friends. So, what now? Is that it for the rest of your lives? Not each other, but no-one else either? I think perhaps you both need to ease off - stay ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend with an old friend now I think I maybe pregnant!!!
Q. I have been with guy L for 8months and we have been engaged for 5 months. Well just recently I ran into an old friend we started talking then one thing led to another before I knew it we had slept together. Now I think I may be pregnant what should ...
A. 26 October 2006: I just can't get past "before I knew it we had slept together". Huh? What, you fell on top of him?? Pregnancy worries aside - get a test & advice - if you can so casually have sex with someone you randomly meet then you shouldn't be engaged. FYI I'm ... (read in full...)
Ladies...How do single/married females view separated/divorce man?
Q. Hi, I just got separated, after six month of marriage which was nothing but hell. well I am going through so much emotions, and it is hard, but deep inside me I know it would have never worked out, and it was just a big mistake. she wanted eve...
A. 25 October 2006: I don't think women will be put off by your marital status, plenty of us have had broken relationships in the past. What does put us off is a guy seriously bad-mouthing his ex and blaming them for the breakdown of the relationship. Not saying you ... (read in full...)
I worry myself silly when he goes out to have fun without me! How can I stop being this way?
Q. Hello everyone CAn you tell me please is it normal to get a sinking feeling in your stomach when your boyfriend says he is going out that night with his friends? I know I will sit at home tonight and worry about what he's up to, and wont be able...
A. 25 October 2006: Seriously, this is not good for you. You are worrying unnecessarily and putting a strain on yourself and potentially your relationship. As you say you've always had this problem. It doesn't need to be like this. Speak to your doctor about ... (read in full...)
If I was her current boyfriend I would be put off by the way she is behaving!!!
Q. Hey guys, I didn't get a lot of response to this one (thanks for the advice for those who did). Thought I'd ask again, still driving me a bit nuts... I'm still in love with my ex girlfriend and we hang out on occasion even though she has a boyfri...
A. 25 October 2006: Hmm .. why did you two split up? To be honest I think you need to get over her, get some distance. What's her new relationship to you? If you had been so great together you wouldn't have split up and she wouldn't be with someone else. Suspect this ... (read in full...)
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