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... Send *ica a private message | | | *ica's profile:I am older and wiser! If only the current me had been around to give the younger me some much-needed advice .. not that I would have listened anyway. As a teenager (and beyond) I thought that sex'n'drugs'rock'n'roll were the best goals in life .. how wrong I was. Ok for light relief but not to be pursued as a lifestyle. |
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The guy I like is engaged but he likes me - how do I get him to leave her for me?
Q. I met this guy who was engaged and we were good mates. He told me wasn't happy with his girlfriend and didnt really want to marry her, he told me he really liked and kissed me said he couldnt leave her coz he will lose his house. I really like him ...
A. 5 October 2006: Get a bigger house than she has, sounds like he'll come running then.
Seriously, forget him. He realises a lot more than you think so stay clear of him.... (read in full...)
I go on and off the pill - does this mess with your hormones?
Q. I go on and off the pill! is this dangerous as it messes with your hormones or is it fine!?...
A. 5 October 2006: You should ask this question of the doctor/clinician provides you with the pills. Pills are all different as I understand it but they will have the information that relates to you. You are perfectly entitled to ask about any medication you're ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my Mum to let my BF stay while he sorts himself out?
Q. My bf is going through a rough patch, and though our relationship is strong it is having an effect. He is unemployed and will be kicked out of his house soon for not being able to pay the rent. He's asked if there's a chance he can stay with me ...
A. 5 October 2006: It's her house so it's her rules. She may be afraid that he would outstay his welcome. I realise he has problems of his own but you are only 16 - he should be able to get support from friends and family. If not, why not? Are you just an easier free ... (read in full...)
Hes only in England for 6 months of the year, Im pregnant, can this work ??
Q. Dear Cupid, Im 18 years of age, I have a boyfriend 23yrs but lives in antigua as he's born there. He comes to England for the cricket season to play and gets paid, which is about 6 months a year. I'm 3 months pregnant. can this work or will i have t...
A. 5 October 2006: You need to talk to you boyfriend, to know how he feels about this - will he stand by and support you? Also, go to your GP, or depending on where you live there may be a community sexual health service, they should be able to refer to someone who is ... (read in full...)
Do girls really like guys that treat them bad or what?
Q. I really don't get it... I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now and just broke up, before i was dating her she was with this other guy for 3 years. That guy, treated her so bad, he doesn't kiss her or hug her or do anything for her. She eve...
A. 5 October 2006: Sorry, little girl, it's a bit more complex that 'you cannot help who you love'. Love does not use violence or hatred to get its own way. Love does not manipulate or punish. Love might get intense and upset but it doesn't hurt the thing it loves. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my bf his interests bore me?
Q. Hi, I'm in love with my bf and we have been together for two months. The problem is that he always seem interested in political issues, world crisis, climate change. These are stuff that i find quite boring. Once he get's a go at these topics he ...
A. 5 October 2006: He maybe doesn't know what to talk to you about so starts on his favourite subjects. What do you talk to him about? I agree with Tine, try changing the subject. ... (read in full...)
My mother is controlling my whole life and I can't get her to stop!!!
Q. Hello, I am in my mid-20’s and my mother does everything she can to rule over my life. I am married, own a house, about to go to school for my master degree, and I have a steady job (for now). Whenever I share anything personal with my mother, ...
A. 2 October 2006: To be honest she sounds like a woman with a lot of problems and you sound pretty together. The mother bond is much lauded but my own mum has always said that her mother - my gran - never loved her, and the stories she tells from childhood pretty ... (read in full...)
How can we teach our messy 11 year old son, responsibility for his own messes if Grandma keep cleaning up for him?
Q. Hi, Every weekend my mother-in-law comes for dinner. Every time she arrives she thinks she has the right to go upstairs and tidy around. We have been having problems with her grandson who is 11, trashing his room and misbehaving at bedtimes...
A. 2 October 2006: Any chance he could spend time at her house? If he trashes it up, maybe she'll feel differently about his behaviour. If he doesn't then this shows he knows how to behave and is just playing for attention at home. Just a suggestion.... (read in full...)
Is this mess normal?
Q. is it normal when me and my parnter have sex for is semum to dribbel out of me wen he pulls out of me...
A. 28 September 2006: Yes, but if you were using a condom it wouldn't .. you did have use some other kind of contraception, don't you??... (read in full...)
My bf is a non EU resident. His visa has expired. Is getting married a good idea, as I don't want to lose him?
Q. i dnt no if this ques is suitable for this site so bare with me! i av bin with my current bf 4 9 months and we realy love each other however he is a non EU resident who has been living in the england for around 4/5 yrs his visa has run out and ...
A. 26 September 2006: I understand from a family situation that even if you did marry him, he wouldn't have an automatic right to stay in this country anyway - there would still be an 'investigation' into his situation.... (read in full...)
I have felt more love for others that didnt love me back.. this guy loves me, can it work ?
Q. Hello there, Can you help? I'm a 33 year old woman, who has been very unsuccessful in love, to date... Whilst I am confident, attractive, intelligent and successful, I appear to have had a history of going for men who were either rats, o...
A. 16 September 2006: Hi, thanks for the post. I was in a flippant mood earlier ;)) Actually I felt I recognised an old self in there. When it happened to me I went through a lot of soul-searching which I think you are doing now. I had to ask myself some hard questions, ... (read in full...)
Can I "re-teach" someone how to treat others?
Q. Is it possible to reteach people how to treat you? I come from a nice enough family but it seems that my brother and sister treat me the way they did when we were kids....not the way I am now. Both my brother and sister had affairs and lost their ...
A. 16 September 2006: I do sympathise. Thing is, you're saying you want nothing to do with them and they probably know that on some level. So they have nothing to lose by treating you exactly as they please - in fact, they may enjoy even your discomfort. I don't think ... (read in full...)
We opened up one night about our sexual pasts, I now dont feel sexual towards her!!!
Q. My wife's sexual past is hurting us both. My wife and I have been together for 7 years, married for 4. I've always been reluctant to discuss our sexual pasts, largely because I was "afraid to know." Well, she breeched the subject one night b/c she ...
A. 16 September 2006: This is all in your head. She had this past when you met her and she's had it every day of your relationship. It hasn't changed though it did make her. Do you know why she led such a chaotic lifestyle? Kids that age, living like that, are generally ... (read in full...)
I have felt more love for others that didnt love me back.. this guy loves me, can it work ?
Q. Hello there, Can you help? I'm a 33 year old woman, who has been very unsuccessful in love, to date... Whilst I am confident, attractive, intelligent and successful, I appear to have had a history of going for men who were either rats, o...
A. 16 September 2006: Do I think such a relationship can work?? When you're so fantastic, he's so lacking? Why didn't you just get a dog? Faithful, loving, won't stray though not as smart, successful or rich as you. Oh, right, you did. Poor guy, I hope he gets over you ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to use this guy to make babies? Trapping him as a father?
Q. I am a confident, intelligent, and independent 21 year old woman. I work full time, i am also a part-time university student (finishing my degree in 6 months). I own my own car and have recently moved out of my parents house and have had no troub...
A. 10 September 2006: If your boyfriend came round tomorrow and said that he had a chronically ill parent who would need constant care and attention for the next few years and that you had to play a major part in this, including financially, would you be okay with that? ... (read in full...)
My ex wants me back after finding out my new boyfriend proposed...
Q. Two years ago I fell for someone I shouldn't have, he was an old friend of our family and at least 25 years older than me. We acknowledged that there was feelings on both sides and tried to act as normal as possible around others. Eventually we ...
A. 8 September 2006: People will tell you an age gap doesn't matter. Well,I know a woman in her late 40s with a husband in his 70s who has been in a nursing home for a few years now. The kids were 9 and 12 when he became ill. She really struggles with visiting him and ... (read in full...)
I didn't realise my BF could be so cold-hearted! Am I just a doormat?
Q. I'm a 20/f and i have been with mu bf for 2yrs. He cheated on me early on in our relationship and i didnt find out until 6 months later. We have moved in together and soon we overcame it but he seems to go in the internet alot and ends up with ...
A. 8 September 2006: He's a player and a loser .. dump him. The story about the planned humiliation of the alleged stalker girl is pretty nasty even though it's very likely not real. Shows a real nasty side of him though that he thinks it's a suitable defence.... (read in full...)
Should I trust the man who had an affair with me?
Q. After having an affair with a married man for three and a half years, am I a fool for trusting his word on anything? I have just found e-mail correspondence from him to another young woman which seems perfectly innocent, but is this man incapabale ...
A. 7 September 2006: Can you trust him? Well, his wife can't so why should you be able to? Or anyone else he has his eye on for that matter?... (read in full...)
My BF of 4 years is a complete control freak and says its his way or the highway!
Q. I have been in a relationship for 4 years and my boyfriend works on the river. He is gone 30 days at at a time and is so controlling of me. I can't go anywhere without asking him first and if he says no no matter how important it is, I can't go. ...
A. 7 September 2006: I don't know why you are using the word 'love'. There's no love there at all. Get up, leave, go your own way. You don't need his permission for anything.... (read in full...)
My similarly attractive friend has more success with guys than me... Where am I going wrong?
Q. I am wondering what I am doing wrong around guys. I have a friend who is about the same level of attractiveness as myself and she has more success with guys. I feel like guys do not really like me and they treat me as if I was invisable. That being ...
A. 7 September 2006: Thing is, everyone is different. Don't try to be like her, people will pick that up on some level - you're not her shadow anyway. Unfortunately if you feel bad about yourself against her perhaps you should think about making other friends. I had an ... (read in full...)
I missed a few pills and now I'm 11 days late!
Q. Hi i am 18 years old and i am 11 days late for my period but i took a pregnancy test after 8 days and it came up negative. I was on the pill last month but i missed a couple days and i didn't take at the same time every day. So i was wondering if i ...
A. 7 September 2006: See a doctor - periods can be late for all sorts of reasons. Maybe you should change your contraception if it will be a problem? And FYI poster below pregnancy tests these days can be used very soon after the expected date of a woman's period - you ... (read in full...)
My man of 3 months told me to have sex with another guy.. I dont get it why doesnt he want sex with me!?
Q. Hi, I'm a 19-year-old girl and I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months. We haven't had it for a while now - and said to me "have sex with another guy, but not me...." I don't know why he doesn't want it, he refuses to discuss it with me des...
A. 7 September 2006: He may well be having his own issues around sexuality. If you like the guy, talk to him about it but be prepared not to be his girlfriend afterwards. You may though end up with a good friend.... (read in full...)
At 16 yrs old..I'm in love with a guy 10 years older! What should I do?
Q. Im 16, completely in love with a guy ten years older then me, we meerly discused this and both brushed it off but i cant him of my damn mind. we are great friends but when he gets a girlfriend or even has a female complimenting him i get pissed off. ...
A. 7 September 2006: This is unusual in that there are often girls your age asking about older guys putting pressure on them .. this guy is different in that he is very obviously standing back. You say he's a major flirt, he sounds like he would make a move if he wanted ... (read in full...)
Why does my sister try start an argument all the time?
Q. I hope someone can help with this. I have a younger sister...she is seven years younger and an older brother...he is three years older. I get along with my sister when I am just with her and I get along with my brother when I am just with him. When ...
A. 5 September 2006: I think sometimes family members fall into roles and automatically act in certain ways in different circumstances. Your sister perhaps isn't even aware of what she's doing, it's just how she is when the family gets together. You could try laughing ... (read in full...)
We have been having a long distance relationship for 5 years, but we havent met yet!!!
Q. I'm 28 and my bf is getting 30 this December and we have this long distance relationship going on for 5 years now, however we haven't even met yet because I am halfway around the world. I can only see his old pictures online like in friendster, ...
A. 5 September 2006: Sorry but I don't see how you can say you've been in a relationship for 5 years when you haven't even met .. sounds more like a fantasy thing for you both. You don't really know each other and you have no true grasp of each other's lives. By all ... (read in full...)
Ive been told that Im too well endowed, I fear that I wont have a long term relationship because of it!!
Q. i have just come out of a short term realtionship, and although this may not seem like a big problem to some guys it truely is to me.. every girl i have ever been out with has said that i am too well endowed. i know this is true because i have seen ...
A. 5 September 2006: I don't see why it puts women off - no, I'm not being crude ;) Thing is, it's not enough just to turn up being larger than average. You still need to please your partner. I had an ex who seemed to think that having a couple of extra inches meant he ... (read in full...)
I think my ex messed my head up something awful
Q. I am 17 and i know this might be normal but i feel like a bad person and feel like i don't deserve anything. Ever since my last ex boyfriend, who was VERY controlling, made me tell him EVERYTHING about my past and it's like I also had to tell him ...
A. 4 September 2006: I think you need to talk to someone about your feelings - events have really upset you. Try to relax and don't beat yourself up about odd or weird thoughts, just let them go. Believe me, everyone has them, odd things colliding in your head. But ... (read in full...)
At Primary School I fell in love, have since tried to move on, but wish I could have kept him, everything now seems a very big mess... (v Long)
Q. .HOW COULD I HAVE HELD ONTO THE PERSON I LOVED/LOVE?? My problem is this: When I was in primary school I fell in love with someone called Skye But then when it came too high school, he got sent to a private all boy's school far away from me an...
A. 4 September 2006: It sounds like you've had a hard time - good on you for getting past it all. You need to focus on yourself now and yourself and leave the past where it is. If you do meet this guy again, you might not have the same feelings for him. All this time ... (read in full...)
Not sure if Im pregnant.... but know what Im going to do If I am..
Q. I maybe pregnant but I am not really sure yet. The only evidence that I have that I have missed my period fot this month, but could it happened because I hade mines two times in the last month (in the beginning of the month and close to the end). ...
A. 3 September 2006: I had one years ago, at 17. Very traumatic time after, messed up my life BUT I don't regret it because no way was I/we ready for a child and it doesn't sound like you are either. What I do regret is that it happened at all - I was sloppy with ... (read in full...)
I want more out of my f*ckbuddy relationship but he may not
Q. Iv been seeing a man for 2 years,he lives on his own but has a busy work life while im divorced with 3 kids.The problem is,im not sure if he is just using me for sex? We see each other at weekends and every time we do we end up having sex.I asked ...
A. 3 September 2006: I agree with other posters that he seems happy with your arrangement. Why not push the boundaries a little to see how he reacts? How about you meet up as usual but don't let it progress to sex? Could the kids be elsewhere for a night and you could ... (read in full...)
My colleague is obsessed with me!! Help!!
Q. There is this woman who works in the wages office next to my office, we have known each other for years. Recently she has started flirting with me. She comes into my office all the time, she asks me who I am seeing and whats going on in my life! ...
A. 1 September 2006: I am reminded of a female friend of mine who behaves just like this .. if you make up a date, your colleague may well want to know all about it, as she is your friend, so that's likely a bad idea for several reasons. I'd say start out by being ... (read in full...)
I think Im in love with my boss!
Q. Help, i think im in love with my boss. Last xmas we slept together and yes it was awkard after we came back to work purely on my part because i felt guilty as he has a wife. I know its wrong and nothing has happened between us since. But he gets ...
A. 31 August 2006: Get a new job. Seriously. This won't work out well for either of you.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Co worker that I like him ?
Q. Should I blurt out my feelings ? There is a mutual attraction between myself and a work colleague which has been building up for months. The frustration of not saying anything is really taking it's toll and me. It also seems to be taken a toll on ...
A. 31 August 2006: Sorry but are you sure this is mutual? I'd expect chemistry with a colleague to manifest as looking forward to seeing each other, laughs, jokes and sharing confidences - not snapping and ignoring. Is it possible you're the one with the feelings and ... (read in full...)
My internet guy was really full on, I travelled back to the US and nothing!?!?
Q. Hi everybody, I have a wierd situation in my hands...I met a guy online...He drove down 2 hours to meet me. I didn't like him so much then. However, I left the US and went back home and then we hooked by via messenger...He was extremely posses...
A. 30 August 2006: Who would do these things? Anzwer - a control freak. I think you've had a lucky escape to be honest. I'm a bit concerned though about you saying he "insisted", "made you" go to the US etc, especially after you had had met and not liked him. There's ... (read in full...)
Is it important to find someone to date who is in your social class with similar values? Opinions needed.
Q. Just wondering what peoples views are on this question. Is it important or perhaps socially more acceptable to find someone to date who is in your social class / league with similar values and been brought up same way, that your family wil get on ...
A. 29 August 2006: Sounds to me like you've met someone whose 'culture' clashes with your own. If you like/love and respect each other and each other's differences, if the people in your respective lives are mature, accepting and non-judgemental then why not? The ... (read in full...)
Help me with my list of pro's and con's about him
Q. ok ..tell me if i should or if you would stay with a guy if you had these pro's and con's about him. thanks. some of these things i got over though like the feet thing and i'm getting over the age thing. pro's -he's ALWAYS there for me -h...
A. 29 August 2006: Okay, I'll be easy on you as it's got a bit harsh elsewhere ;) pros and cons is a method lots of people use (din't it figure in a Friends Rachel/Ross once??) Anyway .. you will never meet a perfect partner. I think that the press, magazines, films ... (read in full...)
I am so scared that another girl is going to take him away
Q. I have been with my bf for alittle over a year now. Just recently he decided that he wanted to cool things off and be single for awhile. Things are great between us. I knew that going into this relationship he was suppose to have time to himself ...
A. 29 August 2006: I agree totally with Yos, below. It may well be that he needs time to think. I'd give him this one chance - but take it that it's really over now. Don't get in touch with him, get on with your own things. Don't see him. Bear in mind that no-one else ... (read in full...)
My daughter is 16. How do I recommend she stay off the boyfriend during her A-Levels?
Q. I'm a father in his 40's and I hav a daughter who is 16. So she is at the age when she will start to think about having a serious realtionship with a boy (as they do that age). I'm worried because I would really like for her to concentrate more on ...
A. 28 August 2006: It doesn't sound like there's a boy on the horizon at the moment so perhaps not stress that aspect of it when there's not an issue. What about a general chat about studying and "the future"? Assuming university is what she wants, try to support her ... (read in full...)
Losing the will to live!
Q. I feel that life passes me by. Sometimes I don't even feel part of the human race. I've lost my ability to enjoy life, to have fun, to be happy. I moved to a foreign country a year ago, to work in cancer research. It's a nice job and a great op...
A. 28 August 2006: I feel for you, it's hard to be alone so much. I think that people who've never had to spend much time alone don't realise just how soul-destroying it can be. Right - you need to act to make your life better for you. I don't know much about your ... (read in full...)
He told me, "Bros before hoes". Should we just break up?
Q. Me and my bf's 6 month anniversery was a lil less then a week ago...on our ann. I guess he was with his friends trying to find ways to break up with me and he was texting this chick. The next day everything was back to normal and that nite I found ...
A. 24 August 2006: Guys who need to put their friends before their partner aren't worth much in my mind. You're not a priority in his life, why should he be in yours? Leave him to his gang. ... (read in full...)
150 girls or less!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and, except for my problems with his past and the number of one night stands he's had, everything has been fine. Today, we were talking about it and he said I'm being silly and I'll never find someone ...
A. 24 August 2006: I always think it's kind of telling when they've kept the score that long ... ... (read in full...)
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