A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Do I sound like a ladies man to you at all? I'm 18, a senior in high school. I know perfectly how to treat a woman, if she was my girlfriend, would treat her like a queen, or like the best the women in the world. I never had a girlfriend before, but I have some friends that are girls. I'm always thinking about women and I have pictures of women on my PC. Girls at my school treat me like a good friend, I'm nice to every girl.I do consider myself as a ladies man sometimes, cus all the details I put on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): The only thing that's worse than a real "ladies man" is a man who believes he's a "ladies man" when he's actually not at all. Think Duckie Dale in Pretty in Pink.In my experience, men who pride themselves on their prowess with women often have a tendency to come off as patronizing or condescending. Chivalry is nice, especially when it comes across as a sincere gesture to a particular women. But if you are going through motions with every woman you come across to convince yourself of your own masculinity, you might be making a fool of yourself inadvertently.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (6 February 2012):
 You have never had a girlfriend, so no, you're not a ladies man. A ladies man is a charmer, who can get nearly any woman he wants - and he does. A ladies man is a synonymous to a player. Girls only want to be friends with you and they say you're nice. You're "the nice guy" if anything, not a ladies man.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 February 2012):
 How do you define the term "ladies man"?
A "ladies man" to me means a guy who dates many women and won't be exclusive with any of them.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (6 February 2012):
 Based on this alone, no you would not be considered a ladies man. In fact given your lack of experience, far from it.
As noble as your intentions are, they are, at this point just intentions. No doubt all men start out the same way when imagining the perfect girlfriend. It's REAL women you'll be dating though, not the fantasy.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (6 February 2012):
 I'm not sure if we're using the same definition of "ladies' man." To me, it means a man who knows how to handle women, including having a satisfying love life (whether that's with one woman or a whole slew of them). By that definition, you're just an aspiring ladies' man. No shame in that.
For your sake - and I mean this in a constructive way, not a derogatory one - I would stop to consider whether you really know how to treat a woman, and maybe hold your opinion until you've given it a try. Theory and practice are very different, and it's difficult to convert one into the other without a humble and flexible worldview. One of the things I learned very quickly from my first girlfriend was that most of my ideas about girls were completely wrong (I had a highly idealized view of girls, setting them high on a pedestal, and I was very convinced that I knew every little detail about treating one right).
A queen needs and *wants* a king, and a king needs boundaries (what he will and, more importantly, will *not* tolerate, even from his queen), a healthy dose of self-respect, and the social savvy to make it look good. If what you're doing now isn't getting the results you want, consider that what you're doing may not be entirely correct, even if it feels right. As long as you're willing to observe the girls around you, see how they react to different kinds of guys and their behavior, then learn from that, you'll do fine.
I wrote an article up a while back on the subject. It's not comprehensive at all - I'm still learning, and always will be - but it should get you started.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-be-attractive-a-beginners-guide-for.html
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