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Is it wrong to fancy a woman who is 25 when your 44?

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 January 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 February 2012)
A male United States age 51-59, *obert234 writes:

Im from the usa and 44 im divored 10 years this march and always dated woman my age .

I'm friends with this Irish woman at work and its strange because when i see this particular woman my heart pounds weirdly fast!

This woman she is about 5ft 3 so she is way smaller than i am as i am 6ft, she has long brown wavy hair and green eyes when i see her i feel like i have an erection coming on its weird its like im automatically turned on by her but i would be afraid to ask her out over the age gap incase she thinks i was a granpa!

Why do i fancy her its strange for me as i usually go for woman my own age? Her accent is something else that interests me . Why do i fancy someone also 20 years younger is this bad ? i never felt like this before?

Would it be weird for a 44 year old to ask her out on a date?

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A female reader, Missy123 United States +, writes (10 February 2012):

No that is not weird at all, I am 23 and recently broke things off with my fiancé of 3 years... There is a man whom I see almost daily at my workplace, he is 42, and in the middle of a divorce from his wife of 18 years... For the last year there has been flirtatious behavior and attracting between us, just this past Wednesday he asked me to go to dinner with him, in fact we are going out tonight. We both need some fun and an escape from the stress of daily life. I'm excited and nervous at he same time, becuz society has placed some sort of stigma on middle aged men dating younger women, which is why you and i both are questioning ourselves.

I don't think its morally or ethically wrong of him or myself; the attraction has been there and an opportunity presented itself.

If she has flirted back with you and talks to you, give it a shot, ask her to dinner, but hold off on seeing a movie until you two are comfortable enough with each other and the situation. My guy wanted to do dinner and a movie, I said dinner is good, I m not ready to be that intimate of a position yet, I think it may be awkward. But my advice is go for it, ask her out!

Good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2012):

Is it wrong? No! It is completely and totally normal!

What's your question? If she might be interested and it could work out? Less likely.

Good luck!

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A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (28 January 2012):

PerhapsNot agony auntListen, it's OK for you to be attracted to her, but she is your coworker. There is nothing more awkward than having a coworker ask you out, especially if you don't reciprocate their interest. I was asked out by a 53 year old co-worker when I was 25. It made things incredibly awkward and everyone in the office thought it was incredibly inappropriate and creepy.

At 25 you really don't have much in common with a 44 year old, especially if she was never married. You have a strong attraction to her, then again, why wouldn't you? She is young and beautiful. Keep it professional and don't ask her out.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (28 January 2012):

Danielepew agony auntShe must be a very good looking woman. Your fancying her is not wrong.

Dating her could be a different matter. On this board you will find lots of people who would say that age is just a number and the like. I am not so sure. I am about your age and I can certainly understand the feeling that I may be seen as "grandpa". That would be awful, but I think that the fact that your interests and stage in life are very different would eventually matter.

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