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Should I wait to see how long it takes for him to text me, or just go ahead and try to get something planned?

Tagged as: Crushes, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

A few weeks ago a guy I've been chatting with asked for my number. He texted me shortly after that but since then I always start the texting off and there's about 1-in-2 chance he'll reply (more likely to respond if I ask a question)

He's not really that into his phone, it doesn't have a texting keyboard, and he likely pays for that stuff, so I'm pretty sure it just isn't his thing.

But other than the phone, I can only talk to him if I go to his work during his shift. His shifts are irregular, so I don't really know if he'll be there when I go. We were supposed to hang out last weekend, but he ended up having car troubles so we had to cancel.

I'm curious how long it'll take for him to text me, so I'm kind of waiting. Only thing is, I'm really bored, so I really would like to go do something. I'm trying to fill my time, and it's working so-so.

Should I wait to see how long it takes for him to text me, or just go ahead and try to get something planned? Is there any other form of communication I'm just not thinking of?

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A female reader, Lexie88 Australia +, writes (7 February 2012):

Lexie88 agony auntIf he was interested he'd be calling you, texting you, emailing you...whatever, you get the point. All I can say is that he's not that into you.

Like katiekate said, leave the contacting to the guy to begin with. This is the only way you'll know if he's keen or not.

In your situation, the guy is responding because he doesn't want to be rude. You should stop the texting and see what happens then.

And no, it's not that he's not into his phone. He'd be very into his phone if he was into you and the phone was a way to get to you.

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A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (7 February 2012):

PerhapsNot agony auntHe's not really that into his phone, it doesn't have a texting keyboard, and he likely pays for that stuff, so I'm pretty sure it just isn't his thing.

Way to make excuses. When phones first came out, no one had a keyboard and people were texting like crazy. Even now, not everyone has a phone with a keyboard and they use it non-stop. And he likely pays for individual text? You're assuming, but you don't know the details of his phone plan. I think you're grasping at thin air trying to justify why he isn't texting you like you'd like.

So aside from being not hearing often from him, he cancelled your date, claiming car issues. OK. So if HE is the one that cancelled, why would YOU plan the subsequent date? If he wants to go on a date with you, he will make plans to take you out when his car gets fixed. If you don't hear from him, or he doesn't want to take you out on a date, it just means the car issue was BS.

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A female reader, katiekate United States +, writes (7 February 2012):

katiekate agony auntDEFINITELY let him contact you. He has your phone number. If he wants to talk to you, he will use it. Just a little trick I've used: when I first start dating or talking to a guy, I would NEVER initiate contact until at least one month in. I would always respond to texts or pick up the phone when the guy would call, but would NEVER initiate it. Just my little way of making sure the guy was into me while at the same time not looking desperate or clingy. It always worked wonders!

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