A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My partner has remained good friends with his ex of 10 years. This has always bugged me, but its something that he wants, they speak on a daily basis, either thru txt or phone calls, and catch up when time allows, as she works very long hours. Any way today is Valentines Day, and last night he informs me that he is going to her place for dinner, I mention that it is Valentines day, and his reply is, thats for teenagers!, and that its her only day off. He also says, that regardless of what day it is, I would still be pissed off. I was aware that he was going to visit her, he informed me a few days ago, but I was really hopeful that we would spend valentines day together. Is that unfair of me, or am I just being jelous again?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 February 2012):
 He has daily contact with a woman who he SAYS is his ex?
I'd be his EX now... that would not be acceptable to me.
I personally do not think you are being unreasonable
if he likes her enough to have daily contact with her why aren't they together???
I think you should consider ending this relationship.
A
female
reader, Domolovescookies +, writes (14 February 2012):
 well... look at it this way:
hes never going to change... except maybe for the worse.
You ok with that?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): This is not something I would ever tolerate. You must be a very patient person to have put up with so much already. But for a monogamous relationship to be successful, YOU need to have primacy in your partner's life as he does in yours. If you continue to allow him to put this other woman first, which is what you have been doing, there is no reason for him to change his ways. In effect, he is having his cake and eating it too.
If he were my partner, I'd give him the choice of reducing his contact with this woman DRAMATICALLY or finding himself a new girlfriend. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): I agree with ChaliceODamnation, why on earth are you putting up with this and for so long....She is never going to be out of his life and it sounds like she is his priority. Even if they have children the daily contact is absurd - why don't they just get back together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): This is really strange to me,I wouldn't put up with that ever. You really should think about this,do you want to be with a man who puts he's ex first?
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Frankly this sounds like a relationship that I would NEVER accept. You've been very kind if you ask me, or maybe you're afraid if you gave him an ultimatum that he would choose his ex over you? In either case, that relationship is inappropriate and too close for most sane people. I don't even talk to my best girlfriend every day! The only person I speak to on a daily basis is my fiance and if he had an ex that he was speaking to every day, it would be over.I don't think you're being jealous. Why anyone be OK with their partner talking to their ex every day and then going to their place for dinner on V-Day? Are you kidding me? Are you ever invited when they meet up or is it just the two of them? That just doesn't sound right to me and I wouldn't be surprised if they were sleeping together either.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Forgot to answer your question...I don't think you're being completely unfair, but there is some jealousy about you towards his friend.
Ask him to compromise and see what he says.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 February 2012):
Actually, it is true that you'd be mad he was going over there regardless of the day. If she's been his friend for the last 10 years, why haven't you accepted that just yet?
Has he ever cheated on you before? Do you not trust him?
It largely depends on your views of Valentine's Day. Is it a day that you believe couples should be spent together? Or is it nothing but a holiday Hallmark took over and you don't need to prove you love your partner on that one day, when it's a daily occurrence?
If you really want to celebrate Valentine's Day together then you need to ask him to compromise and be home fairly early after dinner. Is it possible that you can attend as well and give the girl a chance?
It's safe to say that this ex girlfriend turned best friend isn't going anywhere. I believe you need to accept that about him and learn not to be so put off by it. If you stay with this guy, you really don't have a choice in the matter. You can't pick and choose your boyfriend/partner/husband's friends. After all don't you have friends of the opposite sex? Maybe even ones you've slept or had a relationship with?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
His EX is a manipulative, toxic B*TCH.
Dump the Guy. If he is going to put ANYONE before you- he's a pathetic wimp.
NEVER SETTLE For SECOND BEST LOVE!
EVER!
You deserve a loving, honest, faithful man that honours you and the relationship before anyone else.
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