A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Recently I went to my younger cousins 18th birthday party. It was really great night. What I noticed though was myself feeling slightly bad about myself and jealous due to how popular my cousin is. My cousin got the looks on the family. She's gorgeous and has even done a bit of modelling in the past. Me? I'm pretty plain Jane really. I'm not calling myself ugly, but I wasn't blessed with the modelling looks she has. She is also very confident and doesn't care what others think. I am confident but sometimes shy away from people i don't know welll or have just met. I'm 21 and left high school over 2 years ago. I was never popular. I wasn't a social outcast and by the end of school I did speak to the vast majority of people in my year, but I didn't know anyone else outwith it like the popular crew did and like my cousin does. I wasn't invited to many parties and for the most part of high school (up until my final year) I stayed in most weekends rather than going out. For some reason, I still seem to think my social status equates to my worthiness of a person. I feel bad that I wasn't part of the popular crowd back then. My boyfriend was and I find myself feeling the same when he talks about the things they used to do together and who he knew etc (we went to the same high school).I'm not sure why I feel like this. Rationally I know it's silly but for some reason I make myself feel bad for not making the effort to become part of the popular crowd. I need help, maybe it's low self-esteem I'm not sure but I need advice on how to stop feel like this over something that doesn't even matter now..I mean I'm 21 for goodness sake...high school should be the last thing on my mind!!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 September 2014):
 I'm sure your self-esteem will experience an "uptick" when you realize that the size of your brain is far more important than the size of your breasts.
You sound like a smart, level-headed young woman... NOW, let life go on, and stop comparing yourself to your cousin.
Good luck...
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 September 2014):
 High school is a 'proving ground' for self esteem and social networking. But if you survive it you can survive in life. You got through it without killing anyone so you're a survivor. Now you need to blosom and learn to act like the world is your oyster. Quit looking back and value your future and the whole world will make sense. There are millions of young people still resenting the struggles of high school. Two rules in life: Number 1(The most important; never sweat the small stuff!, Rule Number 2; It's ALL small stuff. Young lady, get over yourself and enjoy life.
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