A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have great sex but he still thinks he is too small. It is a tight fit and I have to be really turned on in order for it to be comfortable. Even more so now that I am pregnant, my third baby his first. He cums really fast most of the time unless I go down on him until he cums before we have sex. Which is fine with me because I enjoy it and it gets me ready for sex. He doesn't seem to worry about it during sex but he often gets shy or makes self depreciating jokes and I can tell it effects his thinking and behavior. He is really jealous even though I have never given him a reason. It may sound weird but I really don't even notice other men. I just don't want anyone else. Unfortunately that doesn't mean they don't notice me. Pregnant or not. I have told him that I find it insulting when guys who know I am married hit on me. I only need one man to want me and if they have interest they should keep it to themselves. The suggestion that I am open to adultery makes me very angry. I am just wondering how he can think he is small when that obviously isn't true. He knows I am not the kind of girl to settle or be fake. If I have a problem I will speak my mind. I also don't fake arousal or orgasms I believe it is counterproductive. I know how proud I am after I get him to cum. Why would I take that satisfaction away from him. If you fake it once he will be left forever in doubt about his ability to satisfy you
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insecure, jealous, notice me, orgasm, ready for sex, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2014): You stated this is your third baby and his first. He knows you have been with at least another guy in the past right. maybe he is comparing in his mind with guys of your past. in his mind he feels like he is competing for you, and feels like he does not measure up.
almost all guys feel like they don't measure up at one time or the other. wishing we was bigger to please our woman more. the worst thing a woman can do is make a small joke to their man.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2014): Whoever can answer your question, also has the answer to why women feel insecure about their bodies? Why porn makes them feel less attractive as a woman?
Usually if a guy feels undersized, he's been out-sized by most of the other guys he knows; or he equates size to skill and virility. Both genders have our size-problems.
Perpetuated by the media and stereotypical myths. Some are true, but lets not go there!
Guys get to see what's going on "down there" with others at the showers at the gym; or for those who play sports, when they hit the showers, and their shrinkage may be a lot smaller than that of the other fellas around them. I guess that makes some guys insecure and a little embarrassed.
Some guys are growers not show-ers; but fear the opinions of the other guys who are "sizing" them up. Having "big balls" is an expression denoting more manliness; while having a big d*ck makes you more desirable as a lover. Boys face this pressure from puberty on. You're supposed to outgrow puberty. Unfortunately, some of us fellas don't!!!
I mean that figuratively and literally.
Genetics blessed me. No complaints here. Being gay, I guess I might be tempted to be more judgmental in that area than women are. A really tiny willy makes me feel sorry for guys who are afraid to even date because of it. It's also comical in a cruel way. That makes men very sensitive about it. His manhood is measured by inches/meters.
Remember, sometimes we set imaginary-standards that we think other people are measuring us by. It's all in our own heads! We all do it. Everyone! Narcissists being the exception; whom are totally perfect in every way!
Don't pay any attention to his self-deprecating comments; he's just looking for your reassurance and approval. Your validation means a lot to him. You're such a sweet and lovely person. To say such kind things and he's not aware that you shared it here. I only hope he gives you the same sweetness and consideration in return.
Well, his jealousy may not be attributed to just his size, but knowing what a gem he has. He just needs to keep things in proper perspective. Other men will check you out; and you have no idea what's in their package, or will even care.
It's a primal-instinct to be protective of our mates against sexual-competitors. Some just are a little too primal! To the knuckle-dragging degree! Let's not go there either.
Sometimes one bad experience leaves an ever-lasting scar.
He gets more than enough encouragement and passionate response from you. That's all that matters. Don't feel pressured. We all have a little insecurity about our physical appearance; and the ability to sexually please our partners consistently. If it gets too pronounced and becomes an issue; have a talk about it. Otherwise; it's healthy, and keeps him motivated to please you.
I wasn't making fun of your post. I just added a little humor; because you are fortunate, and shouldn't feel over-concerned.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2014): olderthandirt is right, you know. I don't necessarily believe ALL men want to be bigger, but I can relate even though I'm a woman. I have B cup boobs, and often think if they were bigger my husband would like them better. I still feel that way even though he's told me many times he's more than satisfied with me the size I am. My guess is this is what's going on with your husband (only with penis size instead of boobs). It's nothing you're doing wrong. He's insecure, that is all.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 September 2014):
 Allof us men feel 'cheated' when it come to size there are lucky guys out there that can give their woman mind blowing orgasms and then there's the rest of us wishing we were part of that well-endowed club. It's not just him or just you. This a a global issue.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt +, writes (25 September 2014):
I hate to tell you this but ALL men wish they were bigger. Even though our wife is completely satisfied, we feel that it would be even better for her if we were just a tad larger. If it's grat now, think how much better it would be for the one I love if only I were more of a man. No way out of this my friend ask some of yur female friends, I bet they have a similar story.
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