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Should I Tell My Friend About her Friend Quizzing Me?

Tagged as: Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 September 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 27 September 2014)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I recently went to an event to support a friend. While I was there I spoke with two of her friends there who were a couple. The wife started asking me multiple questions about my friend including her work schedule. I simply said I didn't know her exact schedule, we have changing schedules but I mentioned that now we had a similar schedule. I don't remember the other questions now.

When I thought about this later it started to bother me and now I wish I had said nothing. I have no idea why she would ask me all of this? In addition, this woman's husband looked exactly like someone I met recently and a SINGLES social event, although I met many people there which often confuses me and I'm not sure.

I don't know if I should mention any of this to my friend or not? She has been under a lot of stress and I don't want to upset her but maybe she should know this person probably isn't trustworthy.

View related questions: her ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks Everyone,

I think I will just let this one pass. I didn't say anything detailed about my friend's schedule so I'm ok with it and it isn't for me to figure out what is going on. I think she is intelligent enough to figure out if this couple are trustworthy as friends etc. Since I'm not sure about the hubby I definitely wouldn't say anything about that. I don't feel this was normal at all, so if something like this ever comes up again my response will be: Why are you asking ME about so and so's work schedule, why don't you ask her?

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A female reader, moon river  United Kingdom +, writes (26 September 2014):

moon river  agony auntMaybe you can mention it in a casual way "Oh yeah, x and x were asking me about you"

At least then if it doesn't mean anything you haven't made made a big deal of it

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (25 September 2014):

Intrigued3000 agony auntI don't think you should bring this up with your friend. You're not 100% sure about the husband being at the singles event, and asking about someone's schedule is hardly an issue to discuss, unless you want to stoke the fire and create some gossip.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI "might" ask her how well she knows Mr. and Mrs X and if she asks you why you can tell her that the wife inquired to her work schedule and you found it a tad odd. I would tell her because SHE is my friend.

HOWEVER, If you do all that crap might start to hit the fan for your friend.

I would honestly, suggest you DO NOT discuss details of your friend's lives with people you don't really know. I mean, couldn't you just have told the lady to ASK your friend herself about her work schedule?

I can imagine this being such and strange situation to be in.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 September 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntI would tell your friend and let her process it in any way she wants. Under pressure or not it might be important info to know about Who knows there could be motives that only she would understand.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 September 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntI would tell your friend and let her process it in any way she wants. Under pressure or not it might be important info to know about.

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