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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Why does my b/f keep masturbating to porn when he knows how much I hate it?
Q. Okay, literally I have caught my boyfriend of one year masturbating to porn countless times. Every time he's doing it he's had the option to just have sex with me but chooses masturbation instead. I assure you that we have a sex life and a great one ...
A. 31 August 2014: Ciar is right, If you can't handle it(pun intended) then leave him!... (read in full...)
Why don't I get approached by normal guys?
Q. I'm a young woman, and let's just say that I am very inexperienced with dating/guys/etc. I do have male friends but I've never gone on a date or had a boyfriend. I don't get out much nor do I meet many new people, but every single time I get hit on ...
A. 30 August 2014: I would hazard a guess that it is not you per se. The world has become a very course and rude place in the last few years. I see it all the time in younger men, they don't have respect... (read in full...)
Is my lack of sexual experience the reason I have so many doubts about my Gf's virginity? Was she really a virgin?
Q. I am love a very cute girl and she also, our relationship going on from last 2 year. our relationship going with love,emotions, some time fight, sadness but it is true great love having between us. one day we had decided that more close to ea...
A. 30 August 2014: Why don't you just believe her and let this nagging question leave your mind? Life is way too short to fret over such trival things. bust through a hmen is totally over-rated. and is not important at all. here is way too much emphisis plced on ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty about walking away from my drug addict guy. Was I wrong to take some distance?
Q. Hi everyone I have been in a relationship for a few months with a guy who is a drug addict. He uses coke, meth, heroin, etc. We recently spoke about his drug addiction and I told him that I will be there to support his recovery. He just has to ...
A. 30 August 2014: yeh, I'd feel guilty too if I told someone I'd be there for them and then left when times got tough. But oh well, you can't fix stupid and doing hard drugs is stupid not a sickness. good Luck... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never buy me gifts or flowers. Do you think this is petty of me to think this way or is this a problem?
Q. I buy my boyfriend nice gifts, all the time. Golf stuff, beer stuff, nice ties... He really doesn't do anything for me at all. He brought me a book for my birthday and a sex toy and that's about it. Otherwise, our relationship (one year so far...
A. 29 August 2014: i don't think it is petty of you at all. I think he just never learned anything at all about manners and/or polite uman interactin. was he raised in Arkansas or something? Being inconsiderate is typical of folks that just were not brought up ... (read in full...)
I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. Do I love her or is it just a crush?
Q. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since the day I first saw her. She is beautiful but so are many of the tens of thousands of girls on campus. Even though I was shy to even talk to her at first I got to know her and she is extremel...
A. 28 August 2014: Of course it's just a crush...true love is evasive and can't be 'felt' by just looking at someone. You have to get to know her. Pretty people can be axe murders too. So just let a relationship evolve.... (read in full...)
Everyone says, 'Do what you love' but I don't know what career I would love
Q. I'm 19 and have currently finished my final year in college. I applied to go to University however over the summer I have been thinking a lot about my career and I'm not 100% sure Journalism is what I want to do with my life. After thinking...
A. 28 August 2014: Nothing wrong with being a journalist, try it out to see if you love it, if not find other work. No one that I know ever knew what they really wanted to do until after their second or even third job. It's a big world try it all. You'll love some of ... (read in full...)
I think I might be pregnant! Should I tell my boyfriend?
Q. I think I might be pregnant but I don't want to say anything to my boyfriend before I know it's true. My boyfriend is 21 and im 17 and I'm on birth control but I accidentally missed 3 pills in a row. My boyfriends cums inside me but I thought that ...
A. 28 August 2014: Yes tell him, if he might be the father he probably wants to know how to plan his future.... (read in full...)
Expecting a baby with Bf. Looking for accomodation. Bf suggested adding a female room-mate. I said no. Was I wrong to say no to his idea?
Q. My boyfriend and I are currently apartment hunting. We are expecting a child in a few months and have been looking for a 2 bedroom apartment with little luck. The other day he messaged me telling me that one of his female coworkers was looking ...
A. 27 August 2014: Whnows she mit be a big help during the time you nehe most. Morth trying.... (read in full...)
I found out he watches porn and it makes me feel cheated
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and a couple of months ago I found out that he watches porn. I feel cheated on and lied to because he has always said that he doesn't watch porn because he loves and respects me too much to do so. I know a lot ...
A. 27 August 2014: T Lady doth protest too much methinks ( from amlet by Shakespeare) Relax, the world isn't coming to end. t's just porn(porn isn't real-it's fantasy to slake the thirst forings we cannot have.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Mom the things my cousin has shared with me about my father and the affair my father is having?
Q. My cousin [We'll call him R] came with me today with news that really shocked me. He told me my dad has been seeing a woman he graduated with who has a lot of money. The other day, R came to my house (I still live with my parents) and I wasn't the...
A. 27 August 2014: You don't want to get this rumor turned into a potwential divorce unless you're able to prove the rumor. this whole thing might be a figment of some imagionary visions that you've misread. Very dangerous waters here,stay calm and wait. hings like ... (read in full...)
Are we friends? More than friends?
Q. Dear Cupid, Thanks for taking the time to read this, here it goes! So I'm a 1 19 year old girl, and I've really fancied this girl who's 21 for around 2 years, on and off but I've always thought about her. It started on a weekend away two years a...
A. 27 August 2014: I would seem to me that ifyou feelings for her you should at least attempt to see if she's interested. Why not call her and ask her to dinner sometime?... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my boy friend but get off to lesbian porn??
Q. i have had a boyfriend for 2 and a half years no and i am deeply in love with him, i had never masturbated before but today i had a sudden erg so i went for it and found myself masturbating thinking about girls i then did it again but this time to ...
A. 27 August 2014: I'd bet that everyone gts off on lsbian porn...it's the best! no worries there. relax and enjoy the ride.... (read in full...)
Why does my b/f keep masturbating to porn when he knows how much I hate it?
Q. Okay, literally I have caught my boyfriend of one year masturbating to porn countless times. Every time he's doing it he's had the option to just have sex with me but chooses masturbation instead. I assure you that we have a sex life and a great one ...
A. 26 August 2014: Alrigt then, why not join him? Just the two of you and the computer images...Spwend some 'together time' Or, find out what he like and do it for him. don't get all bent outa shape ove it. It's just images on a screen not a real thing.... (read in full...)
If he really wasnt interested why would he have text me all of those months?
Q. So I was texting this guy who was working away for about 9 months. During that time we were talking about going places together when he came home. Now he is back on one hand he seems interested flirting etc but on the other tells people he isnt ...
A. 26 August 2014: Why what's wrong with asking guys out. Womens Lib and all that jazz. I thought the sexes were equal now?... (read in full...)
I go on a weekend away and come home to a boyfriend with what looks like a love bite on his neck
Q. Hi everyone! I'm just wanting your opinion on whether I'm being naive here! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years, I've never had a reason to not trust him! This weekend I went away with my friends for bank holiday and he went out ...
A. 26 August 2014: OMG he had an affair with a vampire,better lookout you'll be next! Girls that bite should be avoided at all cost!... (read in full...)
Girls are in control and I don't want my boyfriend to think any other way, so what should I do?
Q. Okay, so my bf was perfect, he blew off his friends for me in class he found excuses to sit next to me and every chance he got he spoke to me. but now he's in anouther world and we hardly speak... and he wont let me tell my bff we're dating because ...
A. 26 August 2014: Oh, I don't know, maybe he figured out that being totally controlled wasn't what he wanted and wised up to your controlling nature. You go boy!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to be a lone traveler!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating about two years now. He has a son with another woman unplanned. I've always known he's wanted to travel the world at some point and I never thought much of it as its something I'd like to do at some point too, not ...
A. 26 August 2014: You shouldn't worry about anything! e has made his choice and apparently it doesn't include you, pull up your 'big girl' pants anf move on to a happy life with someone else.... (read in full...)
What is best in giving oral sex to a man?
Q. I hope that my question is appropriate to be posted. I edited it and re submitted it but i don't understand why it is being said that i am asking a new question. I am again asking the same question. My question concerns giving oral sex to a man. I ...
A. 25 August 2014: Actually, Any and 'all the above' works just fine. To concern yourself over exact techniques is really dumb, just go at it any way you like and he'll like it too. Don't fret the small stuff.... (read in full...)
Am I not supposed to show my feelings? I am at a loss!
Q. I don't know what to do with my girlfriend anymore. I feel like I'm always failing, even when I don't know why or what I did wrong. I picked her up from work the other night with a bouquet of flowers, trying to be sweet. We went back to my place...
A. 23 August 2014: An age old dilema for sure, Men are not supposed to have feelings BUT when they don't express how they "feel" women go crazy. If we do express them, we're insensitive or selfish. Good luck y friend. It's a mysterywrapped in a puzzel. Yeah best to ... (read in full...)
How do I let this guy know I am interested? I think I came across as being rude and stuck up
Q. Hey, My Question is about a man I work close too, he always (well used too) Stare at me, turn up wherever I was, classic tell tale signs don't think that I need to go back into them, but I gave him nothing back didn't even say hello back, as I just ...
A. 23 August 2014: I wasn't aware there was a 'dating 101' course available. There's just common sense and basic human relations to draw from; try this: Put yourself in his place for a moment and think,"What is she thinking?" See if you can figure out what he'd like ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend sends me a friend request on Facebook after four years of not talking?
Q. Ok I have not spoken to my ex boyfriend in almost four years mainly because we had an ugly break up and he was kind of an asshole towards me after we broke up (rubbing his new gf in my face, calling me names) . It was to the point I couldn't take it ...
A. 23 August 2014: Possibly wants to rekindle an old flame? And yet another great reason to stay off of facebook!The hits just keep on coming.... (read in full...)
Is it pathetic of me to have fallen for a girl I met on vacation?
Q. I've just come back from a holiday and I'm really depressed.im not bothered about coming home, but I met a girl there called Beth, she was absolutely stunning, she had a younger brother and sister and she was so good with them, adorably cute with ...
A. 22 August 2014: Preserve that memory,that's all that's left you, Any chance of reaquainting? If yes, take that chance..if no, try to not obsess over her. Memories of chance encounters will keep you warm in your older years.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for an aged man to like Barely Legal Porn
Q. My husband is 56 and his porn preference is the Barely Legal porn. He also likes to have us watch it when we make love. I don't want to be a prude or sound like I come from the Victorian era, but is it normal for a man of that age to want to look ...
A. 22 August 2014: Normal?Yep! That's the way life goes those fantasies last a lifetime... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love your husband but contemplate leaving him?
Q. I have been married to my husband for 12 years. We have 2 beautiful children together. Since we got married, our marriage was always been a little tumultuous as my husband tends to be very moody and suffers from anxiety. He has refused professi...
A. 22 August 2014: Not to worry, you'd probably bsidered a bit wacky to not have an exit plan in mind should the whole thing go bad on you. Of course its possible to have feelings for someone that may prove to be intolerable to livewith. It happens all the time. ... (read in full...)
I found performance-enhancing pills -- should I ask him about them?
Q. I'm in a new relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months, it's going very nicely. Infact we confessed our true feelings a few days ago and told each other we love each other, we're both so happy :) My concern came about today when I came across so...
A. 22 August 2014: A lot of guys have what is referred to as performance anxiety. Sounds like he is concerned there could be a problem and dose not want to disappoint. They're not all that they're advertised to be though so if they don't work he will be double ... (read in full...)
We want a boy but I don't want my husband to be disappointed if it isn't
Q. Hello! I am 12 weeks pregnant, due in March 2015! My husband wants, a little boy, therefore I do to. I even talk to my stomach as if I were having a boy. But lately I have had a lot of anxiety inside me. I am so worried that, I will have a girl, I ...
A. 22 August 2014: Most expectant dads with half a brain know that it's 50/50 and he'll love a lil girl as much as a boy. don't fret over this..It's a wste of energy to try to anticipate how he wil or won't feel about something you have no control over. All guys want ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her how I feel? Should I ask her out?
Q. I wanna make plans to do something with this girl I like, I think She kinda likes me too but I'm not Sure yet.... Anyways I wanna ask her out but I'm afraid she'll say No or reject me, we remained friends for now, but I wanna change that... Should I ...
A. 21 August 2014: ask her out but hold off on expessing your feelins as you could scare her.... (read in full...)
I think my husband has a drink problem
Q. I believe my husband has a problem with alcohol, and I am just not sure how to deal with it anymore. Everyday, after work, he'd go to the off licence and buy vodka quarter bottle, and sit and drink it all while watching TV after work. He says it...
A. 21 August 2014: "they' say9whoever they are) that a heavy drinker has to hit bottom before he or she will ask for or accept help. I don't know wher 'bottom' is in your case but it sounds like he hit it several times already. You may have, and I hope this isn't the ... (read in full...)
I think my mum might be cheating on my dad?
Q. Im not gonna lie. I love my mother and shes my everything and we are so close to each other. but something weird is happening. One day she told us that we are going to meet a guy she used to know with his family. He has daughter close to my age and ...
A. 21 August 2014: Ok no take a deep breath, before you launch yourself into orbit over something negative, try to remain positive. nless you have other 'evidence' than what you have presented. This situation is more than likely VERY innocent. Tere is such a thing ... (read in full...)
Can I still pull it off with my childish underwear?
Q. I've never been sexually active with someone else before and never saw a need to impress. I'm having sex soon and don't know if my cotton polka dotted panties and plain bras will pull off the seductive look. I'm low on cash so can't go buying ...
A. 20 August 2014: You could buy a bunch of expensive "sexy" underwear and and would make NO difference, he's only interest in taking it off anyway... (read in full...)
My friend is trying to set me up in a LDR but I don't want to!
Q. So my friend is trying to set me up in a long distance relationship. The problem is that im not ready for a relationship and especially not long distance. Im 14. He is really really eager about it and I really do appreciate the effort and the ...
A. 20 August 2014: Your frien is an idiot(sorry but I'm right) He probably thinks Facebook is a really good place to find girls too. Any relationship is hard enough to hold together. A long distance one is twice as hard. o is he trying to set you up for failure? ... (read in full...)
How to love someone who has never been loved before?
Q. Basically I'm in a relationship with a guy who is 25 but never been loved in his whole life, not by his parents, friends and never before been in a relationship. Because of this when something goes bad in his life he becomes very isolated because he ...
A. 20 August 2014: My only advice is move slowly and with great care and empathy.... (read in full...)
Social priorities are just garbage now! Why have people become so messed up?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, forge here. I have realised that in society today, things between men and women are getting very ridiculous, and I want to know why. These are some points I think are good, and I'm sure someone out there will agree. This is ...
A. 20 August 2014: What a sad commentary from what sounds like a very jaded point of view. ou present a negative narrative from the eye of a young girl struggling for answers on just how to fit in to a confusing world of teenage years morphing into yog adult. I feel ... (read in full...)
My boss is a bully.
Q. My boss is a bully, he belittles my ideas and opinions,isolates me at work and even doesn't give me any feedback unless its negative. i have asked for a job evaluation and he has not replied my email. I cant just quit because i have a family to...
A. 19 August 2014: A job is a job! This day in time we all have to put up with a boatload of crap but at least you're employed. stick it out, karma will catch up with him... (read in full...)
My fiance accuses me of cheating.
Q. My fiance of four year has accused me of sleeping around. I have given him my undivided attention within the 4 years we have been together. He suffers from depression and iv been there always through his ups and downs. I cannot exept theses ...
A. 19 August 2014: epression is a very deep place to be in...he's probably having dark visions about losing you and the subconscious fils in the blanks. Don't write him off yet as a lost cause. If you can wait out his depression maybe you can both have a good laugh ... (read in full...)
They say your first kiss is your best, how do I get over the fact that I'm not my boyfriend's first?
Q. This is driving me insane....can anyone help please? So me and my bf are in love but recently I've been getting really insecure about his past especially the fact that I wasn't his first kiss but he was mine. It never bothered me before but I accide...
A. 19 August 2014: Each new relationship is a new chance at a first kiss drama. treasure each first kiss as a special gift. Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you. Drop the drama and relax, life will go on whether you want it to or not. You may have ... (read in full...)
He said his ex was better than me and then said he only said that in anger! What should I do?
Q. I met a guy via facebook 1 and half years ago. he becomes friend with me .almost from the first he wanted to do phone sex with me. He said he had no girlfriend. we met few times. then one day he told that he had few time did sex with a girl with ...
A. 19 August 2014: And Another GREAT EXAMPLE of how FB is a piece of crud that should be avoided as anything other than a good way to show the world what you had for lunch today.Whoop!... (read in full...)
I think he likes me but then he'll just leave me and high and dry. What's the deal?
Q. So Aunts and Uncles, here it goes. I met my best friends brother while he vacationed down here in Texas from New Jersey. We got on well, I thought. But he wouldnt make eye contact. Wouldnt stand close to me or even walk by me. He took my son and ...
A. 19 August 2014: And they say we southerners are the strange ones. I do believe you found the sterotypical Yankee BS artist...DO NOT move to Jersey or NEW YORK CITY, Texas is home stay here.... (read in full...)
He couldn't get it up and blamed it on the fact of he doesn't measure up to others I have dated
Q. About a month ago my male best friend and I came clean about our feelings for each other. Last night we were going to have sex for the first time; it wasn't planned. It just happened. But he couldn't get it up! I obviously was so upset because I ...
A. 19 August 2014: So...and how does he know that little tidbit of information?Did you let it out as a point of fact so that he'll forever know he is inferior to the others?... (read in full...)
Our marriage is growing apart and I think he may want a younger woman.
Q. My marriage is falling apart i have been married to my husband for 5 years and the last 18 months we seem to have grown apart there is no sexual contact if he kisses me to say goodnight or goodbye its like he doesn't want to kiss me on the lips i ...
A. 18 August 2014: We all have fantasy about younger women, but we almost never act on the fantasy because we know it's fantasy. The real world reminds us of our obligations whatever they may be. Why not try some porn together to spice things up? Could be he's just ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but feel like something is missing. Is this normal after the honeymoon phase has passed?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a little more than a year now. We've had one disagreement but it was very civil, we got over it, and it wasn't what I would consider a "fight" Long story short, I feel like I love him very dearly and could easily...
A. 18 August 2014: Of course the honeymoon always ends...Time to find a new BFF.In the adult world, here's the way it goes down; After maraige, if you put a penny in a big jar everytime you have sex until the first anniversary. Then from then on you take 2 pennies out ... (read in full...)
He couldn't get it up and blamed it on the fact of he doesn't measure up to others I have dated
Q. About a month ago my male best friend and I came clean about our feelings for each other. Last night we were going to have sex for the first time; it wasn't planned. It just happened. But he couldn't get it up! I obviously was so upset because I ...
A. 18 August 2014: Nope, not you, performance anxirty,,it takes us all down once in a while. Just one of those things.... (read in full...)
He couldn't get it up and blamed it on the fact of he doesn't measure up to others I have dated
Q. About a month ago my male best friend and I came clean about our feelings for each other. Last night we were going to have sex for the first time; it wasn't planned. It just happened. But he couldn't get it up! I obviously was so upset because I ...
A. 10 August 2014: He was under an enormous amount of performance pressure and I'm sure any man would have "failed" in that scenerio plus every man is convinced he won't measure up to her previous encounters especially if he is in any way 'under endowed' not to worry ... (read in full...)
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