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Calling all "toyboys"... Your views are needed!

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2006) 31 Answers - (Newest, 3 August 2009)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi! I know there is no definitive answer to this question but I'd appreciate some 'toyboys' responses to this one - what is that you 'toyboy's, for want of a better word, love about your older women? What is it about older women that you find attractive? Do you believe that a relationship where the women is, say 10 or more years older, can work in the long term? Any examples would be appreciated.

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A male reader, olliec United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2009):

Hello.

im a 20 year old man and after many failed relationships with people my own age i have found an amazing women. shes twice my age at 40 but is everything dersired by me. at first it was a fantasy to be with an older women but after spending much time and talking for hours and being with her its so much more we click. its exiciting, exilerating and i love it. age shouldnt matter and doesnt in my eyes. older women are great so much better than imiture, stuck up girls my own age.

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A male reader, Ryan Adam Harwood United Kingdom +, writes (17 August 2008):

When I was 25 I met a woman 10 years older than me. For the first 4 years our relationship was perfect then I wanted younger girls. For me when I was 25 the older woman was appealing when I turned 30 I found younger girls appealing to me not older ones. Long term I think no but in the short term yes. She loved me so much for my carefree ways and I loved her for her experience in life. Then it all went pear shaped because I was tired of her and it ended.

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A female reader, Emgee United Kingdom +, writes (14 June 2008):

My husband is 17 years younger than I am, I am 48 nearly 49 and this was a big issue for me when we met, he is the most caring, romantic man i have ever known, he knows how to treat a woman and I do not feel older than him, we get on very well and he is my soulmate, I can definately recommend a toyboy and

now when i look at men my age I just see an old man, is that a horrible thing to say???

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A female reader, Emgee United Kingdom +, writes (14 June 2008):

My husband is 17 years younger than I am, we met a year ago and he has filled my life with happiness, I dont feel older than him, age was an issue for me however he managed to pursuade me otherwise and I could not be happier, I have been married before to someone my own age and he did not make me feel the way my toyboy does, this may sound bad but I could not be with someone my own age again and no I dont go around trying to look younger by wearing ridiculous clothes however i am lucky and do look younger than my 48 years, I can definately recommend it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

im 19 and was virgin she is 53 and its like wow. its only for sex once in a while and been going on a year now and its still great. i would say sure go for it!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008):

I have been out with a toyboy in the past I was 26 years he was 17 it dident work he got very processive and demanding and laid alot of responsibility on to me there is no gaurentee it will last but I do like younger men more fun and they make you feel young again.

so can I have another one!

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A male reader, afarewell2kings United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2008):

i am a 21 year old male dating female in her 6 0s we certainly don care bout others prejudice i enjoy her company and the sex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007):

hi,i am 23 years old n i love older woman tho i have never been involved with one but would like to.

What i like bout older woman,i find them more sexualy attractive n more dominent they can show you the way,they know what they want,i feel i can get more on a leval with them n easyier to get on with.I would have know proplem goin out with an woman twice my age but realisticly it dont think it would work it depends on the age gap and campatilbility of the couple.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007):

After 2 failed marriages I have started seeing a toy boy. He is 26 and I am 42. He was attracted to me first through work and eventually we got together. I have never been good with new relationships, usually really shy but not with him. I am really happy for the first time ever, everything is fantastic.I don't feel any different age wise and we are so compatable. He introduces me to his friends and seems so proud that it makes me feel wonderful.I'm so pleased that I gave this relationship a chance and I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Life is for living

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007):

I am 65, and wanting to be a toyboy! Yes, the older ladies are great to be with, as they often do not get sny attention, and appreciate having the company of a man, and, with today's fast declining standards of behaviour, it is, perchance, a chance for us older guys to shine, having retained the quality of good manners and courtesy which are imperative, and not to be overlooked. A Toyboy must always treat his lady as special, in and out of bed.

Whilst it is quite normal for the ladies to have much younger toyboys, I really must stand up for the guys and ask as to why we can't have toygirls without being labelled as perverts? I am quite happy to have a toygirl or older lady, as long as they are enjoying themselves. Age is but two numbers, but, with age, cometh experience, so, in the immortal words of the late John Inman."I'm free".

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007):

I'm a 36 year old woman and have been having some fun with a 19 year old guy. When I met him I was very flattered by his attention but couldn't take him seriously due to the age gap. He persisted until he won me over and then I discovered just how exciting and not to mention ego-boosting the experience could be - the perfect anti-dote to getting over a recent painful split from a long, serious relationship with a man, of similar age to me, who was very critical and controlling.

My toyboy makes me feel young again (and very special), and I have rediscovered aspects of me which I thought had disappeared for good. As a result I look at least 5 years younger than I did when I was with the older guy. I know it's just a fling with my 19 year old, and I told him I'm not going to try and tie him down - but my feelings for him are deepening and do get a bit hard to control sometimes....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007):

Hi I am a woman of nearly 40, and I have been told I look a lot younger. I like dating younger men, because they are more fun and energetic, they are not set in their ways and have more of a relaxed and positive attitude as well make fantastic lovers.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007):

I am 16 yrs older than my 18yr old toy boy, and he is great!! Of course he has temper tantrums wat teenager doesnt!!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2007):

Older women are extremely sexy, and a massive turn on. My last girlfriend was 10 years older than me. The answer may be that younger men like mature women because they are beautiful.horny, sexy and know how to treat and use a submissive younger man. And I'm free! Huw XXX.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007):

I'm a guy of 32 who has been in 3 relationships with older women. Two of them didn't last for very long, but I was in a very happy and loving relationship with a lady of 43 (I was 26) for nearly 2 years. The reason it ended was from the pressure she had placed upon her from her family, friends, neighbours and work colleagues, which ranged from conversations to persuade it wouldn't last, smutty jokes and even 'bitchiness' I think stemmed from jealousy. In the end she told me she couldn't handle it and, in tears, told me it was over.

I still find more mature women attractive, simply because their personalities are far more rounded and interesting. I'm probably reasonably mature for age, so I usually find I have much more in common with all people slightly older than me, and conversation more enjoyable. As a plus point, the physical side of things are usually much better when it's a woman with a younger chap!

My point is - things can work if you both have the same expectations (whether it's a purely physical thing or the whole 'partner for life' thing) and, most importantly, you're strong enough to see it through - expect to have other people turning their noses up at you from time to time. I know a chap who's 35 who has been married to a lady of over 50 for 12 years, with a child now - and I've never seen them happier.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007):

hi im an older woman , i have been seeing a guy of 20 and im 40 (dont feel it), i am under no illusions that it wil last for ever, i think we both started out thinkin it was a lust only thing, but few months on the deepness of our feelings seems to be taking over, and i have to say im scared stupid, BUT we are so compatable and so passionate it would be impossible to stop now, so at the moment im going to enjoy the best, most uncomplicated and easiest relationship of my life

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007):

i a toyboy. older women they know wot they want in life! they already done everthing. they or i could learn new tricks from each other on many things. they don,t play games. sex gets better with age diffrence.older women appeal more

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007):

Hi!

When I was 18 I had a relationship with a 29 year old woman who was married with a 6 year old son at the time. We fell in love and were inseperable for a long time. We moved in together and were happy for over 4 years. However, I went to University, she began hanging around with some serious socialites and things went rapidly downhill. We split due to both wanting different things and nearly ended up in court over money etc. I never see he now. I miss her tho. She was cool. Wish we had just been friends from the start. I prefer older women. They are more fun. Just dont ever kid yourself that age dosent matter. It will in the end.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2006):

n

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2006):

Yes I've been a toyboy. I was 23 and she was 49 at the the time and married. It was purely a physical thing. Sometimes I still see her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006):

no matter what the age if the other person doesn't want tied down it won't work.i do beleive we only live once so enjoy what you have as long as you have it!!or as janice says (get it while you can!!)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2006):

well i have been a toyboy to quite a few women.for me ive always found older women more attractive as they are more relaxed with who they are alot more than younger women do,they are more of a challenge to a younger man as they have heard all the "bull" before,and they also make the worlds best lovers.im 22 at the moment and i feel i could make it work with someone like that more than an immature girl who expects to change you in every way possible rather than accepting who i am. Gary bucks,uk

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2006):

Hello..

I'm a 27 year old... and since the age of 17 I've only ever dated older women... for me it much more comfortable to be in a relationship with an Older Lady. They have a natural confidence.. and clearly know themselves better than their younger conterparts. Most times I've found that the older Lady tends to take a more controlling stand i the relationship... which can be a good thing..

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A female reader, beenthere +, writes (30 January 2006):

i am neither a toy boy or an older woman. just thought i'd give you another perspective on this. my partner is 5 years older than me but prefers older women. i have noticed that they don't even have to be attractive. just older. in fact, i've noticed that some of the older women he's been interested in are really frumpy. one was even a manic depressive alcoholic! anyway, my point is that men do not mature. i think the older woman thing is that they need a replacement for their mother who can look after them. i don't know if this is true for other men but i do feel that, although i am more mature than my partner, he would rather have someone who he can expect to clear up after him.

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A female reader, mystify +, writes (30 January 2006):

mystify agony aunthi,

i am not a toyboy , but i am an 'older woman' i am nearly 8 years older than my husband who i met when he was just turned 17 and apart from my worrying everything is great we have been together over 2 years and have 2 kids , if anything he isthe more mature one , he loves me more than anything and i think he actually thinks its cool that i am older (even if i kinda wiskh i wasnt , hehe)

i dont feel any older than him inside and when we are together i know its right

i hope this helps

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (29 January 2006):

willywombat agony auntYes it can. I am only 5 years older than my husband but we have been together 8 years since he was 23 and it works!

It is down to the compatibility of the two people involved, not age.

Have a good time x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2006):

hi, i dont know if you would consider me a toyboy, but i'm in love with a 23 year old woman, and im only 17. i can only speak for myself, but i love this woman because of who she is, and i am rather mature for my age. for me, i prefer a woman to a girl, because they are confident with themselves and know what they want. also alot of young women, i find, are too giddy and hyper to be able take seriously enough. I dont know if this helps you but this is just my experiance

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006):

From the writer of the question to the previous person who answered:-

I appreciate your honest answer. So I gain from your answer that I should leave toyboys well alone unless I just want a purely physical relationship?

It would be great to hear from some men who have made the toyboy/older woman relationship work, and are not just 'servicing ... old ladies'!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006):

Honestly, as king "toyboy" being with an older women will never work in the long term. It's always physicial, sex, no matter how you sugar coat it. I always have a great time servicing my old ladies but when they want me to take them out in public or hang with me and my friends I dump them....FAST!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006):

I am the writer of the question. Thank you very much for your answer mister-squid. In answer to ‘Found yourself a toyboy, then?’, the answer is possibly, but I definitely don’t fall in the category of ‘Helen’ - in fact I would say I was the complete opposite!

Keep the opinions and examples coming, everyone!

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A male reader, mister-squid +, writes (9 January 2006):

mister-squid agony auntIf you want an example, I was with a 26 year old not long ago, and I was 17 at the time. It can work in the long term, as long as she's not a lying, stealing, cheating bitch like.. We'll call her "Helen" was. As long as the "toyboy" finds a good woman, age isn't really a factor, if they love eachohter.

Found yourself a toyboy, then? ^_^

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