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Back together now, but it hurts me to think of my partner with other people while we were split up...

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Please i need advice on how to forget. I have got back with my partner after we split from a longterm relationship of about 4 yrs. But someone come between us because they were jealous of what we had. Then the two of them slept together while we were apart. even though that person had a family of there own. my partner also dated other people just as i did. But i know this is totally wrong of me but it just cuts me up inside, and makes me feel really uncomfortable to be with my partner sexually just think of those too having nights together. please advise me what to do, i understand thats is silly that im this way but i don't know what to do to feel better about it. its not the past people my partner dated that hurts me its just that paticular one. I hate being like this please give me advise

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A female reader, mystify +, writes (9 January 2006):

mystify agony auntyou are not being silly to feel that way...its only natural, when you got together you imagined there would be noone else, now your having to get used to the fact there was.

i was in a similar situation once, and i seemed to get comfort from the fact that i was back with the person i loved and that i could share with him and care about him again which was better than missing him.

concentrate on the new times you have together almost like putting everything in the past including in part the relationship you had with him before and start again FRESH!

say to yourself the mistakes you made were made by the people you were (people you used to be) concentrate on now, make new happy memories and look forward not back.

i really hope this helps :0)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006):

My advice is from the other side of the situation. I was with a guy who had broken up with a long term partner and is now back together with her. We were together for a little while and whilst I wanted something with him - he really was unavailable.

I was the person imbetween who never had any sort of real relationship with someone I was keen on because even though he was broken up from her, his heart wasn't.

It was not fun to know that he went back to her and I was just a little fun fling on the rebound when I was really after something more serious than that.

You are back with him, this other person may have slept with him when you weren't with him but he's dating you again. Obviously his heart is with you or he would have stayed with this other woman.

Don't worry about it. Life is too short and whilst you are annoyed that he slept with someone else, he came back to you. Isn't that the main thing?

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