A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I desperately need help to get the love of my life back.About 3 years ago we started dating, just casually at first but it became something more. After about a year he wanted to set up home with me, see me constantly and just generally have more commitment from me. I was a total workaholic and my life as it was didn't leave much time for him. Eventually I sat him down and said that I couldn't be with him anymore, I didn't have time for him and couldn't offer him the kind of relationship that he wanted. He accepted it and although our relationship ended, we stayed in touch. Neither of us have been in another relationship since. A few things have happened in the last couple of months that have made me re-evaluate things, a friend suddenly lost their life at a young age and another friend split with her husband after almost 20 years of being unhappy together and it all made me realise that life is too short.I decided that I needed to make some big changes so ive cut down my hours at work and spent some time 'finding myself' and have now realised that everything he wanted a few years ago is exactly what I want and I was unbelievably foolish to let him go. I spoke to him and completely opened up with him the other night and laid all the cards on the table, told him how stupid I'd been and I wish that it hadn't taken me so long to realise everything and basically asked him if we could maybe start again. His reply was not what I'd hoped. He said up until a couple of months ago he'd loved me dearly, been madly in love with me in fact, but he'd come to terms with the fact that we didn't want the same things and now his feelings had changed and he doesn't want to give it another go. He said that from his experience, once your feelings for another person go, its so hard, maybe impossible to get them back to how they were. Im crushed. Any advice at all on how to get him back? I cant believe I let him go in the first place, biggest mistake of my life!
View related questions:
at work, crush, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (11 June 2015):
 Bide your time.... Stay in contact with him... but DON'T "chase" him.....
I predict that he'll come around by November....
Good luck..
A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (11 June 2015):
 Love and being together has to be of mutual consent.
He already expressed that he currently doesn't feel the same for you. You need to respect that. Just as he respected your decision to break up with him to concentrate on work.
If you truly love him, give him space and time. Do not pressure him. Continue being his friend. In time, if the two of you are meant to be, you will find each other again. If not, then it might not be so bad to have a forever friend in him.
Good Luck!
...............................
|
