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Should I let the urge to contact my ex boyfriend just pass?

Tagged as: Long distance, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 June 2015)
A female France age 26-29, *arnes66 writes:

Its been 7 months since the last time we spoke.We were on and off for few years because the distance was a huge factor since neither of us was ready to move. We live 4 hours apart and it was too much not being able to see each other whenever we want.

He ended up meeting someone new and he said he liked her a loot.I felt jealous and hurt but I understood that he needs someone closer to him he can date.I decided to cut off contact so I can move on.However,I haven’t really dated anyone since.I had a crush on someone at work and I thought we had a potential but then I found out he has a live in girlfriend. Now I lost hope and I know nothing will come out it.

My ex has been on my mind lately and I am contemplating texting him just to see how he is.I am not looking to get back together since the root cause of the breakup, distance, hasn’t been resolved .I am not sure if its good idea because it might bring back the old feelings and I was jealous when he told me he met someone new.Now I have came to accept it but I am not sure if I would jealous if they still together and going strong.I would like to see him if he is single

I am just not sure if I should just let the urge pass?What could go wrong if I contact him?

View related questions: at work, crush, get back together, jealous, move on, my ex, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2015):

We are in very similar situations. I have to tell you what I struggle to tell myself, because I don't want it to be true:

You must not contact him. I know it's not easy. Believe me, I think about sending my ex an email multiple times a day, every day. It's been six months since I decided to stop being his bit on the side while he had a new girlfriend, blocked him on skype, and sent him a "I'm getting so much stronger now and don't need you dragging me back to where I was 4 years ago" email, which I can't go back on.

I desperately want to know if he and his girlfriend have broken up yet. I tried asking a mutual friend if she's "heard from him lately" but they stopped talking to him even before I did.

I want to know what he's doing. I want to tell him everything about my life and the things I'm accomplishing. But I know I have to stop that. What I'm doing now is none of his business. I'm moving on, and I need to keep going.

The fact that you only want to see him if he's single shows you are not ready to talk to him.

If he's not single, you'll be jealous and upset all over again. Why do that to yourself, just to be able to talk to some guy? And if he was single and the feelings came up again, you wouldn't be able to act on them and that would only make you miserable. Either way, talking to him is regressive.

You are worth more than that. Take care of yourself. It's like getting over an addiction: one day at a time. Best wishes :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2015):

Whew, this is ruff. I know how you feel you spend your time with someone you love and share everything the good and bad you depend on that person and you listen to there problems you comfort them and they support you and now it seems it's over for a lifetime. You know what contact him get it out of your system or live with regret that you didn't, life is short and this is the live or die in your relationship.

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A female reader, MSA United States +, writes (1 June 2015):

MSA agony auntThis is something that you just need to let go. Do not contact your ex. You are healing, don't move back wards by contacting him again. You are not ready to be friends yet. You may end up causing more stress for yourself and also for them.

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