A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,I have a issue with my man, he is half Hispanic and half whiteHe is great and funny and sweet but there's this problem A few days ago..He told me this racist joke Like what 3 things scares a black man away and then he said a education, a job application and a nightstick. And he said that we should get the neighbors a fence so that they can practice jumping it cuz that's how all mexicans get into this countryI was so digested by this comment he madeWhat should I do?Is he racist? Please I need help with this Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (21 April 2011):
 There is a distinction between being what you might call a 'casual racist' which is what I think your bf is and a hard-core far-right activist which I dont think he is. Alot of people are casually racist in that they unthinkingly repeat prejudice, especially about immigration, or tell racist jokes. I get what you mean and I feel the same way. But on the other hand I dont think this should be a deal breaker. My dad does it all the time and I just grimace and bear it and change the conversation.
If he does it too much you might have to talk to him about it but otherwise id just try and shrug it off.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): Thats just awful awful, poor style of humor.When I was younger I had those jokes too lol and Im def not racist. I love all people. I can almost assure you he's okay. Just tell him that you found his words to be very immature, insensitive, and offensive.
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A
male
reader, jrns96 +, writes (21 April 2011):
Jokes like this are typical in my highschool. In fact these very same jokes circulated months ago. However if you look at the U.S. 20+ years ago, or Nazi Germany, you see what real racism is. Hatred and cruelty toward someone of a different heritage BECAUSE of their heritage.
These are jokes. Crude, insipid jokes, but jokes all the same. Tell him he's not funny. That usually suts up the jokers around my school. A simple point blank observation will wreck his entire train of thought.
Hope I helped. :D
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (21 April 2011):
 I generally presume there's a line between making jokes in poor taste and being all-out racist. You could stick with "benefit of the doubt" for now, while informing him that you thought the joke was not appropriate.
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A
male
reader, Seraph  +, writes (21 April 2011):
i think it depends on how much does he make such jokes,if it's frequent,then he has a problem or maybe he's just a bad joker,and after all i think u should let him know how u feel about this.what race are u by the way?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): I don't like racist jokes at all... if it bothers you that much, tell him how you feel. Just tell him, Hey, no bashing blacks/hispanics/etc.
This isn't grounds for a breakup, IMO, but you are entitled to your feelings. I HATE it when my friends tell jokes about gays... I tell them that I LIKE gay people, pure and simple.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): come on.. he's clearly joking. lighten up.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (21 April 2011):
 A little bit insensitive perhaps but I doubt he is actually racist. He is just using stereotypes to make bad jokes. Are there ever any other signs that he might actually have something against other races? If it bothers you, talk to him about it if it truly disgusts you.
I hope that helps.
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