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We flirted and talked on a bus trip. Now he avoids me like the plague. Why?

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Question - (11 June 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 June 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Recently I went on a trip to France with my school and there was a guy I really liked on the trip. So it was like a 16 coach journey and because seating was alphabetical I was sat next to him. We spent the entire journey there talking and casually flirting. By the end of the trip on the way back things were looking really promising for something and I was under the impression that he liked me back ( kept smiling and talking to me, also he said I made the trip worthwhile). Also one of his friends on the trip kept making little remarks about me and him.

So when I got back to school and the first class I'm in him with I smiled at him and was at least expecting a smile back. He completely ignored me and has every single lesson. He doesn't even look at me except once when he looked at me in a really judging way.

I'm really confused ! I know I might have been jumping to conclusions but he really acted like he liked me. I don't understand why he is ignoring me all of a sudden. If he doesn't like me I still wouldn't expect him to be avoiding me like the plague. Why Is he doing this and is there anything I can do ? I've tried to talk to him but he always finds an excuse to leave or just ignores me.

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A male reader, mrg123 United Kingdom +, writes (11 June 2011):

mrg123 agony auntGiven what school is like - full of tittle-tattle and gossip - and you specified he 'looked at you in a judging way' I would imagine what has happened is quite clear. Somebody has been telling tales behind your back and put him off.

Maybe a jealous friend of his who doesn't want you coming between them or indeed, if it's a she, wants him for herself. Now, what to do about this? Im not sure there is alot you can, directly approaching him is pretty much out of the question I think.

The only thing I can think is, do you have a mutual friend or somebody who would be prepared to subtly inquire what has happened on your behalf? This is about the only suggestion I can think of.

Good luck and take care :)x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011):

This is one of those situations that arises a lot and is unfortunate and frustrating! I had a similar thing happen a few years ago and it annoyed me so much so I feel your pain! Perhaps an element of it could be that because other people noticed you getting on well his friends and stuff have interfered with him (not in a bad way on you) and maybe taken the mickey out of him chatting up a girl etc and winding him up and he feels by talking to you it will only encourage their matey teasing! These situations are always strange when we are in a circumstance with someone we don't know but end up getting on brilliantly until the circumstance changes and we are back in normality. Although it is difficult to analyse what he is thinking I would say that the best thing you to do is treat him as he treats you e.g. don't put the effort in and funnily enough I think you will find that might encourage a bit of action from his side and hopefully a bit of initiative from him. I have found a lot particularly with the guy I am with at the moment when I put in too much effort he takes it for granted and doesn't really put much into things but the second I ignore him for a couple of days / act like I don't care then he is interested! If your guy doesn't make the effort then he isn't worth it and although it was nice to have a wee holiday flirtation maybe that is what it should be left as! Hope he mans up and comes and has a chat!! X

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