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*oo's Mum

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Enough is enough! His alcoholism has resulted in him threatening me and make me feel insecure. What can I do and where can I seek help?

Q.   I have been married for 13 yrs, my husband had been drinking since I met him it didn't use to bother me at first. This is because he will act nice and become nicer later. But lately he had become aggressive. Everytime he drinks he will start acti...

A.   27 December 2012: Book tickets home and get the hell out of there with your children.... (read in full...)

He did this in the past, before we met. The image of this in my head is disturbing. How can I get over my disgust that he once had a threesome?

Q.   My boyfriend recently admitted to me that he has had a threesome in the past. I questioned him some about it, and he had went into some detail and even said that at the end the both of them "sucked him off and shared his load." I felt comp...

A.   27 December 2012: You are right it is not fair to hold the past against him. Why should you feel disrespected by something he has done in his past? Everyone has a past even you.... (read in full...)

Why is my wife's family and my wife keeping big secrets from me? Why is my wife saying she loves me when clearly saying otherwise to others? what are my options?

Q.   Hello, My wife and I live across a ocean! She is doing her post grad studies back home and I am working in Europe. Two months after I left for work and medical reasons (operation) my wife started seeing some guy. She had told her friends th...

A.   27 December 2012: Your wife is playing you. Confront her with your findings and demand answers. Life is too short to stay with someone who doesn't have your back.... (read in full...)

Has my Gf broken up with me? Due to my phone re-set I can't call her. No a word since last friday? What am I supposed to make of this?

Q.   So i been on christmas Break for a couple days now, and i havent heard from my Gf Once. :/ The last time we talked was on Friday because i went over her house so we could spend some time Together. I been waiting for her to text me, call me and it's...

A.   27 December 2012: Go round and see her... (read in full...)

My Bf is totally reluctant to have sex. At all. How do I approach a conversation with him about this so we can work it out?

Q.   So my boyfriend is not interested in sex. I know it has nothing to do with me. This is just who he is. His previous relationships have had the same problem. One relationship ended because of it. I have no interest in breaking up with him as ...

A.   27 December 2012: Sorry but I can't see this relationship lasting. Even though you are crazy about him your needs are not being met. This will end up being a big problem. All the best to you!!... (read in full...)

I trust him. But should he have gone to this holiday destination hot spot? I'm anxious.

Q.   My boyfriend of 3 years has just gone to a holiday destination for a week with the lads. I trust him completely and I know he loves me. I'm very anxious and nervous though what he may get up to but not paranoid as obviously there are a lot of half...

A.   23 June 2012: If you trust him completely then why are you anxious and nervous? Complete trust should mean you send him off with a kiss and never give it a second thought about what he might get up to.... (read in full...)

My husband of one year shows me no love or affection is it time to leave?

Q.   my husband have been married for almost a year, our anniversary is in 2 months, and i think we are on the verge of a divorce. He shows me no love or affection, but only tells me he loves me when i bring it up. i cant even remember the last time he ...

A.   17 June 2012: A lot of the way you are feeling will be due to the fact that you are pregnant. Pregnancy causes your hormones to skyrocket and they make you feel extremely emotional and irrational. For a lot of guys a pregnancy doesn't mean much to them in the ... (read in full...)

I'd rather my boyfriend used his imagination rather than porn

Q.   Does anyone share my views... I still think id rather my boyfriend use his imagination and think of other people than use porn, does anyone else have a similar view? ...

A.   17 June 2012: My last post sounds a bit man bashy and I didn't actually mean it like that. Men are very visual and need to actually see something rather than imagine it.... (read in full...)

Why do I still like this girl and how can I let go of her?

Q.   Good evening. I will keep this short. I liked this girl for a long time. She was dating someone then broke up. I transferred to a different university, but told her I liked her before I left (this would have been 4 months after she separate...

A.   17 June 2012: That's true you would get some closure and you will be closed off from other opportunities when you are always thinking of her. Life is short get on and find out once and for all and move on. All the best to you.... (read in full...)

Is she just to shy to message me? Even though she left 3 hickeys on my neck?

Q.   I was at a party monday night. We made out and touched each other and I was alil drunk but she told me about a skin disease she has. And I asked for her number then She told me she could only receive calls on her phone and not make them. But t...

A.   16 June 2012: She could be just really busy? Message her again and see if she replies. If she doesn't let it go it wasn't meant to be.... (read in full...)

Why do I still like this girl and how can I let go of her?

Q.   Good evening. I will keep this short. I liked this girl for a long time. She was dating someone then broke up. I transferred to a different university, but told her I liked her before I left (this would have been 4 months after she separate...

A.   16 June 2012: Are you heading out and having fun with your mates at all or are you just locking yourself away and pining for this girl? The only way to get over someone is to throw yourself out there and hang out with people and have fun. ... (read in full...)

I'd rather my boyfriend used his imagination rather than porn

Q.   Does anyone share my views... I still think id rather my boyfriend use his imagination and think of other people than use porn, does anyone else have a similar view? ...

A.   16 June 2012: Most guys don't have much imagination!... (read in full...)

My boyfriend barely lasts for 10 seconds during sex!!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend had been having sex for 5 months now but we jus start dating back in march, hes sex is good and but he only lasts for maybe 10 seconds, what does that mean???? He always says sorry because he cums so fast, but i always say its ok ...

A.   16 June 2012: He should cum first during foreplay and then keep going to get aroused again for sex. He wont be so sensitive then and will last longer.... (read in full...)

Is my self esteem low because I am pregnant?

Q.   dear cupid, im married for about a year now with the most loving and caring husband.. Now im pregnant. Recently, my husband and i just moved in our new house. I am sometimes bored in our house. So i thought to open my husbands old laptop.. There i ...

A.   16 June 2012: How do you know it's his penis in the picture. I can't imagine it's possible to take a picture of your own penis in action. It's time for you to ask a few questions of him as there should be nothing but trust between you both.... (read in full...)

Has the past led us to where we are now?

Q.   I have been really helped in the past on here so I'll try again. I am engaged, very happily (or so I thought). We are a couple that has been together for 5 years, with a 2 year break up in the midde. During that time we both went a bit crazy, sle...

A.   16 June 2012: Yes it's true that your past shapes your future and that it makes you the current person you are. However the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour so it may pay to have a serious talk with her over your thoughts and worries.... (read in full...)

I have become extremely self-conscious, how do I find my old confidence?

Q.   At the beginning of the year.. i was rejected by a man i wanted ... but who turned out to not want me. with trying to get over that... I became extremely depressed [coming out of it now]... but I have also become more spiritual as a result [which ...

A.   16 June 2012: You are in position that many many of us have been in before. The only way to fix this is to keep putting yourself out there and making yourself experience the things you are nervous of. The more successes you have the easier it will become and ... (read in full...)

How important is relationship experience?

Q.   This is a question that has been circling my head for sometime and I was wondering if you ladies can help me out with it. How important is it to you that a guy that you might date has prior relationship experience? I ask this because I'm a guy who ...

A.   16 June 2012: If she is worth it, your dating background shouldn't have any bearing on how she feels about you.... (read in full...)

Its hard for me to get in the mood when I don't see my husband that often

Q.   My husband is a workaholic. I don't mind, because I am a competitive equestrian and I have my own life. In the rare times when we see each other all he wants to do is have sex, but I have a hard time getting arroused, because I haven't been around ...

A.   16 June 2012: Reading books with great sex scenes in them is always a great way to get you in the mood also a bit of porn is always good.... (read in full...)

I rarely feel like having sex. Is there anything I can do naturally to help this problem?

Q.   I'm a 30 year old man. I very rarely feel like Sex. I know it's affecting my relationship. I always want to sleep as soon as I lie down. I fall asleep so easily, after sex, if we have it, I fall straight asleep. I dread the thought of sex. When we ...

A.   16 June 2012: I would get your hormone levels checked. It's possible for men to become low in testosterone and too high in estrogen. Being too high in estrogen when you are a male does have a big effect on your sex drive.... (read in full...)

Can you have ED without a cause?

Q.   I'm in my forties , healthy guy, and I live in a good relationship with my wife. So one day suddenly, after years without any problem, I just lost my erection, in the middle of sex. We didn't think too much about it, but when I tried it again, it ...

A.   22 May 2012: I would get another opinion and preferrably from a doctor who specialises in ED and sexual issues. Don't give up until you have an answer.... (read in full...)

What if we go to the beach and my boyfriend just wants to look at girls who are more fit and prettier than me?

Q.   Hi. I might sound insecure asking this, well because I am about the topic. I want to go to the beach with my friends and boyfriend. But the problem is that I am overweight. Not that he is in tip top shape but I am a size 12 tops and size 12/14 ...

A.   22 May 2012: Go get your bikinni and pat yourself on the back for taking control of your life. ... (read in full...)

My husband keeps cards from his ex wife out in the open and hangs around with a psycho ex girlfriend claiming that they're "friends"! What is going on?

Q.   My husband and I have recently moved house, and we are still in the process of putting things away. Today, on a shelf in the den/study, where he had just put everything where he wanted it, there was this card in plain sight. It said,'To my husband', ...

A.   22 May 2012: I hope he's not using you for your money????? It all sounds a little fishy to me. If I were in your shoes I'd be burning the card in front of him and reminding him of his clutter issues and then demaning an explanation. You are putting up with... (read in full...)

Is getting tattoos on my butt cheeks a good idea?

Q.   I'm thinking of getting tattoos on my butt cheeks. I wanted to know if guys typically like that. I was doing it for myself and then I over heard a male friend react negatively towards it. I was going to get a centaur with a bow and arrow on one ...

A.   8 May 2012: If you want to get a tattoo it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. You should be getting it because you want it and like it.... (read in full...)

Can anyone help me piece together a way to approach and break it off with him?

Q.   Hi everyone, I'm not exactly sure how I should start off , I apologize if this is too lengthy. But I really need some sound advice, so here goes...My boyfriend and I have been in a on and off relationship for 6 years. The "on" part of it was ...

A.   8 May 2012: Red flags everywhere with this guy. He is a LOSER! DO NOT go any further with this. Change your numbers and keep them unlisted. Don't answer the door unless you know it not him. Cut off any kind of contact avenues he could possibly pursue to ... (read in full...)

How can we get past this, and how can I drop him out of my mind so I can fully love my wonderful girlfriend?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have a wonderful relationship. Unfortunatly, her last one was not so great. He would tell her she 'dressed like a whore' and other verbal absuses. He also used to slap her during sex and pass it off as 'normal' (she would later ...

A.   8 May 2012: It is natural that you would feel anger towards someone who hurt someone you love. What you need to keep in mind is that she has ended that relationship and has chosen you to spend her life with. Focus on that rather than the past.... (read in full...)

How do people cope with the knowledge that their spouse probably had better sex with at least one of their exes?

Q.   I realize people are tired of the never-ending retroactive jealousy questions, but please try to bear with me. Believe me, if it were possible to solve this by simply telling myself it's irrational, dumb, pointless, a double standard, the past ...

A.   7 May 2012: Does this woman actually make you happy? If not then I would seriously think about whether or nnot this marriage is right for you.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is driving me nuts, he's always busy!

Q.   My boyfriend is driving me nuts! He is in the last year of college and seems to have a lot of work now, which I don't mind, I just want him to sucseed in life! But he is a nightmare when it comes to doing any work, when he is in school all he does ...

A.   5 May 2012: Sorry sweetheart but he is obviously finding your relationship too much or he would be spending every possible spare moment with you. Try backing off completely. Arrange your own social life with your girlfriends and go out and have a bit of fun ... (read in full...)

Why are girls wearing clothes you can see their butts in?

Q.   It is starting to get warm out now and why do a lot of the girls wear their shorts so short? I have seen sport shorts and cutoffs and they all seem to be extemely short, to the point that their cheeks are hanging out. I have also seen dresses that ...

A.   5 May 2012: It's a combination of sex sells and fashion all wound together. Those girls will grow up one day and look back on their fashion sense with distain or amusement but in the mean time they need to express themselves in the best way they know how. ... (read in full...)

I am engaged to a good man who will only have sex with me about once a month.

Q.   I need a lot of advice. I am engaged to a good man who will only have sex with me about once a month. (If I'm lucky) ... here's our history... we've been together for 6 years. I wanted to marry him as soon as I met him. During the 2nd month he ...

A.   5 May 2012: It is true that relationships change and sexual desire cools after the inital lust stage but it really seems like something is going on with him given that he used to be right into it and now isn't. He's keeping quiet about something!... (read in full...)

How do people cope with the knowledge that their spouse probably had better sex with at least one of their exes?

Q.   I realize people are tired of the never-ending retroactive jealousy questions, but please try to bear with me. Believe me, if it were possible to solve this by simply telling myself it's irrational, dumb, pointless, a double standard, the past ...

A.   4 May 2012: Based on what you've told us I would venture that she knew sex was that guys currency and because she wanted him she used his currency to persuade him that he wanted her too. She sounds, from your description, like a person who stives hard to get ... (read in full...)

I want to live with my boyfriend, but because we have no money, he'd have to move in with me and my parents!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We are VERY serious with one another and plan a future together (marriage, kids etc). We don't have any children or live together right now. However, lately I've been thinking we are ready to live to...

A.   4 May 2012: If your parents are happy with you both moving in together then there is no problem.... (read in full...)

I am engaged to a good man who will only have sex with me about once a month.

Q.   I need a lot of advice. I am engaged to a good man who will only have sex with me about once a month. (If I'm lucky) ... here's our history... we've been together for 6 years. I wanted to marry him as soon as I met him. During the 2nd month he ...

A.   4 May 2012: Honestly I would seriously think about marrying this guy. If the lack of sex didn't bother you either then I'd say go for it but since it does bother you then it's going to be a big problem in your marriage. Also the fact that he made you feel ... (read in full...)

I have let a 19 year old chat me up, and now I'm wondering, what's the harm?

Q.   Been a silly girl I know. But have let a 19 yr old chat me up, he's obviously only after one thing, trouble is, I am 40. We're both single. But... Anyway, I have been single 4 yrs now, and working non stop, I keep thinking so what! Bit of fun? All...

A.   4 May 2012: None of us can predict whether or not you will become "fond" of him or not. My only suggestion is if you don follow this through make 100% sure he's not friends with one of your teens otherwise you really are headed for trouble.... (read in full...)

Was I being a pushover by agreeing to my friend's demands?

Q.   I've had my best friend for about 5 years. He's a dude and I'm a chick but we have a really siblingish friendship, we're the same age and we often tell each other everything. But recently he's been kind of selfish and insensitive. ...

A.   27 April 2012: I don't think you were a pushover but I he think was a complete wanker for demanding you do all these paintings. Don't ever compromise yourself like this for him again. You have to paint what inspires you not what you are demanded to paint. Would ... (read in full...)

She said once we were married the sex would get better, but here I am a year later and she still does not want sex!

Q.   I've been married for about a year, and my wife only wants to have sex about once a week (if that). She has had minimal interest in sex since we first started seeing each other about three years ago. She has said she's just not that interested ...

A.   27 April 2012: I smell hormones here. She should go to her gynacologist and have a check up.... (read in full...)

Why do wives cheat on their husbands?

Q.   Why do wives cheat on their husbands? Can any of you who have cheated enlighten me? What are the reasons you cheated? Was there anything your husband could have done that would have made it so you would not have cheated? Thanks...

A.   20 April 2012: I'm not a cheater but most cheaters I've heard be honest about their straying say that their wife or husband just wasn't there for them anymore. They felt unappreciated, not listened to, unattractive and as if they weren't there. This made them ... (read in full...)

How do I form a relationship with my girlfriend's overbearing, over protective father when he wants nothing to do with me?

Q.   Hey Everyone, I recently started going out with a girl I really like. For the first time I feel like being a nice guy has paid off as she really seems perfect in every way. However, the only thing wrong is that she has an extremely overbe...

A.   20 April 2012: I'm a parent so I understand the need in this man to protect his children. He is going a bit over the top but unfortunately there's not a lot you can do. What I suggest is just to keep being there, be respectful to him, obey his rules, treat his ... (read in full...)

Has my boss noticed that I'm attracted to him and repulsed by me?

Q.   I'm married (unhappily) and have been working in a new place for about 4 months now. My boss is also married and is the same age as me. Things between us were going great. In terms of work he defends me to others, favours me, buys me little work ...

A.   20 April 2012: I think he's also attracted to you and is scared. He loves his wife and wants to be married to her but finds you mysterious and intriguing and would like to be with you and it frightens him.... (read in full...)

What to do after been treated like this by this player?

Q.   Ironically I've always tried to avoid these type of losers but I ended up falling for one who made his work rather well in making me fall in love with him. He has now discarded me for another one and he has even told in my face he never liked me but ...

A.   20 April 2012: Simple you hold your head up high, put on some makeup and nice clothes and force yourself back out into the world. Don't let him bet you down.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend thinks I still have a thing for my ex

Q.   I am a 40-something woman dating a 40-something man for over a year. I have been divorced for 6 years and have done a little dating, but have only had one serious relationship before my current boyfriend. I met my ex husband just after high school ...

A.   20 April 2012: Firstly I think your ex set out to deliberately hurt you by telling you that he didn't want you and to me that shows that he has some feelings for you still. I'm not saying he's in love with you or anything but if he truly saw the relationship as ... (read in full...)

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