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*er_zyniker

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I just like to help people with their problems since everyone on this site was so willing to help me with things that I could have never told anyone else.

1234Next > [4 pages, 127 answers]

Should I tell my boyfriend that I'm a lesbian and get this over with?

Q.   Here goes. I've been abnormal from the get-go, okay? All of my friends would blabber on and on about the floppy-haired fellow down the hall while my thoughts gravitated towards the lunch menu. I never seek out any boys myself, but I'll be damned if ...

A.   23 February 2014: Well I guess the first thing to do is to break it off with your current boyfriend. Even if you are straight, it's clear that it won't work out and this relationship will inevitably end anyway. You aren't interested in him, so you're really just ... (read in full...)

Love is just something I really want to have, but it seems that it works out for everyone else except me.

Q.   I am turning 21 and I have never kissed a girl. I think about this all the time, and it makes me really uncomfortable. I am literally the only one among my friends/people my age I've met, and I feel isolated. People tell me I'm a great guy and girls ...

A.   18 July 2013: To be honest, I think you've let this get too far under your skin. You're trying too hard and focusing on the disappointments, which is making you try harder. As cliche as it sounds, just be yourself. You've been turned down twice. It's not a big ... (read in full...)

I'm willing to give them a deposit on a home, but I want them to make some contribution too

Q.   Following a divorce over 20 years ago I haven't lived with children who are now both in their mid twenties. Over that time I have maintained a good relationship with them and have always seen and spoken to them regularly. I am now in the position...

A.   18 July 2013: If they're not willing to contribute anything they don't deserve your contribution. It's okay to help them, but if the house is for them, it should be their expense and not yours. ... (read in full...)

A new potential step parent vs a teenager

Q.   I need constructive advise about a situation that is bothering me. Im widowed 5 years now and have 3 kids (14, 11 and 10), I finally met the most amazing man and he proposed to me recently. A background on the guy, he is the type of guy that is a go ...

A.   18 July 2013: Well you have to keep in mind that this happened fast, and not just for you. I would say that getting engaged after 5 months was too fast. Not only would you not know each other well enough to get married(in my opinion), your daughter knows even ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my family member about my interatial relationship?

Q.   I am 18 years old and I live with my grandmother who doesn't approve of mixed race dating. I am Caucasian and my boyfriend is Dominican. We have been dating for 6 months and he treats me very good. I have not told my grandmother about him because of ...

A.   6 May 2013: Keeping him a secret isn't doing your relationship with your boyfriend or your grandma any favors. If things are going so well, you'll have to tell your grandma at some point. If she has such a big problem with it, then it really is her problem. The ... (read in full...)

Should I love him even if I know him only in Facebook and we're not seen each other yet personally?

Q.   Hi friends, I am 17 now, boy. I just want to share my story and ask for help. Last year I met this guy(but only through Facebook). He was so far from where I am living right now but we are on the same country. When I saw his pictures I felt ...

A.   5 May 2013: Forget about him. The age difference is too big right now. ... (read in full...)

I'm gay, but keeping it a secret! Some people suspect and whisper behind my back, and now I'm wondering about my close male friend! Advice?

Q.   I've been through a lot. Since primary school I've been bullied by my cousin for being shy and a little overweight. At 13, I decided to move school, I continued to be shy because I didn't have any confidence. After a while I started to get bullied ...

A.   5 May 2013: If you're not ready for anyone to know, then keep it as your secret. Don't come out until you're ready. If you feel comfortable telling this guy that you're gay, then go for it, but don't tell him that you're interested. If you're ready, just tell ... (read in full...)

Should I love him even if I know him only in Facebook and we're not seen each other yet personally?

Q.   Hi friends, I am 17 now, boy. I just want to share my story and ask for help. Last year I met this guy(but only through Facebook). He was so far from where I am living right now but we are on the same country. When I saw his pictures I felt ...

A.   5 May 2013: You seem like someone that leads with your heart, which isn't a bad thing, but I think the best thing to do is try to analyze the situation without taking your feelings into account. What is the most logical thing to do? Most people your age don't ... (read in full...)

I dumped the good guy for the bad guy, now I want the good guy back!

Q.   Hello, what am writing about is, I was seeing some one about a year ago, he was a prince charming kinda guy, treated me great, about 3 months, my ex was in jail, the one who phy. abuse me, beat me, choke me, just a bad guy, but I was in love with ...

A.   5 May 2013: There is no way of knowing if he'll take you back if you don't try. When you do, try to be a apologetic as possible, but don't say anything you don't mean. I guess my first move would be to call him and tell him you made a huge mistake leaving him ... (read in full...)

If I tell anyone I'm gay...I'm dead....literally!

Q.   Hi, I could really use some help advice. I'm 22 and where I live being gay is a no-no, but I fear that I might be gay or at least bi, but I'm not very sure I dunno what to label myself as I'm so confused. Honestly I don't want to be either. Ever...

A.   9 September 2011: Right now your biggest problem is that you are trying to fight who and what you are. I know that being gay isn't easy, but this isn't something that you can control. You are only hurting yourself by fighting it. This isn't your fault. There is noth... (read in full...)

Is he to young?

Q.   I'm a 22 year old female and I like a guy who's 19 he likes me too. Is 19 too young?...

A.   30 July 2011: That's not to young. I think 3 years is an appropriate again gap.... (read in full...)

I am finding it so difficult to move on....do I stand a chance?

Q.   I'm extremely depressed right now. To introduce myself, i'm a 17-year old gay man who has been in love with my ex-best friend till now. I have liked a number of guys in my life before, and none had worked out (They either found out and started ...

A.   30 July 2011: As far as this guy goes, I wouldn't try to get him back and I wouldn't talk to him for a while. About 2 years ago I had a friend that I love and when he found out he wouldn't come anywhere near me. I would call him and try to get together with him ... (read in full...)

How can I stop worrying about ending up alone for the rest of my life??

Q.   when i split with my boyfriend 4 months ago i found it so hard, we was only together for a year but i love him so much. when i found out he cheated it broke my heart, i cryed for 2 months and wouldnt go nowere but mop round. i am much better now ...

A.   30 July 2011: I would take some time away from dating for a while until you feel that you are ready again. I had a friend that I love and when he found out he wouldn't come anywhere near mean. He was someone that I felt I could trust and he in a way betrayed me, ... (read in full...)

I am planning to tell him my bisexuality but not my feelings

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am 21 years old and studying engineering as an International Student in a German university. I am about to finish my studies (final semester) and my final exams are about to start. But because of this problem I will explain, I even cou...

A.   24 June 2011: I would tell him that you are bisexual, but don't tell him about your feelings. If he is bisexual or gay then he will probably tell you eventually. I wouldn't expect him to tell you the same day that you tell him that you are bisexual, but if he is ... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   14 March 2011: Well last week I got together with the group that we hung out with during high school and I invited him just to be polite and I didn't think that he would even respond or show up. To my surprise he came, but most of the group couldn't so it was just ... (read in full...)

I'm gay and falling for my straight best friend!

Q.   My name is Phillip and I am gay. This whole situation is going to get a little complex so bare with me. In November 2009 I told my friend Cory that I love him and since then he has avoided coming anywhere near me. I wasn't hurt because he was ...

A.   23 February 2011: The thing is that I already know that Manny is straight. If he was gay then he probably would have told me because he would know that he has someone to talk to that would understand his position and would keep his secret. He also changed his ... (read in full...)

I'm gay and falling for my straight best friend!

Q.   My name is Phillip and I am gay. This whole situation is going to get a little complex so bare with me. In November 2009 I told my friend Cory that I love him and since then he has avoided coming anywhere near me. I wasn't hurt because he was ...

A.   23 February 2011: As far as coming out, I am telling some relatives, but I'm waiting to tell my parents and brother last. My dad thinks that homosexuals are the scum of the earth, my mom doesn't have to spine to stand up to him if he disowns me, and my brother ... (read in full...)

Terrified to come out of the closet!

Q.   im gay i've known since just a bit after starting puberty. I probably would say it was in high school i knew i was gay, well im just a bit scared to come out because im the only one in my family which is gay and i see that as alot of pressure i just ...

A.   10 January 2011: Well one day you will have to tell them. I know that it's frightening. I'm gay and I'm not out to my family either and there is nothing that scares me more than the thought of them finding out. You don't have to worry about embarrassing your dad ... (read in full...)

I am only really attracted to guys, but I know I want to get married and have children! What should I do?

Q.   Hi, My problem is a bit convoluted, and I'm so conflicted over it that I just had to 'talk' to someone, but not anyone I knew. So I've known for some years now that I might like guys (I'm a guy) and the usual things that happen when one does...

A.   8 January 2011: Listen to Cerberus Raphael. He is right. I have seen several of his posts and he usually gives good advice. I am in the same boat as you. I want to have children that are my own. It will cost some money, but it is possible. If you don't have the ... (read in full...)

Coming out is difficult?

Q.   I'm gay. I've known I was gay or as long as I can remember. However, I'm afraid to come out. I'm a Junior in High School, and I know i'm not ready. But I find that coming out will be especially hard for me as my brother is also gay, and he is out. ...

A.   6 January 2011: I would tell your brother about this and see what he says. He's been through this and can help you. I would also say that you should not come out until you are ready. I did that and I've become bitter and resentful because of it.... (read in full...)

Should I stay and live a comfortable life, or move abroad where I might be lonely?

Q.   Hi, I've been having some trouble with my life in the past few months, really big issues, but I just got offered this amazing opportunity which means I don't need to deal with those problems anymore. I've been told I can go to an international sc...

A.   5 January 2011: I guess what you have to ask yourself is what do you want more. Do you want to go to Hong Kong or stay at home. If you go to Hong Kong I'm sure you'll make friends. There will be plenty of people at this new school. I don't believe that there won't ... (read in full...)

Expensive love!

Q.   dear cupid, i would like to ask, is right to spend alot of money in a relationship to impress your girlfriend....

A.   4 January 2011: Well i personally don't really see the point in that. If she is worth something I doubt that she would care about your money. All she should care about is what sort of person you are because if she marries you some day I doubt you want to reason to ... (read in full...)

Should I make one last attempt to get things right between us?

Q.   Hi, Everyone. Sorry this is so long, but if you would take the time to read it and offer me your advice I would greatly appreciate it. I'd like to disclose from using real names so ill just call myself RJ and the love interest will be JF. I supp...

A.   4 January 2011: I had a friend and that I loved and since he found out that I did he hasn't come anywhere near me. I tried to reconnect, but in the end it was pointless. I think this is the case with you and the one guy. You can try to reconnect, but I think that ... (read in full...)

I am a closeted male. How can I deal with my crush?

Q.   Hello Everyone! Thank-you for taking your time to read this. I am a closeted male who feels that he has issues when it comes to liking someone. I notice that when I like someone I fall extremely quickly. Right now I have a crush on someone who I ha...

A.   2 January 2011: Well I would find someone, a friend that you can tell that you are gay. You don't have to come out of the closet, but telling someone will do you wonders. Find someone that you trust and know can keep a secret, but won't judge you for being gay. ... (read in full...)

He doesn't know I'm gay and neither am I clear about his orientation. Help!

Q.   Right now, I'm typing this with a miserable and lonely heart and I really need help and advice. So basically there's this guy which I like and I can't stop thinking about. I've known this guy for about a year and we're friends. He doesn't know I'm...

A.   23 December 2010: I would tell him that you are gay, but not that you like him. I find that when I tell people that I am gay that tend to tell me their secrets because they feel like they can trust me. If he is gay then he probably feels trapped and needs someone to ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my mom I'm pregnant?

Q.   i am 14 years old and 4 weeks pregnant. the father is 19. no one knows should i tell my mom since it was consensual? what about the dad? i have only seen him once that night. should i tell him? would he care?...

A.   23 December 2010: You need to tell your mom. It will become obvious within a few months and you need to see a doctor to see if the pregnancy is going okay or not. I think that you should tell the dad since he deserves to know. It doesn't matter whether you've seen ... (read in full...)

Shouldn't I be the one she runs to when she's feeling down?

Q.   So I'm a bit new to this, but i thought i'd get some opinions. Me and my girlfriend have been together for about a month or so now, and the problem lies with her two guy best friends. She's known them about a year or so. Feels like she talks t...

A.   22 December 2010: She is either just telling you what she thinks you want to hear, or she thinks that you are number 1 in her mind, but in reality you might not be. But my guess is the reason that she goes to her guy friends is that she has known them longer and just ... (read in full...)

Is it a good idea for me to tell him about my feelings?

Q.   I am a senior in high school; I just transferred to a new school for their fine arts program. I recently came out as pansexual to most of my friends at school. Through some friends, I met a very cute guy. We have gotten to know each other very wel...

A.   21 December 2010: I would tell him how you are feeling and why you have been acting differently. I would tell him how you feel about him, but also tell him that if he isn't interested in you in that way that you understand and that you won't pursue this any further. ... (read in full...)

He had a hard time from everyone in school when they found out I like him, what should I say to him to apologise?

Q.   i am at school and am gay, i never noticed this guy really before even though i have been at school with him for over 10 years, and then one day i was sat by him in class and suddenley realised i like him. it started off me just being interested and ...

A.   2 December 2010: The truth is you have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong. But if you are worried about things being awkward between you two then don't bring it up. That will only make things more awkward. I know that you feel bad about what happened, ... (read in full...)

Is he worth pursuing???

Q.   Ahhhhh! Hey guys, well ill dive into it, i told one off my friends who is/was bi-curious that i was gay and that i had feelings for him. It was fine last week everything was A-OKay! I said to him, Erm well i think your really cute and your really ...

A.   30 November 2010: I would say that he isn't worth pursuing. I think when he said those things about you he may have said them because he felt awkward and didn't know what to say. He obviously isn't interested in you so I think it would be best just to drop it. ... (read in full...)

Uh, just ask me out already!

Q.   Okay, I've liked this guy for months now, and I'm positive he likes me back. We have a few classes together and the same extra curriculars, and we're pretty good friends. Here's why I think he likes me: I always seem to catch him staring at me. He ...

A.   30 November 2010: He's just unsure of himself. He doesn't know if you are interested and I think he is just confused as to what to do. He may also be afraid of being turned down. When he is with a group of friends he probably acts like there is nothing between you ... (read in full...)

I don't want to be, but I think I'm gay

Q.   I am 15 and i think i am gay. I really dont want to be but i think i am. Everytime i think of boys my age i get aroused. But I have feelings for girls but i Never get aroused. It doesnt make sense. So am i gay bi or straight If you read this please ...

A.   28 November 2010: I was sort of in the same situation. I turned out to be gay and I still haven't told my family because they hate gays. If you are gay or bisexual you will have to tell your mother eventually. I personally am waiting for when i graduate from college ... (read in full...)

I'm afraid if I act on my emotions I will lose him completely

Q.   I'm a 16yo boy who is bisexual and seriously in love with a friend. The thing is i dont know what to do, i want to act on my emotions but am afraid that if i do i will lose him completely. We're so alike which leads me to think he might not be str...

A.   20 November 2010: If he doesn't know that you are bisexual tell him and see how he reacts. If he is gay or bisexual he will probably tell you because he would need someone to confide in. He would feel safe telling you that. If he doesn't tell you that he is gay or ... (read in full...)

When it's good, it's very very good, but when it's bad, we're toxic.

Q.   I feel that my relationship of just over a year is coming to an end. There have been a few occasions where I have considered ending the relationship because of the way I am treated, but then find myself running back to make things better even when...

A.   15 November 2010: I know how that feels. It's not the same thing but I loved one of my friends and he avoided me because of that. I kept trying to make it work out with just being friends with him, but he still wouldn't come anywhere near me. I tryed to almost a ... (read in full...)

Feeling insecure because my partner gets so many compliments

Q.   Ok, here’s the problem - hope some people feel they can offer a little insight: First, to avoid confusion, I’m gay. I’m in a relationship, which appears to be showing signs of being serious. My boyfriend and I have an age gap - I am 33 and he...

A.   15 November 2010: He is with you because as he said he loves you. I likes who you are. He doesn't care about looks. I it sounds like he just cares about what kind of person you are and not what you do and don't have. If all he cared about was what you look like, what ... (read in full...)

Relationship advice for gay 14 year olds.

Q.   Hello, I am a gay 14 year old boy who has NO idea how to get a boyfriend. I recently moved and I know no one at all. I know it sounds a little inconsistent, but I really want a boyfriend. Are online relationships a bad idea? Thanks for you advice....

A.   15 November 2010: Online relationships are a bad idea at your age. I know that you want a boyfriend right now. I know how that feels. You have to be patient. Wait until you find someone that you really like and then see if it can work. However, when that happens, ... (read in full...)

Ghostly goings on...

Q.   I'm sorry, but this is going to be a long one, but this is something that I'm really confused about and most of you that read this probably will either have no idea what to say or just think I'm crazy. Well I sense ghosts, I was able to repel them, ...

A.   23 October 2010: Well a good amount of the time I will be able to tell when someone is posing as a clairvoyant. I can sense when someone has abilities along the same lines as me. I can't always tell though. I find that it is easier to tell when if someone has these ... (read in full...)

Ghostly goings on...

Q.   I'm sorry, but this is going to be a long one, but this is something that I'm really confused about and most of you that read this probably will either have no idea what to say or just think I'm crazy. Well I sense ghosts, I was able to repel them, ...

A.   21 October 2010: Does anyone have any suggestions for books to read on this subject? I guess another reason that I feel like I need to know a lot about this is that these sort of abilities seem to run in the family. My older sister and younger sister have similar ... (read in full...)

Ghostly goings on...

Q.   I'm sorry, but this is going to be a long one, but this is something that I'm really confused about and most of you that read this probably will either have no idea what to say or just think I'm crazy. Well I sense ghosts, I was able to repel them, ...

A.   20 October 2010: This is to the most recent anonymous advisor. I see where you are coming from, I just have a couple problems with what you said, but they are just subtleties for the most part. I never play around with this sort of thing. I don't take anything more ... (read in full...)

How can I turn my straight friend bi?

Q.   Im bi and I have a friend who is straight but gives me sum gayish hints of bi-curiousness and i want to turn him bi...or just want to have sex/play around with him im a new friend of his ive known him for about a month and a half now and we hang ...

A.   18 October 2010: He's straight and you have to accept that just like he accepts that you're bi. You can't change him and if you could, would you really want to change him just because that's what you want?... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   21 August 2010: Alright I have another problem with this guy. He is still avoiding me. I don't love him anymore which is to be expected. I was going to stop loving him at some point, but that isn't the problem. Looking back at everything that has happened between ... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   13 July 2010: Well at least he's talking to me now so thing look like they're getting better. I also don't have to tell my family that I'm depressed or have sleep insomnia because in the last few weeks I just started to feel better. I don't know why, but I really ... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   30 May 2010: I know how my responses sound. I'm going to get help, but the seeing ghosts, the early signs of alcoholism, the sleep ansomnia, the clinical depression, and the situation with my friend are all link, some in obvious way and others not so obvious. ... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   27 May 2010: I response to if I have ever considered moving out the answer is no. I'm off to college next year, but I'll be going to a college close to home so I can save money, however I will have to switch schools after two years since this college doesn't ... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   26 May 2010: I don't need medication. I need a psychologist. Also dealing with the depression won't solve the problem with the my abilities like seeing ghosts being dulled. The situation between me and my friend, if I can even call him that anymore, is ... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   26 May 2010: My parents would force me to tell them what the problem is before they spend money on a doctor. Besides there are only two people that can solve to problem and that is me and my friend. The problem is far to complicated to be explained. I think that ... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   25 May 2010: I would wait, but there are other issues that this problem between me and him is causing. There is one in particular that this is causing. The fact is that I see, hear, but mostly i sense ghosts. I can also repel them. I have premonition and ... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   5 May 2010: Well he was a no show, not that I'm suprised. What made me so angry with him in the first place is that for a while he was the only one that I trusted because I know that my family will disown me when I find out and I just couldn't open up to my ... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   25 April 2010: Well we're meeting at another friends house next on friday so hopefully things go well.... (read in full...)

He's straight and I'm gay. How can I stop falling in love with him?

Q.   I'm gay and I love one of my best friends and I told them a couple of months ago. They made it clear that they aren't, but they said that they respected the fact that I'm gay. I feel awkward when ever I pass him in the halls at school and I tryed to ...

A.   20 April 2010: Ok. I need to clarify a few things. I told the friend that I love that I love them the same time I told them that I was gay. I know that I can't have the relationship that I was hoping to have when I told them. I know that this is hard for them, I'm ... (read in full...)

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