A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband is a workaholic. I don't mind, because I am a competitive equestrian and I have my own life. In the rare times when we see each other all he wants to do is have sex, but I have a hard time getting arroused, because I haven't been around him at all in days. We have a loving peaceful relationship, and it seems if we are together for a few days or more, I really start to want it, but that hardly ever happens. What do I do?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 Even if your husband is away from you for long periods of time, I think you can create sexual energy between the two of you. And I do think that is important for any healthy relationship:
1) Send him a flirty text message or email telling him how much you miss him.
2) Set up a special date night so that when he does return you have something to look forward to. This will create anticipation.
3) Make sure you have pictures of him around your house, so that you can recall what he means to you.
Finally, do not neglect your husband. Men have a tendency to drift out of relationships, especially if the sex is bad or more trouble than it is worth. You may also want to take stock of where you relationship is going. If you are both drifting apart, it is only a matter of time before one or both of you feel neglected.
You and your husband may have to come terms with his absenteeism and get behind why he has to work so far. Is it his profession? Do you require a lot of money to maintain your lifestyle (I know horses aren't cheap)? He may be working so hard because that is how he gets his ego stroked or its because the money demands are so high. Perhaps a change of lifestyle would make both of your remember what is truly important about life. No one ever has on their tombstone the saying: "I wish I had worked more in my life".
I think it is time for some self reflection and perhaps a talk to your husband about the state of your lives.
Best wishes
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 Reading books with great sex scenes in them is always a great way to get you in the mood also a bit of porn is always good.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 June 2012):
 LOTS and lots of foreplay. Maybe some sexy emails? Maybe some romantic overnights?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (15 June 2012):
 Fascinating career. There are people who feels distance make your heart grow fonder while others feel suffocated in a relationship when they see each other too much. I myself am like you, I need to be with the person a lot to feel a connection. There is too much seriousness about "getting in the mood." A lot of long time married couples have maintenance sex. They do it because it relieves stress, to show love, and to feel connected even when the passion is not like before. Your husband does not have time and energy to woo you with flowers and to cook for you. Can you still let him in? Would it hurt without too much lubrication? Can you watch porn and read erotic novels to turn yourself on? Eat more seafood? Can you make time during the weekends? Appreciate that your husband still wants sex and this is his way of showing love. Some men turn away from love and seek refuge in work. That is not your husband.
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