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*ruce lee agony aunt

*ruce lee

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i am not really qualified to help people but I like to give advice. if anyone wants to send me a private message, feel free. not many people know where to find the right advice when they are going through a hard emotional time. when we feel inside us that something is not right, we must reach out and talk about it with someone.

the yin and yang symbol represents my even-handed approach to situations. there is good and bad in everything. that's the way i look at it.

no-one in this world is going to back you up if you have a big argument with someone, whether you're in the right or the wrong. so being right is not always important. getting your own way is what counts.

and at the end of the day, nothing in life is certain. whether that's good or bad, it's just the way it is i guess. we live in the present moment. We do not dwell on past regrets and we don't worry about future concerns. a good marriage is a lot like a novel. it is fun.

but a bad marriage is like a prison. it is terrible. and i have been in prison many times before. adios

Latest articles:

Sensitive new age guy vs Cocky and Arrogant

This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

26 April 2010: Do women like men who are a bit cocky and arrogant? Or do they prefer snesitive new age guys? Some women, I've heard, like men who exude confidence. Is this a dumb question? Help me out here. I want to get women on side, so they stop pulling faces ...

123456789Next > [9 pages, 311 answers]

I masturbate about my colleague every night and I'm tired of it! Help!

Q.   I have a crush on someone, a coworker. He has a girlfriend. I know I have no chance in hell with him. However, no matter how hard I try, I can't get him out of my head. I've felt like this about him for the past year, and the feeling is as strong as ...

A.   18 September 2013: Self-pity is one of those things that has to be kept under control. It has to be within reason. Your self-pity is subtle but it is there. I wish you all the best. But until you start believing in yourself, you're not going to have a life. Rape is a... (read in full...)

Sore throat after oral sex?

Q.   Anyone ever experienced a sore throat after giving oral sex? Lately I've been waking up with an extremely dry throat and the last time my partner and I had engaged in this was about 2 days ago. Just curious. ...

A.   10 August 2013: Mike Douglas got throat cancer from doing this. But you will simply have to see a Doctor to get a better answer. I trust this information has been of assistance to you.... (read in full...)

I think I'm too short to get a date!

Q.   I'm terribly short for a man - 62 inches / 157 cm. I never thought of it as a problem until I was 18 and people started pointing out that women prefer tall men. I work out, so much so that recently I've lost about 20 lbs and I'm in the best ...

A.   24 June 2013: You must not worry about what you can't change. Just grit your teeth and hope for the best. Your luck might change within the next few years. Hasta luego.... (read in full...)

Did I get played? Was this my fault?

Q.   I was talking with a guy for about a month. We really clicked well and liked each other but I wanted to take things slowly and not really rush into anything. It was neither one of our faults, but we both went kind of distant from each other for a...

A.   16 June 2013: It's a tough and brutal world we live in. People do nasty things to others all the time. Not much you can do about it. It all depends on how you want to look at this...Is it a learning experience, or a horrible experience that you will never recover ... (read in full...)

I am almost completely flat-chested, my self-esteem is in the toilet and it's affecting my relationships.

Q.   Well, the title says it. I am basically the equivalent of a 32AA bra size, and even then my bras tend to slide around because nothing fills them up. I've always been a slim build and then recently put on some weight and I now weigh a comfortable 125 ...

A.   16 June 2013: I can understand you being sad about this. But there are two things you have to remember...First, there's nothing you can do about it. Second, there are bigger more depressing things to worry about in life than something like this. On the scheme of ... (read in full...)

Is it better to lose it with another virgin?

Q.   Hey everyone, hope everyone is doing well. I have a question/issue and I'll try to explain it the best I can. I'm a 19 year old virgin. It may be silly, but I take losing my virginity very seriously and want to lose it to the right person and...

A.   9 June 2013: I see what you mean. It is not good to regret making a big decision later on in life. I don't know what you should do. But remember that you will have to deal with all sorts of other big decisions later on in life. Talk to a Psychiatrist about it if ... (read in full...)

Heartbroken and desperate wanting to have a baby!

Q.   Please help. I've never been so desperate in all my life! My partner and I have been together for more than 10 years now. I love him with all my heart and he feels the same about me. I'm halfway through 30 now and more than anything, I yearn ...

A.   8 June 2013: You have a few options here. You can leave him and find some other guy who is interested in starting a family. Or you can just wait and see what happens with this guy (he might change his mind at some point). Or you can give him an ultimatum. (Not ... (read in full...)

How to reach a decision with my unplanned pregnancy?

Q.   i'm 26 and had planned to go back to study. I discovered I was pregnant a few months after getting laid off my job. Can things get any worse? My boyfriend wants to keep it but I'm not sure. I've been to counselling and it hasn't helped much. I'...

A.   8 June 2013: I agree with Chigirl's last answer. It is fully your decision and it has to be about what YOU think is best. I am also from Australia and I know what you are getting at when you say the media is always being nasty to women who delay their choice to ... (read in full...)

My mother doesn't accept me as I am and its really getting me down

Q.   Please give me some advice or help on this; In the past I have dated guys and girls, I believe in love has no gender, and as long as your happy why does it matter? unfortunately my mum does not think this. I have been in a relationship now for ...

A.   8 June 2013: I think your mum will never change. People who don't accept gays have old-fashioned beliefs and they don't change. That's just the way it is.... (read in full...)

Is it just time to walk away?

Q.   Right, i have a boyfriend who i've been with for 6 months and we argue constantly. he does mean everything to me and i dont know what i'd do without him. recently, we've been arguing more than usual. we're on the verge of splitting up but i don't ...

A.   8 June 2013: Just write him a letter or an email, and tell him what you are thinking. Say that you are thinking of walking away. That will get a reaction out of him. If he acts indifferent (like he doesn't really care), it might be time to walk away. It's ... (read in full...)

Why the different reactions from guys on different nights?

Q.   Question for men. Do you guys feel a certain vibe coming from women when they are welcoming and ready for some action? The reason why I am asking this because recently I became single again, and I go out a lot. Some nites guys one after another ...

A.   2 June 2013: Not many things in life make sense. Love is just another one of those things. Sometimes people of the opposite sex will want to talk to you and be "friendly", and sometimes they won't. It often just depends if someone is in a good mood or a bad mo... (read in full...)

My bridesmaid bought a shoe a size too big. I'm worried about how she's going to wear it for a couple of hours???

Q.   I'm getting married in May. I'm having a bit of an issue. I told my bridesmaids they could pick out whatever shoe they wanted. One of my bridesmaids bought a shoe that is a size too big. I know you can stuff a shoe to make it fit correctly. However ...

A.   16 April 2013: You should get her another pair of shoes. What's done is done. No-one should have to wear a shoe that is too big because it will be uncomfortable and she will not enjoy the wedding at all. That's my two cents worth. Adios... (read in full...)

Gave my GF herpes, She now wants nothing to do with me!

Q.   okay last October, i met a female photographer (39y.o) at a venue while i was out by myself supporting a friends band. I was married at the time and was at the venue to see my friends band and also take photo's of the band as i had begun a new ...

A.   16 April 2013:  if you have passed on an STD to someone, it depends on who it is. Some people will just accept that what's done is done. And some will be very disappointed. But what should you do about it now? Fake it. Just pretend that everything is ok... (read in full...)

I met this guy and I like him. Would meeting for coffee be a good idea?

Q.   Hi people! I met this guy on Friday night, he was really nice and we talked/had alot of drinks together. I ended up back at his house for a drink - note we were both drunk but i was sober enough for it not to go any further (i am not like that at ...

A.   14 April 2013: Yeah, sure. Sounds like a sensible way of meeting someone. Just make it clear to him that you don't go all the way on first dates. Always let people know where they stand. Adios... (read in full...)

My son isn't exactly discreet in his masturbation habits

Q.   My son (16) steals my unders and we talked but I have not talked or to my husband about him putting things in his hind end while he does this. That bothers me so should I worry? It's been a lot of house hold items I unfortunately have picked up to ...

A.   8 April 2013: This is disturbing. If he is grabbing hold of your underwear and using it in some way to masturbate, that means he is having fantasies about having it off with you. Do you realize that? This is the sickest thing I have ever read. Make him see a ... (read in full...)

How do I stop her advances, without embarrassing either of us?

Q.   Simple question. I work with this woman, she is about 20 years my senior and lately i have been wondering if she fancies me. She is very touchy feely with me and I am not the type to cause any trouble so i don't say anything except to a very...

A.   8 April 2013: I don't think you should hate her. She can't help being what she is. But if you want to stop all her advances, you will have to talk to the boss. Ask the boss if she can tell this woman to stop it. That way, you are not confronting her or causing ... (read in full...)

I feel like my boyfriend has double standards!

Q.   Today was Easter and my boyfriend left me alone. Though I am not religious at all, it's a holiday and we had agree to at least see each other (actually, he even got a bit sad when I said I'd spend the day with my family, instead of with him). He i...

A.   1 April 2013: Well, you might have to learn the most basic rule of life in order to deal with this...Do NOT worry about things beyond you're control. He is not going to change. So, you either put up with it, or leave him. I don't know what else to say. I hope ... (read in full...)

Is a 17 month relationship too early to be thinking about babies?

Q.   Hey everyone, So this basically is a question to ask your view on the situation I am in right now, I am a 23 year old woman and my partner of 17 months is a 26 year old man, the past few weeks we have discussed having a child, please do not think th...

A.   24 March 2013: well, i've already stated what i think about wanting kids (or NOT wanting them). but i think you should only start a family if you are at least 99% sure you want something like this. there are absolutely no guarantees that it will work out the way ... (read in full...)

My parents are getting nasty because they'll never have grandchildren

Q.   I've got a major problem with both my parents. They are acting like wankas. They think just because they brought me into the world and raised me, that I owe them something. Why do parents have this belief that they are "owed something"? My brothe...

A.   19 March 2013: Well, someone has asked why I don't want to have kids. I could give six or seven reasons. But the main one is that at the end of the day, life is depressing. That's just my opinion. I think life is sad. There are too many negative thoughts that go... (read in full...)

Will I ever meet the right man?

Q.   I have been single for a year now. My ex boyfriend of five years left me for someone else. Since the break up I have not dated anyone. I'm starting to feel their is no one out there for me. I've waited patiently for the right man to appear seems he ...

A.   18 March 2013: The issue is whether or not you want to have kids. A lot of guys do not want to start a family. You have to make it clear to men what you want, so they know how to treat you. I have waited years to meet the right woman but my situation is unique ... (read in full...)

My wife wants to have a child, I dont. What should we do?

Q.   I’m 31 year old man and I’m having a trouble in my marriage. My wife ( she's 32) wants a child, I don’t. We are married for 4 years. We discussed this subject many times before our marriage. I told her I never want to have children and asked whether ...

A.   23 February 2013: Sorry, but you should have seen this coming. All over the world, there are women who want to have a baby and will do anything to get one. I know this doesn't sound very eloquent the way this is written. My grammar and English is not that good. ... (read in full...)

Have things changed for the better, or am I just making it all up because I'm in love with him?

Q.   This is probably going to be long, but please stick through because I really need some advice. I've been seeing a guy since September, but I can't tell exactly what we are. I met him last summer at work and I instantly liked him. I'm usually ...

A.   17 January 2013: Well, I don't know how to break this to you but... Point one. He said he is more interested in his PhD than you. Point two. He sees you as "a bit of fun". Point three. He might have never told you that he loves you. (This does not include him ... (read in full...)

We work in the same building. She initiated the conversation. Could there be a chance that she's interested in me?

Q.   I work in quite a large organisation in a big office building. For the past 3 days I have walked from the car park into the building behind the same girl. This has been purely coincidental however I won't complain as she is very beautiful. Tod...

A.   22 December 2012: Probably just making conversation. Women are gold-diggers. They only go for good-looking guys with lots of money. And they treat the rest of us good guys know what. Sorry. She's just being friendly. Just my opinion.... (read in full...)

Too tight after a break from sex.. help!

Q.   I've been sexually active for almost 5 years with no problem. However recently my boyfriend went away for 6/7 weeks and he came back for a weekend to visit and I found it really hard to have sex as I was just too tight and it really hurt! It hurt ...

A.   31 July 2012: Ah, I think you should see a Doctor because I have not heard of something like this happening before.... (read in full...)

My Marriage is slowly disintegrating;

Q.   I separated from husband 4months ago. We're married for 5months. I found an excuse to get out since i felt emotionally abused. He made every discussion and living very difficult and we just never saw eye to eye,(finances, household chores, living ...

A.   22 July 2012: You know,the good news is you got out of the marriage quickly. He might never see your point of view. In this world, not many people care what happens to others. We live in a world where righteousness is not rewarded. A world where the bad people ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend WANTS to perform oral on me. However, I DON'T want it!

Q.   Hi. As the title suggests, my girlfriend does want to perform oral sex on me. She keeps asking, every, single, time that I'm alone with her. I tell her, "No. I'm not ready for that. I am, however, ready for intercourse.", and she tells me she doe...

A.   21 July 2012: I guess it's about what you think is right at the time. And what you're willing to live with.... (read in full...)

We're going as friends but I'd like to go as a date

Q.   I've gotten closer to this guy over the last few months. He asked me to go to the ball with him but before that I said "Can two people go to the ball as just friends?" and he says "Oh. Well that's even better." ??? I have once before dated a g...

A.   17 June 2012: That's a good question. It sounds like he likes you a lot. But whether or not he loves you is another issue. I don't know what advice to give here. Unfortunately, the only way to find out is to take the first step and talk to him about it.... (read in full...)

How do I become more approachable?

Q.   Hey everyone, I am 23 years old,this may sound wierd to many of u but I still have never had a real boyfriend.. I have kissed two men but it was nothing,my first kiss was when I was 17 he was a celebrity and I used to watch his shows so we got ...

A.   16 June 2012: Who cares? It's your life. You do what you want to do, and I'll do what I want to do. But seriously, you should go to the beach and work out. Go for long swims and get fit and strong and guys will notice you. I don't know. No-one ever list... (read in full...)

I feel so disrespected by my husbands family.

Q.   I feel so disrespected by my husbands family. We went on a family vacation with them to the beach and all his mom did was point out women for my husband to look at right in front of my face. She would say, "Oh, look at her bathing suit. She's ...

A.   15 May 2012: I can see why you're agitated. Maybe you should tell your husband what you think and see how he reacts. If he is not on your side, then you've got a problem. If he is on your side, then ask him if you can leave the area and live somewhere else. ... (read in full...)

I told my girlfriend I am gay and don't know how to comfort her

Q.   I just told my girlfriend that I am gay. It pretty much killed her and I feel like shit. I know I had to do it and it was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I stay with her to comfort her but I don't really know how or what to say. I keep ...

A.   10 May 2012: That doesn't make sense. You wouldn't have a girlfriend in the first place if you were gay. So as Pauline Hansen would say...please explain.... (read in full...)

She won't go out with me because her friend likes me. I'm fed up of considering other people's thoughts!

Q.   I have finally met another girl I really like after I had a bad experience 6 months ago. We get on really well but when I asked her on a date recently she replied. "I would love to however, one of my friends really likes you. I knew this before...

A.   10 May 2012: This is a tough one. Is it possible she just doesn't want to go out with you, and she told a white lie? Even if what she is saying is true, you have to accept it for what it is...a rejection. Let it go.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesnt buy me presents and ignores important occasions

Q.   Ok, in terms of problems this maybe isnt huge but it is playing on my mind a bit. i have been with my boyfreind for 2 years now...and he just doesnt treat me with the same care and attention he used to. Yesterday was my 23rd birthday....and i got ...

A.   10 May 2012: In general people these days don't care much about one another. It's just the way it is. I don't know what else to say. Even my cousins, Aunty, and Uncle, have got no time for me. They won't even give me the gift of their time. Won't even talk to ... (read in full...)

What do you think about a guy who's ever even kissed a girl?

Q.   hello i'm 21 years old and i never been in relationship, never had sex or even kissed a girl. some girls told me i'm handsome and cute and i really thnik so, but when is time to talk wuth them and ask them out ,i feel weakness from inside. and i ne...

A.   10 May 2012: You are in a bad position in life at the moment. You might need to take some risks and get hurt sometimes. You will get rejected. You will get hurt. But you've got to do it. Otherwise, you'll be much older in the same situation, except feeling even ... (read in full...)

Fiance blames me and calls me dumb

Q.   Dear Cupid, My partner and I have been together for 6 years and recently, we are engaged and going to get married soon. However, things been up and down and I've been feeling really confused and depressed and started to doubt. I'm afraid, worried ...

A.   10 May 2012: This guy obviously thinks it's okay to insult you. And you are too scared to stand up to him. That's the truth. You have to accept it for what it is and find someone else. He will ruin your life. You will have two or three kids and he will still ... (read in full...)

He gets his kicks from sex but I don't get mine! How can I get him to pay more attention to my needs?

Q.   Hi everyone. I have been posted a question but I found no response. I am trying to know that what is missing in our love relation. My hubby is very hot for sex. He likes sex, and lots of it. I found him sexualy hot but not emotionaly.he cares ...

A.   9 May 2012: You should consider these four options. First, leave him. Because maybe he doesn't care about you. Second, try to have a talk to him about it (if he'll listen). Three, fake it. Four, just kind of accept it for what it is. You can't change other ... (read in full...)

How can I help my friend? She's not treated right at home or by her boyfriend

Q.   My friend is lately having a lot of troubles in her life, and I feel like she might not be able to handle them on her own. Her parents verbally and physically abuse her. Her mom calls her fat (which she's not), and a whore, and has said that sh...

A.   26 March 2012: Errr...How old is your friend? Maybe she can do some weight-training and build up some muscle so she'll be able to fight. Tell her to go to a gym. This is a bad situation because sometimes kids are treated with no respect. I don't know if there is ... (read in full...)

I don't care about anything, is this normal?

Q.   It it okay to have not care about anything? Its like i've lost interest in things over the years. It all started when I got rejected by my fist Love and ever since then I have been on a downward spiral with my inner self. At first I started to hate ...

A.   6 March 2012: Yes, it's normal. A lot of people feel like this these days. It doesn't mean it's right to feel this way but it is normal. The best thing you can do is talk to your local Psychiatric Ward staff. Ask them what they think. They might turn out to be ... (read in full...)

Starving for sex while husband jeks off in the next room!

Q.   My husband sneaks off to masturbate. One morning I woke up and wanted a cup of coffee while I watched whatever show I had recorded the previous night. My husband had left about an hour before, while i was still asleep. I made my coffee, and in m...

A.   5 March 2012: This is not good. Either your husband is going through a bad time and is not that interested in you at the moment, or he is just taking you for granted. Either way, this is a bad situation. You might have to talk to a friend you can trust about th... (read in full...)

Dry humping but not yet kissed!

Q.   There's a guy who I fancy like hell, he's very sweet and kind, but we've only known each other for about 2 weeks. I've slept over at his house 3 times now, the first night we had company but he showed the first indications of being interested in me ...

A.   4 March 2012: What's dry humping?... (read in full...)

What keeps people in marriages when they are no longer in love?

Q.   When you have been married to your husband for 35 years and are no longer IN LOVE with him but Love him as a person, is it possible to continue to stay married? What is it that actually makes a person stay in a marriage where you are NOT IN LOVE ...

A.   20 February 2012: That's a good question. Maybe you should tell him what you think. Why would you want to hold something like that in? That's a terrible thing to carry inside. Get it out in the open and see what he reckons. He'll give you a good answer.... (read in full...)

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