A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ironically I've always tried to avoid these type of losers but I ended up falling for one who made his work rather well in making me fall in love with him. He has now discarded me for another one and he has even told in my face he never liked me but wanted the fun and that now he has the one he wanted. He told me he has found a white green eyed girl that's the way he likes them (I'm a bit dark as so is he).I told him to stayed with the doggy bone girl (she's skinny, sorry she went on the way) and that I was glad he finally took off the mask and showed how shallow he really is. He replied "Do not offend, take care". I told him he was a loser who's after pretty chicks to ruin them and that he was so shallow and a jerk. He didn't replied no more.I feel terrible b/c its awful to be played like this and by the way he did things. He even took money from me and took advantage and I was such a fool of falling, I guess there's always a first time and for me the last one. I don't want to date anymore guys and I don't even feel like going out my self esteem is destroyed by him and I don't feel like anyone will want me or will trust someone again.Please give me advice as to what to do in order to regain my life all over again?
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (21 April 2012):
 As much as your brain tells you, 'There is nobody out there' or 'This never happens to thin pretty white girls' or 'My self esteem is destroyed'...these statements are NOT TRUE!!
I have learned over many years that the only way to 'get more' is to EXPECT MORE. You have to set your standards a little higher and in doing so you have to improve yourself. I am not just talking about looks, but how you view yourself and how you take care of yourself.
YOU are the deal...YOU are the package that hopefully is going to attract a nice kind caring loving man...so you have to be the best you can be in order to attract someone similar.
If you waste time on losers, dead beats and players just because you are grateful in some way for attention, then believe me, you are going to get hurt.
I would totally forget this guy and rack it up to 'what you seriously want to avoid in the future' Guys like him play at the bottom end of the feeding tank and even those skinny white girls are either going to get played or end up dumping him.
I have been where you are and negativity reigned in my mind, over and over I told myself I wasn't good enough...but eventually I found a good guy. Now when I look back on the few losers I fell for, I wonder what I ever saw in them.
Don't get mad...get proactive and busy. Work on yourself, mind, body and soul (this doesn't have to cost a packet).
Eat well, drink lots of water, exercise, expand your mind by reading and exploring new interests (I recently learned about star constellations that I could see above my home just by looking on the internet) anything that will make you a bit more interesting or intriguing...then put yourself back out there and see who you meet that you think you really deserve.
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (21 April 2012):
 Moo's Mum advice is pretty much spot on.
Give yourself some time to get over the pain and hurt of being let down. You aren't the first person to be treated this way and you won't be the last. Unfortunately, men AND women do this to each other -- the motives are always different but the end result is the same: hurt feelings.
I suspect he is cutting you down so that you know it is over. Probably on some level, he does care for you, but he is making sure that you hate him enough that you won't bother him in his new relationship.
Hopefully you won't become bitter over this and realize there are decent men out there.
So take some time to get over the pain and treat yourself good. And finally, get yourself back out there. Mr. Right could be right around the corner.
Best wishes and my condolences.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (20 April 2012):
First. Be grateful you saw his true colors sooner than later. Yes - you fell for him but you are free now.
Consider it a valuable life lesson and just a bump in the road. I know it's hard to trust but maybe the next one will be easier to spot. You will also know easier when someone is treating hour right.
For now give yourself some time of no dating. Time to heal. Make sure you block his number and emails so you don't get tempted to contact him again and he can't contact you.
And keep this thought in mind: he will get what is coming to him. Karma if you believe in it - or just a string of empty relationships. He may not realize it right away but one day when he's older and alone - he'll regret losing a quality woman like you. But by then you won't. Are be abuse you will be with a man who treats you right.
Good luck and remember these first months are always the hardest. Xoxo
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 Simple you hold your head up high, put on some makeup and nice clothes and force yourself back out into the world. Don't let him bet you down.
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