A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I've known this guy since the start of term, and there was like this instant attraction between us. We were both really keen on getting to know each other, even though we were at a new college and there were loads of other people we didn't know. So there's always been this sorta electricity between us - not necessarily romantic or sexual or anything. Anyway, of course now I'm really into him - but I'm not about to let on, because he's in a long-term (and happy, as far as I know) relationship. And the most frustrating thing is, is that I think he kinda likes me back. We always hang around together, he's constantly poking/hugging/throwing stuff at me. And we often have these moments where we'll stare into each other's eyes, just gazing, and it'll last so long (like 10 seconds) that I get shy and look away. I never flirt back much because I'm useless at it, and he's got a girlfriend. His girlfriend isn't in our college. He is flirty with most girls, but much more with me, even though he's known some of them longer. Please don't write back saying LEAVE HIM ALONE, HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND etc. Because I don't want him to be a cheater either. It's just so frustrating. Is he just very confident in the knowledge that we can only ever be 'just friends'? Or is he looking for more?! Help!
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female
reader, Helhel +, writes (9 November 2007):
 I think that we might be twins or something lol,
Same thing happened to me today lol,
Cept it was in a classroom
I really enjoy it when he flirts with me and it always cheers me up when im with him.
I just put up that barrier of how far it goes.
I think you should talk to him about how you feel, just on msn or something. Try asking whether he likes you, and if he does then find out who he likes most.
I think lads are always confused about what they really want. Just bide your time, enjoy his company, and just one day he might decide to choose you.
But just like i said before. dont cling to him, look elsewhere as well.
message me if you want to talk
good luck
XxX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice both of you. I do keep trying to think about him as only a friend, but grr it's so hard! Like yesterday we were on a trip with the college and we sat together on the bus, and we fell asleep resting on each other. Then he put his head on my shoulder, and took it off again quickly saying "oops sorry" (so did that mean he saw it as inappropriate, or something?) and when I didn't react, he put his head back on my shoulder and started biting it. I just tried to ignore this because I am so confused. I keep trying to find some other guy to fancy, but this guy is always there flriting with me!
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A
female
reader, Helhel +, writes (7 November 2007):
I am in exactly the same situation, the only difference is that his gf actually goes to the same school as we both go to.
What i had to think about what different outcomes there could be.
I dont want him to cheat on his girlfriend because that means he is likely to cheat again. Ive talked this through with him and he thinks the same, so we arn't going to do that, to both of them. I suggest you do the same.
I think that cutting him off completly is a bad idea, cause it only gets you wanting him more.
I talk to my guy all the time on msn and we are always flirty towards each other, and he is really complimentory so it really cheers me up.
I think you can still keep that attraction to him but also start looking elsewhere. Dont leave him as the only option you have. If you attraction grows, you may both decide to persue the relationship.
Then you can go for it.
Just dont cling onto him, treat him as a really good friend and wait to see what the future holds and look out for other potenial bfs as well.
Hope this helps
XxX
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A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (7 November 2007):
 That is a question only he can answer.
You, however, have a moral and ethical choice to make. Lets say, for argument sake, he does like you and he would like to get to know you in another kinda way so he breaks up with his current gf. What would you do? You need to consider:
1. It is likely you will be a rebound relationship because he was in a long happy relationship that just ended.
2. His emotions will be altered up because of the break up and it is likely that he will be confused and not ready for a relationship.
3. You would have been contributing to ending a relationship and that is not a good thing to do.
On the other hand, he could be just flirty because he likes the attention and you are giving it to him. He might not want anything else as he is happy in his relationship.
As you can see this is a loose-loose situation for you. Either way the possibility of you getting hurt is way bigger than of everything working for the best Cinderella style. My advice.. be careful and if possible get a little space between the two of you. If its meant to be,whenever he finished his current relationship and is ready for a new one, you'll probably be around. Good luck!
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