I want to go out and I have family issues
Q. Recently I was scolded for not doing what my mother asked (she told me to, put the orange towel inside my room, so I ignored her and put it outside because I wanted it there.) Because of that I got told off and scolded. My older brother comes in...
A. 14 February 2015: I didn't say you lied about your age; I said the tone of it sounded like it was coming from a defiant 16 year old who wanted her own way all the time - most of us have been there at some point and for some of us, like you, it happens when you're a ... (read in full...)
I know I'm his bootycall. What should I do?
Q. Hey, I'm writing, because I would like to get some help. Any help would much appreciated. Well, there is this guy I've known since October, and everything was going quite well. I then developed feelings for him, and I thought that he liked me t...
A. 14 February 2015: Honey, 5 years older is not okay until you're 18. I'm 19 and I'd find it a little odd to date someone that much older because we are at different life stages.
If he tries anything with you, it's illegal. Believe me, I understand having a crush on... (read in full...)
I know I'm his bootycall. What should I do?
Q. Hey, I'm writing, because I would like to get some help. Any help would much appreciated. Well, there is this guy I've known since October, and everything was going quite well. I then developed feelings for him, and I thought that he liked me t...
A. 14 February 2015: "Booty Call" implies, well, calling over for "some booty" - I've never heard it used for anything but sex.
Like I said, he hasn't said he has feelings for you but, either way, I wouldn't advise sticking around waiting for someone who enjoys t... (read in full...)
In love with a very famous professional athlete
Q. I had a chance encounter with a world famous professional athlete last summer on social media. I began tweeting him cute silly things figuring he'd never notice me because he gets virtually thousands of tweets everyday, especially from women. Thin...
A. 14 February 2015: Assuming his account was verified? If not, it wasn't him. If it was, it was probably his PR/management team. Repeat to yourself, every time he pops into your head, "he's unattainable, the chances of it actually being him are like 5% and I have a ... (read in full...)
I know I'm his bootycall. What should I do?
Q. Hey, I'm writing, because I would like to get some help. Any help would much appreciated. Well, there is this guy I've known since October, and everything was going quite well. I then developed feelings for him, and I thought that he liked me t...
A. 14 February 2015: When I read the title and saw your age, I could have cried. Luckily, the term "booty call" was virtual and not sexual. Having said that, you wrote booty call and that term carries a lot of weight, since it means having sex when he feels like it - ... (read in full...)
How do guys really feel about stretch marks?
Q. I've been reading on this website for the past couple of months and I've noticed a lot of posts concerning stretch marks lately. It's got me thinking a lot. I've always been pretty confident with my body but I do have tons of stretch marks. I...
A. 14 February 2015: Honestly, what does it matter? There will always be guys who don't like/accept them, but they'd be hard pushed to find women without them at some point in their lives.
Your boyfriend says he doesn't mind them and, quite frankly, you should b... (read in full...)
Do I reach out to my abusive ex because his dad died?
Q. I dated a guy for over a year when I was 17 and he turned out to be fairly abusive (nothing physical but verbal abuse and manipulation as well as cheating). After I broke up with him, things went majorly downhill: he told people horrible lies about ...
A. 14 February 2015: You feel horrible because it's morality for anyone and you happened to know this person, even if you weren't close to them.
Don't reach out - leave it in the past. Also, you can't be over him if you said "I didnt think I could be the one to *reco... (read in full...)
I want to go out and I have family issues
Q. Recently I was scolded for not doing what my mother asked (she told me to, put the orange towel inside my room, so I ignored her and put it outside because I wanted it there.) Because of that I got told off and scolded. My older brother comes in...
A. 14 February 2015: I do have a similar situation to you, but you said not to say this because, quite frankly, you're full of attitude and want everything your way. You have a problem, you asked for advice, you'll have to take what you get - or we can't help you.
... (read in full...)
Should I keep sending this guy I just met a photo of me everyday?
Q. Hello I am a female and I really need help cause I feel lost. I met a guy one week ago. We spoke and he was very charming and funy. We had so much laughter the night we met. He asked me for my number and I gave it to him. It was Saturday the day I ...
A. 13 February 2015: Personally, I think that the photo-a-day is weird and that's how some people create fake accounts on things, but using pictures of real people who have lots of pictures available to steal - in this case, you're voluntarily giving them to him, ... (read in full...)
I let myself go and am not quite sure how to get myself back together?
Q. I just turned 21 and I've seriously let myself go. Basically I was abused and it got really bad when I was 17. The person is no longer able to hurt me and I've been to counselling but I sort of regressed into a frightened shell of a person and ...
A. 13 February 2015: My guess would be that the reason the OP only got 8 sessions was because that's all that the GP doctors over here offer and, even then, that's just the "talk it through, but I won't give any suggestions" type. To get private counselling is usually ... (read in full...)
What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 13 February 2015: You're dealing with girls, not women. Girls want the bad boys, women want reliable men.
Why would you need to be Mr Universe to attract women?... (read in full...)
Can some men be interested in just being nice and your friend?
Q. Can some men be interested in just being nice and your friend? I know a man from work and have became good friends with him over the past few months, he has also helped me out around the house. I have just moved into my first house myself, he helps ...
A. 13 February 2015: Men can want platonic friendships; I've had one of those friendships, but it was made null and void when he chose new girlfriend after new girlfriend, over our friendship, who all helped him screw up his life - unimportant; I digress :P Point bei... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says I should now plan Valentine's?
Q. I just got a new job, which is great but it does now mean I'll be working on the weekend. My boyfriend had asked me to keep Valentine's day free, I said I would, but I need this job and the money because of personal reasons. My boyfriend now sa...
A. 12 February 2015: Please re-read my response on your first post about it :) http://www.dearcupid.org/question/its-our-first-valentines-together-but-i-might.html This job is more important and you should still have an hour or two spare to spend with each other.... (read in full...)
Should we allow my mother in law to babysit our very young child while our m I l appears to be drinking alcohol to get drunk regularly?
Q. I think my mother in law drinks (commercial product/mouth wash) to get that drunk feeling instead of wine. My m.i.l. babysits my 6 month old baby, and she always had a drinking problem, she drinks wine everyday, until we asked her to stop because ...
A. 12 February 2015: You need a new babysitter.... (read in full...)
My step-mother seems to think what's mine is hers
Q. Hi I need some advice. Ive recently moved in with my dad, he has redecorated the small bedroom for me while he has been redecorating I have been sharing a room with mu little sister and all of my belongings haven't had a place and have been scattere...
A. 12 February 2015: Yeah, get a safe with a combo lock (as to not "lose"/lose the key), then put it out of sight, if possible.
Keep your room tidy, if you don't already, because it may be your room, but it's still their place.
Also, ask her if she wants to go shop... (read in full...)
Is online flirting cheating?
Q. I am in a relationship with a wonderful person. He is 10 years older than me and I love the fact that he is more experienced and worldly wise than I am. I met him on facebook and we hit it off immediately. We are both abroad away from our families ...
A. 12 February 2015: You can't change him so, if it hurts, you should leave him.... (read in full...)
I want to forgive my mother, I know she will never change and I don't want to!
Q. My mother is a workaholic. She always has been, my whole life. She's fond of saying how she went back to work the day after she and I came home from the hospital after I was born. She says she works so hard so that we can have a nice life but I ...
A. 12 February 2015: With a few minor changes, I could have written this - I'm not even joking.
She probably doesn't bother contacting you because she knows you'll do it. If you can, just don't bother any more. Try your best not to care whether she calls or not - ma... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so self conscious of my body in the bedroom?
Q. I was diagnosed with PCOS about a year ago after years of weird symptoms. I gain weight very easily, I have skin issues such as acne on certain areas of my body, hyper pigmentation and discoloration in certain areas... I get skin tags on my breasts, ...
A. 12 February 2015: Normal nude female bodies looking natural, not airbrushed, is a lifesaver online.
Also, semi-transparent (short) robes and/or corsets (not necessarily tight ones) that cover your stomach and back, but not .... well, the rest of you, may help :P... (read in full...)
I get a tingly feeling when I see a naked woman but nothing when I see a naked man. Am I gay?
Q. I really do not want to ask this question cos I am disgusted by it but it is the truth and has left me pondering if I have any interests in women. I get a tingly feeling down there when I see a females breast but am indifferent if i see a naked man. ...
A. 12 February 2015: If you have nothing against homosexuals why would you be "ashamed" and "disgusted" if you are gay/bisexual?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke my hymen but we did not have sex. Am I still a virgin?
Q. please i am a virgin but my boyfriend put his penis on the tip of my virginal. it did not hurt me but suddenly my hymen broken and bleed but we did not have sex. please am i a virgin?...
A. 12 February 2015: Anon is right; you can lie to yourself about what you are; if you're touching genitals with your mouth (tongue counts) or genitals, you can get STDs, so you could tell yourselves your both clean and don't need them, but you need to both see a doctor ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm always in the background when my boyfriend's son stays over
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. When his 8 year old son comes over he and his son sleep out in the living room. As of right now we only have a one bedroom place. His son gets to come over every other weekend.I feel bad but it ...
A. 12 February 2015: When you date a good father, their child comes first until they are no longer a child and/or are being outrageous, so it should be him and his son, then you - unless you find ways for it to be all three of you, like day trips, games, etc.
Yes, ... (read in full...)
2 years of crazy and we're only teenagers! what should I do?
Q. What should I do? Me and my boyfriend been together for 2 years now. At first, everything was fantastic. Like fairytales, lovey-Dovey for the first year. Second year, things changed. We became more busy, and I have a very busy life compared to his, ...
A. 11 February 2015: I have self-harmed and been suicidal - him using it as a manipulation tool is ridiculous and he needs help, but not from you; it's not safe for you to be around him, honestly :/
To say that you deserve(s) to be raped is horrific! He is a nasty, s... (read in full...)
Always be loving to him
Q. Never use sex as a weapon ladies no matter how tempting. Always kiss your man when you greet for instance when he comes home from work open the door and greet him with love, if you have children teach them to do the same. Make a big fuss, he will ...
A. 11 February 2015: Should he not do the same?... (read in full...)
Should I start dressing like a frumpy mom?
Q. So, I am almost 35 and "look 18", according to my husband (and all the men at the office, ew). I apparently have an "innocent look", despite the fact that I wear makeup and don't go with the trends, I have my own distinct style. Thanks to my genes, ...
A. 11 February 2015: The comment about seeing someone for a makeover that might make you look closer to your age, but that you still like, was me.
I agree with those who are saying you do NOT need to put up with this. Some may like being stared at and treated like the... (read in full...)
How can I do to prove to them that I'm not the same immature teen I used to be?
Q. I feel like my boyfriends family judge me on my behaviour as a teenager and don't accept our relationship but when I try to talk to him about it, he tells me I'm being silly and that they do like me. When I was younger, my parents divorced...
A. 11 February 2015: The proof is in the pudding - i.e. your actions. Give it time and YOU know you've changed, so don't go out of your way to prove it to them, or it will seem put-on. Just be yourself :)... (read in full...)
Would it seem like I was pressuring him if I bought him a Valentine's day present? He is going away, without me, and will be away on Valentine's day.
Q. My boyfriend and I made it official last week but he has a trip booked to his friends birthday. That birthday happens to fall into Valentine's day weekend. He knows that I love Valentine's day, I was quite annoyed when he first told me and kept hin...
A. 11 February 2015: Spoiling him and doing cutesy stuff when you've only just made it official would seem clingy because, well - you're a new couple. It's not a major deal right now because you could break up in a couple of weeks and feel like it was a waste.
You d... (read in full...)
My older sister gave me a twerk session and now I feel confused and weirded out! Is this normal behavior?
Q. I need some advice about my older sister (16). I dont know what to make of something that happened yesterday. I walked by my sisters room when i got home and saw her dancing and twerking. I didn't stop or anything but she still noticed that i saw ...
A. 11 February 2015: Anon, unfortunately, "twerking" is all the rage for the majority of people 14 - 20 (from my experience) and, again I'd say it's unfortunate, she's learning about sexuality at a very average age for this generation - yet using it very ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends baby does not look like him?
Q. My boyfriend has a 1 year old baby. However, the baby looks NOTHING absolutely nothing like him. His parents and siblings have told him to do a DNA test and so have I. He said he would do one but does not take any steps on doing so. The mother of ...
A. 11 February 2015: Like Honeypie and I have said though, he probably ENJOYS being a father and doesn't truly care if the baby isn't his biologically because he's been the father figure WILLINGLY.
You've all told him and he's decided not to do it - either accept t... (read in full...)
Dating one girl but I also sexted another girl online at the same time. How can I overcome how much I now hate myself for doing this?
Q. So i had a girlfriend of 7 months but we broke up.. Anyways i came here to say that i admit that i sexted another girl while i was with my girlfriend...I know what i did was wrong and i know i won't ever do it again (lesson learned) but i felt and...
A. 11 February 2015: Time. Give yourself time to accept you did it and forgive yourself.... (read in full...)
It's our first Valentine's together, but I might have to be at work! How can I make it up to my partner?
Q. So, there's a really good chance I'm going to be busy on my partner and my first Valentine's Day together. I applied for a job, have made it to second round interviews and if I make it through that I'm going to be inducted and working on Valentine's ...
A. 11 February 2015: Unfortunately, a job will always be more important than a day that, quite frankly, isn't necessary. Valentine's Day is basically date night, but can be made up for when you don't have to compromise between him and work.
Just say something like "sw... (read in full...)
I'm about to meet up with a guy from a dating site, but he has yet to send me a photo of himself. Should I be worried?
Q. I have been chatting to a guy online for a couple of weeks (from a dating site). We have arranged to meet up in a couple of weeks time but he seems to keep finding excuses not to send me a picture of himself. I'm not sure if I should be worried ...
A. 11 February 2015: As long as you meet (and stay) in a public place, it shouldn't be too big of a deal - but do make sure you walk on the cautious side, as with any stranger.... (read in full...)
My older sister gave me a twerk session and now I feel confused and weirded out! Is this normal behavior?
Q. I need some advice about my older sister (16). I dont know what to make of something that happened yesterday. I walked by my sisters room when i got home and saw her dancing and twerking. I didn't stop or anything but she still noticed that i saw ...
A. 10 February 2015: If this isn't a fantasy and actually happened, it's not okay to watch your sister twerk (unless she's in a group and you're not actually paying attention because you're doing something else with other people), let alone sexually dance with each ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke my hymen but we did not have sex. Am I still a virgin?
Q. please i am a virgin but my boyfriend put his penis on the tip of my virginal. it did not hurt me but suddenly my hymen broken and bleed but we did not have sex. please am i a virgin?...
A. 10 February 2015: If any part of his penis entered your vagina, even the tiniest bit, you had sex and you're not a virgin.
Also, the hymen tears for all sorts of reasons and, if you had foreplay beforehand, that could be it. You MUST have foreplay before sex or i... (read in full...)
My boyfriends baby does not look like him?
Q. My boyfriend has a 1 year old baby. However, the baby looks NOTHING absolutely nothing like him. His parents and siblings have told him to do a DNA test and so have I. He said he would do one but does not take any steps on doing so. The mother of ...
A. 10 February 2015: It does seem like he enjoys being a father - is that what bothers you? The fact that he might actually be the father of someone else's baby?
I didn't look like either of my parents until I was 2 or 3 and my brother hasn't looked like anyone i... (read in full...)
Why are people so disapproving of age gap relationships?
Q. Never been in one myself but I can't understand why society is so disapproving of relationships with a big age gap. We can accept interracial couples, even same sex couples now, but not ones where a man and woman are two different ages?? There's n...
A. 10 February 2015: It's logical why people break up over age gaps, not being similar ages, because people break up over differences, not being the same.
Like Honeypie mentioned, there are some things that are more likely in an age gap relationship, because of the a... (read in full...)
Barely a month together. Yet his ex still visits his parents? What can I do about this situation, because I do love him?.
Q. hello, really bothered about this. My bf and I have been dating for barely one month now. he told me about his ex who he dated for about two years but said he is no longer interested in her because her dad doesn't seem to like him and some other r...
A. 10 February 2015: OP, I think you need to accept this isn't love and he didn't make a clean break from his ex. She can stay friends/acquaintances with his parents with little or no trouble, but she's not because he didn't break up with a definite "we are never ... (read in full...)
Barely a month together. Yet his ex still visits his parents? What can I do about this situation, because I do love him?.
Q. hello, really bothered about this. My bf and I have been dating for barely one month now. he told me about his ex who he dated for about two years but said he is no longer interested in her because her dad doesn't seem to like him and some other r...
A. 10 February 2015: You don't know him after one month as a couple, let alone love him, Hun :/ it's infatuation with what you know of him so far.
If she won't stop and his parents want him to be with her - your best bet is to break up now; there's too much baggage ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to date me?
Q. I am dating a Hungarian man. I am not hungarian. He says l am his girlfriend but we haven't actually gone on a date that he has initiated. We have only really got together for sex. He has no time for dates but says he loves me. How can l get him to ...
A. 10 February 2015: He loves the sex. You're not dating. He doesn't love you. Why would he have time for dates of you're having sex with him without them?
Put simply, he won't date you at all if you keep having sex with him. If you stop having sex, he may date you... (read in full...)
Sometimes I just need a hug from my friend!
Q. It's like this...I have a male friend for about 12 years.We are very close and for all those years there isn't a day without phone call at least, he even sleeps at my house offen.The problem that i cant solve on my own is why he avoid any possible ...
A. 9 February 2015: I'm a hugger when I want to be, but not all the time. My former best friend (former for a different reason) was a guy and we'd hug it out or whatever, but there were time when, while we weren't too close for us, we didn't want to make his ... (read in full...)
Pregnant from a one night stand and he has gone back to his ex!
Q. Hi all I need some none judgemental advice!I am 22 and recently had a one night stand with a guy I barely know and stupidly we didn't use protection I am on the pill but recently just switched. Anyway I am now pregnant and petrified and not even ...
A. 9 February 2015: You need to decide if you'd be capable of being a single mum -
• if not, you can have a termination (whether you tell him is up to you, mostly on whether you can carry the baby to term and hand the baby over for adoption)
• or give the baby up... (read in full...)
My wife gave her ex boyfriend better sex than she gives me!
Q. I have asked my wife for 10 years to do the same sex acts that she did with her ex boyfriend but she refuses. She had sex with him daily and with me 3 times a month. I feel hurt and inferior to him. Is it ok that she denies me but wanted to ...
A. 9 February 2015: Ever wondered if she felt she HAD to do things she didn't really want to do? Or that it was easier TEN YEARS ago?
Have you ASKED, not accused, her why?... (read in full...)
Sometimes I hate it when my best friend hangs out with other people!
Q. Sometimes I hate when my best friend hangs out with other people besides me, and then other times I don't care at all. I'm really not a jealous person but I don't know what the cause of these feeling are maybe it's my own insecurities. Has anyone ...
A. 9 February 2015: I think that the anon' response is childish, assuming she's 13/14 because revenge isn't the answer when a friend has other friends. She, herself, said that she has other friends, but to use it as a weapon to try to upset your friend isn't friendly ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I hate it when my best friend hangs out with other people!
Q. Sometimes I hate when my best friend hangs out with other people besides me, and then other times I don't care at all. I'm really not a jealous person but I don't know what the cause of these feeling are maybe it's my own insecurities. Has anyone ...
A. 9 February 2015: Pretty sure everyone feels this way at some point :) That said, you need to find other things to do when she's off with other people. You need to broaden your horizons too :)... (read in full...)
Torn between two LDRs
Q. I love two guys. I know it makes me sound bad but here is how my relationships went in the past. I dated one guy and he was a ass so i left him after 2 months. I didn't really find anyone i loved but that was it until my current boyfriend(Aziz) ...
A. 9 February 2015: That's why is put "real" because an LDR is real, but not "as real" as in person.
Neither of the people are moving in with you, are they? If so, other arrangements should be made because having a relationship in person shouldn't be rushed and movi... (read in full...)
Torn between two LDRs
Q. I love two guys. I know it makes me sound bad but here is how my relationships went in the past. I dated one guy and he was a ass so i left him after 2 months. I didn't really find anyone i loved but that was it until my current boyfriend(Aziz) ...
A. 8 February 2015: Honestly, I think you should be single for several months and eventually find someone you love who you can have a "real" relationship with in person - where you can BE loved and SHOWN love, and well as show it back.
LDRs only work if there's ... (read in full...)
What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 7 February 2015: Honestly, you are looking for the wrong things and what you *think* you want, but won't actually give you *what* you want. For that reason, I can't advise you any more on this particular issue because it's one from within you that you are blind ... (read in full...)
What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 7 February 2015: Honestly, you're focusing on the wrong thing. Genuinely, if you end up in a relationship with a girl you're compatible with and you both really like each other, your inexperience in the bedroom won't bother her; she'll be happy to teach you what she ... (read in full...)
What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 6 February 2015: Ever wondered if you go for the superficial things in girls because you've only fixed what you'd considered your superficial "faults"?
Ignore the fact that you're a virgin; it's not really important because "losing" it won't affect you the way ... (read in full...)
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