My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 14 February 2015: If your mother-in-law is as evil and nasty as you're making out, you have to move out. It really is that simple because there are problems you'll have to deal with if you stay or go and, at least if you go, you won't have to worry about the witch ... (read in full...)
Does he not appreciate my virginity?
Q. My boyfriend and I have very different sexual backgrounds: he has had many partners but I have never had sex with any of the people I have dated. I'm 23 and I have always wanted to have sex with "the one" aka the person who loves me to death and I ...
A. 2 February 2015: I'll be straight with you, even though you won't like the answer.... The reason we believe it will change you is not so much because you're a virgin, but because you place so much on "losing" it to "the one. Nothing is guaranteed in life except ... (read in full...)
Conflicting school trips! Do I go camping or competing?
Q. Hi everyone, So recently I've been selected to represent my school in one of the biggest competitions amongst international schools. Unfortunately, it clashes with another school trip which is a camping trip that you'll receive award for as well....
A. 29 January 2015: I don't know if others noticed, but the competition is the one that she can do another time and she'd get an award for the camping too - so, if she can do both, I think she should :) If you can't do both, I'd advise doing the competition!... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 28 January 2015: I'm glad it all worked out.
I think that, if you're both up for it, it may be a good idea to try to be friends. I know he may be a bit old for the father figure but, if you can use this opportunity to gradually build a better bond (even if your ... (read in full...)
My gf is a liar
Q. My gf lied about talking to her ex. I'm going to try to be as factual and unbiased as possible about this, and not include any of our history. For ease of explanation let's just pretend I'm psychic. Last night (Sunday), we're laying in bed an...
A. 28 January 2015: If I'm honest, whilst her lying was wrong, you don't sound very sympathetic, so I'm not surprised she didn't feel comfortable talking to you about it. I mean, loneliness isn't an overnight thing; its a gradual realisation and you should have ... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 27 January 2015: Then you talk to your wife and maybe set a 6 month limit (for healing purposes) and he can use any inheritance to get a place of his own.... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 27 January 2015: Honestly, it sounds like you have no issues, when you delve into it, because you're not a bad guy, but her son should come first unless he's rude and you seem to be irrationally creating a problem. I mean, you just said you get on okay, so you're ... (read in full...)
He just doesn't get it so I ended it!
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend over an argument that started 2 weeks ago. We were in a restaurant having a conversation and we started disagreeing on something. He started "calling bullshit" on what I was saying and when I tried to explain what I ...
A. 27 January 2015: Then you're probably with the wrong guy and should end it; everyone deserves to be able to explain themselves before you cast any judgement, especially ones you claim to love.... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 27 January 2015: Her adult son will ALWAYS be her baby. He may need support if he was very close to his dad - your wife would have to set the boundaries that you both agree on.
Why are you against this? He seems like a good person and property prices are higher, ... (read in full...)
Conflicting school trips! Do I go camping or competing?
Q. Hi everyone, So recently I've been selected to represent my school in one of the biggest competitions amongst international schools. Unfortunately, it clashes with another school trip which is a camping trip that you'll receive award for as well....
A. 27 January 2015: At 13 - 15, your boyfriend should have no say and you shouldn't mins making him "unhappy"; it's not his decision.
If you can do one another time, do the one that you can't do again, then do the other one when you next get the chance.... (read in full...)
I am seriously thinking about putting my 2 year old up for adoption! Advice?
Q. Hi please don't judge me for this : I am seriously thinking about putting my 2 year old up for adoption. I love her but I am not the mother I hoped to be or she deserves. I cry on a daily basis, find myself snapping at her. The burst into tea...
A. 27 January 2015: Talk with a social worker; they should find you the help you need if they feel that you are capable, just in a rough spot.... (read in full...)
I had considered asking if she would let me masturbate to her but I don't want to come across as a creep. Is there another alternative?
Q. Hi. I am stuck and am open to advice. My cousin and I have been close as "brother-sister" while growing up. She is a few years older then me but we are both in our twenties. I have always had a crush on her but when we were teenagers while ...
A. 27 January 2015: The more you feed this inappropriate desire, you won't move on.
She is your cousin and, even worse, you claim to have a "brother-sister" relationship. A teenage crush is one thing, and normal, but this is growing because you're nurturing it and s... (read in full...)
I met the perfect Christian guy, but he's gay and has a boyfriend! How do I get over him and stay strong?
Q. I'm a Christian girl and I met this Christian guy through a mutual friend at a party last Halloween. He was really nice and as I got to know him I totally fell for him, he was very respecting of women and he does things like help poor people. We get ...
A. 27 January 2015: The "perfect man" doesn't exist, only the perfect partner for each individual. This guy is most definitely not the perfect guy (for you) because he's gay, so you've got to stop thinking of him like that, or you're subconsciously kidding yourself ... (read in full...)
Does he not appreciate my virginity?
Q. My boyfriend and I have very different sexual backgrounds: he has had many partners but I have never had sex with any of the people I have dated. I'm 23 and I have always wanted to have sex with "the one" aka the person who loves me to death and I ...
A. 27 January 2015: Your virginity is special because you are only a virgin once, but you seem to be more focused on being admired for your virginity, than to have a guy who would love you regardless. Virginity is "less admirable" when you're calling other girls ... (read in full...)
He just doesn't get it so I ended it!
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend over an argument that started 2 weeks ago. We were in a restaurant having a conversation and we started disagreeing on something. He started "calling bullshit" on what I was saying and when I tried to explain what I ...
A. 27 January 2015: Do you cry often? Or have these small arguments get dragged out more than they should?
I think, if it takes him two weeks to apologise and you even longer to get over it, maybe it's best you're not together.
What was the topic/issue in t... (read in full...)
Could he like me, or do you think it is something else?
Q. Okay, so to begin with I better explain my situation. I have anxiety disorder, and it is mainly social anxiety and this means that sometimes I just can't do something. Like I just physically can not do it. I'm not meant to force myself to do ...
A. 27 January 2015: 50 degrees isn't much of a head turn. Maybe seeing you have a panic attack (been there) just made him unsure about you and he probably doesn't understand anxiety disorder, so it's confusing to him.
He may or may not like you, but you'd have to ... (read in full...)
He is an Australian, and only here for another month and I will never leave America
Q. Major Agony ?? I met a wonderful boy 2 months ago and we hit it off very well. We like sane things he is kind and hardworking. Good guy. We waited a few weeks before sleeping together but that hasn't changed him or us he's still great The...
A. 27 January 2015: Some may say enjoy it while it lasts, heck; even I would sometimes, but I think it would just make it hurt more (in this situation) when he leaves. I'd suggest accepting is as a nice "fling" and letting go. To be fair, you still barely know each ... (read in full...)
He comments on other women all the time but never compliments me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. When we first got together he didn't make many comments about the way I look which I didn't really notice until I discovered he'll be very flattering to other women. Like he'll rave about the ...
A. 26 January 2015: I forgot to add that no, him acting like that isn't a part of a normal, healthy relationship and I don't think he'll change - at least not any time soon and probably never with you because he knows it bothers you (rightfully so).... (read in full...)
He comments on other women all the time but never compliments me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. When we first got together he didn't make many comments about the way I look which I didn't really notice until I discovered he'll be very flattering to other women. Like he'll rave about the ...
A. 26 January 2015: I'd stop rating the other girls he finds attractive as "pretty enough, but nothing special" because it's an ugly, jealous side of someone's personality. Besides, you don't have to find them attractive and, quite frankly, neither does he; he just has ... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend cheat on me if we don't commit and have sex?
Q. Hi there, I've been thinking all this while about my current boyfriend, who is 31years old. I am 23. Let me brief you all before i ask for help here. So, my current bf used to be my ex-boss in my previous company where I worked. He casually asked me...
A. 26 January 2015: Honestly, he's shown he doesn't care enough about you to ONLY want to be with you, so that won't change if you do have sex with him.
One statement to answer all of your questions: he's not the right guy.... (read in full...)
I really love the new guy but how do I break up with the current guy?
Q. Hello! I'm confused of what to do. I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for almost a year now. I met a new guy recently through a male friend. This new guy has really been nice to me. He said he wants us to get into a relationship but I told h...
A. 26 January 2015: By that short answer, I'm assuming our responses weren't what you wanted to hear and that you're likely to go ahead with your plan anyway?
Honestly, if thinking with your head (and your heart, in terms of being sympathetic to other people's... (read in full...)
I really love the new guy but how do I break up with the current guy?
Q. Hello! I'm confused of what to do. I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for almost a year now. I met a new guy recently through a male friend. This new guy has really been nice to me. He said he wants us to get into a relationship but I told h...
A. 25 January 2015: You don't "love" this new guy; he seems easier to be with, that's all (from what you've said).
I think you should tell your boyfriend that it's not working any more, then stay single for 3+ months (to be independent) and consider the new guy *aft... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be a female and have male features?
Q. Hey, so this is more of a confusing self esteem question. It might be that I am over thinking or I really do have a problem. I have features that make me feel as if I were meant to be a boy,but I am a female. I have a vagina, but really small ...
A. 25 January 2015: You're not the only one and it would be good to see your doctor because the hair issue could be a hormone imbalance.... (read in full...)
How do I approach my wife about having anal sex?
Q. I would like to know how to broach the topic of anal sex with my wife...I want her to do anal with me. I want her to wear a strap-on and have anal sex with me. I'm uncomfortable asking her to do so but the thought of it turns me on. Has any body ...
A. 25 January 2015: I think you have to figure out how open-minded she is before bringing it up.... (read in full...)
Those three little words, who should say them first?
Q. My boyfriend and I will have our 3 month anniversary this week so I have been wondering...who should say, "I love you," first? I have heard that it should be the man, and I would really like it to be that way...but I am nervous that he is waiti...
A. 25 January 2015: I think lots of people throw around "I love you" too quickly. In three months, most relationships are dandy, no (or very few) quirks or bad habits are apparent, everyone wants to keep up appearances and be on their best, most presentable behaviour, ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and the father wants a termination.
Q. Im pregnant. When I found out my instinct was to become a mother not to have an abortion. The father wants nothing to do with a baby right now because he wants to move and continue to find himself as he will be 25 in May. He’s called me selfish, ...
A. 25 January 2015: I agree with Brokenv that children are gifts, but a pregnancy is different when the person is pro-choice. Admittedly, you both made your choice when you had unprotected (birth control AND condoms) sex and you both should have had a conversation ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont be physical with me.
Q. I'm losing all my confidence because my boyfriend never wants to be physical he says that's just how he is, I'm so miserable but I don't want to leave him I'm 8 months pregnant he says he will try more but I feel like it's just pitiness so I tell ...
A. 25 January 2015: Lots of partners don't want to be sexual with pregnant ladies, just something that puts them off. Does he still hug and kiss you though?
I have to ask: how long have you been withh him for and how prepared are you for the baby? Stress could be... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 25 January 2015: You can't be reading these responses through;
- you won't answer the questions,
- think we are "insulting you about therapists" (not sure what you meant by that?)
- and ignored when I suggested Cognitive Behavioural Therapists b... (read in full...)
Is marriage really as bad as it looks?
Q. I've noticed that when married people talk about marriage, they rarely sound happy. It's usually described as hard work, a battle, or a series of ups and downs. It's a land of expanding waistlines, pointless arguments, sweatpants, crying babies, and ...
A. 24 January 2015: Put simply: you don't have to get married.
For people who are truly compatible long term and in love, these things may or may not exist and may or may not be an issue. It's not so much marriage as it is a long term relationship; marriage is basic... (read in full...)
She had oral sex before we got married and I just found this out! Was she a virgin?
Q. I am 30 years old and been married for 9 years. I was a virgin when we got married and she told me she was the same. Till after 8 years of marriage and 3 kids later she tells me that she gave out 20 or 30 blowjobs to two guys before me and she said ...
A. 24 January 2015: Virgin means no penis-vagina penetration (or as close as, if in a homosexual relationship).
20 - 30 blowjobs sounds "bad" for someone who wanted to stay a virgin, but then you find out it's only two people and it's not major; some people can acce... (read in full...)
How do you stop yourself from missing someone that you shouldnt be missing?
Q. I've just split up with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do with myself. Since I was 16 I've always had a boyfriend, it's only been a few days and I feel lonely and bored and I miss him. I know I sound pathetic needing to have somebody in my ...
A. 24 January 2015: You learn to take your mind off of him by building the independent life you should have had that balanced out your life with partners and would have made you less dependent on their company - starting with family and friends :)... (read in full...)
I need a break from him but we live together!
Q. I need space from my boyfriend, but we live together. We've been together over 4 years and moved in together almost a year ago. For the first time in a while, I worked some overtime over the past weekend and have had to work a little later than ...
A. 24 January 2015: Could you temporarily move out to a family member or friend's house for a week or two?... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and the father wants a termination.
Q. Im pregnant. When I found out my instinct was to become a mother not to have an abortion. The father wants nothing to do with a baby right now because he wants to move and continue to find himself as he will be 25 in May. He’s called me selfish, ...
A. 24 January 2015: I think you should plan out costs, childcare (whether family or more costs), space, etc. and figure out if you really can do it on your own. It was reckless and irresponsible to have sex without birth control and condoms and it was both of your... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time trying to change him?`
Q. I work in a clinical setting and I like to be organised,clean and tidy. My boyfriend of a year is scruffy and doesn't make himself tidy or presentable to see me. He works on his car and house a lot. We talked and csne up with a compromise. In ...
A. 24 January 2015: You can't change someone who doesn't want to change, so you have to decide on if you can love this person (as is) for the rest of your life.... (read in full...)
Its a very delicate subject ......
Q. I have a problem with my mother in law who likes to sit on my husbands lap for photos - not every time but just when she feels like it that is what she does. She just gets up off a chair and sits on their lap and this seems 'normal' to them but not ...
A. 24 January 2015: I find it odd and I couldn't imagine ever wanting to be like that with any children I have in the future, but I don't necessarily think it's sexual. If she wasn't his mother, it probably would be, but he could always tell her not to, so I'm assuming ... (read in full...)
My sister in law is cheating because I showed her how to use the internet! How do I stop this?
Q. Let me start out by saying a love my little nephews and brother to death and would do anything for them.I a very sensitive person and consistently asking people are they mad at me. I feel so bad and it's totally my fault that their mom is che...
A. 24 January 2015: Take snapshots of it as proof; your brother won't believe you if you have to tell him and have no proof.
Your nephews will still have proper parents, just not necessarily married ones. It's better that parents are happy and separated, than unh... (read in full...)
Should I spend all my money to move out (and become broke), or wait for my dad to give me money?
Q. I want to thank everyone here that adviced me in the past. I was previously anonema but forgot my password so I had to create a new account. Your words really made me take a different approach towards handling certain situations in my life. I have...
A. 23 January 2015: I'll keep it short and sweet: rely on yourself with this sort of thing. When moving out, you really don't want to have to be dependent on anyone. If you can wait long enough to be able to do it on your own, I'd strongly advise it. Unless it's an e... (read in full...)
Suspect fiance lied about past relationship, her lifestyle and degree
Q. I'm 35, had a few relationships in the past, lived with someone for 5 years but never felt like settling down and we split a few years ago and I've dated casually since. 6 months ago I met someone who is incredible, she works in the same field as ...
A. 23 January 2015: You said "paid for a few searches" which is what I meant by hiring, I worded it poorly.
I think you've got the right idea about the important lies.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 23 January 2015: Why were you having a child that you didn't want?! Just to live with her?! That's ridiculous! Sure, she shouldn't have said that, but why were you risking getting pregnant if you weren't ready for a baby and didn't want one?
How long have you been... (read in full...)
I told him no contact and I blocked him, but he got mad. Should I unblock him to send him one last message?
Q. I started No Contact on Sunday so that I could start healing from my ex (of 10 months). Before cutting him off, I sent a one liner email saying "I wish you the best." Then blocked him on Facebook and erased him from my messenger contact list. ...
A. 23 January 2015: If it was just a case of incompatibility (at least from your PoV), where he hadn't done anything wrong and you'd like to be friends later on, but need several months of no contact to heal first, then I'd say it's best to leave it on a good note by ... (read in full...)
Suspect fiance lied about past relationship, her lifestyle and degree
Q. I'm 35, had a few relationships in the past, lived with someone for 5 years but never felt like settling down and we split a few years ago and I've dated casually since. 6 months ago I met someone who is incredible, she works in the same field as ...
A. 23 January 2015: I agree with Honeypie, but I also think it's very risky to get engaged after only 6 months because you couldn't possibly even be close to knowing the person inside out, unless you've been good friends for a few years or so. I don't have a pro... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 23 January 2015: Just because you're unemployed, doesn't excuse you expecting more than she's already giving you.
OP, you haven't answered the other questions and I'll add some new ones:
What does your husband say about this?
Is he employed?
Are you act... (read in full...)
Brother-in-law is a pedophile and sister hid it from the family resulting in chaos
Q. My sister lives 6 hours away and we use to be close as children. When ever she is back in our home town 2x a year her and her husband and me and my betrothed hung out for a couple of hours and got dinner etc. My fiancé got to liking my sister and ...
A. 22 January 2015: Maybe he's abused your sister and she stays out of desperation for companionship, but a stable, level-headed person wouldn't stay - I don't necessarily think your sister knows how bad it is because your parents basically condone it, so she feels ... (read in full...)
Suspect fiance lied about past relationship, her lifestyle and degree
Q. I'm 35, had a few relationships in the past, lived with someone for 5 years but never felt like settling down and we split a few years ago and I've dated casually since. 6 months ago I met someone who is incredible, she works in the same field as ...
A. 22 January 2015: You should break up. She may have lied because of feeling inadequate, but you SPIED ON HER! You HIRED someone to dig up dirt on the woman you claim to want to be with for the rest of your life! Whether shes lied or not, it wouldn't remotely excuse ... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 22 January 2015: She hasn't lied about helping you; you're living under her roof, presumably with husband and baby - THREE more people. You are being very ungrateful; so many people who lose their jobs have nowhere to go at all. Her money, his house, their ru... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 21 January 2015: They spoil their daughter because she is THEIR DAUGHTER. Your father in law moves stuff because it's HIS HOUSE.
You have to find a way to move out; you may not realise it, but you're being very ungrateful and are acting like they owe you.
... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 20 January 2015: Whether you like it or not, you MiL is doing you a favour by letting you live with her, so you shouldn't criticise her spending HER money on clothes and only allowing HER DAUGHTER to criticise her.... This is all pretty common sense.
Thera... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 19 January 2015: How long has it been like this? Have you got another job? Looking for another job? Where is your spouse in all of this?... (read in full...)
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