What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 13 February 2015: You're dealing with girls, not women. Girls want the bad boys, women want reliable men.
Why would you need to be Mr Universe to attract women?... (read in full...)
Torn between two LDRs
Q. I love two guys. I know it makes me sound bad but here is how my relationships went in the past. I dated one guy and he was a ass so i left him after 2 months. I didn't really find anyone i loved but that was it until my current boyfriend(Aziz) ...
A. 9 February 2015: That's why is put "real" because an LDR is real, but not "as real" as in person.
Neither of the people are moving in with you, are they? If so, other arrangements should be made because having a relationship in person shouldn't be rushed and movi... (read in full...)
Torn between two LDRs
Q. I love two guys. I know it makes me sound bad but here is how my relationships went in the past. I dated one guy and he was a ass so i left him after 2 months. I didn't really find anyone i loved but that was it until my current boyfriend(Aziz) ...
A. 8 February 2015: Honestly, I think you should be single for several months and eventually find someone you love who you can have a "real" relationship with in person - where you can BE loved and SHOWN love, and well as show it back.
LDRs only work if there's ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend worried I will find another man when he is gone on a trip?
Q. My boyfriend is going away for a month with his family next week. It is an annual trip. I went through one of these trips already where he was gone a month last May. He contacted me a lot while he was away and we really missed each other. We were so ...
A. 8 February 2015: I don't know if this is the case here, but people who get doubts like this out of nowhere often develop them because they've done/almost done the things they are worried about their partner doing :/... (read in full...)
I am happy for my sister but very sad for me.
Q. Before I start, I'd just like to say that I'm very happy for my sister and this isn't about her in any way. It's about me. So on December 23rd just past, I ended my long term relationship because he just wouldn't commit to me. I'm now a month...
A. 8 February 2015: Honestly, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do and, as long as you don't mope when you're around your sister, I don't think anyone else will either.
I think that, as soon as you see just how happy your sister is when it gets closer t... (read in full...)
When I admire nude women does that mean I am objecrifying them?
Q. I sometimes admire the female shape in nude pictures...mostly artistic photography but sometimes more erotic glamour pics. The elegant lines and curves are beautiful and endlessly fascinating. Usually I'd rather look at an excellent body than at ...
A. 8 February 2015: It's not the highest form of admiring someone or the lowest form of degrading someone.
What you need to realise is that it's simple and you're over-complicating it. The fact that you respect women in real life and you don't degrade the women in... (read in full...)
When I admire nude women does that mean I am objecrifying them?
Q. I sometimes admire the female shape in nude pictures...mostly artistic photography but sometimes more erotic glamour pics. The elegant lines and curves are beautiful and endlessly fascinating. Usually I'd rather look at an excellent body than at ...
A. 7 February 2015: I think there's a difference between admiring bodies (preferably various different shapes and sizes) that are artistically portrayed, and degrading them like many men (and sometimes women) do - as though the women are in a porn video.
Yours... (read in full...)
I don't like my boyfriend going to his ex's house!
Q. Hi everyone, my bf has 3 kids wit his ex. The youngest is only 5 months. They were split up while she was pregnant. Her choice as well as his. Sometimes he goes to the house to look after the kids. He says she goes out while he is there. I am not ...
A. 7 February 2015: Put very bluntly: if you can't trust him, you need to leave him; he's doing the right thing and it's your issue to either move on from or leave him over :/
Longer, but still short response: I'm not saying he won't cheat, but if you can't trust hi... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex girfriends to leave me alone? And I want my shirt back too - how can I get it back?
Q. Hello DC! Back again. So, this is something I may or may not have brushed on before, but... How the heck can I get my exes to get off my back? There's the first girl, she's "girl 1." She is VERY clingy and won't leave me alone, because I'...
A. 7 February 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE; you thought you were old enough to date her against her mum's wishes, so now you're going to have to be "old enough" to own up, if you want your shirt back. If it means so much to you (I can understand why), then you shouldn't ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is too rough during cuddles
Q. Hi everyone. My boyfriend isn't violent at all and he loves me very much, but when we go on our bed to cuddle and stuff, he's really really rough. He always squeezes me, pulls on me, pinches me and stuff and it really hurts. I've told him to stop ...
A. 7 February 2015: I agree with Aunty BimBim and Honeypie, and I like SVC's advice too, but I wouldn't hold it as a punishment (other than leaving the room) because he may break up with you or cheat on you, by making it your fault (which it isn't at all) and you ... (read in full...)
What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 7 February 2015: Honestly, you are looking for the wrong things and what you *think* you want, but won't actually give you *what* you want. For that reason, I can't advise you any more on this particular issue because it's one from within you that you are blind ... (read in full...)
What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 7 February 2015: Honestly, you're focusing on the wrong thing. Genuinely, if you end up in a relationship with a girl you're compatible with and you both really like each other, your inexperience in the bedroom won't bother her; she'll be happy to teach you what she ... (read in full...)
Boyfriiend of 6.5 years cheated. should I forgive him
Q. My boyfriend of 6.5 yrs told me today that he slept with a German waitress while working on a ship where he spent around 6 months.I am so numb.Not sure what to say to him. We met 6.5 yrs ago and got attracted to each other though he is 9 yrs olde...
A. 6 February 2015: I wouldn't forgive him - main reason being that he said "he couldn't resist when she pulled down his pants" - I'm very sorry he treated you like that, but it's a laughable excuse that you'd be silly to accept, since it could happen again and he ... (read in full...)
What's the best way for me to either get a girlfriend or lose my virginity?
Q. I'm 21, had one girlfriend for two years, during early college. I've asked out about 5 girls one of them my girlfriend, the other four I've only gone on a date or two a piece. My friends always say that I could do better and its because I lack ...
A. 6 February 2015: Ever wondered if you go for the superficial things in girls because you've only fixed what you'd considered your superficial "faults"?
Ignore the fact that you're a virgin; it's not really important because "losing" it won't affect you the way ... (read in full...)
What to do when there are mutual feelings of trust and attraction......but he's married?
Q. I can not believe, me of all people, would have this sort of dilemma, but here goes... I work with this guy, and he's like the male version of me. I could sit here and talk him up, but I'll spare my readers. I like him wayyy more than I should, ...
A. 6 February 2015: Anon is right that loads of affairs are emotional, not just sexual - but I stand by my karma comment and the fact that you'd be mortified if your child came to you heartbroken because their partner cheated on them and you sit there knowing you did ... (read in full...)
My fiance's ex will not allow their children to be in our wedding
Q. Dear all Following a previous post, again I need some advice on dealing with a highly sensitive issue regarding my future lovely step children. We are getting married this year and they are supposed to be my flower girl and usher to which t...
A. 6 February 2015: I don't know what situation you have with visitation/joint custody, but surely a court can allow the children to go to your wedding. I guess that, if you didn't invite their mother (and they are under 10), then it would be a reason for her playing ... (read in full...)
Is he flirting with his ex? I do really love him
Q. I have a boyfriend who is three years older than me, I'm 18. He has two kids aged 3 and 4, both from different mothers. We have been together for over six months and I have been introduced to the children. I have bonded a lot more with the fo...
A. 5 February 2015: I am in 100% agreement with Honeypie. I wouldn't ordinarily judge people, but to have two kids from two different relationships, without being married to either, and so close together, without any consideration for those children (just like the ... (read in full...)
What to do when there are mutual feelings of trust and attraction......but he's married?
Q. I can not believe, me of all people, would have this sort of dilemma, but here goes... I work with this guy, and he's like the male version of me. I could sit here and talk him up, but I'll spare my readers. I like him wayyy more than I should, ...
A. 5 February 2015: "What to do when there are mutual feelings of trust and attraction......but he's married?" Leave it alone and imagine yourself as the family you would help him break up. Quite frankly, you'd have mutual feelings of selfishness, inconsideration,... (read in full...)
Can I object to certain types of porn?
Q. Am I wrong for being angry at my partner for watching female solo masturbation? I am fine with him watching normal porn, as I do too.. BUT I feel watching a solo (gorgeous) girl masturbate and orgasm is a little different.. It has really hurt me a...
A. 5 February 2015: That IS normal porn, just not what you like (understandable), so you don't count it as normal (presumably couples?).
You could ask him why he watches it, but I wouldn't get angry - especially if he didn't/doesn't know how you feel about it.
W... (read in full...)
How important is the online photo?
Q. been single for 5 years and now making a big effort to find someone. I have hated the idea of online dating and had some rubbish experiences 4 years ago, but now I am trying it out with a different perspective. I am a very private person and don'...
A. 4 February 2015: Honestly, I don't blame people for walking away from someone with no/fake picture. That said, I understand why you do it.
I think you should take one full ( clothed :P ) body picture and then people know what they'd be getting from the get-go a... (read in full...)
He's my Best friend's brother and 3-4 years younger than me (I'm 19) and I'm falling for him. How can I get over him?
Q. Hi I am in a dilemma. A while back my friend had a birthday party, which we all had alcohol. I had just a bit too much and started hanging all over my friend's brother, crying into his shoulder. It ended with us almost making out, but she w...
A. 4 February 2015: It's not unusual to get (friendship) close to a younger sibling's friend who is a few years younger than you (like 16 /13, 19/15/16), but you have things in common, and you don't think about their age when you're with them. It's not horrifically... (read in full...)
How would you feel if your partner told you its not his fault you can't get pregnant because he already has a child?
Q. I feel terrible for even asking this but if you were having difficulties getting pregnant, how would you feel if your partner told you that it can't be his problem as he already has a child? We have been together for three years, and I adore his ...
A. 4 February 2015: Also, I think you should try married life for a year or so before trying to get pregnant; marriage can sometimes change things and you don't want to be pregnant when dealing with the issues that many new marriages go through.... (read in full...)
I'm a girl that fantasizes about being a guy!
Q. I'm bisexual, but I fantasise a lot about being a guy. And this confuses me so much, I don't know what to do....
A. 4 February 2015: Try cross-dressing in a safe environment and see how you feel. We all have fantasies, whether sexual or general, some are good to try and others aren't. This one could be :)... (read in full...)
How would you feel if your partner told you its not his fault you can't get pregnant because he already has a child?
Q. I feel terrible for even asking this but if you were having difficulties getting pregnant, how would you feel if your partner told you that it can't be his problem as he already has a child? We have been together for three years, and I adore his ...
A. 4 February 2015: It's raw, that's why it still bothers you. If he agrees to go to the doctor with you, I think that will help you accept his apology.
I may be wrong, but I think that even those who struggle to get/stay pregnant, can still have a child at some poi... (read in full...)
First partners and oral sex?
Q. When you dated your first boyfriend, did you give him oral sex?...
A. 4 February 2015: Why? It all depends on feelings, age, length of the relationship, etc. Too many variables, what do you want to know from these answers?... (read in full...)
I would like some attention but don't want him to think I'm a princess
Q. My boyfriend of 8 years and I have just moved in together and he lives away moday-Friday. I am concerned on what role I play and need someones advice. I know it may sound really stupid, but his mum has always done everything for him so he has never ...
A. 3 February 2015: I couldn't be in such an unbalanced relationship because the chances of him changing are slim-to-none. Why? Because his mum will always be there to take his side and baby him, and he wants it to stay that way, so that he doesn't have to grow up.
... (read in full...)
If I'm going to be treated this way should I not be honest?
Q. Some weeks ago i found a wallet, there was no identification inside the wallet but there was £110. I handed the wallet in to my manager with the contents. Several weeks later my manager called me into his office and gave me the wallet saying it was ...
A. 3 February 2015: I know that a job is necessary for money but, is there really no way you could look for a new one?
You should stand up for yourself to show them that you refuse to be a scapegoat and, if they fire you for doing that, they aren't a company you want... (read in full...)
Being raped at university is ruining my life. Please help.
Q. Hi guys, not sure if this is the right place to ask for advice but I'm stuck for anywhere else to turn. Basically, whilst I was at university I was raped and ended up developing PTSD, which combined with the long court battle impacted on my degree ...
A. 2 February 2015: I'm in a similar position, just a different reason for the PTSD.
All I can say is that, while looking for a paid job, voluntary work fills that gap on your CV and gives you a feeling of pride and purpose :)... (read in full...)
Does he not appreciate my virginity?
Q. My boyfriend and I have very different sexual backgrounds: he has had many partners but I have never had sex with any of the people I have dated. I'm 23 and I have always wanted to have sex with "the one" aka the person who loves me to death and I ...
A. 2 February 2015: I'll be straight with you, even though you won't like the answer.... The reason we believe it will change you is not so much because you're a virgin, but because you place so much on "losing" it to "the one. Nothing is guaranteed in life except ... (read in full...)
I miss him. But we both left the business before we exchanged numbers. I feel so lost. How can I find him? please help
Q. I used to work in a well known food retail store in London but got the sack, last month, after many disciplinary hearings for being late. There was a guy (we'll call him 'John') who worked next door to me; I liked him the second he approach...
A. 1 February 2015: You could always ask his colleagues now though....
Voluntary work can still give you bad references if you're not being on time :/... (read in full...)
I miss him. But we both left the business before we exchanged numbers. I feel so lost. How can I find him? please help
Q. I used to work in a well known food retail store in London but got the sack, last month, after many disciplinary hearings for being late. There was a guy (we'll call him 'John') who worked next door to me; I liked him the second he approach...
A. 1 February 2015: You should focus more on being on time, as to avoid being fired again :P Well, that, and you need good references - employers don't want employees who repeatedly turn up late, to the point that they got fired :/
As for the guy, I think you need... (read in full...)
She now knows I'm older than I said. Shall I leave it a couple of days and drop a note, explaining all to her, under the door or knock?
Q. Thank you for reading. I have been with my girlfriend a year and we have had a great time. My family moved away and they have pretty much been family to me. We have done trips and I really have spolit her and we have been to some great places / g...
A. 31 January 2015: She may or may not call again. You didn't just knock a couple of years off, you went from 30 to 24. A person of 21 might decide that they won't date anyone more than 3 years older because of the life stage compatibility.
Even though lying about a ... (read in full...)
When I tell my mother I'll be in serious trouble. So how do I tell my mother I'm dating?
Q. There's a boy that I have been really close to and a few months ago he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and since then we have been super close, hugged a lot and kissed a few times. The only thing is, my mom has no clue! She always war...
A. 31 January 2015: She needs to know for three reasons: trust, communication and safety.
As long as you tell her (and prove) that you'll be very careful and won't rush things, I think she'll be more accepting.
You need to understand why she says what she does an... (read in full...)
Should I agree that it's OK? My Girlfriend wants to wear transparent clothing that will allow her breasts to be seen to others in public.
Q. Should I let my girlfriend to go braless in public? Will it be okay to allow her? she wants to wear very short dresses, and dresses that allow her breasts to be seen through the fabric and be transparent and be viewable in public. She says she wan...
A. 30 January 2015: Personally, I think it looks a bit cheap - like, could you not accentuate your assets without making them almost as visible as if you were to be naked.
That said, it's not your right to tell her what she can or can't do with her body. You ca... (read in full...)
I'm uncomfortable with him getting me an expensive birthday present
Q. Hello! So tmr is my 16th birthday and well my bf wants to get me charms from pandora.. And well I told him it's really expensive that he doesn't need to get me like pandora stuff if he really wanna get me a pressie... And I told him to just come and ...
A. 30 January 2015: Assuming he's your age, I also don't think it's wise because, when being realistic, teen relationships are fun and should be enjoyed (safely), but they don't usually last - so, buying an expensive gift(s) when your near future together is very ... (read in full...)
All my friends have said to ditch him but I'm genuinely in love with him. I don't know what to do!
Q. Okay, so there's this boy. We started off as friends, but one night we got very drunk and slept together. We carried on sleeping together every time we got drunk. But then we started doing more, so he'd ask me if i wanted to go for lunch or to the ...
A. 30 January 2015: If that's what you think you should do, go for it, but I don't think it's wise. At some point, you'll end up in a position you don't want to be in and you'll have to end your friendship, as well as probably having your pride wounded because your ... (read in full...)
My mother-in-law ignores my children
Q. I need help getting along with my mother in law. We been married for 5 years with 3 kids and till to this day my MIL ignored our children. When she calls she always asked about her son and maybe her grandkids later.....she always checked when we ...
A. 30 January 2015: Near enough this situation happened to my family. My mum stopped visiting my dad's mum and we never saw them much anyway, but I stopped too (minus once every other year-ish) because she was nasty to me and my mother. My dad still talks to her ... (read in full...)
Conflicting school trips! Do I go camping or competing?
Q. Hi everyone, So recently I've been selected to represent my school in one of the biggest competitions amongst international schools. Unfortunately, it clashes with another school trip which is a camping trip that you'll receive award for as well....
A. 29 January 2015: I don't know if others noticed, but the competition is the one that she can do another time and she'd get an award for the camping too - so, if she can do both, I think she should :) If you can't do both, I'd advise doing the competition!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't support my passion for competing in beauty pageants!
Q. So my BF has recently told me that competing in beauty pageants is a complete waste of my time. That I need to focus on career and becoming a wife and having more kids. I'm 30 and recently auditioned for a pageant and got in. It's coming up in a few ...
A. 29 January 2015: Beauty pageants do tend to be mostly about looks and outer beauty - even though most include inner beauty - it's not as highly rated as the outer (how many average/less attractive people are there because they have great personalities?). I think h... (read in full...)
All my friends have said to ditch him but I'm genuinely in love with him. I don't know what to do!
Q. Okay, so there's this boy. We started off as friends, but one night we got very drunk and slept together. We carried on sleeping together every time we got drunk. But then we started doing more, so he'd ask me if i wanted to go for lunch or to the ...
A. 29 January 2015: This is infatuation; in my opinion, being IN love takes two.
Your friends are right; the longer you hang around, the more hurt you'll get. He's been very blunt (for the most part) and it will be your own fault if you proceed and get hurt :/... (read in full...)
How will I deal with culture shock if I move from the Usa to England?
Q. My boyfriend and I have known each other for years (5+) and been dating for 2 of those years. For a while we have told each other that we seem right together and cannot imagine the future without each other. A month or so ago he began slipping i...
A. 28 January 2015: Honestly, I don't think there's much of a culture difference. I think, for the most part, we are America on a smaller scale. That said, random homeowners can't own guns and the weather may be different (depending on the state you live in).
The o... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 28 January 2015: I'm glad it all worked out.
I think that, if you're both up for it, it may be a good idea to try to be friends. I know he may be a bit old for the father figure but, if you can use this opportunity to gradually build a better bond (even if your ... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 27 January 2015: Then you talk to your wife and maybe set a 6 month limit (for healing purposes) and he can use any inheritance to get a place of his own.... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 27 January 2015: Honestly, it sounds like you have no issues, when you delve into it, because you're not a bad guy, but her son should come first unless he's rude and you seem to be irrationally creating a problem. I mean, you just said you get on okay, so you're ... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 27 January 2015: Her adult son will ALWAYS be her baby. He may need support if he was very close to his dad - your wife would have to set the boundaries that you both agree on.
Why are you against this? He seems like a good person and property prices are higher, ... (read in full...)
Conflicting school trips! Do I go camping or competing?
Q. Hi everyone, So recently I've been selected to represent my school in one of the biggest competitions amongst international schools. Unfortunately, it clashes with another school trip which is a camping trip that you'll receive award for as well....
A. 27 January 2015: At 13 - 15, your boyfriend should have no say and you shouldn't mins making him "unhappy"; it's not his decision.
If you can do one another time, do the one that you can't do again, then do the other one when you next get the chance.... (read in full...)
Does he not appreciate my virginity?
Q. My boyfriend and I have very different sexual backgrounds: he has had many partners but I have never had sex with any of the people I have dated. I'm 23 and I have always wanted to have sex with "the one" aka the person who loves me to death and I ...
A. 27 January 2015: Your virginity is special because you are only a virgin once, but you seem to be more focused on being admired for your virginity, than to have a guy who would love you regardless. Virginity is "less admirable" when you're calling other girls ... (read in full...)
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