A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like my boyfriends family judge me on my behaviour as a teenager and don't accept our relationship but when I try to talk to him about it, he tells me I'm being silly and that they do like me. When I was younger, my parents divorced and I took it hard. I ended up living with my Gran, who lives a few doors away from my boyfriends family, so I have known him and his family ever since I was a child. He is older, 9 years to be exact and I remember liking him ever since I noticed guys. He got married when I was 15, and it was during that time I was acting out more and more. My mum kicked me out after I was expelled from my second school and I was always in trouble. As a result, I ended up living with my Gran until I calmed down. All of my Grans neighbours disliked me, and called me the nightmare, sometimes to my face. I accept I was a terror and I needed to grow up. I'm now 24 and I have grown up a lot. I have a good job, and I have made peace with my parents and my issues surrounding their divorce. Late 2013, I ended up talking to my boyfriend one afternoon when we were in the same pub. I hadn't seen him for a while, but I knew he had a child now and we just chatted about that and what we were doing now, about families ect. We added each other on facebook and chatted a few times. A few months later, his marriage ended. Their break up had been a long time coming, and it ended really well. (I'm really good friends with his ex wife). I don't really know how we ended up dating but it was just a friendly drink and then we were together almost every week, just meeting up and hanging out.When we went official I was ridiculously nervous about meeting his parents as I still knew they weren't keen on me. It was awkward, and whenever I tried to join in the conversation, they would either change the subject or ignore what I had said. I accept that they needed to see that I had changed but it has been almost a year and they still act like this. I don't get invited to family meals, or parties. I get left out of plans...I invited them to my birthday meal in December but they said they couldn't make it. (My boyfriends ex wife even came! So I cant be that bad!) I don't want to fall out with them or my boyfriend but what can I do to prove to them that I'm not the same immature child I was when they first got to know me?
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (11 February 2015):
Why don't you try talking about it? Be honest, tell them that you took the divorce hard and were not a good kid for awhile, but you realized what you were doing and worked hard to change.
Tell them that you know a few words won't change their mind but ask that at the very least they allow you the chance to prove your different and judge you on how you are now and not how you were when you were a kid.
A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (11 February 2015):
 The proof is in the pudding - i.e. your actions. Give it time and YOU know you've changed, so don't go out of your way to prove it to them, or it will seem put-on. Just be yourself :)
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