My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 14 February 2015: If your mother-in-law is as evil and nasty as you're making out, you have to move out. It really is that simple because there are problems you'll have to deal with if you stay or go and, at least if you go, you won't have to worry about the witch ... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 25 January 2015: You can't be reading these responses through;
- you won't answer the questions,
- think we are "insulting you about therapists" (not sure what you meant by that?)
- and ignored when I suggested Cognitive Behavioural Therapists b... (read in full...)
Suspect fiance lied about past relationship, her lifestyle and degree
Q. I'm 35, had a few relationships in the past, lived with someone for 5 years but never felt like settling down and we split a few years ago and I've dated casually since. 6 months ago I met someone who is incredible, she works in the same field as ...
A. 23 January 2015: You said "paid for a few searches" which is what I meant by hiring, I worded it poorly.
I think you've got the right idea about the important lies.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 23 January 2015: Why were you having a child that you didn't want?! Just to live with her?! That's ridiculous! Sure, she shouldn't have said that, but why were you risking getting pregnant if you weren't ready for a baby and didn't want one?
How long have you been... (read in full...)
Suspect fiance lied about past relationship, her lifestyle and degree
Q. I'm 35, had a few relationships in the past, lived with someone for 5 years but never felt like settling down and we split a few years ago and I've dated casually since. 6 months ago I met someone who is incredible, she works in the same field as ...
A. 23 January 2015: I agree with Honeypie, but I also think it's very risky to get engaged after only 6 months because you couldn't possibly even be close to knowing the person inside out, unless you've been good friends for a few years or so. I don't have a pro... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 23 January 2015: Just because you're unemployed, doesn't excuse you expecting more than she's already giving you.
OP, you haven't answered the other questions and I'll add some new ones:
What does your husband say about this?
Is he employed?
Are you act... (read in full...)
Suspect fiance lied about past relationship, her lifestyle and degree
Q. I'm 35, had a few relationships in the past, lived with someone for 5 years but never felt like settling down and we split a few years ago and I've dated casually since. 6 months ago I met someone who is incredible, she works in the same field as ...
A. 22 January 2015: You should break up. She may have lied because of feeling inadequate, but you SPIED ON HER! You HIRED someone to dig up dirt on the woman you claim to want to be with for the rest of your life! Whether shes lied or not, it wouldn't remotely excuse ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with me or am I attracted to girls?
Q. Am 19 years old girl and have had sex with 3 guys,but I don't really feel it.Sometimes I watch porn to be aroused,but what really turns me on is girl on girl kind of porn.Watching porn and masturbating is what I enjoy more. Is there something wrong ...
A. 22 January 2015: Please get a check up for STDs; 3 partners by 19, whilst not wrong, means that you're at a higher risk of having STDs.
Other than that, it may just be self-exploration.
Do you get oral sex performed on you? Penetration alone doesn't arouse m... (read in full...)
Should I go to a high school reunion when I'll probably be the only single one??
Q. During the holidays I went to visit my hometown and came across a high school mate I'd been friends with during that time. It so happened at the end of January a mini high school reunion was taking place and I was invited. Unwittingly I accepted ...
A. 22 January 2015: Couldn't you just go and realise that you don't NEED to be in a relationship? Their lives may seem "better" than yours on the outside, but you're all really young, so it's not like their lives have all fallen into place.
If you can, I'd say give... (read in full...)
He was in a FWB a few years ago with an older woman. How can I get over my disgust at what he did in the past?
Q. My 27-year-old boyfriend went through a really rough time in his life a few years ago, which led him to make a huge mistake. He let this woman (10-15 years older than him) to throw herself at him and spend money on him just so that she could have ...
A. 22 January 2015: There's nothing wrong with it making you feel uncomfortable, but this is where you have to decide to take him and his past or leave it all.... (read in full...)
What was he trying to do at the party?
Q. I have a boyfriend who I love! However, at my Christmas party, one of my colleagues told me he was sexually attracted to me, could see he wanted to make moves. He told me that his girlfriend did not stay in shape for him and he wasn't happy with her ...
A. 22 January 2015: First off, something that annoyed me about this guy was that he thought his girlfriend should keep fit FOR HIM. Ugh!
I suppose you could try talking to him to clear the air but, if you do that, you need to know your game plan beforehand.... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend lied about being married, should I keep dating him? He only sees his wife once a year
Q. Started dating a guy in the army back in June, it was more casual than anything else. Then the last few months it got more serious and I could tell me was falling in love with me. When I first went to his place I asked him if he was married as there ...
A. 22 January 2015: I agree with Honeypie and anonymous; to YOU, he is your boyfriend, but to HIM, you are his mistress.
It doesn't make you a bad person for WANTING to continue it, because you feel strongly about him, but ACTUALLY continuing it would be very wro... (read in full...)
How should I tell my ex about my new girl friend?
Q. My relationship is great with my current girlfriend but my ex girlfriend is still in love with me and we are best friends but how do I tell that I'm with someone else without hurting her because I still wish to be friends with her still but he...
A. 22 January 2015: If it's not platonic on both sides, you can't be friends - which is why, unless there was no love connection, most people don't stay friends with their exes unless they have children together or have several months of no contact whatsoever between ... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 22 January 2015: She hasn't lied about helping you; you're living under her roof, presumably with husband and baby - THREE more people. You are being very ungrateful; so many people who lose their jobs have nowhere to go at all. Her money, his house, their ru... (read in full...)
She's 18 and I'm 15. Met online. Never talked on phone. Never met in person. Should I do as we planned or what?
Q. Hello Aunts and uncles! So, I met this girl some time ago (maybe 6-ish months or more) she's 18 and I'm 15. We both have admitted to liking each other, and we've sent pictures of each other (her more than me because it's a bit more difficul...
A. 22 January 2015: It's very probably that she could find out where you live by your full name and state, along with age - unless your name is as common as "John Smith".... I still think you should Facebook search her and ask her to take a picture of herself with your ... (read in full...)
How do you deal with an adult son that disrespects his father?
Q. I'm engaged to a man that his little contact with his son. His son is now engaged to a wonderful girl and is getting married. They are being frugal about their wedding plans so they can go on a honeymoon and save for a house, which we think is ...
A. 22 January 2015: I'd suggest staying out of it. You only know what your fiancée has told you about why he has little contact with either of his kids. To be honest, your fiancée might be a great man in all that you know of him, but he may have been an ... (read in full...)
She's 18 and I'm 15. Met online. Never talked on phone. Never met in person. Should I do as we planned or what?
Q. Hello Aunts and uncles! So, I met this girl some time ago (maybe 6-ish months or more) she's 18 and I'm 15. We both have admitted to liking each other, and we've sent pictures of each other (her more than me because it's a bit more difficul...
A. 22 January 2015: You don't have a phone or computer, but you have a Kindle Fire? o_O
She could send you a picture of her holding a piece of paper with your name (she only knows your first name, right? No address, etc.?) handwritten on it....
How do you co... (read in full...)
She's 18 and I'm 15. Met online. Never talked on phone. Never met in person. Should I do as we planned or what?
Q. Hello Aunts and uncles! So, I met this girl some time ago (maybe 6-ish months or more) she's 18 and I'm 15. We both have admitted to liking each other, and we've sent pictures of each other (her more than me because it's a bit more difficul...
A. 21 January 2015: The fact that you wonder if she may be someone dodgy is a good sign because, honestly, there's nothing a 15 year old can give an 18 year old in a relationship. If she has to meet minors online to date them, no matter how perfect she seems - you have ... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 21 January 2015: They spoil their daughter because she is THEIR DAUGHTER. Your father in law moves stuff because it's HIS HOUSE.
You have to find a way to move out; you may not realise it, but you're being very ungrateful and are acting like they owe you.
... (read in full...)
How can I get my father to give him a second chance?
Q. Hello, I am a mature senior in high school who has experienced a lot at this point in my life. I dated a boy who was a couple years older than me for over two years. He was my high school sweetheart and we were madly in love. He was a part of my fa...
A. 20 January 2015: You are lying and sneaking around, like your boyfriend did, but he just added theft. You are being untrustworthy, just like him. He may have changed, but you don't just put stuff back and apologise; its a criminal act. He may say he only stole ... (read in full...)
Would a memorial tattoo put off a future partner?
Q. Me and my ex mutually agreed that it wasn't working as a couple because we had been friends for over a decade before dating and that felt more like us than the time we'd spent trying to be a couple. After breaking up, we found out she was pregnant ...
A. 20 January 2015: Personally, I think you've both been through a traumatic time that will be with you for the rest of your lives. Like you say, you are going through it together, I believe as parents, not a couple. That's why I think it wont matter to someone who ... (read in full...)
I'm caught between two best friends. What to do???
Q. **Don't just assume because of my age that I'm not worth your time, because I could really use the help please** God I can't believe Im actually going through with this..,well, yes I know I'm young but everyone knows that people always date when ...
A. 20 January 2015: You shouldn't "boy-hop", so I think you should break up with both, at least for now, and decide if you want to be with either of them after a few months of being single.... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend out of line in her comments about mental illness?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend 2 and a half years and honestly some of the things she does and says take the absolute biscuit. Yesterday we were speaking about mental illness, I have confided in her before and gotten the same reaction, in my ...
A. 20 January 2015: I'm not going to give you a "maybe you should...." Because this is controlling, manipulative behaviour that nobody needs in their life - let alone someone who has mental health struggles to deal with(please go back to your doctor).
She "made" y... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 20 January 2015: Whether you like it or not, you MiL is doing you a favour by letting you live with her, so you shouldn't criticise her spending HER money on clothes and only allowing HER DAUGHTER to criticise her.... This is all pretty common sense.
Thera... (read in full...)
My violent sexual fantasies bother me
Q. [MOD NOTE: OP's title] I have a sort of embarassing problem. Ever since I started discovering sex I tend to have extremely violent fantasies of me dominating men. It's always random, anonymous people, I can't imagine anyone I know there. It's mag...
A. 19 January 2015: I agree; you could see a therapist if it really bothers you, or even just online role play (no webcam/pictures), if that satisfies your fantasy, whilst keeping you comfortable about not physically acting on them?... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 19 January 2015: How long has it been like this? Have you got another job? Looking for another job? Where is your spouse in all of this?... (read in full...)
I am pregnant, fearful and uneasy with my LDR engagement. I need an intervention.
Q. How do I act, communicate or make things better in my LDR relationship without looking like a jealous, insecured and weak woman? I am currently engaged to my LDR boyfriend and we just found out I am expecting a child on NewYears. I may just be ...
A. 19 January 2015: I think that you're both going to have to MAKE TIME to talk for a few hours about where this is headed and what you're going to do. This just isn't going to work with a baby involved and parents not living with (or at least close to) each other.
... (read in full...)
Alternative to engagement rings?
Q. Hello everyone, so I have been with my boyfriend for some years now and we have talked about marriage. He has already asked me if I would like to marry him (he's asked several times). I said yes each time except once (as a joke because he already ...
A. 19 January 2015: Any type of jewellery would be great; it's what it signifies, not the object itself :)
That said, I wouldn't advice matching tattooes because, forgive me for playing devil's advocate, but it would be an awfully permanent reminder if things d... (read in full...)
Are we obliged to inform friends when our plans change?
Q. My boyfriend told me that he just wants to be friends, and I agreed. Last week, I told him that I would stop by after my weekly club meeting. He said great, see ya soon. The meeting was longer than I thought, but once it was over I offered to still...
A. 19 January 2015: Seems like you're not happy with being just friends, since you still call him "boyfriend" each time....
Friend/family/partner/acquaintance, it's common courtesy to tell someone if you can't meet them when you arranged to.... (read in full...)
My beautiful little dog just died and I feel lost
Q. Hello, My little dog died last January 9th and I feel terrible, guilty and extremely lost. I really need some help because I feel terrible and I don't know how I am going to get over this situation. I try to rescue stray dogs to then find them a ...
A. 19 January 2015: I'm sorry you went through this :/
Maybe you could get a locket and put his picture in it?
Also, if you decide to get another dog, I wouldn't advise a puppy because there are so many rescues who would desperately need your love and reciprocate ... (read in full...)
My b/f wants to try anal sex, but I don't think I'm comfortable with it. How common is it for people to try anal sex?
Q. I'm wondering what everyone thinks of anal sex. I'm 21 my b/f is 23 and we've been together roughly 2 years. He's the only guy I've ever been with and we have been sexually active for a few months now. He's recently told me about wanting to try a...
A. 18 January 2015: Research it and tell him if you want to try it, but want him to be very slow and gentle (with lots of lube and a condom!)....
He's already seen your backside and he's still around and wants to pay it some attention, so that would suggest he doesn... (read in full...)
Should I sever all ties, or stay with my pregnant girl friend?
Q. Hey all, I just wanted to get some opinions... i have been with my current girlfriend now for 7 months, I know its not long but it was amazing in the beginning and i felt like i loved her more than anyone before. She had to move back to her coun...
A. 18 January 2015: If you genuinely can't see this girl has no control and is only going to be toxic in your life, you need to see a counsellor. Do you know why most rehabs have rules that say you can't date another person from it? Because two drug users are dange... (read in full...)
I played a prank on my girlfriend.. Should I break up with her because I can't handle the guilt?
Q. Hey Cupid I think I have messed up. I played a prank on a girl I was dating and sort of felt guilty by doing so. My plan was to make her doubt me because she trusted everything from the beginning which I found a bit naïve so I thought I'd just ac...
A. 18 January 2015: Maybe you should break up; either she's not over it, or you continue to try to find reasons why she can't/wont stay with you.
Ask her.... (read in full...)
Is being 22 and a virgin off putting?
Q. I'm 22 and have never had a boyfriend, i've never had sex. I have given a blow job before to a guy i thought really liked me, apart from that nobody seems to be interested in me? Is being 22 and a virgin off putting? A turn off? ...
A. 17 January 2015: If it is, then they aren't really interested in you - just in sex. Same goes for if they ask if you're a virgin. Keep it to yourself until a few months (or more) into an officially (as in verbally confirmed) exclusive relationship and you feel ready ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting my nineteen yr.old son to move out and get his own apartment?
Q. Dear Cupid,I have a three bedroom apt.my mom,son and I live there its roomy for us .But my son has a problem with helping with house hold chores.He works and goes to school but in between time he doesn't take trash out wash dishes or anything to ...
A. 17 January 2015: If you look at the rent for a basic one bedroom apartment and halve it or quatre it and say to him "I need more help around the house or I'm going to have to start charging you $___ rent a month." Don't have a go, keep it calm. I do wonder if you... (read in full...)
Living with grandmother. I want out. Should I get a job that MAY pay better, or should I take the risk and leave now? Suggestions?
Q. Currently I'm living with my grandmother. I help her pay bills,but she treats me like a child. Living there is like living in a prison. I can't do this, I can't do that, I can't have friends over(don't have many to begin with) and when I final...
A. 17 January 2015: Depends what you can handle - but you'd have to stop complaining because it's a lot better than prison and she doesn't HAVE to let you live with her (rent free?)....
Be grateful for what you have; not everyone has someone who will take them in,... (read in full...)
Should I call his bluff and leave?
Q. So, when I met my partner (stanley) he worked as a builder for a bloke (trevor)for £100 cash a week (if he was lucky). I persuaded him to go out and get a full time job so we could move out together and everything was lovely, we were both so happy. ...
A. 17 January 2015: I'm going to be honest here and say you can't move out and move back in. Once you move out, that's it. He doesn't WANT or have the backbone to support your family, so you're essentially not in a good place with him and you should be leaving him.
... (read in full...)
Should I sever all ties, or stay with my pregnant girl friend?
Q. Hey all, I just wanted to get some opinions... i have been with my current girlfriend now for 7 months, I know its not long but it was amazing in the beginning and i felt like i loved her more than anyone before. She had to move back to her coun...
A. 16 January 2015: It's not a catch 22, it's a toxic relationships. Drugs are not healthy for you. Marijuana is the only one that is okay in recreational, but responsible use. You will hurt each other if you stay together because you're encouraging each other to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want his expensive birthday gift, and I can't get my money back!
Q. I got my boyfriend an pretty expensive bday gift. I got us a cabin as a weekday getaway. I planned everything including food and transportation. I wanted to surprise him and he doesn't want to go. He says he'll be hungover and he wants to go out ...
A. 16 January 2015: I think it sounds more like a female present than a male one, at least at his age (presuming he's in your age bracket). Don't get me wrong; it's a great gift, but it's a mature one and he wants an immature one. Going out with mates is one thing, no ... (read in full...)
My fiancee seems to not try to impress me anymore or even bother having sex with me.
Q. Im getting married in a year and a half to my fiancee. We have an 8 year age gap and I love him very much. With the past month though I feel I am cracking up.I'm not sure am I just over thinking or what but I feel he is letting me down alot. It all ...
A. 16 January 2015: continued....
without living together, Anonymous123, how could you know if you could handle the quirks and habits your partner have? Sometimes that's the deciding vote on whether they are compatible long term and should still get married.... (read in full...)
My fiancee seems to not try to impress me anymore or even bother having sex with me.
Q. Im getting married in a year and a half to my fiancee. We have an 8 year age gap and I love him very much. With the past month though I feel I am cracking up.I'm not sure am I just over thinking or what but I feel he is letting me down alot. It all ...
A. 16 January 2015: You need to get over the materialistic stuff if he really can't afford it - that said, a thought is empty if you tell them you can get it when you know that you can't (which is different than saying "I wanted to get you ____ but couldn't afford it, ... (read in full...)
I played a prank on my girlfriend.. Should I break up with her because I can't handle the guilt?
Q. Hey Cupid I think I have messed up. I played a prank on a girl I was dating and sort of felt guilty by doing so. My plan was to make her doubt me because she trusted everything from the beginning which I found a bit naïve so I thought I'd just ac...
A. 16 January 2015: She's over it, YOU'RE NOT.
You don't need to "make it up to her" because she says she didn't mind it, but you do need to never do a "jokey test" like that again because you don't know when to stop.
Get professional help because you need to work... (read in full...)
I played a prank on my girlfriend.. Should I break up with her because I can't handle the guilt?
Q. Hey Cupid I think I have messed up. I played a prank on a girl I was dating and sort of felt guilty by doing so. My plan was to make her doubt me because she trusted everything from the beginning which I found a bit naïve so I thought I'd just ac...
A. 16 January 2015: You speak to a therapist.
This isn't messed up because she says it isn't, but you are projecting guilt on to yourself, do you need to see a professional for help.... (read in full...)
Should I sever all ties, or stay with my pregnant girl friend?
Q. Hey all, I just wanted to get some opinions... i have been with my current girlfriend now for 7 months, I know its not long but it was amazing in the beginning and i felt like i loved her more than anyone before. She had to move back to her coun...
A. 16 January 2015: This is a mess. Your girlfriend can do all the drugs she wants, but she's carrying a poor, defenceless baby who is also being affected by the substances she consumes and you think it's best that she KEEPS IT?! I'm sorry, but I don't follow your ... (read in full...)
Flirting with my best friend's wife...should I go further?
Q. My best friend started dating this girl years ago. My gf at the time and her were bffs. My friends gf and i had this chemistry that is so lustful and exciting. We would mess around a bit and eventually it came out in the open. We admitted guilt and ...
A. 15 January 2015: That's the link I was going to post, Honeypie.
Really, OP. How could you be so selfish and cruel to do this to your best friend of all people?... (read in full...)
I cannot compromise my morals for this man but we have about 90% of things in common. What do I do?
Q. I met a guy 5yrs ago and we became almost best friends for about 6mths. We went out one night with mutual friends, got very drunk after everyone else left and kissed. This happened one or two more times. Shortly after this I went abroad for a couple ...
A. 15 January 2015: Genuinely, the issues you say you have with him are BIG, deal-breaking ones. You can't stand them, but rightfully acknowledge that you shouldn't change him either - which, to me, means only one outcome. Are you at a stage in your life where you d... (read in full...)
Flirting with my best friend's wife...should I go further?
Q. My best friend started dating this girl years ago. My gf at the time and her were bffs. My friends gf and i had this chemistry that is so lustful and exciting. We would mess around a bit and eventually it came out in the open. We admitted guilt and ...
A. 15 January 2015: What you should do here is have some respect for your friend and you should be acting like one. No decent person flirts with their friend's spouse and considers taking it further.
Either drop all contact with the woman, drop all contact with bot... (read in full...)
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