A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, there's a really good chance I'm going to be busy on my partner and my first Valentine's Day together. I applied for a job, have made it to second round interviews and if I make it through that I'm going to be inducted and working on Valentine's day. Worst thing is, it's only a short term job, about three weeks, but I am in a financial situation where I need what money I can make. My partner has told me for ages how he really wants me to keep the day free, we had things planned for the day so I now feel really terrible at the thought of telling him I'm not going to be available.What can I do? What's the best way to break this to him and make it up to him?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 February 2015):
 Aren't you making it worse than it actually is ,by any chance ?
You'll be working on Valentine's day which this year happens to fall on a Saturday, but 5 years out of 7 will fall on a weekday, so there will be a huge majority of people working on that day. What do they do to celebrate ? they meet after work, at night, for drinks or dinner etc.
Maybe you are working nights !... bur then it's the same thing - If you work nights, you will be free at daytime, you can have a Valentine breakfast or brunch or lunch or what else. Work around your schedule, pick even just one hour when you both can be free , meet somewhere and have your celebration. Even of it has to be a Valentine's day cappuccino. After all, if there's a symbolic celebration is this, what's important is the symbol not the actual entertainment chosen or the actual gift exchanged or the actual amount of time spent. Same as: of course you'd be happier if he gave you a diamond necklace or a designer outfit as a Valentine's gift, but if he has not got that kind of money , and in fact he can only afford one single rose- hopefully you'll cherish and treasure the one rose too. Not for what it's actually worth but for what it represents, what it stands for.
No way at all to get together on Saturday ?.. Ditto. Met up on Sunday, and agree to pretend that it's still the 14th. It is a new, fake, invented holiday anyway ! (said without any scoffing -it is something relatively recent and invented for commercial purposes- but I like it too anyway:): It was a cute, sweet idea ).
As for how your bf will take the disappointment...hopefully your bf is young but not stupid, he will understand that work comes before anything, before Valentine's day, Thanksgiving and the Bunny Rabbit all rolled in one, for a young, unemployed, strapped for cash person . Otherwise if he does not get that, suggest kindly that you go celebrate the day together- and he also gives you the exact amount which you would earn in these 3 weeks which you 'd be giving up for him! But after all, even that would not be a good idea, because you'd be giving up a CHANCE of further employement ( they say it is for 3 weeks only, but one never knows, if you make a good impression on your bosses, they may decide to keep you longer, or at least to call you back in future for more substitutions or fill-ins or when a position opens up ). Plus, you'd be giving up the chance to gain some work experience and to have something to add on your resume, which surely will help you in your future job hunts.
I don't think tbh that this is a concept which needs to be explained at great length to anybody over the age of 12- so if your BF chooses to sulk over a Valentine's disappointment,- well, it means you got a very romantic bf but also a selfish and immature one.
A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (11 February 2015):
 Unfortunately, a job will always be more important than a day that, quite frankly, isn't necessary. Valentine's Day is basically date night, but can be made up for when you don't have to compromise between him and work.
Just say something like "sweetie, I know we want to do x on Valentine's Day, but I need this job (if I get it) and I will have to work then" - isn't there an hour or two you can spare that day? Or would the date be a whole day thing?
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