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... Send *asquerade711 a private message | | | *asquerade711's profile:You can call me masq.
I don't have a psychology degree, but I love people, and I believe I have been through my life experiences for two reasons: a) to make me stronger; b) to help others struggling through the same things.
I specialize in relationship advice, as well as weight loss/fitness/general health and wellness. I am a registered massage therapist and a certified Reiki II practitioner, specializing in aura/energy work.
I am a wife to the kindest, gentlest, sexiest man I've ever met, a daughter to the best parents in the world, and a big sister to the greatest little sister a girl could ask for.
See you on the flip side...
masq |
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| Latest articles: How to Know You ARE Protected
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: Throughout the time I've spent here at DearCupid, I've seen many questions regarding sex, birth control, pregnancy scares, STIs, and the like. I've spent the past week doing a lot of research, and have finally come up with some things that will ...
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Could a woman please translate what she's telling me here?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 9 months and have grown to love her alot. We are opposites in some ways ( I'm a yuppie. She's a hippie) but our core values are the same. We both adore animals. We both love cooking and baking. We both see ...
A. 7 October 2009: My answer may sound a bit pessimistic, and I don't mean to, I'm just speaking from personal experience here.
An answer as vague as that one tells me that she is simply not into the relationship anymore, but feels bad telling you that, so she's us... (read in full...)
My girlfriend teases me about how small my penis is!
Q. my penis doenst erect properly it is only 4 inches while erecting my gf makes fun that it is very small in parties i cant speak out all make fun of me please give suggestion one of her friends told me why dont you use Viagra i am helpless ...
A. 23 September 2009: My advice? It's quite simple.
GET RID OF HER.
She clearly doesn't have your best interests at heart. She is making fun of something about you that should be kept private between the two of you.
That is absolutely unacceptable.
masq... (read in full...)
I'm not sure where I stand, what should I do?
Q. Recently I've gotten to know a boy really well. We did stuff that felt intimate to me whilst he still had a girlfriend. However, he recently split up with her and when i asked him if it meant anything he said "not particularly". Despite this, we...
A. 19 August 2009: The first thing that should set off alarms in your head is that he cheated on his girlfriend with you. If he did that, what's to stop him from cheating on you with someone else if you became his girlfriend?
It is very rare that a guy breaks u... (read in full...)
My boyfriend bought a 'truth' game but doesn't like to play it with me. Do you think he doesn't like to talk about his past?
Q. my boyfriend bought a truth game with his brother but doesnt want to play when i asked him. he said he doesnt like it and it gives wrong answers. but im starting to think he doesnt want me to know about something although hes answered all my bad ...
A. 19 August 2009: First of all, it's a game. I hate games. If my boyfriend bought one I would refuse to play simply because in my opinion, there are better things I can do with my time.
Second of all, just because he doesn't want to play it with you doesn't ... (read in full...)
Guys distract me way too much from my life goals...how can I stop doing this?
Q. Every semester, I always let some sweet talking guy derail me from my goals. The main reasons is that I can not really make friends at clubs because I want to transfer soon and have to stay focused. I also get extremely lonely and just allow a guy ...
A. 9 August 2009: It sounds to me like what you're craving is a balanced lifestyle, where you accomplish your goals and aspirations while also sharing your life with a special someone. I know the feeling, believe me.
The thing is, love isn't something you can real... (read in full...)
Are guys ok with oral, without it leading to sex?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks and I really like him, I am not sure how long to wait before we should start taking things further because I don't want to come across as being easy, at the moment we have just kissed. I kno there ...
A. 8 August 2009: It's different depending on the guy. In my experience (and this is just personal experience, not scientific fact, haha), oral almost always leads to sex.
My advice would be, if you're not ready to have sex with him yet, you might want to steer aw... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as a non boyfriend?
Q. hey this is a long one but i really need opinions here so please read through :) about 4 months ago months ago, one of my housemates and i started hooking up (gonna call him Tim). hes 27 and im 21. at first it was just fun making out and stuff bu...
A. 6 August 2009: Your situation has all the aspects of a relationship, minus the commitment. This entire thing is great and convenient for him, because any time he wants he can kick you to the curb without any explanation, claiming he has no ties to you because you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is late, please help!
Q. Alright listen everyone, me and my girlfriend had unprotected sex about 3 1/2 weeks ago. I thought she was on the pill and didn't wear a condom but it turns out it was a misunderstanding..she takes BC but its a ring thing that she puts in her ...
A. 2 August 2009: I don't think it really matters whose fault it is...
First of all, alternating hormonal methods of birth control can alter a girl's menstrual cycle. I'm not familiar with the ring at all, so I'm not sure what kind of effects it can have by not u... (read in full...)
I think he's still logging into his online dating profile! Help!
Q. Ok, so I've been with my boyfriend (6 months). Things are going good!! Anyways, we met online and still have our profiles up. In the beginning he had mentioned..'yeah, I should delete this profile that I hardly log into.' And as time went by I n...
A. 28 July 2009: Speaking as a person who's had quite a bit (perhaps too much) experience with online dating, one of two things could be happening here.
He very well could be lying to you, and still logging in once in awhile.
However, you said that you have a ... (read in full...)
I'm damaged goods... should I just settle for him?
Q. Ok so I hope you can take time and read this, as I dont know know who else to reach to. I am a woman in my mid twenties, I have a small child that I raise at home alone. I was married to the father of my child for four years. The relation...
A. 24 July 2009: It is never, never, EVER ok to settle for less than what you deserve. You speak of yourself as though it's your fault that you contracted an STI. Let me tell you, it's NOT YOUR FAULT. Yes, it was irresponsible to have unprotected sex, but guess ... (read in full...)
Lost in depression and can't get out
Q. I don't know whats wrong with me. It's like there is this whole in my chest and everything about me is being sucked away, a huge vaccum cleaner just aching in my chest. Everyday is monotomous and I don't really feel like anyone cares about me ...
A. 18 July 2009: You need somebody to show that they care. You need someone to just hold you while you cry. You need to find a forest or a trail or SOMEWHERE, and just run and cry and run and cry until whatever's inside of you making you depressed is gone. You need ... (read in full...)
If there was so much passion and memories, will he come back?
Q. I've been with a man now for 4 months and I've fallen in love with him, he's told me he loves me too. He had plans to go to Texas for awhile, long before we began dating, now that he's gone. Im finding myself lost for words and skeptical of our ...
A. 7 July 2009: It's really quite simple. If he loves you, he'll come back. Maybe sooner, maybe later. But he will come back.
If he doesn't come back, you have some thinking to do, and you two should definitely have a conversation or two. Keep in mind, you're o... (read in full...)
What can I do to make sure I am 'tight' for our wedding night?
Q. Eight and a bit years ago, I was 13 and raped by a stranger in a parking area. I'm now turning 22 and have not done sex any time after that. I'm engaged to a man I been with for 5 years. he knows about my being raped those many years ago and has ...
A. 19 April 2009: While I am unaware of anything you can do to ensure vaginal tightness, I can tell you that if you have not had sex in 5 years, it is highly likely that you're tight enough. Tightness varies from woman to woman and there's not really a whole lot you ... (read in full...)
Any ideas on role-playing? I want to surprise my boyfriend
Q. I need advice on this one.. Any ideas on role-playing? I want to surprise my boyfriend with something new and exciting! Keep in mind we still have to whisper..The family is in the bottom floor.;) Oh, and sis is down the hall.. But who cares.....
A. 31 March 2009: Well, since being quiet is a must, you could be just a tiny bit dominating and start off with something like, "If you make one sound, you're in trouble."
There are the classic role plays...student-teacher, doctor-patient (or nurse, whatever... (read in full...)
What's my pregnancy risk from "dry sex"?
Q. Hi... I'm with the most amazing person- we have been together for over 2 years now,but we have never had sex (I want to be a virgin until my marriage). However what we do is usually called 'dry sex' - we touch each other and let our 'bits' touch...
A. 21 March 2009: While the symptoms you're describing are quite common throughout a pregnancy, some of them are also signs of PMS. From the circumstance you described, your pregnancy risk is extremely low. If there was no penetration, it is next to impossible to ... (read in full...)
What can I do to have her in my life again?
Q. On Xmas day my Girlfriend of 2 years left me. We where living with her parents while we saved for our own place. The reasons she gave me was because it had become difficult with her family. The relationship was a good one many happy times together ...
A. 12 March 2009: Honestly? You need to start taking care of yourself first. It seems that you have based part of your existence in this girl and that's not healthy. When you get to a point of NEEDING someone in your life instead of wanting them, that can become a ... (read in full...)
We broke up because I found out he already had a g/f, now he promises me he will soon be only mine, do I take him back?
Q. please help me... im completely devastated, but im sure you get a few of us... i was seeing a guy. which i only lately found out that he had a gf of 8 yrs, and then he explained to me that he wanted to leave her but couldnt in his attempts cause she ...
A. 11 March 2009: If his girlfriend is truly threatening to kill him and then kill herself, she is a danger to him and to herself, so I can understand why he's hesitant to detach himself from her. Under normal circumstances (ie. if he couldn't leave her based on ... (read in full...)
Resentment over porn & no sex, how to get over it?
Q. I'm so angry with my boyfriend. He hasn't approached me for sex for months but I know he's yanking it to porn and men's magazines. I'm sure he doesn't have a porn addiction, more so a preference. I'm guessing self love is easier because he doesn...
A. 11 March 2009: I think a serious (but calm) conversation is in order here. If you're being angry to his face all the time I can completely understand why he wouldn't approach you. Men don't like to feel as though they're being nagged at, so if that's what's ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to justify my resentment, or should I just move on?
Q. I know I have a huge anger problem. I have had this problem since I was little. I know the cause of the problem; I just don’t know how to plan for a positive outcome. I know that a lot of my problem comes from early childhood when my mother and I ...
A. 10 March 2009: You have taken more abuse, mistreatment and CRAP from this man than anybody should have to. NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, SHOULD YOU BE REQUIRED TO TAKE ABUSE OF ANY KIND. I can't emphasize that enough. I agree with the other aunts when I say you ... (read in full...)
Is 32 years... old???
Q. Is 32 old? In people's eyes and in comparison to some still in their 20's?...
A. 27 February 2009: I don't think of 32 as old. Mind you, I'm only 20, but still! I have people in my regular circle of friends who are older than that, and they're some of the coolest "kids" I know!
masq... (read in full...)
Is the online dating a scam?
Q. I have a question about online dating. If you are against this form of dating or think it’s wrong or whatever, please don’t lecture me on that, I only want thoughts on this situation. I stumbled on eHarmony a few weeks ago by pure chance and befor...
A. 20 February 2009: I feel I'm qualified to answer this one as someone who has tried a number of online dating sites, including eHarmony. The thing with paid dating sites...I don't think they're a scam, but I do believe they're unnecessary. "Find Your Soulmate for only ... (read in full...)
I'm having sex with mother and daughter... but this can't carry on...
Q. This may sound like every man's dream but I've gotten myself in to something that I don't know how to get out of. About three months ago, I met a woman at work who is older than me. She is 46 but certainly looks good for her age. We both share an...
A. 12 February 2009: If you feel it needs to stop, then stop it. They both seem to be ok with it, so it's not like you're pitting one against the other, but if you don't feel right about it you need to tell them. And yes, cut all contact with them if you truly want this ... (read in full...)
Who should make the first move in a relationship?
Q. Why don't men make the first move for example kissing or intimate moves or do they like woman doing this? I am shy on making the first move, I like this guy he is well cute and we known each other for years and we are seeing each other a lot more...
A. 12 February 2009: The general consensus I've heard from guys about this subject is that most guys think it's incredibly sexy when girls make the first move. And it's invigorating! Empowering! You may be shy, but just take the plunge! If you know for a fact that you ... (read in full...)
I just had to hear his voice
Q. Okay, So me and and this guy broke up and and we dated for a long time and and i miss him alot and and we still talk and and say i love you but he gets mad at me alot and and i just can't take it. . .i love him so much and and i ...
A. 9 February 2009: It seems to me that you are too addicted to this guy. If you dated a long time, I can understand that it would be hard not being with him, but you simply have to allow yourself to get over him! There's nothing else to it! Everybody goes through this ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and face constant arguments with my boyfriend, help me get my head clear...
Q. First of all I am writing in to just ask for help because everyone I speak to says I need to sort it myself but I seriously don't know what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 12 months, I am 5 months pregnant and he treats me like I'm...
A. 5 February 2009: You have been given one of the greatest challenges that can be given to another human being: the challenge and privilege of raising a child. If you and your boyfriend are constantly arguing, the baby will know. It has been said that babies can sense ... (read in full...)
We are virgins and getting married soon - any advice about our first time?
Q. Hi I am getting married in a few months. We are both virgins..but I am scared. Don't know how he feels about the first time. Is it painful? If I bleed a bit will he be disgusted about it? What is the best position?...
A. 2 February 2009: The key is taking your time, and for him, being gentle. Not so gentle that you both just kind of...lie there, but gentle enough that you can adjust to any pain as you're going. Now, it's quite possible you won't feel any pain (don't count on it, but ... (read in full...)
How should an adult relate to teenagers on social networking sites?
Q. I am having a bit of a moral-social dilemma and would like your opinion on it. I am a bi woman who was born in 1982 (I am 26 now) and although I personally still feel like a 22 year old and get on well with people who are 2 or 3 years younger ...
A. 2 February 2009: I agree with Irish. Playing with fire describes it brilliantly. I would advise not to accept the request, just to keep everything above board. I'm not saying you would be capable of anything distasteful, but we hear enough stories about people who ... (read in full...)
Am I in love witha straight guy? Or is there a chance?
Q. It's taking alot of courage to write this, but basically i've recently started university, and a few months ago i began talking to this one guy on my course. He's the same age as me and we have similar interests. Since then i've grown to be his ...
A. 2 February 2009: Well, if you guys are friends, I'd say honesty is the best policy. If he's any kind of friend, he won't care if you're gay, even if he doesn't share your feelings and/or sexuality. The best thing to do would probably be to just get out that ... (read in full...)
How do I move in to make out with her?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 8 months now. There is a long story behind why I know this but I am absolutely 100% sure she is ok with me making out with her. How do I move in to make out with her and how do I actually do it? Also, ...
A. 1 February 2009: If there is ONE tip I have for you, it's this. Try not to swallow her face. That may sound funny but if you're too anxious (and the Frenching gets a little intense), there's a tendency to...well, I'm sure you know what I mean.
My only advice w... (read in full...)
Yesterday the girl I've been crushing on since I met broke up with her boyfriened. Is it to soon to ask her to go on a date?
Q. Hi. Well today my girlfriend just broke up with me. Yesterday the girl I've been crushing on since I met broke up with her boyfriened. Is it to soon to ask her to go on a date?...
A. 1 February 2009: I agree with Irish. You don't want to establish a "player" reputation for yourself. Wait it out for a few days, even a few weeks, then have a talk with her and see how she feels.
Good luck!
masq... (read in full...)
So what do you say to this situation?
Q. Hi everybody, I'm just writing this to get an idea of peoples reaction to this situation. I see someone most days I go to work and we have a little chat going. I find her very attractive, lovely smile and pretty eyes and she is different...
A. 30 January 2009: I admire your attitude of nothing ventured, nothing gained. There are a few guys in my workplace that I have a good friendship with who are close to your age, however I probably wouldn't date any of them. My father is almost 47, so to date anyone ... (read in full...)
Should I accept the fate of my 3 week marriage?
Q. HI everyone, this is gonna be kind of long and hopefully that doesn't lose your interest. I have been with my husband for 4 years, but we just recently got married jan 10(this year) He used to be different, I don't even know who im with anymore, he ...
A. 30 January 2009: While I don't pretend to be an expert on marriage, I do know your husband should adore you just as much now as he did before you got married.
If you feel that you deserve better and are VERY unhappy with your husband, then leave. Or at least tr... (read in full...)
I think he's ready for sex but I'm a virgin and not sure I'm ready!
Q. im kinda nervous about this but i need to know.My boyfriend may be ready to have sex,and hes told me he has before.Im still a virgin and I was wondering if i should or not.Ive heard its gonna hurt really bad and i hate pain but im not sure.Any ...
A. 30 January 2009: Sweetie, if you're unsure, you should wait. A decision like this has to be something that you're 200% certain of. If he's any kind of guy, he'll wait until you're ready. :)
masq... (read in full...)
He's more like a little kid than my boyfriend
Q. I'm really confused. My boyfriend never seems to say the right thing with me. Whenever were doing sexual things etc. He always says the wrong thing and ends up putting me off. Then he never really seems interested in me. Like, I want to have sex...
A. 29 January 2009: First of all, if he's close to your age, keep in mind that guys mature slower (WAY slower) than girls most of the time, so that could be part of the problem.
I had this problem with my ex awhile back...except he was 21. He was uneducated, unmotiva... (read in full...)
I want to be happy and outgoing, independent and confident but I'm not. My heart is breaking and I just don't know what to do?
Q. I've been with my other half for 5 years and he is the love of my life, but we are having a really rough time. Like any couple we have had our ups and downs, we met over the internet and when we met I was always honest with him telling him that I ...
A. 29 January 2009: Well, whether he wants to have a talk or not, it sounds like one is in order. It's not fair that you have to keep wondering what he's thinking/feeling, or that you have to go through your illness without his support. The two of you definitely need ... (read in full...)
Sex for the first time.... but I've taken my period!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have never had sex before, and this Saturday was going to be our first time. The only problem is today I have started my period (this morning) and we were planning to have sex either late saturday night or the early hours of...
A. 29 January 2009: I would advise, if you are on your period, save sex for a later date. I know you're probably very excited and anxious, but yes, it will be messy, even if you're in the light stage. Your first time is going to be stressful enough without having to ... (read in full...)
I want us to break up so I can continue seeing the other guy and seek out new relationships.
Q. Well, I cheated on my boyfriend of a year with another guy. Now I feel like I want us to break up so I can continue seeing the other guy and seek out new relationships... do you have any advice as to how to break it off with him? I know there is no ...
A. 29 January 2009: There's no way around it, he's going to get hurt. You should at least have the decency to do it in person. I've done phone/Internet breakups before and it makes you feel even more rotten than you're already feeling. Don't apologize all over yourself ... (read in full...)
How do you forget someone that you feel you owe everything to?
Q. How do you forget someone you feel like you owe everything to? My ex-boyfriend had been there for me through my best friends death and some rough times with my family. I ended our 2 year relationship when he started abusing cocaine and heroin after ...
A. 29 January 2009: As in love as you are, you can't live with a situation like that between you. It's always hard to see someone you love go through something like this. Only you can know how you feel right now. It's not for any of us to tell you to get back together ... (read in full...)
Is she lying to me about her virginity?
Q. My girlfriend is 23 and claims to be a virgin. The first time we had sex, she neither felt pain nor bled as I expected. How can I know if she was telling the truth?...
A. 29 January 2009: If she did lie, it could be that she's ashamed of her past and doesn't want to screw things up for herself. But that's not necessarily the case. As previously stated, not all girls feel pain during their first time. It could be she's just one of ... (read in full...)
My g/f of 5 years wants to see what else is out there!
Q. Hey everyone, So I'm currently in a 5 year relationship and me and my girlfriend have been having some problems. Last night she told me that she loves me to death and cares for me yet maybe wants to see what else is out there. We are high school ...
A. 28 January 2009: To be honest, it sounds like she's getting bored. If her feelings are what they say they are, why in the world would she need to see what else is out there? Putting myself in her shoes, if I had a boyfriend of 5 years, I would either be more in love ... (read in full...)
Can we get into trouble if we were to date?
Q. Hi folks, I suppose I really just wanted some advice. I'm 19 and in my first year at university. Since I started in september, I've begun to get quite close to one of my lecturers - he's in his first lecturing job, only mid twenties and absolutely ...
A. 28 January 2009: As Flynn 24 said, he could possible lose his job over it. If you really care for him you may want to wait until he's no longer your lecturer, to spare his reputation.
masq... (read in full...)
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