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... Send *asquerade711 a private message | | | *asquerade711's profile:You can call me masq.
I don't have a psychology degree, but I love people, and I believe I have been through my life experiences for two reasons: a) to make me stronger; b) to help others struggling through the same things.
I specialize in relationship advice, as well as weight loss/fitness/general health and wellness. I am a registered massage therapist and a certified Reiki II practitioner, specializing in aura/energy work.
I am a wife to the kindest, gentlest, sexiest man I've ever met, a daughter to the best parents in the world, and a big sister to the greatest little sister a girl could ask for.
See you on the flip side...
masq |
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| Latest articles: How to Know You ARE Protected
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: Throughout the time I've spent here at DearCupid, I've seen many questions regarding sex, birth control, pregnancy scares, STIs, and the like. I've spent the past week doing a lot of research, and have finally come up with some things that will ...
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Can we get into trouble if we were to date?
Q. Hi folks, I suppose I really just wanted some advice. I'm 19 and in my first year at university. Since I started in september, I've begun to get quite close to one of my lecturers - he's in his first lecturing job, only mid twenties and absolutely ...
A. 28 January 2009: As Flynn 24 said, he could possible lose his job over it. If you really care for him you may want to wait until he's no longer your lecturer, to spare his reputation.
masq... (read in full...)
Extra skin "there" is it normal?
Q. Hi, I've recently noticed that theres quite a bit of extra skin around my vagina. If i try to put my finger up my vagina i can feel flesh around the opening that sometimes slightly blocks it. Is this normal??? Will it make things difficult having s...
A. 28 January 2009: Every girl is different. Sex for the first time is always going to be slightly painful, no matter what, but I wouldn't think it will make things difficult. Some girls have extra skin, some don't. But there's nothing abnormal about it. :)
masq... (read in full...)
Help needed... I'm so screwed up at the moment I feel exhausted.
Q. Ok me and my ex split in october just gone, he dumped me to go back with the mother of his daughter, anyway that didn't work out, and we started sleeping together like once a week, as like fuck buddies. We still remain friends but, he's now ...
A. 27 January 2009: In all honesty, this guy sounds like a sleaze. I can understand that you still have feelings for him, but my question is why do you continue to have these feelings? He's treating you like dirt, and you're giving yourself to someone who could really ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's dad is behaving very strangely!
Q. I'm sure one of my friend's dad fancies another one of my friends. She is 16 and he is 59. Do you think it is normal that a man of his age would say to his daughter he will unground her if her 16 year old girl gives him a hug? Also when is planning ...
A. 27 January 2009: That is definitely not normal. Actually, it's entirely inappropriate. My advice would be to talk to one of YOUR parents about this first. If you're concerned for your friend's safety, you could always try to stay close to her just to ensure that ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my g/f but its killing me!
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend and it is killing me but i dont let it show. I didnt want to but i felt like god told me to, and i did. I have suspicions on her cheating on me but ill never know, im hurt by all this, i am sure its for the best. She ...
A. 27 January 2009: I know exactly how you feel. I went through the same thing with my ex not too long ago and it really hurts. If you felt it was what you needed to do then you can't second guess yourself. Only you know what is best for you, and clearly this was good ... (read in full...)
Every time my teacher smiles my heart skips a beat
Q. i love my teacher, i know what your thinking, but this is seriously the real thing. He is double my age, im 14, and when i'm at school i go out of my way to see him. Everytime he smiles at me my heart skips a beat. He flirts and he told me i was his ...
A. 27 January 2009: You probably already know this, but having a relationship with him would be illegal in more ways than one. Not only is he your teacher, but if he's double your age it would also be statutory rape. I know guys your age are incredibly immature, but ... (read in full...)
Is there any way that I can prevent myself from falling for him again?
Q. I've always been the type of girl to fall for a guy pretty easily. The thing is, recently I have been hooking up with one of my best guy friends, who also happens to be my ex who I was in love with. I know that he really liked me, but he never truly ...
A. 27 January 2009: This will take some mental willpower on your part. If he's a good friend to you and you don't want to lose him, I wouldn't try immediately to cut him out of your life. While you're with him, you need to be careful and always keep in the front of ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but I like his best mate too!
Q. Please help! I have a boyfriend, and i love him dearly, but the thing is, i sort of have feelings for his best mate, it weird though because i liked his mate way before i got with my boyfriend. we will call my boyfriend B and his mate D. Well as ...
A. 23 January 2009: In a nutshell, if you want your relationship with your boyfriend to last, do NOT start going after his best friend. That is the ultimate betrayal. If you know you're never going to be with "D", then why are you even entertaining the thought of ... (read in full...)
I'm into my girlfriends sister!
Q. me and my girlfriend aren't working out i find her less and less worth seeing everyday, but now i'm into her sister who is just amazing i want to be with her so bad any help with what i should do here?????...
A. 6 November 2008: My sister and I are incredibly close, and I would never stab her in the back like this. So if she has any standards at all, she won't go near you. Sorry.
masq... (read in full...)
We hung out, made out, now he won't talk to me , what's going on?
Q. tuesday i went out with this guy that i have been texting but never met till that day. well i went to his brother and girlfriends place, because he was crashing over there till he got his own place. when i went over there they had another friend and ...
A. 3 November 2008: I agree with icelordess. This guy sounds like a Class A loser, and a jerk to boot. If he was REALLY interested in a relationship or something to that effect, he would be returning your calls. Granted, it could just be that he's embarrassed or shy to ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering..what are the chances that I am pregnant?
Q. SLIGHT PROBLEM! Opinions welcome. My period is a little over a week late. I've done 2 pregnancy tests and followed the directions precisely. They both came up negative. I've had some spotting for the past few days but have had no other pregnancy ...
A. 30 October 2008: Thanks for the advice.
Turns out I'm not pregnant, I just have a really messed up cycle. *huge sigh of relief*... (read in full...)
My brother has so much porn on his PC I was shocked!
Q. Hello, so I've just had the shock of my life, this is how it starts I'm 14 and my computer for some reason today started playing up saying stuff about antivirus and doing weird stuff, so i knew it needed to be fixed, i'm really good with compute...
A. 28 October 2008: I know you feel disgusted right now, but are you disgusted at the porn itself, or the fact that your brother's looking at it?
When you get older you won't see this as such a big deal. Try not to overreact. :)
masq... (read in full...)
What is happening to me, why am I getting so stressed?
Q. Right, so I'm sixteen. I used to be boys 24/7, and when I was fourteen, I watched lesbian porn with my boyfriend. I know, you'll say "underage" and stuff, but just don't. But, the lesbian porn REALLY turned me on. I used to get off to thinking abou...
A. 27 October 2008: The dictionary definition of lesbian is "a woman whose sexual orientation is to women". You say that the only thing turning you on is lesbian porn, but not real women, so I highly doubt you're a lesbian. Fantasizing and real life are completely ... (read in full...)
I recently found out my cheated on my 10 years ago. My love for her has now completely gone.
Q. I found out recently that 10 years ago, my now wife had a drunken one night fling with a co-worker. She was drinking a lot and for some crazy reason thought that I wasn't in love with her any more. She did the classic 'after it happened, I realized ...
A. 21 October 2008: It is possible for someone to fall out of love, cheat, and then realize they never really did fall out of love in the first place. I'm not excusing what she did, because it was despicable, but she is owning up to it, and she did stay with you.
... (read in full...)
I'm still tormented after being sexually abused as a child 7 years ago...
Q. As a child I was sexually abused. It started from the age of 12 I think and what happened to me as a child has most definitely affected me as an adult. I find it difficult to make friends and find it hard to talk to people. I don't really know if ...
A. 21 October 2008: You do need guidance, but not really from any of us. What you have been through has obviously traumatized you, and what you need is counselling and help from a trained professional. Most of us at DearCupid do not hold a psychology degree, but I'm ... (read in full...)
Do you think I'm doing anything wrong?
Q. Hi me and my husband got into it last night. I just recently got a facebook account. I mainly got it to keep in touch with long distance family since i moved out of town. However i saw a lot of people from my old middle and high school and i ...
A. 20 October 2008: It sounds like your husband is being completely unreasonable. The fact is, just because you've added someone as a friend on Facebook does not mean you're going to be talking and messaging constantly. I've added people on Facebook that I hardly ev... (read in full...)
He's only in love with me when he's drunk!!!
Q. my boyfriend drinks a lot. he used to be really nice, but now he's only in love with me when he's drunk. he's only a sweetie when he's drunk. he only wants to do sexual things when he's drunk. he'll only talk to me about personal things when he's ...
A. 14 October 2008: Loving a person only when they're drunk is NOT the same as loving the real "them". People are completely different when they're drunk, myself included. Bottom line: Do you really want to be with someone who has to be drunk to express his love... (read in full...)
My friend is putting doubts in my head...
Q. Well my boyfriend and I dont go to the same school, so I only see him 2-3 days a week (usually friday, saturday and sunday) During the school week (mon-thur) it seems like we're so busy that we barely talk (we talk about 1-2 days between mon-thurs) ...
A. 14 October 2008: Don't let your friend and her opinions get in the way of something amazing. It's not uncommon to go a couple of days in the week without seeing him. You're both leading busy lives and this is good! My boyfriend and I don't see each other every day, ... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 8 October 2008: I am 99% sure that she misses you. Girls will very rarely "groom" guys into being friends. We don't work that way. :)
Send me a message if you need to talk.
masq... (read in full...)
My aunt tells me that I should wait a year or so to have sex because she said the older you wait to have sex the better it will be for you.
Q. hi, I'm a virgin and I'm 18. I really do want to have sex but I take my virginity a lot serious. My aunt tells me that I should wait a year or so to have sex because she said the older you wait to have sex the better it will be for you. Do you ...
A. 8 October 2008: I would say the older you are, the better decision you can make for yourself. It also depends on who your partner would be. A boyfriend? How long have you been dating?
I would not suggest that your first time be with some random guy whose name you... (read in full...)
My ex and I still think about each other but I am planning marriage with another, when in reality I dislike this new relationship and wish I were single! What can I do?
Q. Hi ill get straight to the point! ive been very silly full stop. I was in a rocky relationship with my ex of four years on and off our problems were only caused to me basically acting like a little girl and causing arguments for the sake of it and ...
A. 7 October 2008: Basically, you need to make up your mind and FAST. This new guy you're with is obviously very much into the relationship if he asked you to marry him. But honestly, if you don't love him, why are you marrying him? If you go through with this wedding ... (read in full...)
Do breasts look better pushed together or separated by a bra?
Q. I my bra size is 30G and when I wear a bra my breasts are pushed together into a 2 inch cleavage line (most of which I do not normally reveal as I am not a HUGE fan of overly low cut tops). However when I am not wearing a bra my breasts fall out...
A. 7 October 2008: Who cares about society? It's all about your own comfort and what makes you feel beautiful!
Since you are of a bigger size, I would suggest a type of bra that lifts and seperates. (I used to work in a lingerie store so you're getting a qualifie... (read in full...)
Will she ever give me a second chance after something like this?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago and it absolutely broke my heart. We had been dating for two years and she decided to end it about a week after our two year anniversary. I have taken this hard and she has given me reasons for why ...
A. 3 October 2008: This will sound cliché, but I truly do believe that love conquers all. Right now it may seem slightly hopeless to you, but I would advise that you focus on your therapy and on your personal issues. Above all, try to improve for your own reasons and ... (read in full...)
I love her so much, but all we ever do is fight or have sex. We plan on marrying. Do we really have a chance?
Q. There are a few points about my relationship that would help you understand my position. - i've known this girl since my 6th grade. we had a mutual crush when we were in 8th and then we just drifted apart but we maintained contacts. - when i enter...
A. 3 October 2008: To me, you sound confused. Your emotions are all over the map. You want to marry her, but you think it won't work. You hate her ego, but you love her, etc. etc. etc.
There is no "but" in love. If you're saying, "I love her, but..." then maybe yo... (read in full...)
Should I do myself up even more to be good enough for him? And change my personality?
Q. so my boyfriend broke up with me a couple days ago.. and i'm still not over it. we went out for about a week but i really liked him. usually it wouldn't bother me like this but i guess i really do like him. i guess i wasn't good enough for him. he's ...
A. 2 October 2008: Being someone other than yourself is absolutely exhausting. It's much, MUCH easier to be yourself. Plus, if you changed for him and he took you back, you would only end up resenting him down the line for "making" you change. It just wouldn't go well ... (read in full...)
Do I give in to his threesome request or let him go?
Q. My boyfrend and I have been together for 6 months now. He is recently divorced. He left his wife because of several reasons but one of which was the lack of sex. He says our relationship is not based on sex, and yet he said if ever I start not ...
A. 2 October 2008: This guy sounds like a total sex fiend, and a jerk on top of that. If he honestly told you he would leave if you stopped wanting sex all the time, I would say no, he's not worth staying with. The fact that you even asked that question tells me that ... (read in full...)
I need help! She's driving me insane....
Q. Im 16 years old, and ive just started seein this girl since sunday, the thing is we have always had a soft spot for each other but nothing really came of it, until sunday when i went to see her. So anyway sunday went great got along with her b...
A. 2 October 2008: Believe it or not, girls find it just as annoying when a clingy guy steps into our life. I'm not saying you're being clingy because it doesn't sound that way, but perhaps things are moving too fast for her.
The only way to know for sure is to si... (read in full...)
How should I go about this FWB arrangement?
Q. So me and a friend are talking about messing around. I guess you could call it a friends with benefits thing. (no sex though). and well, i've made out a couple of times but only with one guy. Well my friend (the one that may become a 'friend with ...
A. 2 October 2008: I have to say, I'm really torn with how to answer this question. Part of me wants to advise against doing the FWB thing, but that's not the question you asked and it's really none of my business. So I'll answer your question. :)
Spicing it up re... (read in full...)
He forced me to have sex with him and I feel such a wreck about that. But I love him and don't want to break up with him!
Q. Well I have a boyfriend And I have been with him for 1 week. And The other Night , I was at his house and He kinda pressured me to have Sex with Him. Im 14 years old and I wasnt ready but He Forced me to do it. I dont feel right now and Im emotional ...
A. 5 May 2008: Oh sweetie.
First of all, it is never, ever, ever, EVER in a million years ok for someone to force you to do something that you don't want to do. Do not EVER let someone (especially a guy) make you feel like less of a person because you have pri... (read in full...)
Our communication is not as intense as it was at first, 'honeymoon period' over or something deeper?
Q. Hello everyone. Just wondering if I could get a few opinions from some of you. My boyfriend and I have been hitting a little bit of a rough patch lately. When we first started dating, we saw each other very often, text messaged every day, numer...
A. 1 April 2008: Well, thank you, everyone, for the great advice. Unfortunately, we have split up. Needless to say, I'm wrecked, but I will heal.... (read in full...)
Looking for help, I want my ex back but don't know what to do and how to understand her choices?
Q. Hi, i was dating a girl for almost a year and a half and then all of a sudden she broke up with me... I was super devastated and still am since I still love her a lot. I wanna be with her still but she doesn't really wanna see me no more. I asked ...
A. 23 March 2008: I'm going to be blunt. But please understand I'm not trying to be heartless or rude, ok? You are still so deeply into this girl that you're not seeing what's going on. It sounds to me like she got bored. Believe it or not, some girls are like t... (read in full...)
Had unprotected sex...now I am late...could I be pregant??
Q. hi all, I need some advice. I had sex with my bf on thurs nite and it was unprotected stupid i know but i was due on my period yesterday and it hasn't come i'm normally bang on time. Could i be pregnant?...
A. 23 March 2008: The most regular girl in the world has the odd cycle when she's late. Actually, the more you stress about being late, the later your period could be. This has happened to me before. I did have unprotected sex once and I was quite worried about pr... (read in full...)
I think I've fallen in love, could it be forever although I've never met him?!
Q. I love my boyfriend sooooo much . I've never loved anybody more in my life . He's so sweet and always knows exactly what to say and when to say it . He makes me feel special and wanted. We both like a lot of the same things and talk to each other ...
A. 23 March 2008: I actually have a bit of experience in this area, so I'm hoping I can say something helpful. :) I met my boyfriend through an Internet dating site, and honestly, I knew I loved him before we'd actually met in person. HOWEVER, the clincher was whe... (read in full...)
How can I tell when a woman is sexually aroused?
Q. I have a question about arousal. How can I tell when a woman is sexually aroused? Is this something that you can tell when a woman is fully clothed or is this only noted when she is in the nude? At this point is she ready for intercourse or is ...
A. 20 February 2008: I would have to agree, it's probably male instinct. (Although I'm not a guy so this is all just a guess on my part.) Every woman is different. Some will moan or wimper when they're aroused, some will full on yell or scream or just be loud in ... (read in full...)
We work together, we both had babies on the way. I think we are falling for each other, help!
Q. I am falling for a girl that I work with and I am not sure how to handle the situation. We started working at this place at the same time and went though training together, at first we were both seriously involved with other people and both had a ...
A. 16 January 2008: First of all, relationships with co-workers can be a tricky thing. If it goes sour, you have to be prepared to see them at work every day and possibly relive the breakup pain every day. So there's that.
Second of all, I'm sorry to hear about your... (read in full...)
Will my jealousy ruin my relationship?
Q. I am an extremely jealous person, I'll admit it. I have been dating my boyfriend for a while now and I got a "great" idea to get him a dog for Valentine's Day. Now, he is already talking about all of the time he's going to spend with it and I'm ...
A. 16 January 2008: Oh sweetie...
You're jealous of a dog?
Come on now, is that really rational? I don't want to seem judgmental, but that dog is not going to replace you. I love my dog to bits. I love playing with him and spending time with him, but he definite... (read in full...)
I can't stop crying as he doesn't want to go out with me any more.
Q. Basically,, Me and my ex where together for just over a year, we're only 15 but we were in love. I don't care if people say we were too young becasue we weren't! We were talking about having sex, but we both took it very seriously and decided to ...
A. 22 November 2007: Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear you're hurting like this. :( Please know that I'm praying for you.
Breaking up is always difficult, especially when you can't figure out why it happened. I hate to say it, but guys your age are perpetually immature... (read in full...)
He seems to get alog better with his female friend than with me.
Q. my bf has gone to uni and is living in accommodation. we have been going out for 2 years and a half so it's a bit of a struggle. the thing is there's a girl in his halls that really fancies him! he said he gets along with her really well (this wa...
A. 16 October 2007: I have to speak up and be devil's advocate here.
I've been the "female friend" before. I can honestly say that I had no sexual attraction to him whatsoever, we were just very close friends and we shared a very special bond. HOWEVER, both of us kn... (read in full...)
Sufficating my boyfriend.....
Q. I have a slight problem... I've recently been getting to know this guy, who I'm really falling for big time! He's always complimenting me, and is just the sweetest thing =] but I've always had the problem in relationships that I become really cli...
A. 16 October 2007: I agree with all of these answers, it just sounds like insecurity to me. Guys like to work for what they want...some don't, but a lot of them enjoy a challenge. Don't be so distant that they think you've lost interest, just distant enough that they ... (read in full...)
I have a sexual relation with my... half brother. Is it wrong, since it doesn't hurt anybody, or should I stop it right away? It's pure lust and we both pursue other relations...
Q. Somebody please help me, I have a big problem and there is nobody else I can talk to about it. Im very embarrased talking about and i know i will probably be judged.i guess i wouldnt blame anyone for judging me. Anyway, its a long story so here ...
A. 4 October 2007: I wouldn't say you're a sick person...maybe a little confused?
Obviously, the fact that you're asking if it's wrong should send off some warning bells in your head. Trust your instincts, my dear. If your head is telling you that it's wrong, then... (read in full...)
My dad is having an affair with my best mate!
Q. I'm a 17-year-old student in college here in England, I have a good social life and friends. I am satisfied with my life, doing well in my studies. However, a recent incident has made me upset and made me question whether my best friend really is...
A. 4 October 2007: Wow, this is quite the situation. I'm not sure I even know what to say.
First of all, I'm sorry that this happened to you. Finding out that a parent is cheating is hard on their kids regardless of who it's with, but when it's with your best frie... (read in full...)
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