A
female
age
41-50,
*myrechel
writes:HI everyone, this is gonna be kind of long and hopefully that doesn't lose your interest. I have been with my husband for 4 years, but we just recently got married jan 10(this year) He used to be different, I don't even know who im with anymore, he never has given me a flower, always just watching sports.. last may i broke up with him on account of me being uphappy. I really tried for my daughter, but the more i tried the more he pushed away. During our breakup, he would write me love letters, ask me if I needed any money, call me all the time. He wrote me this one letter, saying about that quote if you love something then let it go, and if it comes back its yours forever, well he put at the end of the quote.. he put he won't let go, and that he loves me and knows he can't let go, anyhow, I got back with him in july, silly me... It was beautiful at first but.. he doesn't know how to make me feel good, I am afraid now he's comfortable... we dont' even sleep in the same bed cause we watch seperate T.V. shows at night and theres no compromise on watching tv together. im 27 years old, theres no flame in my 3 week marriage, none. NO flowers ever, few hugs, Sex maybe once a month if im lucky.. I don't want to feel this way, I know kids have a way of changing people but, god he's a shrew with any kind of affection. I get a peck here and there before he goes to work, I'm confused on what to do, I should be in the prime of my life but instead I'm here writing about this on dear cupid.. Some say he won't change, theres good times with him, He's stable, good father, pays the bills.. should I accept that if I stay with him life won't be any different?? or is there hope?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, amyrechel +, writes (2 April 2009):
amyrechel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wanted to let everyone know that... My husband that I wrote about on here did not even appear when I was time for me to go to court for full custody of my children.. My two boys are not his and he was one of my witnesses, he claimed he had the craps for those few hours of my court hearing.. I am leaving him over this, He promised to be there...... I just wanted to let everyone know of my update.. thank you
A
female
reader, amyrechel +, writes (6 February 2009):
amyrechel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthings are better everyone, its working out slowly. it takes two.. thanks everyone for you answers... its sometimes nice to get different outlooks from people that are from all over the world.
thank you
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 Was he romantic when he was courting you? Perhaps he thinks that romance is no longer needed once you two got married? It is not unknown, partners forgetting that you have to court your lover for your whole life. Not that that is right, if you are in love you should want to court him/her your whole life.
girls no longer get flowers once the wedding has happened and guys no longer get blowjobs.
Talk with him about it, maybe he just doesn't realise that you ain't just the mother of his child. What was the relationship between his parents like? Monkey see, monkey do after all.
If he was different when you were dating then maybe he just thinks the that is in the past.
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A
female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 While I don't pretend to be an expert on marriage, I do know your husband should adore you just as much now as he did before you got married.
If you feel that you deserve better and are VERY unhappy with your husband, then leave. Or at least try to talk to him about it. If you're ok with a "dead" marriage (for lack of a better term), then stay.
Best of luck.
masq
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): If you want to be with him, then stay with him. But...if you do choose to stay with him, let him know that you're not happy. Some guys just won't be as romantic as others. My last boyfriend spoiled me rotten in the first year, but the guy I am with now won't do anything unless I tell him what to do. So, I know how you feel. You might just decide to live with it. Sleeping in the same bed is important though, so maybe work towards some compromises...he can watch his show on certain days and you can watch yours on others. I would consider marriage counseling if you do want to stay together. If not, you can have marriages annulled during the first six months in most states (much easier than a divorce). I would do so if you don't foresee the relationship lasting. It would be much easier to make the change now than to get divorced ten years from now.
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