| Latest articles: Do We Have a Distorted Sense of What Love Really Is?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2011: So I just wanted to say something about some of the myths and sayings about love and relationships that we hear all the time. Things like: - you'll know it when you feel it - when it's right, it's easy - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to f...
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Will a time ever come where I can accept what happened and move on with my boyfriend?
Q. Hi all, Ever since I aborted my unplanned pregnancy, I have felt such a great deal of guilt and sadness. I know this is to be expected but the feeling of resent and anger is becoming too much to handle. My boyfriend hurt me so much during...
A. 29 October 2012: I had an abortion a couple of years ago. My boyfriend and I had been going out for about 1 year and weren't really in the best place to have a baby. I knew that, but part of me still wanted to keep it. I knew my boyfriend didn't agree. He wanted to ... (read in full...)
After 5 years he's still putting off us moving in together. Is this relationship going anywhere?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and we are both 24 years old. We get on well most of the time and love each other a lot. I have my own house but he still lives at home with his mum. I'm getting to a point in my life where i am ...
A. 26 October 2012: 5 years is a long time - it's more than enough time for him to figure out whether he wants to marry you and have a family with you or not. But he can't even take the next step of moving in together with you. If he has been this hesitant/avoidant of ... (read in full...)
Do we go ahead and get engaged and married after four years of an on off relationship or do we go our separate ways?!
Q. Do we go ahead and get engaged and married after four years of an on off relationship or do we go our separate ways?! Hi, I ve posted on this website before and I ve found the answere really helpful so I am hoping for some advice please. Basically...
A. 18 October 2012: I definitely say you go your separate ways, and as soon as possible. This girl has been toying with your heart for the past 4 years, not being serious about working things out with you, but being selfish enough to keep coming back to mess with your ... (read in full...)
Does the love for a previous partner fade away in time, or is there always something there?
Q. This question is directed mainly at the guys, but ladies please feel free to answer too :) My current boyfriend is my first for everything, and hopefully he'll be my last! We're a long distance couple, have been together for two years now and I ...
A. 28 September 2012: Yup, the feelings really do fade away. I'm friends with one of my exes and my husband and I hang out with him. There are no feelings left there other than friendship. Even the thought of something intimate seems wrong/uncomfortable/weird because ... (read in full...)
He betrayed me,now I don't know how handle the situation
Q. Hello everyone, I am facing a situation that i don't know how to handle. I love my boyfriend and i believe he loves me too,we have been together for 2 years. 2 weeks ago ,we had plans, we were going to spend the day together,however...
A. 17 September 2012: I feel like just based on these facts it's hard to say that your boyfriend does not prioritize you. It could very well be that he simply did not think things through properly and made a few mistakes.
Mistake #1 was that he did not properly... (read in full...)
I am a morning person, who will be working a part time overnight job. How can I cope with this?
Q. I'm not really sure where to post this question online but I've been around this site plenty, so I figured you guys can help. It's mainly health and sleeping pattern related. It could indirectly be related to how it will effect my relationships with ...
A. 6 July 2012: I'm a student nurse doing 2 days and 2 nights and I thought that the nights would be really hard, but it's not quite as bad as I thought. It does feel very strange - make sure to nap during the day before your first night shift. And drink a lot of ... (read in full...)
Looking at live people online having sex is wrong, but seeing naked girls dance and grind on men is ok?
Q. Ok, So I was on here yesterday and saw a question about a girl who's boyfriend was looking at online porn chat shows. Almost everyone replied and said that he was wrong and that isn't appropriate in a relationship; that he was taking it a step too ...
A. 31 May 2012: Depending on the context, I would say both could be wrong, especially if the person is going to strip clubs often and behind the wife's back. However, generally, I would find that the occasional strip club venture might be less bad partly for the ... (read in full...)
Can I hear from some women whose husband are either in the military or they are fireman?
Q. I need advice from ladies whose boyfriends or husbands are in the army! My boyfriend is considering a career either in the army or as a fireman although I think he would prefer the former. While I am supportive of whatever choice he makes, I can't ...
A. 23 May 2012: I'm married to a man in the military. We've been together for over 3 years now. And it can be difficult. Sometimes he's away for work for a few weeks, a few months at a time. He hasn't been deployed yet, but I'm expecting that he will be at some ... (read in full...)
Can a man become friends with a woman while already being in a relationship?
Q. This is probably a very common question but i'd like to get some answers from both girls and guys perspective. I've been with my bf for 8 months. He's very outgoing, chatty and charming and he loves to meet new people. He happens to be attractive as ...
A. 15 May 2012: I say that it is rare and difficult for a man and woman to be friends with no risk/threat of anything more. Either at one point or another, one of them has been attracted to or had feelings for the other. It's more likely that they can be friends ... (read in full...)
Are women losing their skills in "traditional" roles?
Q. Are women losing skills in roles they traditionally did like cooking and housekeeping? If so, what skills are they gaining instead? Let me first say that I love my wife, but I was shocked at how little she is able to do. She is an excellent ...
A. 13 April 2012: I agree with some of the other posters who are saying that this is happening with men too. I sort of expected/hoped that I would find a man that could:
- tinker with the car (fix it, do own oil changes + tire changes, etc)
- house renovati... (read in full...)
Is it bad to tell a white lie to avoid fighting?
Q. I hate DRAMA!!! I would always fight with my ex because we always wanted to be right!!! so eventually I smartened up and realized it really doesnt matter and gave in to an argument to not fight. Im currently dating a girl and doing the same thing. I ...
A. 10 April 2012: If you lie about these small things in order to avoid fights, in the end it will just bite you in the butt. Because she will find out about this sometime. One day she will talk to one of your friends, and they will let it slip or you will yourself ... (read in full...)
Why did my married collegue keep taking off his wedding ring at lunch?
Q. Hi ! I just had a business lunch with a male colleague. During the entire time, he kept taking his wedding band on and off and twisting it too. It was not very subtle and a little distracting. What does this mean?...
A. 29 March 2012: I know some people that are fidgety and will do that to keep their hands busy, often without even realizing it. Especially if it's loose, my husband will fiddle with it, maybe partly as reassurance that it's still there. I don't think it means much ... (read in full...)
I feel like an outsider after our discussion about wills and money!
Q. HI guys. I have posted questions on here before and had some really good advice so hope you can help. To cut a long story short, I have been with my partner almost four years and we are reasonably happy. It started out long distant but i mo...
A. 29 February 2012: I have been wondering about this as well, as my husband's parents are both remarried and each spouse has children from outside the marriage, the same as your situation, except that you are not married. You have your own children, and he has his own ... (read in full...)
I want to break up with her, but I've never given her any indication that I have been unhappy. How do I approach this?
Q. Hello agony aunts, I'm in a bit of a bind. I've been dating a girl for a year now and everything has been going pretty well.... from her perspective. When we started dating I noticed she was incredibly quiet. I'm a very talkative person, so ...
A. 21 February 2012: From being on the receiving end of this kind of breakup, there is nothing you can really do to be careful about it, unless you want to prolong the relationship and actually give it a chance. From my experience, I felt confused, betrayed, lied to, ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about gettin waxed down there
Q. I'd like to get my hair " down there " waxed lol, but i'm too embarassed about a stranger seeing my private parts, and how much hair there is there lol. I'm also worried about it hurting. How can i feel more comfortable about having it done ?. Also, ...
A. 27 January 2012: I recently got waxed for the first time and was terrified! But it turned out to not be nearly as painful as I had first expected. Parts of it did hurt, but it was quick pain and faded quickly. If you do have a lot of hair, trim it shorter, that will ... (read in full...)
I'm sad I had my baby and now he's just going to get bigger! Has anyone felt this way?
Q. Hello everyone. this is my question. i just had a baby 3 days ago, and, well instead of having post partum depression, im having quite the opposite. It seems im sad now because hes out of my tummy and is only going to get bigger from here on out :( ...
A. 13 January 2012: I agree, this does sound like post partum depression. But it also sounds like how parents are sad about how quickly their children will grow up. When you are sad about this, try to think about what wouldn't happen if your baby didn't grow bigger. ... (read in full...)
Getting frustrated with his lack of proposal.....how long were you together before you got engaged? What is the average?
Q. I am rather depressed of late. I am 28, and I've been with my partner for three years, he's 26. It seems that everyone around me is getting either married, or engaged... But me. I am starting to feel left behind and frustrated with my partner's lack ...
A. 10 January 2012: I agree with chigirl in principle, but if you are a girl that wants her man to propose to you and be romantic, then proposing yourself is not the best idea. Because you might then later have regrets and anger over why he never bothered to plan a ... (read in full...)
Sex is like...?
Q. I really want to have sex but don't have a boyfriend. Could someone please tell me what it feels like to have sex. Like comparisons. ...
A. 5 January 2012: Sex feels like tingling travelling up and down your body, especially at certain parts. It feels like tension and build up, like you're straining for something. It feels like pressure and sometimes a little pain, sometimes you see stars. Honestly, ... (read in full...)
Fun things that LDR couples can do?
Q. I'm in a very happy and strong long distance relationship with my boyfriend and have been for a year now. It's still a little while until we can physically be together so until then I want to keep the romance and excitement alive by finding more fun ...
A. 5 January 2012: Play online games together - on msn or other game sites. You can be on the phone or webcam and both be watching the same movie or show at the same time. Send each other care packages, postcards, nice letters. When I was long distance, we even both ... (read in full...)
He didn't tell his ex he is TAKEN so she keeps texting him
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now and we have a great bond. I trust him fully and trully. He is very honest with me and tells me everything about him and his only ex. They have been together for 2 years and so. He thinks that ...
A. 30 December 2011: I agree with So Very Confused, if she has no right to care about his personal life, then she also has no right to be texting him every day. If they are still in such close contact after being broken up so long, they should be in the friends ... (read in full...)
My grandfathers party is on the same day as my girlfriends! What should I do?
Q. I need a question answered. My girlfriend goes to church and I go with her most of the time. and they invited me to their Christmas party because of my GF. I promised my GF that I would go with her. But today I found out that my Grandfather's part...
A. 28 December 2011: I would say go to your grandfathers'. Your girlfriend is being so understanding, so you should take advantage of the time you have with your grandfather. You said that you can't go to both because of the timing, but would it be possible to drop in ... (read in full...)
Sex before a relationship? Yes or No?
Q. whats everyones thoughts on having sex before relationship? yes or ney? is it lust or love? does a girl who wants sex before relationship love that person? inputs?...
A. 28 December 2011: I guess it depends on what you want from that person. If you just want sex/one night stand, have fun. If you want a relationship, my opinion is that it's more meaningful to wait a little bit. Not only does it make both of you more comfortable with ... (read in full...)
I am no longer religious, but the girl I am interested in, is. Is this a bad road to go down?
Q. For 4 years, I attended a small private Christian college and in my last year, ironically enough, I slowly became an atheist. Well fast forward 8 months after graduation and I'm just working day to day and seeing friends on the weekends. Most ...
A. 20 December 2011: To be honest, I don't think a relationship where one person is religious and the other one isn't is likely to end well. It would likely depend on the degree of religiousness, but if she is highly religious and that is a/the priority in her life, ... (read in full...)
When You Get Married Do You Really Get Bored?
Q. Okay I'm obviously way to young to be considering marriage or anything but I'm just curious... When you get married does the flame die out and you want to move on to someone else? Or when you really love someone does it not get boring? Lol I'm just ...
A. 19 December 2011: Life with the same person can get a bit boring/monotonous, but you try to make things interesting. The flame can die out, but doesn't mean that it can't be rekindled occasionally. Marriage won't be like the beginning of a relationship, filled with ... (read in full...)
I had an abortion and having a tough time dealing with it. Does anyone have experience with this?
Q. hello all. I've been going through a hard time and i just need advice from people out there that have gone through the same thing i have. I don't want to hear how much of a bad person i am and how i'm worthless ect. thanks. but anyway, about three ...
A. 5 December 2011: I went through a similar thing as well. Had an abortion when I was 23. Both me and my boyfriend were not in the best situation to support a child yet. And it was devastating. Even now when I think of it, I will sometimes get quite upset and cry a ... (read in full...)
My fiancee does not want her parents told we are engaged. How do I build a better relationship with her parents? Kind answers only please!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for eight months and are now happily engaged. Seems simple enough, right? Well we are both 17 and out parents don't exactly approve. My father says that he is happy that I have found someone I would like to ...
A. 5 December 2011: When exactly are you planning on getting married? Will it be a long engagement? Or are you planning on getting married in the near future. Because if it is in the near future, the parents will likely be even less happy. Also, they will probably... (read in full...)
My wife's ex-boyfriend contacted her after 20 years of no contact. I am not sure what to think about this.
Q. My wife's ex-boyfriend (the one prior to me) contacted her after 20 years of no contact. I have been with my wife for 19 years. My wife did not tell me about this. I discovered it when I saw a strange number on her cell phone bill. I confront...
A. 5 December 2011: Frankly, I think that both of you were kind of unreasonable. She should never have hid it from you in the first place, and it is a little suspicious of her to call him "gross". Seems kind of strange. And you should never have jumped straight to the ... (read in full...)
Do dads and stepdads deserve to have access to their daughter's information?
Q. Long story short, I found out my mom decided to tell my stepdad all my secrets, including the fact that I want to go on birth control, and the fact that my last shampoo gave me dandruff, and I didn't know until the lady cutting my hair said I need a ...
A. 5 December 2011: With my significant other, I will generally tell him just about everything. If it is something sensitive, I will tell him to keep it to himself and not tell anyone else or say anything about it. If the person specifically specifies that they do not ... (read in full...)
My abusive husband threatens to label me a bad mother if I leave him
Q. Our daughter is four. the other night I was so ashamed when my little girl tried to stop my husband hitting me. She physically tried to push him away. He is always kind to her and he waits until she is asleep before he starts to be nastier to me. I...
A. 27 November 2011: Having been a witness to my dad hitting my my mom, I know that it leaves scars for the rest of your life. I have memories of being scared that my dad would kill my mom so I was afraid to go to sleep because I was afraid I would never see her again. ... (read in full...)
Does it ever work out when the love interest has an overprotective, platonic friend of the opposite sex?
Q. I have been in this situation more times than I would have liked. I like a shy guy who is controlled by his overprotective friend who is a girl. She swears that there is no attraction between them and he will always be like her little brother, but ...
A. 27 November 2011: It's hard but it can work, although it depends on the degree to which the friend is overprotective and actively tries to break you up. It actually happens a lot that the female friends of a guy like having his attention aimed towards them, even if ... (read in full...)
Do you believe in the saying "when one door closes, another one opens"?
Q. Do you believe in the saying "when one door closes, another one opens"? Has something ever happened to you that would substantiate your belief in this saying? I missed out on a job opportunity (my dream job) because I am not part of the "clique"...
A. 24 November 2011: I don't exactly believe in this saying the way it is. I do believe that when one door closes, we work to open another door. Because if one door/opportunity closes, you have the chance to do something else. ... (read in full...)
Does anyone agree with "everything happens for a reason"
Q. I was wondering, do you believe in the phrase "everything happens for a reason". I am finding it hard to believe at the moment. I applied for my dream job (a promotion), got an interview... Everything was going well. The panel knew me, gave me...
A. 23 November 2011: No, I believe that things happen for some reason or other, but usually not because there is some greater plan out there. I think it can be a good way of looking at things so that we appreciate what we have, but I believe things happen because they ... (read in full...)
Career vs Love - what comes first?
Q. What's more important? • a career that pays $10k more than you currently earn... With greater responsibility and pressure. Or... • being in a loving relationship, building your own home and having a future with somebody that loves you? Your wag...
A. 23 November 2011: Love comes first for me. Because I've always looked at money as a means to an end. What's the point of having all that extra money if you don't have the special person to share it with, build a home and family together with, and make happy with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is working over Christmas - again! I'm furious, help please!
Q. Hi guys, please help, i am fuming! My bf does shift work and he has a responsible role. This year will be our first proper Xmas togther. Let me explain...last year he decided to work a night shift on Xmas day. This meant i got to see him for a round ...
A. 16 November 2011: I'm actually going to disagree with what most of the other people are saying.
I'm currently studying to go into nursing, and what I have seen is that generally the holidays especially christmas/new year's, no one really wants to work. So there ge... (read in full...)
2 month dating and we want to always be together. Do I move to his army base?
Q. Okay , so I have been dating this guy for about two months now and he has already told me that I am the one he wants to be with for the rest of his life . I also know that I want to do the same . He is getting back into the army and wants me to move ...
A. 9 November 2011: Not really. 2 months is too short a time before making such a huge step. But if it's what you really want to do, it's your decision. Just want to point out a few things for you to take into consideration - how far would you be moving? Would you know ... (read in full...)
What should I do? My boyfriend has bad spending habits and he is too obliging to his friends...
Q. Doi you think this could be a problem later? What should I do? My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and we are talking about getting married. But I'm actually a little wary of how he handles finances and I'm worried that this will a...
A. 7 November 2011: You're right, this is a touchy subject, since you will be trying to change something that he has been doing for some time, and he doesn't see anything wrong with it. On the other hand, I think you can do it in a gentle and guiding way to help him ... (read in full...)
Need help with online dating.
Q. Has anyone got experience of on line dating? I have met 3,but they have all been less than truthful. Professional was unemployed. Had 1 child was really 4. Single turned out to be in a relationship who enjoyed the thrill. Does it ever get better?...
A. 6 November 2011: Yes, I met someone online over 3 years ago, more for a casual thing than actual dating. And we are now getting married in 2 months, after dating for 2.5 years and living together for a good length of time. Now, this is likely the exception rather ... (read in full...)
I donated a kidney for love, how do I tell my parents back home?
Q. I am form Pakistan but currently on visit visa in States. On third day of my visit, two months back, I went to strip dance club and fell in love with striptease dancer who was beautiful beyond description. After meeting her, for next two weeks, ...
A. 6 November 2011: Do you really need to tell your parents you gave her kidney to her? I mean, it's your personal health info and doctors can't tell them. It's not really your parents' business or decision what you do with your own body. So if it will cause so much ... (read in full...)
I'm still attracted to him and want to resume the affair. But how do I handle the fact that he also wants me to tell my husband who is really the father of our child?
Q. I had an affair with a man who is a friend of an old fling of mine from the past. Plus he’s now married. He was from my home back in One state, and I had moved to another state. We bumped into each other one evening while he was having drinks with...
A. 6 November 2011: Oh my, if he is serious about telling your husband that she is his child, then I don't know how you can avoid a huge blowup. The best you can do is be the one that tells your husband yourself. He still will probably be heartbroken, betrayed, and ... (read in full...)
What should I do? My boyfriend has bad spending habits and he is too obliging to his friends...
Q. Doi you think this could be a problem later? What should I do? My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and we are talking about getting married. But I'm actually a little wary of how he handles finances and I'm worried that this will a...
A. 2 November 2011: His financial irresponsibility, especially at his age, is reckless and in no way conducive to starting a family together or even getting a place together. I personally would never get entangled financially with someone like him until he got his act ... (read in full...)
How rational is my boyfriend's anger towards his room mate?
Q. I feel really ill and responsible for something terrible. I have been dating someone on and off for about a year and a half. He has a roommate that has been his friend since he was four years old. Just incidentally from being at his house so often I ...
A. 11 August 2011: I think it's perfectly justified. This might just be the thing that pushed your boyfriend over the edge and showed him how far J would go in taking advantage of him. The fact that J uses pills and stole some pills could be brushed off by K as J ... (read in full...)
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